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joelio

Last Updated: 7/9/2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Swinger
Age: 26
Sign: Leo

City: Seattle
State: WASHINGTON
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/11/2005

Blog Archive

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08 Jan 08 Tuesday

king of carrot flowers video
Category: Music

love it ;-P

i'm just working on laying out my company's .html newsletter. hurray! i knew this english degree wasn't worth a damn compared to my mad compUt0r skillz. word. working from home is awesome.

this video just struck a chord with me on the sappy lovey level (not to be consufed with the sloppy dovey bevel, an entirely different thing altogether). i'm bored but i gotta keep working le sigh :P

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29 Dec 07 Saturday

are you still breating?

does your breath still rasp?
clasping air through a
respirator--- can you even
touch this sensation, the air
of respiration, or are your lips

blue dead cold like how your
soul must feel. do you breath
while you crawl through these
ducts as all the ventilation

howls shrill screams and then,
slowly, does silence creeps into
your inner ear and have you found
there's that absence of sound from

whoever stopped your inhalation--
the airway to your soul--
don't you know the difference between elation
and exhaltation, between the part and the whole?

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25 Dec 07 Tuesday

how to trap santa
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-trap-santa

merry xmas everyone

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15 Dec 07 Saturday

shameless friend blog plug
Category: Blogging

http://www.worldofwarcraftisgay.com/

you heard it here first folks.

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06 Dec 07 Thursday

it’s the end of the world as we know it
Category: Life

and i feel fine.

things are changing in my life right now:

*i'm going on a diet (well in 2 days i start)
* i exercise (i ran for half an hour and did an hour of yoga and meditation yesterday)
*i'm looking at buying my first condo (i have a GREAT agent if you need some help in that area)
*i'm going to start originating my own loans (looking at buying or refinancing? let me help you work a mortgage into your overall financial plan.)

i think my life is about to change radically for the good. it's amazing the support i'm getting from my friends right now--thanks to everyone who believes in me--you know who you are and it really means a lot.

also a shout out to my sister for being so damn cool. you go jess. hang in there college is just around the corner.

ok time to play some wow. shut it. =P

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01 Dec 07 Saturday

and proud...
Category: Quiz/Survey

Your Score --> --> --> -->: True Ethical Slut

Whoa! You scored 36 Sluttiness Points and 34 Ethics Points! Interesting...

Doesn--t sex just kick ass? You love it and your friends love it and your playmates love it. Sex is that overflowing bowl of ice cream you just have to share with the world. Because maybe, just maybe, if we can get more happy good sex out into the world, we can make it a happier place for everyone in it. You know how to communicate about what you want and how to listen to your partner--s desires. You even use your turn signals. You--re just an all around good person. You are one of the beautiful people.

--> --> --> -->GRAPHS My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

..>..>..>..>

..>..>..>..>
--> --> --> --> You scored higher than 0% on --> --> --> --> Sluttiness
..>..>..>..>

..>..>..>..>
--> --> --> --> You scored higher than
0% on --> --> --> --> Ethics

~~read the book:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut ~~

~~take the quiz: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=15915361276329353042~~

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01 Dec 07 Saturday

what i do

i sell mortgages like dope rhymes
man i sold your mother 3 subprimes
when i roll up in my mortgage mobile
baby you just gotta feel
the golden flow that i don't know
how to go so low
on my dope ass interest rate mojo
and dontcha know i can't get beat
at that whacked rate racket
i'll take the leading competitor's
rate and bitch
slap
it *smack the back of my hand hard*

but really it's about home loans
and getting people home and
isn't that
what i try to do
when i sit here and flow:
and now i know
when i work and go--
i try to get people home--
at my job and with my pen
and
when i write.

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30 Nov 07 Friday

paid

sick leave is fun. except for the sick part.

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19 Nov 07 Monday

blog readablity
Category: Blogging

this is a fun little tool (being the english nerd i am) that will test your blog/myspace/facebook's reading level. sadly, i think i'm just talking down to my audience: (JK)

cash advance

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09 Nov 07 Friday

smoke
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

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14 Sep 07 Friday

norwegian hydro

hell yeah i was kinda bummed though when "norwegian hydro" turned out to be about a train though. i mean... sheesh :P

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13 Sep 07 Thursday

milkshake translations

Original:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
and they're like, "It's better than yours"
Damn right, it's better than yours
I could teach you, but I'd have to charge

Old English:
Mine milkshake bringeth all yon gentlefolk to mine yard
and lo they reply " 'Tis better than thine...
"Verily, 'tis better than thine!"
I could apprentice thee, but I wouldst levy a fee

Literal:
My whipped iced dairy drink brings the attentions of many males to my place of residence and/or employment,
and they declare that its quality far surpasses that of yours.
Absolutely, it far surpasses yours.
I could convey to you the proverbial recipe, but I would have to demand compensation.

Limerick:
Through stereophonic tubes
Comes a girl rapping mixes and grooves
and though you would think
Her topic was iced drink
It's really all about her boobs

Haiku:
Boys, drawn to my yard
Their words in chorus singing
Your milkshake loses

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07 Aug 07 Tuesday

if ww2 were an mmorpg

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss<br> tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

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28 Jul 07 Saturday

who ya gonna call?

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25 Jul 07 Wednesday

explode

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