Hi

Don't start I'm not in the mood : )
And me not being in the mood is a good mood to be in when I want to write a blog. It made sense in my head.

I'm not really that sorry that I haven't written in my blog for a while because no one will read it anyway.

Okay I was leaving a comment on my friend's MySpace or TheirSpace and thought of a good subject to write my new blog about!

So here is the top 5 things I want to do before I croak.

FIVE
I've always been a huge fan of car chases; Bullitt, Die Another Day, The Incredibles, well the third one hasn't got a car chase in but I like it anyway.
So the fifth thing I want to do before I get murdered by the pope is drive a large tanker over a ramp onto Number 10 Downing St. Not that I want Mr B to get hurt or anything. No, Gordon Brown will be in there then.

FOUR
I think every boy's dream is to set fire to alot of very expensive equiptment that doesn't belong to them. And I think that the only person in the world that can get away with it is Barney the Dinosaur, simply because EVERYBODY loves Barney. So at number four I want to burn Barney until he is a melted pile of laughing play-doh.

FREE
We've all seen Jordan on page 3 bearing her womanly features and now it's Keeley. Will this insanity go on any longer? I can't bear their stupidity! Nobody reads the papers anymore! If you really want to show off your 40DDs to the nation the only obvious way to do it is to purchase a large projector and shine a large picture of yourself on a tall building in Central London. So that's why my number three is to show my large manhood to the world. Not because I want to be a page 3 girl, but because I want to see the look on Her Majesty's face when she sees a fourteen year old's thingymabob separating hers and prince Charles' bedroom window. And now i feel is a good time to say to Charlie that you are in your 50s sir and you still live with your mother. I don't know why Camilla married you but I'm sure that isn't a turn on.

TOO
I want to borrow sixteen million quid off my mum with a slight intention of paying her back, just so I can go to the US of A and offer NASA a few bob to take me to the moon. Number two isn't to go into space, I don't care about that, it's just to prove that Neil Armstrong's shadows weren't due to bad camera quality.

ONE UNO UN WON
I know 'ooohh that's so mean Ross' could be quite fitting here, but, quick and painless, my numero un is to push a granny, preferably with a zimaframe, into a bush or large shrub. Yes ok it's not nice but they are living off poket money from Blair and spend it all on Werthers Original and The Sunday Telegraph.
You are all going to die soon so let me put you out of your misery before the Telegraph becomes a Tabloid.