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World (and Lunar) Domination "...Buggin out, like Tori Spelling's eyes..."

mardi, août 23, 2005 

Humeur actuelle :  amusé

So, a while ago, I wrote a letter to Buger King...

Hello My Burger Broiling Buddies,

I write to you this fine day to address the state of the world we live in, and how that involves BURGER KING®. I'd like to start off by saying how I've enjoyed your delicious burgers for years. There are McCompetitors that cannot compare quality-wise or taste-wise to grilled ground beef patty satisfaction. Some place still needs to make a man's burger... and I'm sure you're proud that the WHOPPER® is arguably the most unhealthy fast food burger on the market as far as calories, fat, and carbs are concerned. Kudos to bucking 'health' trends... and excellent job shutting people up by finally offering that veggie burger. Those health freaks need to live a little!

I understand that as times change, menu items come and go. I miss they days of the little mini-burgers that you could order by the 3's, and I miss how the fries used to be... and the 'shaker' fries. Unfortunately, I haven't eaten at a BURGER KING® since you've introduced the FIRE-GRILLED SHRIMP GARDEN SALAD®. You see, my friends... I have a severe allergic reaction to any and all types of shellfish. This includes shrimp, lobster, crab, clams, muscles, oysters, squid, snails, crayfish, and the like. My allergy is so severe that even contact on the same grill can warrant a trip to the emergency room. So, alas, I've had to (sadly) cut the BK® from my ever-dwindling restaurant selection... as any given burger may cause certain death.

I was considering a trip in to try the new BK CHICKEN FRIES® that I have seen advertised... as I had assumed that these would be fried, and not touch the grill anywhere near said grilled shrimp... but I hear tales form friends that some of the area BURGER KING® restaurants are now serving fried shrimp? I took a look at your website... and didn't see this on your menu, but I realize that sometimes some locations are used as 'test markets' to try out new products, and thusly may be 'top secret' and not listed. Is this true? If so, I will indeed be forever forced to stay away from your fine establishment.

This brings me to some other points... first the more minor of the two: There's nowhere to e-mail you at the BURGER KING® website. Above when I was mentioning progression and changing times, I had commended you on the menu aspect. Though, I must say, such a large company in 2005 not having a posted e-mail address, a web contact form, or someone in-house to take care of all of that... is a pretty superannuated way of thinking. I will take the time to print and mail this via the US Postal Service, but think how much more efficient and timely an e-mail would have been.

The other point... in talking to my friends (the ones that informed me of this new fried shrimp), I have heard about a steady decline in service in your stores in the Pittsburgh area and Southwestern PA in general. One has even commented that he may join me in my self-imposed exile from the burger kingdom due to lack of quality service. He has repeatedly gone to a BURGER KING® drive-thru on the way to work in the morning for breakfast, to have his order served incorrectly 3 out of 5 days a week... and on the other 2 days to be told that they're out of certain items, such as the tiny little cinnamon buns. He is not one to exaggerate.

I don't understand how it can be difficult to fill an order that is typed out for you on a screen. The only skill you need is reading comprehension. Is it hard to find employees with said skills? The second matter is clearly a management responsibility. If you repeatedly run out of an item at peak times... don't you think that you would learn to prepare & order more accurately? Don't they teach this in BK® management training?

Do you think the emphasis of going to college or trade school today to get higher-paying managerial jobs has put a damper on the employee pool that fast-food chain restaurants like yourself have to pull from, and imposed a stigma upon the 'fast food worker' job in general?

Oh well, my letter was not meant to criticize. I merely wanted to open a discussion and hear your thoughts on my allergy issues and my friends' service issues... and see if there was a way in the future that I may perhaps somehow return to BURGER KING® as a proud customer... knowing that BK® cares about my health as well as the health-nuts, and that you care about the individual service that your stores provide. I look forward whole-heartedly to your reply!


Can't Eat the Shrimp Juice,
-ERiC AiXeLsyD

...and today, I got a reply:

Letter from BURGER KING®!

Envelope & Coupons from BURGER KING®!

This shit just amuses me to no end... that someone had to reply to this.  Ha ha ha.  Hell, maybe it does do some good after all.  If you'd like to see more insanity, check out:  World (and Lunar) Domination.

Actuellement Je lis:
Uncle John's 4-Ply Bathroom Reader (Bathroom Reader's Institute)
Par Bathroom Reader's Institute
Date de publication : 2003
myspace.com/ melynduhmae

 
hahah thats great
 
Publié par myspace.com/ melynduhmae le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 4:46
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 11:14
[Répondre
Dave
Dave Warren

 

Yay!!  Free Whopper®!!!!!

I need to write in and complain now as well.


 
Publié par Dave le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 12:02
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 

Totally!!!  Free food kicks ass!  Notice, they didn't adress my service issues?  Maybe they will to you if that's all you write about.

I'm actually happy that I can eat there again.  The new commercials make me giggle like a schoolgirl... or a dude who wears bitch pants.

 

"Cross the road, the road, the road... Cross the road, the road, the road..."


 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 11:17
[Répondre
Elizabeth

 
Very Interesting!! lol :) 
 
Publié par Elizabeth le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 2:21
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 

Ha ha ha.  There's more insanity here.

I dunno where it comes from.  I think it's funny that they wrote back & didn't comment on me saying that they have the most unhealthy burger ever... or on my comments about the quality of their service.

Also... they wrote back to "ERiC AiXeLsyD" instead of "Eric Aixelsyd" like most companies do.  That alone makes this the best reply ever.


 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le mardi, août 23, 2005 - 11:20
[Répondre
Dave
Dave Warren

 
I don't think that Burger King has the most unhealthy burger.  I'm thinking that would be the Monster Burger from Hardee's.  I swear I felt my heart slow down when I ate it.  It's double meat, double cheese, mayo, bacon and a buttered roll.  Yummy.

 
Publié par Dave le mercredi, août 24, 2005 - 12:31
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 
Hardee's tastes funny... then call it "Angus Beef", but I think they just name all the horses "Angus".
 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le mercredi, août 24, 2005 - 3:25
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 

@ BK I GOT IT!

 

Heh.  Sounds like a bad thing...


 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le mercredi, août 24, 2005 - 11:57
[Répondre
An-DiE
An-DiE Last Name

 

fast food shrimp just seems like a bad idea. I can't imagine anyone who likes shrimp thinking "I want shrimp, I'll go to Burger King"

oh and those Chicken Fingers commercials scare the hell out of me.


 
Publié par An-DiE le mercredi, août 24, 2005 - 9:22
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 

I love those commercials!  I want chicken fingers soley because of the advertising!  So progressive.  Ha ha ha.  Metal band a la Gwar/Green Jellö dressed like chickens!

COQ ROQ!

It's crazy that they have all that, but you can't send them an e-mail.

Shellfish is the bane of my existance.  It needs to stay out of the shitty places where I can eat if it's going to dominate the nice places where I can't eat.


 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le jeudi, août 25, 2005 - 1:15
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD
ERiC AiXeLsyD

 
<P>size=1>Wow, this BK reply was on the <EM>old</EM> size=1>PittsburghBeat.comsize=1> gallery, before it was hacked & destroyed.</P><P>size=1>Here they are again...</P><P></P><P> </P><P></P><P> </P><P> </P>
 
Publié par ERiC AiXeLsyD le samedi, avril 28, 2007 - 2:44
[Répondre
ERiC AiXeLsyD

ERiC AiXeLsyD


Dernière mise à jour : 20/11/2009

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Sexe : Male
Statut : Marié(e)
Age : 33
Zodiaque: Capricorne

Ville : PITTSBURGH
Région : Pennsylvania
Pays: US
Date d’inscription :: 6/01/2005

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