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The executive report from a wonderful week-long stay in Austin, Texas for the 2009 South By Southwest assemblage. This has been distilled from various accounts my several subconsciouses filed with my overtaxed primary conscious. I am aware that "subconsciouses" does not spell-check.
1. Janeane Garofalo babysat my kids.
Sort of. And only for about two minutes.
As I understand it (I was elsewhere), my wife and kids were at a shop on South Congress in Austin. Comedienne Janeane Garofalo was also in the shop. I don't know if you know my daughter Lucie, but she is the most aggressively and pleasantly social 4-year-old in the history of 4-year-olds. So when she sees Janeane in line, she says to Janeane what she says with just about everybody she meets in that situation: "Hello, I'm Lucie, and I'm 4 years old!"
At that point, Kate got in line to buy something, and Lucie sort of gravitated over to Janeane, along with Hank, who's one year old. Janeane apparently, very graciously, kept my kids occupied while Kate completed her purchase.
Lucie emerged from the meeting with a development deal which Janeane will exec-produce.
While this was happening,
2. I rode in an elevator with Mark Mothersbaugh from DEVO.
I wouldn't have noted this experience – encounters like this are pretty common at SX – except for Mark's presence at the time, which I thought made a fairly poignant commentary on something or another. He was dressed in 21st-century DEVO workman uniform, and was carrying the upturned plastic flowerpot hat his group is of course famous for. He had some personal belongings stashed in the hat, including a giant wad of money, the top-most bill of which was a very crisp, obviously new-issue $5 bill.
I dunno, that image said something to me. No words were exchanged.
3. The best meal of the trip was the first one, at Perico's Mexican Café in Houston.
If you have never had Tex-Mex Enchiladas, go to southern Texas and have several, preferably at an establishment frequented by local Latin Americans, like Perico's. If you are a vegetarian, lapse for half an hour. 
4. The second best meal of the trip was at Sam's BBQ on East 12th Avenue in Austin.
This is a shack of an establishment favored by Stevie Ray Vaughan when he was alive. Generous portions of insanely tender ribs and brisket for under ten dollars, and my favorite counterperson ever: Kay, the matronly overseer who fawned over Lucie and Hank the whole time.
5. Green Mesquite BBQ is fine.
The sauce was rippin' but they forgot my potato salad.
6. I had Frito Pie at Joe's with Garann and Nathan.
Nice portions, but the sauce was too sweet.
7. All food in Austin is good-to-excellent so I'll shut up about the food.
The best is usually, coincidentally, the cheapest.
8. I agonize over artist interviews with far more dread or concern than the final experience actually entails.
In particular, the New York Dolls interview, in which David & Sylvain were remarkably thoughtful, intelligent, reflective and forgiving of any shortcomings the interviewer might have displayed. After seeing Johansen's pure joy at the Rachael Ray showcase, I could see why: They're really happy to be there. I think they leave the cynicism on record. That's hard to separate.
9. Oh, yeah, speaking of Rachael Ray:
She was tanked.
I don't mean to go on about it – frankly it's of some reassurance that the reigning queen of suburban cuisine needs to get her drink on, since frequently I have to in order to watch her shows or hear her utterances of "EVOO" – but it was a rather unabashed, probably unconscious display of hoarse enthusiasm ("NEW YORK DOLLS! POSSIVLY THE GREATETH BAND – EV – ahhh…. AH!")
10. I love the Ettes, and so does my son Hank, who displayed his affection by drooling on lead singer Coco's breast.
She took it as a very primal compliment.
11. The Avett Brothers are avowed Hall & Oates fans.
Not that I needed to justify it, but, there you go.
12. I don't know who the best band I saw at SXSW was because I wasn't really in evaluation mode by the time I got to them.
But I'll guess it was The Woggles.
13. Headhunters on Red River is my favorite bar in Austin.
That's of course the one where I feel the least safe. But if any of you Rodeo Kill or Dirty Birds types are lookin' to hit the Southern circuit, this is where you will be loved and nurtured.
14. Nobody I know saw Metallica's secret show at Stubb's.
And there was scant evidence the morning after that it had taken place at all. I think they made it up like the moon landing.
15. Yeah, I tweeted.
I kinda get it now.
16. We came in under budget.
Which is nice, 'cause now I can afford to rent a nice tux for Merwyn and Tammy's wedding. Or maybe a clown suit. We haven't settled yet.
See you next year, Texas.
8:42 AM
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