What is this thing?  The glory days of blogging were cut shorter than they appeared, in the way that you never really know what you’ve lost until it’s gone.  Only in retrospect can you stick a pin in it, in the point that was the end of an era.

But there are still some angels sleepin’ on the couch, not paying rent.  Vagrants, the lot of them ... but their fleeting residence, such as it is, on the head of that pin, ... (I thought there was somewhere clever to go with that; never mind me.)  In short, the glory days aren’t over until I say they are.  And there’s still some life left in me.  Here’s a blog.

Guinness is the greatest invention the Irish people ever contributed to the world.  In a way, that can be read as insulting to the Irish people, but it’s a compliment.  Guinness is the greatest invention Mankind has ever contributed to the world, and since the Irish are the ones responsible, I think that gives them the great honor of being among the greatest people to have existed.

Guinness has its own holy day.  The renowned St. Patrick McFlanO’Henryhan was born and became a prophet at the gates of St. James, the patron saint of Dublin.  There he slept and dreamt of midgets in green top hats.  When God zapped him awake with a rainbow, he saw a pot of gold coins, used them to build a brewery, which was to be called Where Guinness Is Made.  This brewery produced the black mead in abundance, and all who tasted of its frothy head did stop and ponder the meaning of existence, of God’s gift to humanity.  Three hundred years later, the day of Guinness is still celebrated.  March 17.  [This history lesson is not entirely true.]

Since Guinness has its own holiday, it should be the one and only true beer to be consumed in its honor.

But heathens, uninformed peons, forsake the Day of Guinness.  Instead of enjoying a well-poured Guinness from a pint glass, the way it was ordained by You Know Who, these dumb blasphemers make a mockery of the occasion by indulging themselves and their misguided notion that adding food coloring to pitchers of Budweiser et al., Coors et al., Miller et al., etc is the proper way to celebrate.

Even though, technically, EVERY day is Guinness Day, the one day in the year that the world joins hands and lifts a pint in an internationally simultaneous reverie should be celebrated properly.

Fizzy, green beer is for wussies!