Some days I really feel like a genius, and that the whole world should ask me for advice. This has not been one of those weeks. For example, a few days ago, I realized I forgot to pay my car insurance (don't tell my mom!). For those of you who have never had to pay car insurance, you think, oh what's the big deal? Well I am here to tell you it's a huge flippin deal, and you don't want to forget that! So I spent a good hour trying to take care of it and all the while throwing a pity party for myself to my wonderful fiance. I think he is starting to see that I am possibly a little scatter brained? Maybe just a little?

So anyways, I am driving home and thinking to my self, "Self, why are you such an idiot?" And it occurs to me that God has to keep me humble somehow, right? I mean I am so great at everything else, this must be His humbling tactic! Ok, so I missed the point at first, but really, we all have thorns in our flesh, and they keep us humble when we start to think that maybe we have this life all figured out.

I started reading in 2 Corinthians and noticed the verse "Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up" When I start thinking that I know a lot of stuff about life or about God, then all I am doing is swelling, and getting puffy, kind of like a marshmallow. I am not filled with what matters, just a bunch of hot air. But when I love God and I love His people, then, Paul says, God will know me. Isn't is better to be known by God, than to think that I know Him?

But then I realized what Jesus said about the people who He knows. They are the ones who feed the hungry, cloth the naked, visit those in jail, and expend themselves on the poor. I'm not sure that's me. So maybe I need to work on the Loving God part a lot more, and stop being so concerned about the "knowledge" part. It seems that's whats more important to God in the long run.

Here's the lyrics to a song that I love, but that breaks my heart. Because I am the rich young ruler. I want to follow Jesus, but do I want to sell it all? I don't know... I am caught in between wanting to get rid of all of this junk in my life and giving it away, or keeping just enough to still fit into society. Which way do I go, and how do I balance it? I have no idea!


Derek Webb Rich Young Ruler Lyrics
(vs. 1)
poverty is so hard to see
when it's only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we're all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus' neighborhood
where he's hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can't give me

(vs. 2)
so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what's the deal
i don't sleep around and i don't steal
i want the things you just can't give me

(bridge)
because what you do to the least of these
my brother's, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can't give me

"We love the things we love for what they are."
--Robert Frost

I believe this quote. It means we don't love things, or people, for what they can do for us, for what we gain from them, but simply for who they are. But I have to change it a little. I think I would add "... and for what they will become." I don't just see the here-and-now in people. I see in them the potential for where they will be one day and how God will have molded them, and what a reflection of His Glory they will be. I love that part of a person, because that points me straight to God, their reason for being. But ultimately, I love people just out of the nature of who they are, not so much what they can do, and I think if we loved people like that more often, this world would be a much better place, and we would all feel a lot more loved. I hope if you read this, you are reminded of someone who loves you simply for who you are, and ultimately that our Father is the only one who really and trully can love us completely in that way.

I want to share a few thoughts on why I think love is such a powerful thing.The other day I was walking to class and thinking about a good friend of mine who is really struggling with some things, but she is having such a hard time getting through it because she hasn't ever really learned to believe in herself. I know we all hear from the time we're kids that we can be anything we want to if we just believe in ourselves, and I think there is some truth in that. The problem is that this world a lot of times doesn't tell us what that means. We have parents that don't show us they love us, friends that stab us in the back, churches that reject people that don't fit the perfect mold; then there's gangs that accept anyone that will join in with them, businesses that reward you as you are benefitting them, and athletes who gain world-wide recognition for running faster than everyone else. People are often valued by what they can contribute, not just who they are. So here's where the power of love comes in (anyone remember that amazing Celine Dion song? Wow that's a good one...).When we are really loved by someone, whether a parent, a friend, a significant other, a stranger, then maybe we see the deep, dark parts of ourselves that we don't really like, but we know that the person we are loved by sees past all that junk and sees something of value in us anyways, and they cherish us. They simply care, even if you have absolutely nothing to give back in return. Isn't that what we all need to hear? This is why I think the love of God must be the most important thing in the world. Because when we realize we are loved by the One who created us, who is so much bigger and more powerful, and is completely perfect, then we are awestruck at the idea that He would see something so great in us to love. So I believe it is that amazing power that gives us the confidence in ourselves to do anything we can think to achieve. Because we know that even if we mess up, if it's not perfect, if we just can't get it right, there is something in us that will never lose value. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, or maybe I have just been radically changed by the knowledge of the Love of God. I just wanted to share in hopes that if you see yourself as being valueless, you aren't. You are loved, and there is great power in that. And if you feel loved by no one else in the world, I'll love you and help you find the One's whose love surpasses all understanding. Take care guys!