Okay, for those of you who may think that I'm able to make my entire living in music, I'm about to burst that bubble. I can't. Yet. I'm working steadily toward that eventuality, but I'm not there . . . yet.

In the meantime, I also have several 'temp' jobs. It was as I was arriving at one of those jobs earlier this evening - at Richland Country Club - that I saw the sign, "ASCAP Awards". Oh, this is going to be interesting, I thought. I've been an ASCAP member for about 29 years now. This evening, it was my lot in life to serve my fellow members.

Now, I should hasten to explain that I really don't have a problem with the task of serving. Treating someone with kindness and thoughtfulness in a professional manner, so that they have an enjoyable experience. I actually take pride in trying to do that well. (And I happen to be one of the better banquet servers in town - thank you very much!)

It is a bit odd, though, to be in a room of peers and be serving - literally - in a different capacity. It turned out to be the ASCAP Christian Music Awards, which made it less of an issue, since I don't write Christian music at all anyway . . . And it wasn't that it was 'depressing' or anything like that . . . just odd.

In addition to serving Amy Grant, whom I've served before (and frankly, would be happy to serve in any capacity . . . anytime . . . jk Vince!) I also served a young gent who co-wrote a current hit song, which I happen to like a lot. At one point, I congratulated him, and he just looked at me with a blank expression - not bad, just 'blank' . He seems like a nice enough guy - 'cherubic' in fact, would be the best word I can use to describe him. He had no idea who I am, of course, or what I do. What I REALLY do . . .

I kept thinking how odd it is . . . here I've been an ASCAP member for 29 years, and this youngster is most assuredly not even 29 years of age yet! Good for him! Odd for me . . . I don't begrudge him his success, nor do I wallow in self-pity for my lack of BIG SUCCESS . . . Hey, I enjoy the song that he helped create, and I've not given up on the prospect that I TOO will someday see that kind of success.

The strange feeling was that I KNEW that I 'fit in' with this crowd (at least as a songwriter and artist - NOT as to genre . . .), but THEY had no idea! It was kind of like being invisible at a party of friends. This was an awards show, so it was the best of this genre that were there. I don't hold myself below or behind anyone as a singer/songwriter. I'm pretty confident. So, I guess it was just weird that THEY didn't know that I'm just as good as they are . . . let alone that I write at all!

Again, the genre isn't one that I 'partake' in, so I don't expect to ever win those particular awards. But someday, I fully hope to be at some similar awards show - and be holding my own little trophies!

You can be sure that when I'm there, I'll be paying attention to the servers!

I had a great day Saturday! First, it was an awesome day for a drive . . . warm and sunny. Took a good friend along with me, shotgun. (Thankfully, 'cause it's always good to have assistance when I'm 'working'). So, it was enjoyable 'right out of the gate'. Put me in a good mood.

I drove out to Jamestown, TN for an interview on WDEB . . . the DJ, Gary Clark was quite nice and the interview went well. I got to play three songs live on the radio, and Gary invited me to come back sometime "during the week, and we'll let you play all night long . . ." That sounds pretty good! He said that they've been playing some of my songs - which ALSO sounds pretty good. WDEB broadcasts simultaneously on 103.9 FM and 1500 AM, also on cable. Thanks for the support, Gary!

Then, it was on to Byrdstown, TN . . . but not before stopping into a very cool general store (complete with wooden indians on the front porch) for homemade fudge (Maple Nut, thank you very much) and ice cream (okay, I know . . . my diet sucks!). I think that some of life's best times are these kind of brief moments. The simple things in life are the best! And of course, any time I get to relax a little, I'm a happy camper . . .

We made it to The Dixie Cafe in good time and were greeted warmly by the locals. I love these small towns, and the people I find in them. When they all fell into silence for the soundcheck and stared at me, I knew it was gonna be a fun show. (Call me crazy, but I enjoy a large audience who are paying attention to me!) And these folks did not dissappoint . . . they were very responsive and they enjoyed my music. I can't ask for more than that . . . but wait . . . there WAS MORE . . . I even got booked for another show . . . at an Arts Festival (the "Fresh Air Arts Festival" on June 20th) - thanks to Alice, a very nice woman in the Dixie Cafe audience. These good folks bought a bunch of my CDs and tipped generously. The food was even excellent! Johnny (the owner) was great, and I'm booked back on August 22nd.

If every day was like Saturday was . . . life would be pretty darn good!

The good news is, that it CAN be . . . And it's interesting to ponder how the simple things (the weather, being with a good friend, homemade fudge) relate to the success of the rest of the day. Those simple things certainly contributed to my mood/attitude/energy . . . and THAT must have affected the rest of the day (interview/performance). So, what can I do toward making every day like my very enjoyable Saturday? Well . . . seems to me that I can be aware of my mood/attitude/energy and keep THOSE things positive, so that the 'cycle' that is, after all, life, stands a much better chance of ALSO being positive. (I'm also not ignoring all the hard work that went into scheduling those things and the press release which led to the good turnout.) So, "hard work and a positive attitude" . . . hmmmm . . . who woulda thunk it?

Email . . . MySpace . . . Facebook . . . Twitter . . . Blogger . . . YouTube . . . job . . . errands . . . responsibilities . . . play (wait - what's that?)

These days we're all so busy! I know that I'm CRAZY busy . . . and I know that I'm not alone.

And it's sad to admit, but I've reached a point in life that my biggest fantasy in bed is a good night's sleep! (It never seems to happen)

And are all these new 'tools' to keep us 'connected' . . . the social networking sites . . . are they working? Do they allow us to keep in touch with each other better, or are we all just tied to computers, with our focus on a monitor instead of someone's eyes? BTW, I don't pretend to have the ANSWERS to these questions . . . I just have questions . . . maybe you know?

Another big fantasy would be cloning! Boy could I use about a half-dozen or so clones of myself! 'Cause we could ALL be busy constantly and maybe then I could at least start to feel like I was being productive enough. Maybe I have high expectations? Maybe I just have lots of ambition? I don't know, but I pretty much feel like I'm nowhere close to keeping up with what seems 'absolutely necessary' to do. (Hey, maybe with enough clones, ONE of us could take some time to goof off! ) I've started complaining a lot lately to my good (and better-deserving) friends, about this feeling of being completely overwhelmed. But whining is not pretty, and it doesn't help.

Is it 'perspective' or what? Days seem to be shorter than they used to be . . . I could really use 28 hour days, so that I could be productive for 20 and sleep for 8 (whoohoo! - and fantasy #3 - hmmm) I could swear that days used to be long enough to work a job, get done with necessary tasks, relax for a bit, and then get a decent amount of sleep. Now, it's work, decide what I absolutely MUST do and brush aside all the other "extremely important" tasks, then take a short nap for the night before starting all over again.

I'm really wondering if you might feel the same way?

I'm also feeling the "crunch of time" in a more broad sense - the limitations of our mortal lives. When I stop to think that it's entirely possible that I could have as little as 20 years or so of good healthy life ahead (yeah, yeah . . . I know, any one of us could be 'hit by a truck' tomorrow) and of course, I realize how FAST twenty years passes by . . . well, that's just a very sobering thought. A thought that makes me want to be as productive as possible with the time that I have! (Aha . . . so there you see what is at the source of my crazy drive to be productive!)

Yes, I know that it's "entirely possible" that I could live another FIFTY years too . . . just not as likely. In all likelihood, I'm at least halfway through my life! Again, a sobering thought.

BTW, I'm 47 . . . and about to have a birthday as a matter of fact. What will I do to celebrate my birthday? Interestingly enough - as little as possible!

Just a quick note to let you know that I'll be on Comcast Cable TV Channel 19 in the Nashville, TN area this week.

I'm appearing on a show called "Singer Songwriter Etc.".  It's a half hour show, and I'm appearing on the second half of the show.  I'll be interviewed and sing a couple songs.

The show times are:
5/5/8 - Monday  8:30 pm
5/6/8 - Tuesday  2:30 pm
5/7/8 - Wednesday  9:30 pm
5/8/8 - Thursday  11:00 pm
5/10/8 - Saturday  7:00 pm

Hope that you can catch one of these air-times.  If not, and for those of you out of the area, video will be posted on BlueClover.tv "sometime soon" (i.e. eventually).

Thanks!

- Jeff

Women are Fascinating.  Like a rose in it's thorny bush.  You can appreciate it's beauty from afar, or you can try to get closer to sample it's fragrance. 

If you choose the latter, you're bound to get pricked by it's thorns.  It's just the nature of it.  And just a matter of time. 

I suppose that the thorns are there to protect the flower.  Yet I am a patient gardener . . . there to nurture.  I'm not interested in plucking the flower and watching it wilt and  lose what makes it so beautiful to begin with . . .

But the flower knows no difference and protects against all.

And I, the patient gardener, cannot help but try to enjoy the fragrance up close . . . and so, I will experience the thorns. 

Hey,

I just thought I would share this . . . for fun . . .

I got to dance in Alan Jackson's latest video.

You can see it on CMT.com . . . here's a link:

http://www.cmt.com/videos/alan-jackson/197568/small-town-southern-man.jhtml

Just click on that link, or paste that into your browser . . . or if you'd rather, just go to cmt.com and look under new videos . . .

It's being played on the regular CMT channel also of course . . .

A friend (thank you Marjie!) let me know about auditions for dancers for the video . . . I auditioned and got in . . .

I got to spend the day hanging out with three precious little girls (and their mom, who was my dance partner for the video).  I danced right in front of Alan Jackson over and over . . . cool I guess.  (That didn't make it into the video).

The cuts are so fast in this video that I've had to watch it carefully to find myself and the girls . . . but we are there!

The nine year old, Ashton, in particular is 'featured' . . . she is the girl who runs up to the 'main' couple and cuts in . . . dances with the guy in uniform . . . (she's supposed to be his daughter).

There's one quick glimpse of four girls sitting on a bench.  The first girl on the left is Kendall, a three-year-old who I held for most of the day.  She wanted my attention, and got it.  The third girl is Presley, the middle sister (six years old).  What a cutie!

We spent a lot of time dancing with the girls (because the director asked us to . . .) and dancing around in front of Alan and quickly past the camera . . . taking direction . . . I was real curious to see how it all ended up edited together.  Most of it of course, is edited out . . . but I count about 7 QUICK shots of "me" . . . 

So . . . where am I?

After the second time through the chorus, look for the solid bright blue shirt. In fact, the first shot of me is just my left side/shoulder and then a very quick glimpse of part of my head.  Right after that are a couple quick shots of me spinning my partner and smiling.  Then, just at the start of the third chorus and late in that chorus, I'm in the background again.  At the very end of the video, I'm wearing a different costume, and I'm the one at the bottom right corner of the picture, wearing a hat and vest and bell-bottom pants (that aren't showing at the bottom thank goodness for the sake of continuity!)

That's supposed to be a forties costume . . . we wore costumes from three different eras . . . '40s, '70s and present day (our own clothes).  Don't worry . . . I have trouble following this thing and I heard that song over and over and over!

I just did this for the heck of it . . . for fun . . . and I thought I would share with you for the same reason (none really!)

Later!

- Jeff

I found out through MySpace - a bulletin - and I wouldn't know about his death otherwise.  I had his early albums.  Loved them.  Listened to his music over and over.  Played his music.

Singer/Songwriter Dan Fogelberg died over the weekend.

I used to be the doorman at a hotel downtown.  He came to town and stayed at a hotel next door to where I was working.  He came strolling through our garage one time, and it was weird . . . I didn't even try to speak to him.  I just watched him walking by and smiled.   I guess it was just that an awkward "Hey, thanks for the music!" would have seemed insignificant compared to the hours and hours that I spent being touched by his music.  So I just smiled and I knew . . .

How poignant will it be to hear "Same Old Lang Syne" this year?!  That song always touches me anyway . . .  

My heart is saddened.

I just spent some time reading his biography on his website and listening to some of the music there.  Wow.  I had almost forgotten how much I loved the man's music.  Such a talent.

The beauty of being a recorded artist is that his spirit will never be gone.  We will always be able to tap into that which means so much to us.

I failed to say it when I actually had the chance . . . so I'll say it now . . .

Dan . . . thanks for the music!

Where've I been?  Well, I haven't been blogging in a while because I've been working more on my music . . . Which is sort of my way of 'blogging' anyway!

Check out the "Live Dogs" CD . . . now AVAILABLE at The Jeff Stewart Shop.

The Jeff Stewart Shop

Thank you for your support!

- Jeff

I was lucky enough to see my little buddies this last Sunday.  They are aged eight and five.  As Art Linkletter used to show us, kids say the darndest things!  I had the following dialogue with the five-year-old:

[Me, trying to stir up conversation and encourage him . . .]
"Wow . . . you get to start kindergarden . . . that's great!  You'll get to make lots of friends"

    [Him, unimpressed]
     "I already have TEN friends!"

"Wow . . . really?"

     "One of them is six years old . . . and one is five years old . . . . actually
      there are TWO of them!"

"Oh . . . what are their names?  I'll bet I might know them!"

     "I don't know . . ."

"You don't know their names?"

     "No . . . I haven't seen them in a long time . . ."

"Oh . . . where did you meet them?"

     "In the park . . ."

------  Innocent, childish notions of who our friends are . . . To him, his friends are two little boys that he met at a park a long time ago, and didn't remember their names.

Well . . . I don't know if I can say that I understand much more than my little buddy about how to judge if someone is my friend.  But I do think that I can tell when I find out that they aren't . . .

Of course, the term 'friend' is thrown around MySpace like it means nothing . . . and so, on MySpace, it does mean nothing . . .

Still, I thought that I had made a new friend . . . and then, last night, I found out that she wasn't.  We had hung out a couple times and enjoyed each other's company.  (No romantic interest here at all . . . 'just' friends, and that was nice.)  Last night, we went to a concert together (I drove, thank goodness!).  A few songs into the show, she got a call from some other friends who were also there . . . She turned to me and said, "I'll be right back . . . I have to give 'em this [clutching something in her hand]" . . . and then . . . well . . . and then, she never came back!   Hmmmm . . .

We both had our cell phones, and she had already used them once to call me when she lost track of where I was sitting . . . I stayed in the same place for a couple hours, and then moved about ten feet in between acts . . . so if she had 'lost' her cell phone, she still would have been able to find me. 

Well . . . I was at a concert, and there was no use getting too bent out of shape . . . I just enjoyed the show! 

After the show was over, I had to do what I could to make sure that she was okay and had another ride home . . . So I called her . . . she didn't answer . . . I asked her to call me and at least let me know that she was okay . . . I said that I'd wait for a while . . .

About twenty minutes later, I called again . . . still she wouldn't answer . . . I said that I hated to do it, but since she decided to 'disappear' and not call me back, I had to assume that she'd made other arrangements.  (This was about five hours after she'd told me that she'd be 'right back' and after unanswered, unreturned phone calls.)

I started driving out of the parking lot . . . and what did I see?   I saw her walking along talking on her cell phone . . . I stopped and called out to her . . . she looked back at me and didn't even slow down, didn't wave, didn't even acknowledge . . . ???? 

--- When I told a 'real-life' friend of mine about this, his comment was simply, "Congratulations!  You found another wacko!"

I can't explain this extremely rude behavior.  I seriously doubt that SHE could explain this behavior.  I was 'ditched' . . . hmmmm . . . maybe I shouldn't really share this story!  ;-)

So does this mean that none of my 'MySpace friends' are true friends? . . . I don't think it means that at all.  I don't think we can judge if a 'friend' is a true friend or not in a short period of time  . . . But I think that they MIGHT BE a true friend in a very short period of time. 

In fact, I think that someone can even be a friend FOR a short period of time!  Or forever . . . or whatever length of time . . . We pass by and through each other's lives constantly . . . making our impressions.  Good or bad, deep or shallow . . . but we make our impressions.

So, are MySpace 'friends' really friends?  Sometimes . . . I've found some people on MySpace who are wonderful, caring people . . . making a good and deep impression on me.  Sometimes not . . . 'nuff said about that . . .

Maybe I need to learn something from my little buddy . . .

So . . .

I have two friends . . . I don't remember their names . . . I met them at a park, a long time ago!

 

Okay . . . by popular demand (and by 'popular' I mean that one person requested it) . . . I'm back to blog again . . .

I could say that I've just been 'busy' . . . or that I haven't had anything to say . . . but that's not really why I haven't blogged in a while . . .

I've been avoiding it because I tend to speak my mind on this "Life Etc." blog . . . which is, after all, what it's about . . .but lately my mind has been pre-occupied with something that's not fun to read about . . . or to think about for that matter.

My father has been in the hospital for the last couple weeks or so . . .

See . . . nothing fun about that.

He had surgery and things have not been going well . . . In fact, we just found out today that he's had several strokes over the last couple years.  I'm not going into much detail here, because my father would not want me to . . . nor is it necessary.

It turns out that medical technology is pretty amazing, but humans - like doctors - are not perfect after all . . . Doctors didn't see the signs of the strokes a couple months ago . . . Not that it would have mattered too much . . . not enough anyway . . . But it might have helped a little!

I'm frustrated by the medical oversights . . . that's true . . . but even more than that, I'm frustrated that we are all human!  We don't last forever!  We fall apart!  And one day . . . one day . . . we die!

I'm not ready for my dad to die.  Not that it's going to happen tomorrow.  He can very possibly recover from this, get the right therapy and be 'okay' for a long time . . . It's just that I've had to consider the possibility lately.   Mortality has been staring me in the face - more like KICKING me in the face . . . And I'm not ready.  I know that he's not exactly anxious either!   But I think that he could be 'ready' . . . he told me so, in his own words . . . okay . . . so, you'd have to know my father . . . what he actually said was, "Shit Happens!" . . .

My father has a great sense of humor - it's where I get mine, so I guess it's no surprise that I find him funny.  But most people do . . . And people like him.  I love him.  We haven't had a real great, strong relationship . . . I think he's dissappointed in me, and I don't think he's real proud of me to be honest (shoot, I'm not too proud either) . . . but I love him . . . and I know that he loves me.  

And in times like these, that's what matters.  Come to think of it, that's all that ever really matters.