Its official…. This country is insane! Or should I shall the "moral" minority is insane. There have been two incidents this week which have set my teeth on edge and made feel growing rage at the hypocritical and mostly small minded moral policing that is happening in this country.

1)      Richard Gere "kissing" Shilpa Shetty on the cheek

2)      Lovely cricket commentator Mandira Bedi have to remove her fabulous sari with world flags on as he evidently offended someone's very small mind

OK so first the GereShetty Gate… what a load of total crap. They where together to highlight the huge problems of HIV in this country. He reenacts a scene from "Shall we Dance" and plants a kiss on her cheek. Next thing we know the rent an effigy mob are burning effigies in the street and the rent a law suit mob are issuing arrest warrant. Evidently Gere has insulted Indian culture. What a load of crap! This is the country that has given us the Karma Sutra, The Sex temples, a country that now has very sexually suggestive adverts on TV. This is a country where the moral minority go unquestioned and unchallenged whilst the majority do nothing to protect their country's image. Fact: India and Indians will never lose their culture. Fact. Kissing a white woman in public on the cheek is not immoral or offending culture….. letting people die from HIV due to Stigma and Discrimination is immoral. Female infanticide is immoral. A kiss on the cheek – whilst perhaps not the n..best move for Gere to make in what is becoming an uber conservative society , is totally harmless. This moral minority need to think what picture they are giving the outside world of India. Their moral policing is currently painting a country of petty middle men who have nothing better to do with their time. God if they spent all their effort trying to actually do some good, imagine how great things good be!

To me this incident is alike to Sharia policing   - what's next? Young students being fined and slapped for wearing short skirts?

Next lets turn to Sari Gate… Mandira Bedi has been wearing fabulous saris throughout the world cup. When England played OZ she had a grand union jack one. On the final on Saturday she wore a sari depicting all the competing nations flags. She looked amazing. She was a great symbol for embracing all the cultures staking part in the cup. She had been saving it up for the final. At half time she wass wearing drab black and white one? What had happened to her Technicolor robe? Well evidently she had offended some people… so surprisingly rent an effigy and rent a mob clamored into action. Burning effigies, issuing law suits saying she has disrespected the Indian flag…. What a crock of shit! She was made on live TV to issue a public apology. Evidently the flag was below her knee and therefore disrespectful. Besides the fact the woman was honoring all countries and celebrating her country by being patriotic… she intended no harm.

I have been totally rubbish at writing my blog! No real excuse, except busy at DeepGriha, World AIDs day stuff, McCanns long visit, and onslaught of other visitors.... plus the Jenny lazy gene! Anyway, disappointed with myself as i was really enjoying writing.

So whats new? Still in Pune - 9 months now. It is way too hot. Never experienced heat like it. Everyone gets sick - 4 volunteers  in hospital with dehydration, and i have had some wierd stomach lurgy for over a week, which has been pretty nasty. The heat saps you, it makes you want to sleep and sleep and sleep during the day, but its too bloody hot at night to sleep! Come on June when the rains come! (evidently that statement is a sign i am becoming a true Indian!).

DeepGriha - the usual trials and tribulations of working with a family owned grass roots NGO! God it can be frustration (but equally rewarding). Plus we have lost 2 really good staff members, so one of the programmes is in chaos.

India - had plenty of trips this year... i am a very lucky lady. Goa twice, Calcutta (to visit Amits roots!), and Udaipur in Rajasthan - will post some pictures soon.

Still in the throws of stomach agony, so ta dah for now

x

Watch our Bollywood here I come!

For anyone who doesn't know what Bollywood is (not sure what planet you live on!), it's the Bombay film industry. Its like discovering a whole new world. And a very bright, dancing and singing world at that. You cannot compare it to Hollywood.  Brad Pitt is a minnow compared to the idolised and worshiped Shah Rukh Khan. When Amitabha Bachan dies, the whole of India will go in a prolonged period of mourning. Theses actors are gods… it's a phenomenon I have never seen nor experienced.

So what about the films you may ask? Well they fit into 2 categories. 1) The entertaining, singing and dancing, man meets girls, dances in the rain type. Or 2) the cutting edge ground breaking dramas (Omkara, Dor) . Both are great.

Nowhere else would you get an action flick, where the macho male character will suddenly break into song about eating paan (Don). The songs are huge. They dominate the charts. And god are they catchy. Film soundtracks are another phenomenon… I cannot get songs from Who Lamhe out of my head. There is of course a lot of nonsense in the all singing and all dancing films. Cheesy stars wearing bad clothes.. sorry but Hrithik Roshan fits into this category. Wife beater vests and tight leather trousers went out of fashion circa 1992! As did the assumption that if you wear sunglasses you are "macho cool!".  Also lots of the male stars who are supposed sex symbols are just not good looking (Salman Khan, Ashkay, Sanjay Dutt to name a few). It goes without saying that all the women are stunningly beautiful.

My friend Meeta has a great blog on Bollywood movies: www.withoutgivingthemovieaway.com. She is a Bollywood buff and is slowly introducing me into the movies here!

To cut a long story short… I now have a new ambition. To be in a Bollywood film! As an extra of course. I am learning Hindi already and have now started Bollywood dance lessons. Which is hilarious. Shavani, Radka (all from local businesses) and I, three times a week go and learn how to wiggle and jiggle to the likes of "Yeh Mera Dil". Its great fun and bloody hard work! A famous choreographer takes the class. I have to say lots of the dancing is reminiscent of Boyzone and Take That from the 90's …. But we shall soon be busting some cool moves ya on the dance floors of Pune! I would be very afraid!

Watch out Bollywood here I come!

On the eve of Diwali I had organised a children's party for twenty of our school drop outs at Extentia's office.  The aim was for Extentia volunteers to interact with the kids and give them some fun for Diwali. Really nice idea. In the week the School Drop Outs Project Leader had assured me that he would get me twenty children, an ambulance (that's the form of transport we use here at DGS! Kind of like the Scooby doo van!) And a driver. I get to DGS on Friday at 4.30. No sign of any kids. Call Hans in a small panic. He comes down. Still no children. I envisage the Extentia staff hovering over paper plates, party games and the Diyas that will be painted, waiting for phantom children to turn up. The party that never was. Five O'colck passes. Still no school drops outs. Kinda looks like they just dropped out of the whole thing.

I can see steam starting to seep out of Hans' as we wait on the steps of DGS. I can feel my own temper being to bubble. Hans asks the Project Leader what's going on. He informs us that its Diwali so he didn't think it was worth bothering to ask anyone. Again I picture the Extentia staff hosting a phantom party. This is an organisation we are trying to build ties with, so not delivering children to a party they had organised would leave us red faced and embarrassed. Project Leader didn't really seem to give a damn. This is the frustration of internal politics in an NGO. This is a job to some people, rather than a passion. Some people just cannot see the bigger picture. They don't realise the impact that this could have on what we are trying to achieve organisation wise. Sometimes you are just banging your head (when you wish it was theirs!) against a monolithic unmoving wall. If he couldn't sort it out, he should have just said. Instead of leaving us seething on a step at 4.45 on a baking Friday afternoon.

The steam came out of Hans ears at this point…. So we became the Pied Pipers of Tadwalla Road. If some people can't be arsed to get 20 kids to attend a fun party, then we certainly could. The DISHA team as always where there to save the day. Frantic calls where made… ones that an outsider would be intrigued by " I need you to get me twenty children and I need them twenty minutes ago… chalo"!!

Ranu, one of the saviours, is cooking her children some Diwali treats in her home when we call. Frying pakoras over her stove. Kids playing outside. The fact she drops everything in a minute and brings the kids and her pakoras within ten minutes demonstrates a) her utmost respect for Hans and b) her dedication to DGS. If only everyone could be like her. Mira, another saviour, answers the SOS in jaw dropping fashion. In a panic we beg her to bring her kids and a few others in ten minutes. Like Ranu she is preparing for what is the equivalent of Christmas day… cooking, getting the best clothes ready, making rangoli outside her house. That doesn't matter. Five minutes letter a long line of children all holding hands slowly drop into the centre. All sent by Mira. There are 42 in total. Yes its Diwali, yes it's a holiday, but that doesn't stop the dedicated DISHA staff delivering on our promise to Extentia. And delivering in the form of 42 kids!!!

Now we all have to fit into the Scooby van!! Me and 42 kids age 7-15. Them speaking Marathi, me English! There isn't room for Hans and Ranu, they assure me they will be along soon! We squeeze in, 44 people in a 10 seater van.

We get to Extentia only thirty minutes late. Its no point trying to hide the fact we have 42 kids when we should have 20… the more the merrier hey? Well 42 is better than a big fat 0.

The party is great… Extentia really know how to give the kids a great time. First games are played, then Diyas (Diwali candles) are painted, then dancing, food, then the piste de resistance – Fireworks! At first the kids are shy, they are not used to this kind of environment. I (as a DGS face), have to show them all the toilet, as they won't go on their own. Then as the music blares out and the fireworks sparkle the Indian urge to dance quells all shyness. The shoulder wiggling and hand jiggling is a site to behold on a roof full of candles on a starry night. This sense of togetherness and momentary dissolving of all boundaries between those that have and those that have not, is what Diwali is all about. A festival of lightness. 

18^th October

Today the Diwali party gets started!! DeepGriha is shut for a whole week for the Festival of Lights. This is the biggest festival in India and is on the same scale as Christmas. Families get together, presents are shared, sticky sweets are eaten. Fireworks and firecrackers are set off continually, the sky will be permanently lit with reds, blues and oranges.

I have to go on a shopping spree to buy:

1.      Sari and sweets for our cleaner

2.      Trousers and sweets for cook

3.      Sweets for watchman, washer man (dhobi), man in supermarket, maintenance man!!

4.      Everyone else who we might happen upon!

Today I am going out on what is equivalent to a Christmas team night out! I should actually say day out. Malaka Spice, a great Asian restaurant, has a crazy deal on… eat and drink as much as you want for 250 INR!!! That's less than three quid… I don't think they release English people live in Pune!!

Anyway I have been going to yoga at the Iyengar yoga institute in Pune. This is world famous, and a long way from the world of yoga babies and yummy mummies of Crouch End. http://www.bksiyengar.com/. The building is covered in marble reliefs of a very old man doing seemingly impossible things with his body, wearing what appears to be a man sized nappy! This guy is in his 80s and can twist his body into shapes I could only dream about!

Karen, Sam and I go on Tuesday nights and Thursday mornings. It's a real mixed bag of people in the class, mostly Indians, a smattering of westerners and lots of men.  This is the beginners course and it lasts 9 months. People come from all over the world to train here – you can only become a teacher if you have been practising for 8 years… pretty hardcore.

Anyway, our teacher is a moustachioed man who wears very short shorts. We at first sit on the floor with our legs crossed and chant for around 5 minutes. The first time we all got the giggles, but after a few classes its actually really good to let all the air out of your body in the form of strange words. The best bit about the class is the end, where we lie in the corpse pose on the floor for 10 minutes and totally relax… my kind of exercise!

I am totally loving it. The next day your entire body aches, you feel you have stretched every muscle, but you also feel amazing. Its also good that its not the whole pretentious "Sweaty Betty" wearing yoga of London. There is nothing glamorous about it, no stick thin covered in make up socialites…. Its people of all ages, all races, wearing adult size nappy shorts!

October 12^th

Long time no blog!! Things have been pretty hectic!

Things are going well in Pune. Festival season is in full swing, and boy to people here like any excuse to bang drums, throw firecrackers, throw colours and dance! It was the Bengali and Gujarati festival – Durga Puja. Again this went on for 10 days and nights. Idols where paraded in the street, there was dancing and stick clanging!! Amit and I gate crashed a small durga party one night and ended up swirling on the dance floor banging sticks with ten very welcoming strangers. That's the one thing about India, show some interest in some local festivity and you get welcomed into peoples homes with open arms.. pretty amazing.

Other than that its is getting seriously hot. We are sweltering at DeepGriha. There is no AC, just fans and open windows. Its fascinating coming from a corporate environment into an NGO… the bureaucracy and all talk, slow action is mind boggling. I attended an important meeting on the Wake Up Pune campaign where the only resolution was what to call the damn thing. The event is in 8 weeks and all other NGOs do is plan. So we are going it alone slightly to Wake up Pune to HIV. Having some success and getting local cinemas and businesses onboard. I really think we will have some success. But it is all about how we measure that success. How do you know if you have changed peoples minds? So Sam and Suparna are devising a social research questionnaire to canvas opinion after the event. Alls I know is I am daily shocked about educated peoples views on HIV… it is astounding!

I am still finding time to spend 30 mins everyday in the crèche. These poor kids are so beautiful but dressed like total ragmuffins. It is heartbreaking.

Friday 13^th October.

On Friday night we had the first DeepGriha HIV party. This is something we plan to do every month. When you have HIV you need to keep a positive attitude and live a positive life. This monthly party is to give some joy and fun to people whose lives are shrouded in darkness.

Basically all our HIV clients and their families (about 150 people) plus the staff had a party on the roof of the family welfare centre. We had a band but all our clients got up to sing and dance. We could have DISHA idol!! Avinash the DISHA team leader couldn't be pried away from the microphone…. Nor the dance floor!

Dinner was then served.  We all sat on the floor in rows and ate byrani off banana leaves... it was amazing... everyone brought to the same level, slum dwellers, HIV positive people, everyone united. Really quite an amazing feeling.

 There is a gorgeous boy who is 9, but has the height of a 5 year old. He has HIV and is really sick, but what a cheeky monkey he is!!! He sat on my lap and kept asking me to dance (he loves dancing), then was pretending to interview people with a pretend mircophone, then dancing some more!! He won the kids dancing competition as boy has he got the shoulder wiggle, and hand turning down to a fine art!

So Friday the 13^th may be unlucky for some, but it was very lucky for DISHA… everyone left positive… whether you have HIV or not.

Tuesday 17^th October

I think it is official that India is one of the friendliest places on earth. I have been getting clothes made at a shop across the road. I just bumped into the woman who owns the shop on the street and she invited me to her house!! Went over for coffee and played with her one year old daughter. Could you imagine that ever happening in England? Buying a top from a boutique in Crouch End then being invited in for a brew or two? I don't think so. Its really bad though, I have real troulbe remembering certain Indian names. If it's a new one I have never heard of before it just won't isnk in. Anyway, lovely lady who owns the shop whose name I cannot remember! Has invited me for mehndi for Diwali. Basically all women in the family get together and get painted with henna on hands and feet. Not sure if Amit is too keen on this, but hey you have to try things.

Pune is the city of the two wheeler (that's what scooters and motorbikes are called in India). Every kind of person drives a two wheeler. Where it's a middle aged woman in a brightly coloured sari, a young IT worker on the latest model or entire families-  it's the city of scooting. What is crazy though is the entire family part. A scooter will whiz by with a 4 year boy old balancing on the front, imitating driving a scooter,  then dad, then a 6 year old sister, then mum riding side saddle like in the days of old (I guess its hard to straddle a bike wearing a sari) balancing a bangle clad sleeping baby in her arms. This is the norm on Sundays. Whole families going to dinner or to ice cream parlours on one scooter. I don't think I could drive here, so I take my hat off to their balancing skills!

On Sunday we went to the movies. Not to see a Hindi film, (more of that later), but to see a Hollywood blockbuster. An amazing cinema!! It is organised chaos to get a ticket and popcorn (chilly, cheese, caramel, salt, butter and tomato flavours!). Everyone goes to the cinema on Sundays to see the latest Bollywood blockbuster. It is amazing that 90% of the films here are Bollywood films. I couldn't imagine their being should a wide variety of British films.  Over dinner with friends people talk of actresses, actors and films we have no clue about. Its like discovering a whole new mystery world of movies. Everyone has an opinion about Preity Zita, Shah Rukh Khan, Amitsheka (?) Bachanan and Salman Khan.  Indian music and films are keeping Hollywood at bay. Its great to see a nation keeping hold of its own culture. Anyway, I am going to be introduced to the world of Bollywood with Ash and Mitre, who love all the films, and go every Monday and Friday.

Before each film everyone gets up to sing the national anthem to the picture of the Indian flag. Its' deadly serious and the audience sings with all their hearts. That is amazing…. I knew my mum would love this display of patriotism. Of course there is an interval, heaven help if anyone goes without a snack for more than 2 hours! Seriously though going the cinema here is an experience, and a really enjoyable one.

Back to Bollywood. As a normal shunner of the English cult of celebrity, I am ashamed to admit I am hooked on Bollywood gossip. Everyday in the Times of India there is a pullout section packed with the latest news. Headlines like: "When Reena Roy danced with everyman in the room", "What do TV stars do after work?" and " "Celebs come out for a peek" jostle with cutting edge insights on "How does one benefit from drinking watermelon juice?". Normally I hate adverts, but I could watch them here for hours. To see the latest Bollywood star, body popping a packet of chocolate cream biscuits in a trendy nightclub in a biscuit advert, keeps me gripped for hours!

September 15^th

As well as being a mystical and spiritual country, India has many other mysteries for the average expat to encounter. Here are just a few:

Mystery 1:

Cows are the king of the road in India. They are top of the traffic pecking order and boy don't they know it!! Pedestrians are at the bottom, with the biggest cars coming a close second to cars. Herds of cows slowly meander down a traffic choked road, chewing some grass, taking time for a long rest in the middle of the road, causing huge traffic jams. They stare down their flaring nostrils at you, giving you a haughty look if you dare challenge their status. Many cows don't seem to have any owners, they just amble freely down highways, munching away. Why I ask myself? How can a city come to a standstill because of a cow?!! This is one of the great mysteries of India.

Mystery 2:

The need for decision by committee, and boy does everyone here love a committee. Whether you are a waiter or on the Board of a charity! After sitting on several meetings that lasted several hours, it has become apparent that there is a lot of talk, a lot of back patting, but little action. It's the same in a local coffee shop, you order your frappucino (yep you can get a frozen coffee in Pune), you are the only customer, there are 10 staff, but actually getting your drink and paying seems sometimes a Herculean task! Junior server has to speak to manager server and lots of chat will happen, but very little coffee making!!

Mystery 3:

The inability to say no. Asking a rickshaw driver to take you somewhere, you are always told yes. Twenty minutes later you are in the wrong place, but "yes maam" is all you can get out of the eager to please driver. This goes for everything. Meetings you are assured will happen at 3.30, occur hours later, and no one but Amit and I seem to notice or care. The concept of time is very fluid. You can spend hours waiting for someone and they rock up hours later as if that is normal.

August 13^th

On sunday amit, mark (amits boss) and me decided to take a trip to Matheran.. a hill station about 3 hours away. On a mini adventure.  the drive was amazing. right in rural india. cow and goat herds and herders everywhere (i wonder what its like to be a cow herder?). then up a big scary hill on hair pin bends with no sides.  Death could have been imminent at any time!

we then had to make the decision to hike to the top (about 4kms through the jungle) or get a horse or human rickshaw (no cars etc allowed). we decided to walk. Mark and i looked like sweaty westerners as it was uphill and mega hot. we where all soaked through by the time we got to the top with our driver ( good name Mohammed Asif (everyone has a good name in India), skull cap, big beard, and big ink stain down his entire left handside).

we get to the top and find a ramshackle town whose main inhabitants appeared to be monkeys. Monkeys everywhere, families of them promenading down the street. Sitting outside houses. It should be called Monkey town.

We had all enjoyed the walk but where disappointed by Matheran town. We had heard of a great hotel called verandah in the forest, which is meant to be an old colonial palce. So we decide to head there for some refreshments. Soon an earlier dream I had whilst trekking in the heat came true. The heavens opened. It was like a dam bursting its banks. Water just poured out of the sky in huge torrents. The clay soil turned into a red river .We where wearing t-shirts and loose trousers. They where soon plastered to us. I got hysterical. I don't know what it is about loads of rain, and getting wet. I just can't help but laugh. We walk for about 15 minutes through the road/river trying to find this hotel. It better bloody be the Taj Mahal and the best tea we have ever had! At last we find it. It is a beautiful building but with the rudest, most unhelpful staff in India (this is a rarity!!). We stay for a rubbish and extortionate snack and decide we must head back before nightfall. Suddenly the sound of a bomb going off scares the shit out of us. Its actually thunder and we see lightening strike a tree outside!! We have a 4 km hike back to dryness! Poor Mohammed Asif looks like a drowned little boy and he must think we are crazy. His ink stain, from some mystery pen, has spread and spread and spread. He looks like he is bleeding blue from a gunshot wound.

We decided to men shall ride horses down the mountain and I will get a human rickshaw. We run to our transportation. Luckily my rickshaw is covered. But a slow sense of shame creeps over me. 2 skinny, small men are carrying me down the mountain. Luckily the shame soon dissipates as I begin to enjoy myself and get some great shots with the camera. At last we reach our car. Soaked through, even underwear wet,  beginning to shiver but feeling exhilarated!