Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
Nope.

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
Um, good question.

No, I can walk and drink at the same time.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?

I do not.

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
In one....on one.....against one....hell....on a boat, on a float, on a plane, in the rain...

Ever snuck out of your house?
Yeah.

Kill or Be killed?
I am a carnivore.

Break someones heart or have your heart broken?
Works for me.

What did you do today?
What you wish you were doing.

Then some other stuff I’d been meaning to do.

Do you like someone right this second?
I like everyone, especially if they show me boobies and bring me fresh cookies!!!

Would you ever get a tattoo?
I think so.

What was the last thing you ate?
A donut.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
Day or night, I am a person.

Do you snore?
I’ve been told I do.

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
I used to.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
Call the police. On the non-emergency line, since, obviously, the emergency is over.

Do you like to spend time with people?
About as much as I like to spend time alone.

Are you hungry?
Yep.

Are you a forgiving person?
No.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
Every other day suits me fine.

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
Only the omnicient narrator who lives in my head.

Do you want a relationship right now?
I have one, thanks.

What are you about to do?
Walk back to the house.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
I thought Kurt Cobain had died a year before he actually did. Its easy to get confused.

If you could be a superhero what would you want to do?
Control people.

Your name plus "ness"?
Jerantinoness

Three feelings at the moment?
Horny, Happy and Hungry!

Done anything you regret so far in life?
A few. Nothing I’d admit here.

Are you listening to anything?
Great Big Sea!

Where are you right now?
The Kingsgate Library.

What are you scared of?
Bears…Sharks….

Last movie you watched?
A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy

Last song you sang out loud?
"Captain Kidd” by Great Big Sea in the shower this morning.

Are you thinking of someone right now?
I am.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
Not sure.

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
"Bad Things" by Wednesday 13

Have you changed much this year?
I change everyday. Twice on some.

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
The Safeway.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes they have.

Do you speak any other language?
Badly, and not very much.

Do you dress for style or comfort?
Both. I’m a regular Beau Brummel.

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
Not in Mexico.

What's the craziest thing you've done?
Her name was Beth, I think…

Favorite color(s)?
Deep Red, Dark Grey

What is your favorite Nickelback song?
I’m not sure. Hum something for me.

What are you looking forward to this summer?
Getting a tan, exercising, painting my brains out.

Last time you smiled?
Just now.

If you could choose any fate what would you choose?
“Fate” is a four letter word.

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
Fat stacks of hundred dollar bills.

If there’s one thing my new job has taught me- it is the therapeutic value of chasing people with a chainsaw.

It has been a great 3 weeks of chills and thrills at the Seattle House of Horrors in Totem Lake’s Halloween Express.
Scaring the holy Hell out of folks often makes my day.

Each week the scare responses ratchet up another notch.

Screamers- I get screamers. Laughers, too.

The jumpers are funny. Like a dancer coming on point, it’s almost as if they levitate a good 2-3 feet in the air propelled by the power of their own screams.

The people who baffle me are the ones who just stop shock still, cowering and screaming until their friends have to drag them clear of my saw.

Likewise the people who just fall over.

Admittedly, the amount of fog and smoke in The Butcher Shop can mess with folk’s depth perception, especially when a 6’+ maniac is bearing down on you and your friends bellowing things like: “You’re my little piggy NOW!!!”

And what is up with the sisters who wanna be all up my grill with their Beyoncé /Lady Ga-Ga BS?

Bee-yatches, please.

I’ve had grown men collapse and curl up in the fetal position, made teenage boys scream like little girls. People have run out of their shoes trying to get away from me, drop their cell phones (I know!), and, in one poor fellows case, lost his teeth! Apparently he spat out his partial in his mad flight from a grizzly demise.

But it’s not all the cries and screams of the crowds; a lot of the time is spent just lurking about, making sure my saw is properly fueled, getting my groove on to the Throbbing Gristle soundtrack that rocks the house, veiling the chop-shop in its foggy aire of menace.

Feeling that tension build as the terrified yelps and cries draw nearer, until finally….

…YOU’RE MINE!!!!!

What highway do you drive on the most?
Since I don’t drive, I’ll presume you meant ride. That would be 520.

When was the last time you bought a bathing suit?
Last time I was in ....Ohio..... May 2008.

Would you consider yourself a flirt?
I would say yes.

What color is your boss's hair?
Blondie blonde.

What are your siblings' middle names?
Anthony, Oliver, and Kathleen. And Bill hates being called Kathy….

What’s a song that puts you in the mood to dance or party?
Shame on You – Indigo Girls

Where are you going on your next vacation?
Dunno.

Do you get paid weekly or bi-weekly?
Why? You need a loan?

What color are your pillows?
Pillow colored. They have cases and rotating shammies.

Favorite aunt's name?
Patricia.

What hours do you work?
As few as I have to.

Are you superstitious?
I'd say yes.

Whose motorcycle were you last on?
My ex’s.

You have to buy the perfect shirt to wear tonight, where do you go?
JC Penny’s

How many calendars are in your house?
3 if you count my watch.

Have you ever been confused over two relationships at once?
I have a hard enough time with one. I try to stay focused.

Who is the last person that made you laugh in person?
Diane.

In person, over the phone or internet?
"in person, over the phone or internet?" what? How do I like to apply lotion? In person. How do I like to dictate global domination? Over the internet. Where was I when the llamas broke free and went joy riding through Willard? Over the phone. I need you to work with me, survey writer.

Name one of your exes' mother's names?
Candice

Do you miss high school?
I haven’t tried to hit it yet.

What color is your bra?
Oddly enough, I'm not wearing one.

How many pairs of sneakers do you own?
One.

 
What kind of lotion is closest to you?
This is funny.

Whats on TV this second?
X-Men: Last Stand – God help us all.

What helps you sleep?
Music, being tired.

How much would you get if you traded your car in?
Dunno. What are Hot Wheels school buses trading for on the open market?

Last time you saw your dad?
May 2008

Last time you babysat?
No clue. People tend to not leave me with their children, and I encourage this.

Next dentist/doctor appt?
Your guess is as good as mine.

How often do you do laundry?
Two loads, once a week.

What commercials are your favorites?
…The ones with the Progessive girl.

Or that “Oh La La” one.

Have you ever been prescribed narcotics?
Yes I have.

Have you ever copied someone's tests?
Yes I have.

Whats hummus made of?
Chick peas and/or garbonzo beans. I like mine with garlic and olives.

When's the last time you used a slip and slide?
One drunken night when I was 26…

Whats annoying you right now?
Lack of planning.

What did you eat for dinner tonight?
Nothing yet. Probably some atrocious Fair food before the CSN concert.

Do you have a crush on someone from the workplace?
Not really. I haven’t known them long enough to figure out if they’re worth liking.

Are you an introvert or extrovert?
Introverted, growing less so with liberal doses of tequila.

When's your grandmas birth date?
Not sure.

Do you take birth control?
Never been offered any.

Whom can you depend on to post the best surveys?
Ernie, The Captain, and J. Lee.

How many rings do you wear daily?
None.

Any tattoos?
No..

Name 3 people you worked with today?
No one, nobody , and nada.

Favorite summer cocktail?
Lemonade

How much gas is in your tank?
Ha ha!

Plans for today/tonight?
Going to see CSN play at the Puyallup Fairgrounds.

Plans for the weekend?
Some work, some hustling, some sleeping. I may eat.

I was browsing around random blogs today when I found this guy's survey.  It's one well-thought out survey, too:  no "What's your favourite colour" type questions here!  Always a sucker for a good survey, I nabbed it, and now post it for your filling-out pleasure. 

1. Of everything you've ever done in your life, what one accomplishment makes you most proud?

“Pride goeth before a fall” is a phrase I’ve always thought more people should consider more carefully.

I feel most accomplished each time I complete a new painting in my Tarot series.

2. If the person you are today could meet the person you'll be ten years from now, do you think the two of you would be friends?

 “Now, my young padawan….”

3. If calories, carbohydrates, and nutrition were of no consequence, what would you love to eat?

Pizza with sausage and green/calamata olives. With plenty of cheese.

4. What is your very earliest memory?

The trains that used to run by the house where I first lived.

5. Everybody has a silly way to waste time. What's yours?

This is pretty much it. Finding surveys to sound-off on.

6. What one incident do you think is most responsible for making you the person you are today?

 Agreeing to move to ....Seattle.....

7. Do you believe you've reached your potential in any area of your life? If so, which area?

 My potential of being 42 years old is pretty much about up…

8. If you were President of the ....United States...., and Congress agreed to pass any one law you wanted, what would it be?

Mandatory raises for grade and high school educators.

  
9. Name the aspect of your character you most wish you could change.

Being able to ask for help sooner rather than later.

10. Do you believe in fate?

No.

 11. Life never turns out quite the way we plan it. Try to remember who and where and what you thought you were going to be. What's the single biggest difference between your current reality and what you thought would happen?

 That’s a good one.

The biggest difference is being unemployed presently. Everything else seems to have fallen in place.

12. Some people tell stories. Some people design clothes. Some people paint landscapes. Some people sing. Some people make up survey questions. What's your creative outlet?

Drawing and painting are definitely up there.

 
13. Does the future hold more promise or fear for you? Why?

Far more promise than fear because I’m still painting and drawing.
 
14. Please describe an imaginary person who is your exact opposite.

The Kiss-Ass Sell-Out. You know who I mean.

15. Everyone knows the blockbuster movies, the billboard music hits, and the best selling novels. I want to know the obscure, the overlooked, and the forgotten.

A. Your favorite unknown movie.

Blood & Donuts

B. Your favorite unknown book.

Bad Voltage – Jonathan Littell

C. Your favorite unknown song.

....New Orleans.... – Cowboy Mouth

16. Please tell me about the best day you've ever had.

 My birthday last year at ....Manresa.. ..Castle.... and Dungeoness Spit.

17. What foreign culture interests you the most?

Nope, none. Really. Why the hell do you think they all want to be in the ....US....?

18. How much of who you are is because of the decisions you've made, and how much is a result of circumstances you did not control?

I’ll take responsibility for everything after I turned 21. That’s 20 years of circumstances pretty much beyond my control.

19. What's life about, anyway?

If it’s working for you: go with it.

Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down.

Remember, once upon a New Testament the Romans and the Jews nailed a guy to a piece of wood for saying “Why not try being NICE to each other?” Go figure.

 
20. What's your country's greatest gift to the rest of the world?

McDonald’s Freedom Fries.

Now isn’t that nicer than constantly electing bad punch lines to worse joke into office?

1) What author do you own the most books by?
John D. MacDonald ~ The Travis McGee series

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
4 copies of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
Did they now?

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Any of Liz Hand’s leading ladies. Or maybe just Liz Hand…

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
The Hobbit

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Spies on the Devil’s Belt by Betsy Haynes

7) What is the worst book you've read in the past year?
None, I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting the duds.

8) What is the best book you've read in the past year?
An Evil Guest by Gene Wolfe

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
It better NOT be Oprah.

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
Tapping the Source by Kem Nunn

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell  by Susanna Clarke

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
....Arnold.... Schwarzenegger as Captain Ahab campaigning for Governor…

14) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
Topping From Below by Laura Reese

15) What is the most difficult book you've ever read?
Difficult as in painful? Gun With Occasional Music by Jonathan Letham

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
The Merry Wives of ....Windsor....

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
For breakfast or for dinner? I’ll take the Russians.

18) Roth or Updike?
Roth…and I have a similar complaint….

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
Sedaris

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
When they speak of ‘going back to the well’ they mean Chaucer.

21) Austen or Eliot?
Belligerently no opinion

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
I haven’t read as many autobiographies as I would like.

23) What is your favorite novel?
Waking the Moon by Elizabeth Hand

24) Play?
Equus by Peter Shaffer

25) Poem?
Solomon Kane’s Homecoming by Robert E. Howard

26) Essay?
Various Robert Bly...again, no titles spring to mind but I've read a few.


27) Short story?
Murder Mysteries by Neil Gaiman

28) Work of nonfiction?
Alphonse Mucha: The Spirit of Art Nouveau by Victor Arwas, Jana Brabcova-Orlikova, and Anna Dvorak

~ What I mean by ‘going back to the well’.

29) Who is your favourite writer?
Steven Brust – odd that none of his titles have cropped up here. But he did teach me how to drink single malt scotch….

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
The “Left Behind” authors. Render me a fucking break, Dooley.

31) What is your desert island book?
The Green Ripper by John D. MacDonald

~or~

To Reign in Hell by Steven Brust (ha ha- made it!)

32) And... what are you reading right now?
Sunshine by Robin McKinley

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Yesterday at 12:24pm

You've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with the 3's of YOU. At the end, choose people to be tagged. You have to tag me. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - or because I'd rather do this than rob the 7-11.

Three names I go by:
1. Herr Professor Docktor Jerantino
2. Jer
3. Jane Doe

Three Jobs I have had in my life.
1. Photographer
2. Illustrator
3. Animator

Three Places I have lived
1. ....Milan.., ..Ohio....
2. ....Auburn...., Indiana
3. ....Seattle.., ..Washington....

Three Favorite drinks
1. Coffee
2. Sobe Energy
3. Single Malt Scotch

Three TV shows that I watch
1. Fringe
2. House
3. Bones

Three Places I Have Been
1. Blue ....Lagoon.., ..Bahamas....
2. ....New Orleans.... before…
3. San Diego Comic Con

People that e-mail/facebook me regularly
1. Hayley
2. J Lee
3. John

Three of my favorite restaurants
1. Cedar’s
2. Acropolis
3. Burger Burger

Three friends I think will respond
1. No
2. Freaking
3. Clue

Three things I'm looking forward to
1. Going back to work!
2. Game night!
3. Dragon*Con!