life recently has thrown me some serious problems these past few days.
all i want to do is crawl up into a ball and just disappear some where.
i just know that its something i just can't do... i need to work to
survive, i need to work pay off my debts, i need to work to pay rent,
basically i need money. which is why i decided to help out lilly. but i
wasn't expecting to be betrayed by the place i work for. betrayed is a
strong word, but i honestly don't care. its how i feel. its not even
the same company anymore. there are a whole bunch of new ppl now and
idk who to suspect about my camera. the general manager doesn't give a
damn about wats going except the contracts that i'm working with. the
other day he had the never to tell me that i couldn't leave til i
finished with what i was doing. oh hell no! the only reason why i had
to look for a new job is because they couldn't afford to pay me. but
instead, come up with a new position called "Director of New
Technologies" was i asked about taking the position? nope. instead they
did the same thing they always do, hire someone who looks hawaiian. i
don't hate those people at all. its not their fault. they are all
really close friends to me, but isn't it illegal to do that? need i
remind you that i'm a 1/4 hawaiian? oh no but you can't tell cuz my
skin is white. idk i'm just so fucking tired of all of thise crap
already. so i'm saying it now. i'm done. after lilly comes back i'm
quiting. everyone is saying that its for the best because i put so much
into this company for the past 4 years and i have nothing to show for
it. someone once told me a long time ago, "it's what you get for doing
your job right." i always thought being dependable makes you a valuable
asset, but now i realize that being dependable and always willing to
achieve the stars means your going to get used. having a can do
attitude means ur never going to have a life ever. rrr fuck it already.




bye