Actually, I don't know if I can say "new" guilty pleasure, because I don't know if I've ever had a guilty pleasure before.  I would have to say most of my past pleasures I've been pretty guilt free about.  Except maybe the time I laughed when I saw that fat lady slip on the icy sidewalk outside the Burger King.  But I only felt guilty about that for, like, two seconds, before I resumed enjoying my Whopper.

My newest source of entertainment though…I think I feel a little guilty.  It feels like voyeurism in a certain respect, though everyone in this forum is on display of their own free will.  What is this fascinating/dirty/guilty display?

The "Casual Encounters" section of craigslist.com.

Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes puzzling, and sometimes outrageous, it's a veritable freak show of people who are looking for…something.  I'm not really sure what they're looking for, and I don't think they're always sure either.  Sex?  Sometimes, but not always.  A date?  Not exactly.  Attention?  Almost definitely.

The point is, unlike the "Woman seeking Men" (or whatever) section, which is just a relatively sane mass of people in search of their preferred form of companionship, the "Casual Encounters" section is a far more interesting, and in many ways far more accurate, display of human mating.

First, in order to read the posts, you need to know some important acronyms:

A/S/L= Age, sex, location.  This is important information when you want to hook up for some random, spur of the moment sex.  I mean, if you want a 23 year old female in Minneapolis, you don't want to find yourself fucking a 57 year old male in Columbia Heights.  That would be embarrassing.  Also, Columbia Heights smells like ass.

BBW=  Big, beautiful, woman.  See also: fat.  That sounds mean, but let's be realistic here…big beautiful woman could also apply to a gorgeous, thin, big-breasted woman who just also happened to be 100-feet tall.  However, I have scoured craigslist, and I have yet to find an ad for even ONE woman who was over 100-feet tall.  I can't even find one for someone over 50-feet tall.  They're all less than seven feet.  So guess which direction these beautiful women are "big" in?  I'll give you a hint…it's the direction you'll be running when you see their pictures.

BF/GF= Boyfriend/Girfriend.  Almost always proceeded by the word, "My," and followed by the phrase, "…just doesn't satisfy me sexually."

ISO= In Search Of.  Sounds so much more formal than "I'm posting an electronic advertisement for sex with a stranger."  That's dirty.  But ISO…that makes it sound like a quest, or something.  Like looking for the Holy Grail.  Only instead of getting eternal life, you get Hepatitis B.

J/K= Just Kidding.  As in: "Appearances aren't important to me.  J/K."

LTR= Long Term Relationship.  Guess how many times I've seen this one used in the "Casual Encounters" section?  If you guessed "1", you're WAY over.

NSA= No Strings Attached.  This is a much more popular term in the "Casual Encounters" section.  Everyone wants sex with "no strings attached."  Now, maybe I just haven't had sex with the right people, but I never felt like there were any strings attached to sex.  I mean, I've never rolled off a girl before and had her say, "Gee Tim, that was great.  And by the way, your cellphone plan has just been switched to Midwest Wireless, and it's a two year contract.  I'll need you to sign and date this form."

Damn it.  I knew I should have just had sex with the T-Mobile guy instead.

Armed with the secret language of the personal ads, what do we learn from reading?  Well, the "Men for Women" section is pretty straight forward.  Guys know what they want.  Girls know what guys want.  Guys know girls know what they want.  Girls know that guys know that etc etc etc.

Basically they need a hole to stick it in.

Wow…when I put it that way, it sounds really disgusting.  But in reality sex is very…uh…no it's actually pretty disgusting.

Probably the most telling thing about the guy ads is the almost comical over reliance on pictures of the genitals.  Now girls, this may seem crude to you, but you have to understand that guys are just trying to appeal to you on the level they would want to be appealed to.  Guys WANT to see your naughty bits, so they assume the best way to attract you is to show you their fun-zone.  I, of course, know better, but only from practical experience.  The first time I tried to attract a prospective mate by whipping out my cock, in created quite a ruckus.  One I was fortunate enough to escape from, but just barely, and only by fleeing at full speed.

Those damn nursing home residents run fast.

I find the women's ads to be much more fascinating, party because the idea of females who just NEED to have sex both intrigues and excites me, while simultaneously filling me with a deep sense of skepticism, because I can't imagine such a thing exists.  It's like contemplating having sex with a mythological creature, like a unicorn or a mermaid where the upper half is the fish half and the lower half is the girl half.  But they're also fascinating because in many cases, I'm not really sure what the hell the poster wants.  Take this recently found ad, for example:

I've been here 3 long months and I am ready to start dating...I want someone take me downtown to see Mama Mia, or to Morton's Steak House. Whisk me away for a weekend getaway or shopping spree and then lets go back to room or your beautiful home and do naughty things.

To answer all questions now I have expensive taste and I am very high maintenace, so if you are BROKE please do not waste my time.

I am seeking a mutal casual relationship with a SINGLE man only. I am seeking a man who is capable of SPOILING me. I want more than a one night stand and all the benefits of a girlfriend without all the drama of a relationship.

Or:

So, to empower the situation and turn the tables for once, I am looking for a fit, intelligent, good sense of humor successful man who for whatever reason is not capabable or time for relationship, but still wants something with an attractive woman who has a brain, personality and beyond the normal female in the sex category.

Now, am I looking for someone who it is just sex with? No. Chemistry makes sex so much better. Being able to laugh and have a conversation with makes it much more satisfying. But, I want to be pampered, appreciated for my discretion, lack of drama and what I have to offer.

These examples are not unique, either.  I found several ads where the poster claims she wants a guy who will spend time with her, laugh with her, have conversations with her, have sex with her…but she does NOT want a relationship.  Of course.  Makes sense.  I mean, God-forbidden that during all the shopping, laughing, bonding, and screwing, that actual FEELINGS develop between the two people.

I have a theory about this type of post, but it is only that: a theory.  I think these people have been hurt in relationships before (uh…quick…somebody call the "Duh" police) and so now they want to create an artificial "pseudo-relationship" where they get all the emotional, mental, and physical benefits such a relationship comes with, but if they somehow deny the interaction the official title of "relationship" they won't be hurt when it ends.  Does this actually work?  I don't know for certain, but somehow I doubt it.  To me a relationship isn't some sort of official agreement you enter into (like my aforementioned cellphone mishap), but is something that develops with regular interaction with other people, regardless of whether you want it to or not.  And maybe these people are just hiding behind a clever shield of electronic bulletin board fueled detachment to protect themselves from the possibility of genuine happiness and genuine pain.

Or maybe they're all just huge sluts.

IMHO (In My Humble Opinion), you'll never find the decent SO (Significant Other) you are ISO if you just CYA (Cover Your Ass) with online personals.  But, FWIW (For What It's Worth), they're pretty funny to read.

TTYL (Talk To You Later).