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By Kevin Powell

 

I received a very distressing email a few days back, from someone who
informed me that a long-time friend and colleague of mine had had a
mini-stroke. I was stunned because this friend, a Black man just barely 40
like myself, holds a black belt in the martial arts, works out religiously,
and dating back twenty years, when we both were then members of the Nation
of Islam, he has always been very conscience of the food he puts into his
body. In fact he is a vegetarian. When I called my friend on his cellphone,
he was lying in a hospital bed. He sounded terrible, groggy, and, well, very
sad. My friend is an amazing educator, one of the best I¹ve encountered, one
who worked his way up from being a teacher to an in-demand principal in a
very short amount of time. And because there are so few Black male
principals in the New York City area‹or across America, for that matter‹my
friend not only carried the burden of overseeing an entire school, but of
being a beacon of hope to students, parents, and a community.


³It was stress,² he muttered to me before I could ask him what happened. The
stress of his job, the stress of being a father and a grandfather at a very
young age, of having been married and separated, of being a Black male in
America. Unfortunately, I know of about ten Black males in the past six
months alone, ranging in age from 30something to 70something, who¹ve all
died of completely preventable ailments. One colleague, a producer at a
major television network, also suffered a stroke, then a heart attack, and
died, in his mid30s. Another, a 60something husband, father, church leader,
entrepreneur, homeowner, and all around community man, was told by his
doctor, at least a year before he died, that if he stopped drinking alcohol,
smoking cigarettes, and using drugs, he would live. Stubborn to a fault,
this man did not stop, could not stop, and his shriveled up body in a casket
betrayed the power and strength he once wielded like a plate of armor.

 

Why, you might wonder, would someone in his position drink, smoke, and use
drugs? I think it undeniable that while America is not the country it once
was, thanks in great part to the Civil Rights Movement, the harsh reality is
that racism still exists, on every level, and it affects us Black males, on
every level. I am talking physically, spiritually, and emotionally. I am
talking about younger Black males and older Black males; working-class Black
males and professional Black males; famous Black males and anonymous Black
males; Black males with college degrees and Black males who do not even have
a G.E.D.

 

So what winds up happening is the constant search for an outlet, often a
destructive and self-sabotaging one, to ease the pain and hurt of the daily
weekly monthly yearly assaults we feel are launched on our psyches, on our
souls, on our bodies. Those assaults can take the form of police harassment
or brutality. Or not being able to find a job no matter how qualified one is
to work. Or being wrongly accused of a crime. Or having paid your debt to
society via prison time and no one‹no one‹being open to employing you for
even the most minimal of jobs. Or never quite feeling you¹ve made it, no
matter how wildly successful your life has been, materially, because there
is always the sinking feeling, lurking right there in the shadows, that it
can be lost or taken away without a moment¹s notice. Or the gaping hole you
feel because the women in your life simply do not respect you or your very
difficult struggles to be a man, to be a whole human being. And the beat
goes on and on‹

 

That is precisely what happened to me, over a decade ago, when I was fired
from Vibe magazine. Depressed, filled with anxiety and a smoldering rage, I
contemplated suicide (I felt like a miserable failure), I turned to alcohol
and it literally became my best friend. It got me through the days I could
not look myself in the mirror, and it helped me to go to sleep at night. I
do not drink, today, and never will again, but I overstand why Black males
in America do what we do. But after years of crisscrossing America doing
speeches, workshops, conferences, etc., on Black males; after writing a book
(Who¹s Gonna Take The Weight? Manhood, Race, and Power in America) about
manhood, it has become abundantly clear to me that so many of us Black males
simply do not know how to take care of ourselves, holistically, in the face
of the multiple challenges we confront every single day.

 

My suggestion is that we first begin to view our lives from the standpoint
of good health versus bad health. Good health means we become active
participants in taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional selves.
Bad health means we continue to ignore our physical, mental, and emotional
selves and continue to engage in behavior (no exercise, terrible diets,
violence, alcohol, nicotine, drug, or sex addictions) that ultimately will,
over time, damage and destroy our lives. Here is what I strongly recommend
Black males think about in terms of our health, holistically:

 

 

I.     Taking Care of Your Physical Health

We need to begin with listening and asking the right questions of our family
members. Does your family, for example, have a history of diabetes, of
high-blood pressure and heart attacks? It is critical that you learn your
family health history as soon as possible, especially the history of the
Black males in your family.

 

Next, very important that you make a conscious decision to change your diet.
What we put into our bodies has so much to do with our physical health, with
how we feel about ourselves over time. One of the questions I routinely ask
Black male audiences is this: How many of you are drug addicts? Usually I
get uneasy laughter, silence, perplexed stares. But then I take it a step
further: If you cannot go ONE DAY without sugar, caffeine (soda or coffee),
fast foods, nicotine, marijuana (or some other kind of drug), or sex (yes,
if you cannot live without having sex all the time, then you do have a
problem, an addiction), then you are, in fact, ³a drug addict.² And
naturally the hardest thing for any of us to do is to stop or slow down
things that we¹ve come to like, things that taste good to us, things that
make us feel good. But we should know that consuming large amounts of sugar
over time leads to diabetes. We should also know that consuming large
amounts of caffeine over time leads to heart problems, among other possible
ailments. And having sex with multiple partners, in the age of AIDS and the
re-emergence of other sexually transmitted diseases, can be catastrophic to
your health (not to mention that every time you have sex with someone you
are also having sex with everyone that person has ever been with, and vice
versa). We, including me, have all engaged in one or more of these
debilitating activities.

 

But if you can struggle to change your behavior around your diet, to keep
your weight at a reasonable level, to avoid the extreme obesity which is at
an all-time high in America (I have never seen so many younger and older
Black males so far overweight and struggling just to climb flights of stairs
or to walk down a street), then the other steps will be that much easier:

 

€ Regular exercise (even if it is just walking 15 minutes a day, or biking,
or rollerblading, or doing push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks at home 3-4
times each week)

 

€ Creating a diet for yourself where you actually think about what is in the
food you are putting into your body (eating healthier does not mean you have
to spend a lot of money on food; it simply means you think more about
proteins and vitamins, think more about the kind of food you eat OR change
the food you eat); either surround yourself with other folks who are also
trying to live better lives, physically, or you become the example for
others, to inspire them to also cease with the fast foods, the cigarette
smoking, the binge drinking, the irresponsible sexual patterns.

 

We as Black males need to view ourselves as soldiers in a constant state of
war. Either we are going to prepare ourselves physically for battle, and be
able to ward off the attacks from various angles. Or we are going to be
underdeveloped soldiers who are more likely to be wounded, more likely to be
prone to various forms of attack.

 

 

 

II.   Moving Toward Mental Wellness

In my work I have come to find that it is very difficult for us males to
open up about what hurts us. Think about the film Antwoine Fischer. The
title character had survived a childhood of neglect and sexual abuse only to
become an adult who could not talk about his lingering emotional injuries,
could not fully open up to a woman he had deep affections for. And when he
went to counseling, there was that wall of pain built by the childhood him
to protect the adult him. By the time the Antwoine Fischer movie ended, I
sat in the back of the theater with hoodie on my head ballin¹ like a baby. I
remember hearing many brothers saying they were not going to shed tears when
they saw that film because they were told that that was what was going to
happen. Just to make that sort of proclamation, in advance, about the
unwillingness to show real emotions is part of the problem with so many of
us. In this society we¹ve been taught that males do not cry, do not express
raw feelings, do not let others know when we are hurt or in pain, physically
or emotionally, or both. That manhood is about cockiness, domination,
bravado, ³manning up² (perhaps one of the worst terms ever created) and,
sadly for many of us, violence.

 

These are things I have had to grapple with in my own life journey. I was
born into a household and a community steeped in physical, emotional, and
verbal violence, and that become a part of my being. I got hurt again and
again as a child, and I eventually hurt others as an adult. Only through the
grace of a higher power and nearly two decades of therapy have I been able
to not only think about my past with a relatively clear head, but to take
the necessary steps to begin to get past that kind of mental unwellness once
and for all.

 

But the first step is to take ownership of one¹s life. Again, racism is a
daily constant for the Black male. But in the face of that harsh reality, we
need to ask what mental illnesses have we picked up along our life journeys
that stunt our emotional growth, our emotional well-being? For some of us,
it is violence, against ourselves, against other males, against women and
girls. For others, it is constant stress and anxiety. For others it is
sparring matches with depression. Still others have low self-esteem and
little or no expectations for our lives. And then there are those who
consistently think of taking their lives, who think of suicide on a regular.
And please be clear that there are two forms of suicide: the quick kind
where you end your life with a gun as more than a few Black males I know
have done this decade. Then there are those of us who smoke and drink and
drug ourselves into what I call ³slow suicide.²

 

So a few basic steps toward mental wellness:

 

€ Own your past, your mistakes, your backwardness (whatever it is), and your
life

€ Create a space in your mind for forgiving yourself and for forgiving
others, no matter what has happened to you. For example, in my short
lifetime I felt the mighty void of my father completely abandoning my mother
and I, and I had to also deal with my mother taking out on me, physically
and emotionally, the hurt she felt because of my father¹s neglect and
absence. I cannot begin to tell you how many years I carried around a deep
resentment toward them both, and how much that resentment prevented me from
being in healthy relationships with a Black woman, or strong friendships
with Black males. We are not going to go forward in our lives as long as we
continue to hold on to the hurts of the past. Tied to self-forgiveness and
forgiveness of others is the word love. If you truly are trying to love
yourself, truly trying to be a different kind of human being, truly trying
to be a different kind of Black man, you cannot continue to hold on to
things that have previously done damage to your mind, to your spirit.
Self-love and love have got to become twin pillars in your life. If that
does not become manifest, then you will be stuck in the same emotional space
the rest of your life.

 

€ Seek counseling or therapy in some form. This could be a traditional
counselor or therapist. Or it could be someone older or wiser, or both, you
can simply talk with freely, who will not judge or condemn you, or seek to
convert you to their religion or political philosophy. Their role is simply
to be a supportive ear and shoulder for you to unload in a healthy manner,
and without censorship. Counseling or therapy can also mean joining or
starting a support network of Black males who need a safe space to talk
about their lives. For example, I produced a Black male national conference
in Brooklyn, New York, not long ago, which was attended by about 3000 over
three days, and as follow-up we created something we call Black Male
Empowerment Workshops. Each first Monday of each month, also in Brooklyn,
dozens of brothers get together to workshop on a particular issue (What is
Manhood? How to Become Financially Empowered? etc.), while also sharing
parts of our lives with each other. Some Black males have never talked about
themselves, about their lives, and feel they are out here alone. You will be
if you do not learn to open up and talk and share.

 

€ Remove yourself from or limit the time you spend in environments or with
individuals or groups that bring you a great deal of stress, anxiety,
tension, anger, or resentment. This is a difficult one, because that reality
might include a job or career, it might be a social circle, it might be a
relationship. But one saying that has stuck with me the past few years is
this: ³My happiness is not negotiable.² This means that I cannot, and will
not, allow myself to linger in a job or career that is killing me slowly,
nor will I be, ever again, in any kind of relationship (be it a friendship,
a business relationship, or a loveship with a Black woman) that is more
negative than positive, that brings me more grief than happiness.

 

€ BE VERY CLEAR THAT ANY FORM OF VIOLENCE is a sign of emotional
instability, of not being mentally well. I have been guilty, in my own life,
of violence against males and females, and it is the reason why, these days,
I speak out against all forms of violence. Enough is enough. Let us be blunt
and clear about this: Black self-hatred leads us to commit violence against
other Black males, and against Black women and girls. And the violence
against Black women and girls, at our hands, is completely out of control.
Just scan the newspapers in any major city or small town, and there are
countless stories, month to month, of Black males who are terrorizing,
wounding, and killing Black females. It was not always like this, not this
scale of violence and hatred towards women and girls. Many of us brothers
simply are not well in the head, as we say, and take our anger and
frustrations and hurts out on our female counterparts. Indeed, I say to
Black males, younger ones and older ones alike, that even if you are not the
kind of Black male who would ever curse a Black female, hit or strike a
Black female, rape a Black female, abuse a Black female sexually, or, God
forbid, murder a Black female, if you have male counterparts around you who
do any of the things I just listed and you say nothing at all, then you, we,
are just as guilty.

 

€ Create new definitions for Black manhood which are emotionally sound and
progressive. This takes vision and courage. And it might mean having to go
against the grain of so-called normal male behavior at times. What do I
mean? We need definitions of Black manhood that are rooted in respect for
some higher power or powers, in self-love and love, in a respect for the
humanity of Black women and girls; those definitions also need to be rooted
in nonviolence, in what Dr. King called a dangerous kind of selflessness, in
a lack of ego and competition, in an understanding that it is more important
to be giving, noncompetitive, and spiritual, than greedy, ego-driven, and
materialistic.

 

Lastly, an emotionally healthy Black male is the brother who actually
strives to be a whole being. Degrees, money, status, professional
affiliations, fame, none of that can take the place of a Black male who
actually works on his emotional state every single day of his life. It ain¹t
easy, as 2Pac once rapped, but life ain¹t easy, no one ever said it would
be. And I feel we really have no other choice but to take care of our
emotional health before it is too late.

 

 

III.  Creating A Spiritual Foundation

I think many of us are clear that there is a difference between religion and
spirituality. In my lifetime I have been a Christian, then a Muslim, and now
I am a Christian again. While I am very respectful of every faith, and am
certainly appreciative of my various religious experiences, I am very clear
that anyone can be religious, but not everyone is spiritual. What, then, do
I mean by ³creating a spiritual foundation?² Here are some key areas we can
work on and or think about:

 

€ Believe in something or some things greater than you. To me it does not
matter what you call that higher power or powers, that life force or forces.
But given the world that we live in as Black males, I personally think it
foolish and a sure path to a life without any structure, any boundaries, if
we do not have something to anchor us. With a structure, with a set of
spiritual or moral boundaries, we come to understand that there are certain
types of behavior we simply should not be engaging in. Just look at our own
poor judgements, or the trouble famous Black males like O.J. Simpson,
Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, Kobe Bryant, Mike Tyson, and far too many others
have gotten into the past few years. Yes, we are mad clear racism is real,
which means any time a Black male does something, anything, he becomes the
poster child for that particular bad behavior. But, by the same token, we¹ve
got to become so spiritually grounded that it becomes less and less likely
that we will give folks the rope, the noose, to hang us with. Or, as Dr.
William Howard, pastor of Bethany Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey, said
to me after I got into a very dumb fight in a New York City club a few years
back: ³We are going to make mistakes. That is life. But it is time to start
making new mistakes, not the same old ones.²

 

€ Spirituality is the consistency of behavior, or the struggle to be
consistent in every aspect of our lives. This is not easy and none of us are
perfect. But we have to strive for better behavior in our lives. God knows I
have made many mistakes in my life, have hurt more than a few people, have
burned more than a few bridges. But in most cases, especially the past
decade or so, I have not only taken ownership of my mistakes but whenever
possible I have apologized to folks I may have hurt in some way. And if
someone has hurt my spirit, I tell them so, because I feel part and parcel
of this creation of a spiritual foundation is unfiltered honesty as often as
possible, even where some folks are not comfortable with that honesty (their
issue, not yours). This honesty, this consistency, can mean so many things.
For example, as someone who often speaks out against patriarchy, against
sexism, against males just blatantly manipulating and abusing Black females,
it would be spiritually hypocritical for me to talk this way, then the
moment the lecture is over attempt to collect as many phone numbers as
possible from the women in the audience. But many of us Black male speakers,
activists, artists, intellectuals, and so-called leaders do exactly that
time and again. That sort of behavior is, in a word, unspiritual.

 

€ Spirituality is about being tested again and again, and how we respond to
those tests. I can say, without question, that the past two years or so have
been two of the most difficult of my life, both professionally and
personally. Sometimes I have responded well to the challenges to my spirit,
and sometimes I have been completely knocked down. The key thing is to get
back up, always, to know that everything happens for a reason, even if it
hurts us at that moment, or for a long period of time. Doubly important is
how we respond or do not respond, spiritually. I will give you an example: I
am presently working with what we call street organization leaders. One of
the street organization leaders told the story of how he and his baby son
and others were sitting on a park bench, one recent summer day, when a rival
street organization member rolled up and aimed a fully loaded gun right at
the group. Three times the young man tried to shoot the crew and three times
the gun jammed. This street organization leader was running with his baby
son in his arms, shielding his child while also awaiting those bullets to
his back that never came. He sees that rival street organization member
nearly every week, but the rival does not even realize this was one of the
heads he was attempting to kill. The street organization leader says it has
taken everything in his power to just let it go, although we know what could
have happened. 

 

Not only is this a tale about being tested, and surviving a very serious
life test, it is about forgiveness on a level many of us could never
understand nor relate to, especially if we are not from the --hood, if we are
not a member of a street organization. But the bigger point, spiritually, is
that no amount of anger, rage, hurt, pain, or a grudge is worth holding on
to. If that street organization leader could experience that kind of test
and come away from it with a deeper understanding of his spiritual path, of
what his calling is on this planet (to be a leader, to put the guns and the
violence down once and for all), then why are you, I, or any of us here?
What purpose does our life serve? Without coming to that purpose, whatever
it is, at some point in our lives, we are forever lost, just out there
floating from day to day, whether we are a brother on the streets, or a
brother on a college campus, or a brother in corporate America. Lost is lost
no matter who or where you are.

 

€ Create or find a spiritual belief system that works for you. It could be
Christianity, it could be Islam, it could be Judaism, it could be Yoruba or
Rastafarianism, it could be Buddhism, or it could be some combination of
various spiritual belief systems. That might mean you create a place, an
altar, in your home where you pray or meditate on a regular basis. It might
mean deciding to pray, meditate, or worship with like-minded people outside
your living space. It should mean nonstop reading, studying, learning about
your particular faith or faiths, and, really, about all faiths, since the
goal should be to grow as a man, as a human being.

 

Finally, at the end of it all, our health and wellness as Black males takes
time and commitment and patience, and acceptance that we are going to make
mistakes, that we are going to fall down, that we are going to fall
backwards. The critical thing is to never stop striving to do differently,
to be differently, to be a new kind of Black male. Think of what Malcolm X
was when he went to prison for seven years, and think about what he became
when he was released from jail. It did not happen overnight, but Malcolm¹s
life is testimony that personal growth and transformation is very real and
possible. But it takes real work and real self-reflection and brutal
honesty. Otherwise, nothing is going to change for us, in my opinion. Sadly,
with so many Black male studies, reports, conferences, think tanks, ad-hoc
committees, etc., all across America, none of those efforts are going to
matter, from this era to the next, from this generation, to the next, from
this century to the next, if we as Black males do not come up with very
simple and basic solutions for surviving, living, and winning. Nor will all
those activities matter if we do not actually become the real and permanent
Black manhood changes, to paraphrase Gandhi, that we need to see in our
communities. For these times, for all the brothers who ain¹t here, and for
all the Black males to come.

 

Kevin Powell, writer and activist, is a Fair Health Journalist Fellow for
the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies, a Phelps Stokes Fund
Senior Fellow, and editor of the forthcoming book, THE BLACK MALE HANDBOOK:
A Blueprint for Surviving, Living, and Winning, which will be published in
2008. He can be reached at kevin@kevinpowell.net.