indifference is the worst bite to acquire
purgatory is neither warm nor cold
but i couldn't care either way.
the fluid drips from the fangs into the wounds
carving the landscape to suit the flow
it saturates into what are now canyons
nothing can stop it, it seems.
i'm shaking my head to stop
and relishing in the experience
and i'm left with nothing.
its no longer a two way road
its no longer a path
its mindless meandering, body falling into place
i've always said whatever happens happens
i didn't know this is what i meant.
i hear a wolf in the distance, so cunning
he wants to come near my half-frightened stance.
my heart feels compressed and screams for resolution
i want him here!
i want him gone!
the pointless batter of soupy dough.
i can feel the stream in my toes now, squirming.
deceiving my feet.
the howl startles me, and warms this place.
i like the call, and listen to brother wolf.
my heart is pounding again, indifferent,
avoiding conclusion.
looking around all i see is the fangs
the uncaring worries.
its spinning me around and around
i'm a shaker of fluids and toxicity.
but how i love the dry mouth!
i know who i am, now comes another dilemma:
what do i want?
i want it to work how it should.
if the poison is to change me, than it shall.
i don't want to fight life anymore.
if wolf won't call on my comfort...
than he shan't.
i've tried to make these stings beneficial for so long
i've attempted to control what will be.
i've manifested when it was right.
and thats what it should be.
purgatory is a comfort food.
indifference is the sweet sap of acceptance.
the mother whispers her melodies and i will listen
absorb all that i can.
the toxins shall fade, my heart will cease to tense.
sometime, if the wolf will meander
if he will sling his form into mine
i will accept it. embrace it.
but not expect it, nor demand it.
i mustn’t be like the poison
and carve and adjust and control
and grow weary if there’s no stone to chip
no crystal to uncover.
they will reveal themselves willing.
i can speak these foreign tongues fluently.
these passages to completeness,
but the resonation is distant.
an echo in my subconscious.
a howling in a blackened terrain.
i ask myself forgiveness for the blockades
put up, mother knows how long before.
i am a constant balancing act
tip-toeing the faint yin/yang line
the happiness and unsettledness
the crisply clean and the eye-fogging dust
i beg myself resistance dropped
and water, poison, astringent, tarnish
to bust through my heart and brain
encompass my everything,
disease into prepared acceptance
and free-flowing free-spiritedness.
unforced.
uncorked.
just.


<3