We never set out to find the whitest song ever. Perhaps it was meant to find us...

Now that we just blew your fuckin' mind, the whitest song ever is...

"Sleeping Bag"
-ZZ Top

All of you research efforts contributed to the search. An instant message tip was sent to us by Jennifur Brandt from Los Angeles, CA. After reviewing the song, it was in fact the real deal honky shit. We asked Jennifur to make a brief statement:

Sleeping Bag by ZZ Top makes me think of my nighmare that a van dri"ving kidnapper will force me to go camping with him in Yosemite and he'll play this song for me on a dirty old yellow '80s Sony Sports radio, and i'll proceed to barf baked beans all over.

...and that he has a beard covered in crumbs.

...a pointy ZZ Top beard (can i stop now?)

You can do whatever you want. You're white!

Unless Ryan Seacrest teams up with Savage Garden or a convincing objection is properly filed, "Sleeping Bag" is the whitest song ever.

And that's the double truth, Ruth.

This is not a bit.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday on FREE-FM.
Danny Bonaduce and Jackie Clarke.

7pm-11pm

Again, NOT a bit.

..>

One time I did Peyote and David Lee Roth became our station's morning talent...

 

Oh wait. Hmm.

 

But there was this one time when I drank way too much Absinthe. I had a 2 hour long conversation with my mini-blinds about Lenny Kravitz being undeniably sexy. We both agreed.

 

And I created a sitcom called Strokin' Different about 2 white brothers (William and Arnis) adopted by an old black father (Dr. Mummond) that lives in the ghetto of Harlem. Lest we forget the token "older daughter" who works the streets. And the drug dealing bully at school, "the Cootch". Oh... for thrills William and Arnis are goth/emo kids.

 

Pure gold.

 

Love,

 

Mark Chernoff

UCB Theatre 4/20 Show

Come celebrate everything about weed with a night of sketches written by NYC's best comedians, who were high.

So, get blazed and come see the show.

Happy, 4/20 man!

Featuring:
Hot Sauce
John Gemberling
Neil Casey
LeMar Mclean
John Flynn
Jackie Clarke
Andy Rocco
Chuck Dauble
John Reynolds
Anthony Atamanuik
Rob Lathan
Johnny Conroy
and many more.

ONLY $5!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU FOR DOING THIS!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/ers/152742911.html

I'm serious - we have a scroll down problem AGAIN!

Here are some suggested names:

Direct-to-DVD Jolie
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Seriously! PLEASE DON'T SCROLL!
But do it.

take a look

http://www.empiresq.com/

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