I've been trying to find a place to rent for the last month or so.
It's proving to  be difficult. Its all about timing. All these elements falling together in the right place. Because its failed to happen, I'm only hoping it will happen soon. I am going to one more inspection this weekend. I think thats enough for now. One more inspection. If I am unsuccessful. I'll just have to move in with my dad. There is no other way around in. I feel I have no options left.

I can't afford to take any more days off work.
I have a day off at home today.Finally. But of course, it hasn't felt like home in a long  time. I don't know what is any more. It makes me so upset everytime I think about it. I cleaned my room for the first time in like a month the other day. It took me that long to get around to doing it. I wasn't at home most of the time. I also stocked the fridge with some food. This house is so empty in so many ways. It's not  a home anymore.

I think Its time I humble down a bit and ask for some help. So I guess its okay if I do get the people that love me to take care of me. If just for a little bit. I do want my flat. I want it so bad. Something small and humble that I can call my own. Something that says...I am making it in the world. Then I can start my life. Finally start and just do the things I want to do. Be who I want to be. I have goals...

I need a little push out the door. I need a bit of faith and confidence.

It will happen soo enough.  :)