I am posting this here because I can't post the link to my blog.  Our lovely friends here at myspace disable the link so you can't get to it.....
I like cheez it's. The addiction came with a former boyfriend who always bought them at the grocery store. It's an easy snack that I can grab a handful of and it will curb my hunger for a few hours until I have time to eat.
So, at my job at The Hermitage, one of the guys in charge of housekeeping will sometimes leave one of those giant plastic jars of cheez it's in the break room for all to enjoy. I love this. It usually results in several trips to the Administration Building for a snack break. An indication of how much I like these tasty little snacks-I hate leaving my office to walk up there, and I try not to go up there all that often.
Now, I have good reason for this. I always leave the breakroom fairly annoyed. I think those of us in my department are a fairly liberal bunch. We stay on the up and up with the news, we know what is going on in the world and how our government is reacting. Generally we like Obama, we are all registered democrats (we even have a socialist in our midst) and we are all under the age of 40.
Now, the people you will find in the breakroom? COMPLETE OPPOSITE. The museum is run by some pretty fantastic people and I think they are all pretty great. I know they have bent over backwards for me and done so much to make my life easier. The only big problem? They are religious. And they are republicans. I have learned NOT to get sucked into any political conversation with any of the interpreters that work in the mansion. There was one that even ended with one of the interpreters telling me, very earnestly I might add, That I needed to go ahead and get married and have children soon. She felt that then, my life would be complete. She is on husband number 3.
So anyways,I wandered up there one afternoon because there was rumor that a giant jar of cheez it's had appeared on the table. I wasn't going to miss out on any chance at a free snack. Particularly my favorite snack.
I walked in and grabbed a little styrofoam coffee cup to fill with cheez it's. As I was doing this, I looked at one of the interpreters, who was dutifully reading her bible (I am not kidding) and said to her "I LOVE CHEEZ IT'S!".
She looked up at me and smiled. What came out of her mouth caught me off gaurd. She said to me "I think it is so wonderful that you young people today go to church and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior". She then went on to give me a 20 mintue lecture about how important church was, how in the grand scheme of things that Jesus died for our sins blah-blah-blahdee-blah. Now, I was so confused at this point that I didn't even know what to say back. Plus, I never talk religion at work outside of MY office with MY coworkers that are generally much like me. I think because I once told one of the interpreters that I was Catholic and she tried to convince me to come to her church (Baptist) and join the ranks of those out to save everyone and have them become born-again.
Now, I don't want to offend any one out there. I know that there are some of you who are very religious, and I love you for it. I just want for you all to understand (this is my disclaimer) that it is very personal for me, and it's not something I really feel comfortable discussing with other people. This was just too good to pass up. I had to share this story.
It dawned on me about halfway into her lecture that she thought I said "Jesus" when I had actually said "cheez it's". I was floored. I didn't want to be rude or disrespectful to her, I knew that this was what she believed and she was sharing with me. But after about 20 minutes of it, I needed to get back to work.
I looked at her, smiled and said "I said cheez it's" through a mouthful of those tasty little crackers. Then I went back to my office and giggled for the remainder of the day.

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL...

As many of you know, my mother died on Halloween after a 4 year battle with cancer. I am proud to walk in memory of such a wonderful and loved person in my hometown, and in honor of other members of my community. Please donate!

It started early with me going to the bathroom twice within an hour.  As most of you know I have been pretty stressed out lately, and when I get stressed I puke.  Don't know why, but I do.  Time number two to the bathroom came with me hearing my coworker Chris whisper to my coworker Katie that I was pregnant.  I heard it.  I shouted that I was not from the bathroom.  They laughed at me.  I got offended.  Because I am gulliable and easy to get a rise out of.  This went on.  I have also quit smoking, it's been tough, but I haven't been smoking.  So I guess the combo of me having quit smoking, all of the puking, and being kind of stressed out and emotional made them think it was a possibility.  (it isn't.)
Shortly after this interaction with my coworkers some floor guys came in.  We had to have to floor replaced in my office because it was abestos tiles.  I guess either they got tired of listening to me worry over it or Chris walked a hole in the floor while I was out. 
So, Chris can't be still.  He rolls all over the office in his chair, and managed to roll a wrinkle into the floor with his chair.  The floor guys came in to fix the floor.  Amidst all of this I was talking to Katie and turned towards Chris's desk, only to find one of the floor guys hairey ass-crack right in my face.  I immediately turned around to Katie, trying not to die laughing, and pointed to her.  She cried until he left, then she started to laugh.
So, the housekeeping kid just came in.  He visits us about twice a week and is a sweet 17 year old mexican kid I like to call brown.  Because he is brown.  And no, it does not offend him.  They informed him I was pregnant.  I of course shouted that I was not pregnant.  BECAUSE I AM NOT PREGNANT.  And If I am pregnant, we all had better start going to church. 
Then, Chris, because he has the attention span of a 10 year old with ADHD, decided that he like Brown's ringtone and looked up the video on You tube.  What's this boats and hos shit?
And boy am I glad that the remainder of my week after work will be spent with two dogs that would rather be outside.

I have never missed anyone today like I missed my mom. She was so good and sweet. The woman your mother wished you had married. My father is so brokenhearted. He is so much more hurt by this than my brother or I. And she was our whole life. How do we go forward without her? I feel so incomplete without her.

Empty

I Can never fill such big shoes. I am too small.

So, we had to put Mom back in the hospital again today.  She had chemo on Monday and seemed okay for a day, but this morning she couldn't tell us what was wrong and could only answer "yes" and "okay" to ALL questions asked, some questions required a bit more than that.  She has acidosis again, which means the acids and bases in her body are off balance.  She has too much acid.  It's really hard on her kidneys and her heart. 

So, say a prayer for my Momma.

I don't know if I will be around Nashville for the big Halloween Bash or not, it all kind of depends on what happens here.  It's been a tough road so far, so I would feel really guilty if I left and anything happened while I was gone.

Sorry I am not calling everyone, but I am tired and need some rest.

Love to you all.  Thank you for the love and support!

So there's more money on the paycheck this week, which is PHENOMENAL!  Thanks National Endowment for the Humanities!  Oh, and all of you taxpayers, you pay my salary.

We have two new people coming into the lab to work with me, which means over the next few weeks we have to completely diassemble the lab and set it up different.  Trying to fit two more people in there right now would NEVER work. 

I turn 33 in 27 days my peeps!  Don't forget we are having a party at 1105 Holly on June 21st!  All are invited!  We will post an event invite later.

I'll be off to Monticello again next month, hopefully during the hottest most miserable part of the summer here.  Since Monticello is on top of a mountain, it might be more comfortable up there.  This time I only go for a week as opposed to a month like last year.  My two co-workers will spend a month there.

I have been spending a lot of time at the gym and I feel fantastic.  I am trying to quit smoking again.  (yes, again)  I quit biting my nails, to really there is no reason I can't quit smoking.  The nail biting thing was pretty random I didn't even realize I had done it.

Mom had a CT scan yesterday and there is NO SIGN OF CANCER ANYWHERE IN HER BODY!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!  And she got herself a new car.  Yay MOMMA!!!!  July is the one year mark for mom being cancer free.  Everyone keep her in your prayers!  We all know how awesome Momma Nancy is!

So that's my update, because I have been pretty busy for all of you non-nashvillians.

Oh, Bonaroo is in two weeks.  Who's going?  I'm going with my archaeologist friends, and as far as camping is concerned, the more the merrier--I think there are about 8 of us already-but if anyone wants to ride with me, hollah!

Love you everyone!

1. I have been biting my fingernails for as long as I can remember, but recently, I quit.  I didn't even realize I had until I broke a nail.

2.  I am one of the most loyal friends one could ask for.  But you have to earn my trust.

3.  I may seem like a handful, and brave, but really I am extremely sensitive.

4.  I am an archaeologist, and I am more in love with my job than I have ever been with a man.

5.  Hair in the shower drain not only grosses me out, but it really pisses me off.

6.  I can speak arabic.  I took two years of it in college.

7.  I can't stand to be told what to do.

8.  I love coffee, but it always makes my stomach hurt.

9.  On any given day at any given time, I would rather be outside.

10.  I have a crush on someone I have never met.

11.  My room is always messy,  even after I clean it.

12.  I think my parents are the coolest people on the face of the planet.  I even did when I was a teenager.

13.  I love to sing.  I wish I was a famous singer.  But I am afraid of microphones.

14.  My younger brother is a foot taller than me and can beat my ass.  I said that would never happen, and then one day it did.

15.  I miss my grandparents.  I lost the three I had left all in one year.

16.  I love building sandcastles when I go to the beach.  Still.  I am 32.

17.  I want kids, but I am afraid to have a relationship because I am afraid I'll get hurt.  I always do.

18.  I love really expensive white wine. 

19.  I am a really good cook, even though I hardly ever cook.

20.  I am awesome.

Serioulsy.  You never know whose hands your stuff might fall into.  And let me say, there are some crazy ass fucknuts (right Les?) out there.  REALLY crazy.  Make sure you have all of your clothes, journals, pictures, anything of any value to you. 

And I will also say this- over the last couple of weeks, I have dealt with some people who have really made me question thier sanity.  Big time.

Another thing.  If you are going to go somewhere that's not all that close to your house to hang out with someone, don't go alone.  You never know what kind of retarded ass situation you might wind up in.  Good advice from Nina G.  If you have your friends with you, the trip home is a lot less painful and scary.

Have an awesome week everyone--I am going to the gym.

I want to be able to let go of all of my fears of being hurt. 

I want to know that I am capable of loving someone.

I want to know that I am worthy of love.

I want for someone to sit with me at the end of the day and talk with me.

I want to let my walls down.

I want to be able to trust.

I want to let go of the past.

I want desparately to forgive those of you who have damaged my heart so badly.  I don't think you really meant to, but you did.

I want to stop hiding behind these walls I have built.  They are only making me lonely.

I want to share my life with someone.

I want to breathe easy.

I want to feel better after I finish crying.  To be done.

I am just waiting now.