Let the sky
Split my heart wide
Let heartbreak
expand in silence
As walls shatter
The sun shines through
What was once locked
 is now free to be here

As a cocoon
Wraps around
Traced with burning fire
Round the edges
Lifts me above the sea
Into a millions stars
Where I feel peace
In this space

As I fall the wings
Unfold as the world
Passes me by
Slowly allowing me stay
In a space where
The flowers bloom
Exactly when they
Are meant to

As everything
Is my teacher
And everything
Is a lesson
With each step
And every breath
I open up and listen

So that I may continue
To grow
Towards the sun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqGBFTyH1r0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqGBFTyH1r0

from me to you
if you have an iphone
carry me with you

xo
Jillian Ann


http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=325717240&mt=8

The fog drifts
As the stars fold
Under the sun
As I awake
To a world
In which
Spirit bends and Breaks
All solid matter
Until it becomes
A million stars
Moving as one
My perspective
Shifts as I
Expand and contract
Ever growing
Ever changing
Becoming Nothing
Only to become everything
Walking through
Silent streets
Picking flowers
From windows
Boxes and strangers
Carrying them back
Into the walls
Which seem as
Strange like the
Concept of countries
Color or  class
Someday You'll find me
Sleeping under the stars
On the roof
Under the trees
Floating in the ocean
The shadows
And silence
A cocoon
Away from all of the
Man made fear inspired
Limitations and walls
Countries and codes
That only keep us
Running on a treadmill
Killing to protect
What is ours
Fighting for something
We will never really own
Living dead
Just to be like the jones
Running on empty
Till we are in ICU
Pumped full of drugs
Dying in a hospital room
Killed early from
The poison
That if you're not careful
Consumes you while
You sleep
I want to die under the stars
Floating in the sea
Under the trees
Until then
The trick is
To stay alive
Not get lost
Or caught
Divided destroyed
Or become prey
To fear which only
Leads to slow
Suicide
Death doesn't scare me
Living dead
Is another story
Wires cables media
Do we actually know
Ourselves
Or are we always just
Following someone else
If there were no countries
No wars
No walls
No separation
What would their be
To fear
not to love
Someday  you'll find me
Under the stars
Floating in the sea
Returning to
Where I have and always
Have been...

9/11 Collective Reality  and a House of Cards

I am going to share my experience regarding 9/11. Prior to moving to New York I had recurring visions and dreams about towers burning and falling. At one point a song was created inspired by channeled through that vision. It was titled Fallen.  The visions and dreams were so vivid and imprinted and continued to happen over and over to the point that I chose to live on the other side of the bridge.  On September 10th something intense happened the entire day I felt a darkness descend i kept hearing souls and seeing a vision over and over. I was attempting to go about my daily life but it weighed heavily on me.  On the way home a man who used to walk me home everynight came to me and walked me home. I told him about what I was feeling and seeing and he expressed he knew and explained from his perspective why it was happening then he prayed with me. I went inside unable to sleep, I called a friend told them what I was seeing and feeling, they told me not to worry, everything would be fine . I told them this time something was really not right I could see and feel it.

The next day I saw it, it was no longer a dream or a vision, it was unfolding in reality. This completely altered my perspective of reality , my friend was altered as well.  Ever since then it has continued to be with me, and has changed my life.  I watch now as the controversy continues to spread on who or why and how it happened I understand why that controversy is there but what happened was planned for a long time, I saw it for years, I don't know exactly how or why but it was there. I never was shown who or the exact time although what I felt right before was so thick you couldn't cut a knife through its energy.

I have continued to try to stay aware, pay attention to dreams and visions for after that experience dreams and visions became messengers. Trusting in them in a world which in many teach and or program us to discount them or we never even dream or have visions. 

I feel we are collectively moving into very intense times, not that it hasn't always been intense. With technology comes the capacity for us to communicate faster and spread information quicker. But it also comes with the capacity to manipulate and control in ways that prior to the consolidation of information that is initially feed not only to us but to the entire world. I have watched as a story that was once local has become global, an idea of reality that once could only be spread by mouth can now be spread at the speed of light altering the perception of reality globally.

The swine flu is a wonderful example of how something can be spread at the speed of light to create a energy of fear globally with or without very much behind it based on actually reality.  If we were living in little tribes we wouldn't even know about swine flu until we got it.  Now through the media you could convince people there will be a huge issue and convince them all to get a vaccine even if there really was no issue or threat. I am not saying that the swine flu has no threat. I am just saying we live in a world in which our collective perspective of reality can be easily manipulated and controlled if we accept all that is spoon feed to us without actually looking into it questioning it as well as looking at it from a spiritual perspective.

Our greatest protector is to be rooted within our own spiritual connection. To do all we can to protect our bodies the earth and each other through awareness and choices based not on what we have been told or sold as our guidelines on how to be healthy happy or free but rather based on information which has been with us since the start and will be with us till the end  .  I have been deeply saddened and moved by seeing many of those close to me and that I love and are my fellow beings in which I share this life with become ill, or lose vitality and there energy. More so when often it could have been avoided to a large degree. It deeply disturbs me  I live in a world in which profit seems to come before truth and or what is loving, kind or healing. Of course there are exceptions to this and there are many and the numbers continue to grow who are changing this one day one choice and one life at a time but when I see what this "  American Dream" and system actually do to people in the long run it causes all the fire within to burn.

I feel we are all in this together so of course when I see others suffer, that is connected to me, we are all connected. I do not believe in countries, colors, races, religions or even sexes . I believe we are all spiritual beings all interconnected with the earth, animals and all things . I believe that we are not alone, I do not know the names or how to define , I do not feel it is needed. For the things which cause us or allow us to harm each other and believe we are not all connected and not all really one are things which I hope to see dissolve so that love can penetrate and bring balance and wholeness back into our individual souls and lives as well as the world and all the things within it and beyond.  Personally the things that divide us are things which my spirit never seems to be able to embrace although I was taught to believe in them. I am unable...

Its quiet here, but I am awake.. I feel that its important for all of us to be connected to what is within, to our bodies our world and each other, beyond how much money we have, how many cars, houses, toys, titles, degrees, for those things can be useful and have a purpose and are tools, but without a connection to ourselves each other and beyond they can often just be distractions.  I have always noticed art music and messages that come through it and into the media the underground the internet.  When I see one it always inspires me, for the more of us out there working to change things one by one choice by choice day by the day the more the energy is shifted. I do not feel we are powerless I do not feel it is hopeless I don't feel it is any more dark then light. I  feel we can if we all go within and work from our source and use our energy we can collectively work to create balance.  But we have to do it collectively, I do not feel one being will be able to save us.. we must all work together ...

Yet human connection is being challenged in ways that are new to us,  I know that I want to and crave deep spiritual connections with those I am with, work with, play with, love, friends and family. Sharing a moment when two are present is magic and yet it seems that is something often lacking from our interactions .  We have all these screens and wires in front of our hearts, touching each other has so much baggage associated with it and yet touch and exchanging love through human connection is part of our form of communication. Without true deep communication many of us find ourselves feeling sad, alone, depressed, and then balance is lost.  Love is a powerful force if unleashed but in order to unleash it I have found I have to unlearn much of what I was taught.

I continue to have hope for us as a collective that we can find ways to bridge the things that keep us separated and grow deeper and richer spiritually which then opens our eyes hearts and minds to see what is real and what is a house of cards.

I built this space
But then it enclosed around me
My words unable to
Leave my throat
You never forget the truth
You just get better at lying
Such a true statement
The truth burns holes
Into everything within
Through skin rules
Limits conditions
Without truth there is no love
For love without truth
Without open honest deep
Communication slowly
Crumbels into dust
I have tried to live
My life with truth
I have tried to open the
Door to honest soulful
Deep real truthful communication
For without that
My throat closes
My heart swells
Up against my bones
Holding it in
The longer I hold it in
The less I am able to Breathe
 and as I breathe less
Everything shifts
The magic turns into
A memory and I find myself
Lost somewhere in
Another dream
I try to speak
To open to channel
To break through the walls
But all the words
Come back misunderstood
Twisted pushed back
And I then feel like I did
When I unable  to
Communicate with those
I love the most
I run out into the city
Feeling confined
Like a wild animal
Around me are millions of eyes
I cannot hide what I feel
For even if I cannot
Communicate truth to others
I know it in myself
I run to the ocean
To the edge of the city
In the dark under the moon and the stars
I long to wrap her around me
For in her I see truth
She reflects back more then
Words can ever explain
I have always felt one with nature
People sometimes I find it easy
Energies connect naturally
Walls fall away
Then that place of divine
Utter beauty and love
Comes forth
A divine union
That goes above and beyond
Religions rules countries and laws
Unexplained and beautiful that way
But when the walls grow
Dense with every word
Misunderstanding
Missed connection
Eventually I feel
As if I no longer belong
That I belong with the
Sky and the sea
The fire and the air
The earth and the stars
Love cannot me confined
Or defined
You cannot build a box around it
Tell it that if it doesn't live in there
Then it will be over or ended
Love is like the wind
It moves it flows
It changes shape and form
But is always there
But you cannot trap it
You cannot contain it
You cannot own it
You cannot keep it
In a little box
For it will vanish into the air
Move as it wills
Over the oceans
Through the walls
If you love someone
They say you set them free
If they return they return
If not then it doesn't mean
The love is gone
It is like the wind
Always there
Sometimes you hear it
Sometimes it sneaks
Silently around you
As I run to the ocean
I long to fade
Back into that place
Where there were no walls
No fear
Just love....