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James Landrith

James Landrith


Last Updated: 4/27/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 38
Sign: Virgo

City: ALEXANDRIA
State: Virginia
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/23/2004

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Thursday, January 01, 2009 

Category: News and Politics

Yesterday afternoon I saw the film "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" inspired by the short story of the same name authored by F. Scott Fitzgerald (http://www.online-literature.com/fitzgerald/jazz-age/6/ ). This caused me a bit of an epiphany as I sat in the theatre.

The moment that really clicked in my brain was when Button (as read by his daughter in his diary) said that sometimes the people who have the most significant impacts on our lives are those we don't remember well - as he unsuccessfully attempted to remember the name of an elderly friend and mentor. I can think of several of these people who significantly impacted my life in positive and negative ways.

One such person did impact my life due to a chance encounter that I could have never predicted. I don't remember her name. I can't see her face. I vaguely recall her stature and hair. Yet, she changed me in ways I still do not fully understand.

She made me doubt my trusting nature. She gave me insecurities and fears that I am still fighting to overcome. She has also taught me that I am much stronger than I could have ever imagined. Her callous act contributed greatly to the man I am today. I am not saying it was worth it - not at all. I would rather have learned more about myself in a different manner. 

She was not memorable. However, her choices that night have left a lasting impact. She manipulated me. She drugged me. She raped me. She hurt me. She has forever changed me. However, she does not own me.

And I can barely remember her...

Also posted here:

http://remodel4life.blogspot.com/2008/12/significant-impact-of-whats-her-name.html

http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3323/

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 

Category: News and Politics

I find rape apologists and victim-blamers fascinating and absurd.

 

I've been engaging in a heated discussion on one of my favorite discussion lists.  A poster shared a story about a woman who'd been gang-raped.  The rapists taunted her for being a lesbian and then attacked her. 

 

While the poster says he does not blame her, he goes on to say she should have known better than to have a rainbow sticker on her car.  Yes, she should have automatically expected that rainbow stickers would turn random groups of men into gang-raping machines.  He claims he is not blaming her in anyway, shape or form while simultaneously claiming she has "causal culpability".

 

Hmmm, "causal culpability" sounds a lot like victim-blaming in some degree to me.  He goes on further to continue to condemn the rapists while again asserting that it should not be so hard for her to just not have any bumper stickers on her car.  How is that not blaming her again?

 

I explained that rapists rape because they are rapists and enjoy the control and terror they exercise over their victims, not because bumper stickers control their minds.  I pointed out that they'd have likely committed the act regardless of what was on her bumper and had most likely been intending to do so before she even showed up at the scene.  The bumper sticker was just an excuse and she was a random victim.

 

He dances and sings and jumps and prances to the same tune - she is not to blame yet she is to blame, yet she is not - all over a bumper sticker.  Over and over again, he makes the claim that she should not have had the bumper sticker on her car while saying that he is not blaming the victim for having the bumper sticker which he claims is the reason she was raped - then calls me a liar for pointing out that his is indeed blaming the victim.

 

Then he denies it and makes the same assertion several times again.

 

Why stop at bumper stickers?  Why not say she should change her sexual orientation?  Or move out of the area?  Or pretend to be heterosexual?  Why not continue that logic train to it's natural, ridiculous destination?

 

I guess I didn't smoke enough crack today, because that just doesn't qualify as logic in my book.  He is clearly engaging in victim-blaming out of one side of his mouth, while claiming he is not out of the other side of his mouth.

 

Seriously, WTF is wrong with people?


Also posted here:  http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3321/

Saturday, December 20, 2008 

Category: News and Politics

Thugs With Badges Assault Child :

Four plainclothes Galveston police officers beat a 12-year-old girl in the head in her own yard, beat her with a flashlight, accused her of being a prostitute and threatened to shoot her puppy, while responding to a call about white prostitutes, the girl's parents claim in Federal Court. The girl, an honor student, who was dressed in gym shorts and a T-shirt when the cops beat her, is black. 

The girl's mom sent her outside to flip the switch on the breaker box because the house had lost power. She was doing that when four plainclothes cops emerged from an unmarked car and ran toward the girl. One cop said, "You're a prostitute. You're coming with me," the complaint states.

The defendant officers are Justin Popovich, Sean Stewart, David Roark and Sgt. Gilbert Gomez.

The terrified girl grabbed onto a tree and shouted, "Daddy, Daddy!" The parents ran outside and saw their daughter "hysterical and holding on to the tree with one arm; two officers were striking (the girl's) head, face and throat," the complaint states. "The officer who was holding Plaintiff covered her mouth. The officer was ultimately identified as David Roark."

Now, assuming that all of this is true, and I don't doubt it as this type of garbage occurs regularly but gets little to no national media coverage, someone should lose their liberty - for decades.  Guess what would happen if the child's father had beaten a cop's daughter and attempted to shove her in a van?  He would already be in the morgue.  No trial.  No jury.  No investigation.

Such behaviour by the jack-booted thugs who serve on police departments in this country is not uncommon.  That said, it never ceases to disgust me.  Further, rather than being real men and admitting they were wrong for hurting this poor child, these ridiculous shitbirds are attemtping to ruin this girl's life along with her father's life:

Three weeks later, according to the lawsuit, police went to Dymond's school, where she was an honor student, and arrested her for assaulting a public servant. Griffin says the allegations stem from when Dymond fought back against the three men who were trying to take her from her home. The case went to trial, but the judge declared it a mistrial on the first day, says Griffin. The new trial is set for February.

They are actually charging this girl with assaulting these big, brave men who beat her in her yard for no reason.  Let me say that again:  THE COPS WHO BEAT THIS CHILD BLACK AND BLUE ARE CHARGING HER WITH ASSAULT FOR HAVING THE AUDACITY TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST ABDUCTION BY MEN IN PLAINCLOTHES TRYING TO SHOVE HER IN AN UN-MARKED VAN.

Really.  Really.  REALLY.

As a civil libertarian, as a father, as a man, I cannot adequately express my disgust for Justin Popovich, Sean Stewart, David Roark and Gilbert Gomez.  Let's add William Helfand, the dickless wonder who is representing them to the pile.  Do I begrudge them the right to counsel?  No.  However, Helfand goes further than simple representation by endorsing the idea of punishing the girl and her father for defending themselves against four plain-clothes men in an unmarked van attempting to force the girl (after beating her black and blue and telling her she is a prostitute) into their van for the crime of being in her own yard in a pair of shorts.  What would you do?  I would hope you would defend your child and not make excuses for these "men" simply because they have been granted authority they clearly haven't earned.

These five individuals (lawyer included) may be males, but they are not men, and the four officers involved need to spend a nice long period of time in prison thinking about the difference.  Helfand is just plain lacking in humanity for his role in cheerleading the prosecution of an assault victim who now suffers from what appears to be PTSD related to the violent assault and near abduction at the hands of his big, brave clients. 

Mr. Helfand, how do you support imprisoning a girl for defending herself from what most people would reasonably assume was an attempt to kidnap and rape her?  They were in plainclothes.  The van was unmarked.  Several men grabbed her from out of nowhere and started beating her.  They told her she is a prostitute and then forcibly attempted to shove her in the van.

It has been a long time since I've been this disgusted.

Related links:

UPDATE: 

The Richmond Democrat now has a post up as well:  http://richmonddemocrat.blogspot.com/2008/12/something-we-should-all-condemn.html

Renee at Womanist Musings has blogged about it too:  http://www.womanist-musings.com/2008/12/if-you-black-girl-you-must-be.html

Also posted here:  http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3317/

Friday, December 12, 2008 

Category: Blogging

I am happy to announce that the DNS error that has kept The Multiracial Activist (http://www.multiracial.com/) offline for nearly a week has been resolved.  It will take several more hours for the new settings to snake their way across the internet.  However, my site activity reports confirm that some traffic is now getting through to the site again from servers on several continents.  If you can't access it now, please try again later.

Thank you for your patience during this annoying outage.  As always, thank you to Charles Ash of Bruin-ou.com for his assistance in getting to the bottom of this problem.

Sincerely,

James A. Landrith, Jr.
Founder & Publisher,
The Multiracial Activist
and The Abolitionist Examiner
http://www.multiracial.com

Also posted here: http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3308/


Tuesday, December 09, 2008 

Current mood:  angsty
Category: News and Politics

December 08, 2008

An Open Letter to the United States Congress:

   Demand Real Bailout Transparency!

Dear Member of Congress:

We, the undersigned advocates for open and accountable government, are writing to express our deep concern that the executive branch has provided no transparency into how taxpayer money is being spent and the decision-making process behind the financial bailout initiatives. We are also concerned that Congress has to date provided little oversight of these initiatives.

We applaud your decision to turn down the Treasury Department's request for a blank check, but nearly half of the $700 billion fund for the Troubled Assets Relief Program, or TARP, has already been distributed with very little transparency and almost no oversight. Recently, the public learned that an additional $800 billion is being spent by the Federal Reserve, which as an independent entity does not need congressional approval to lend money to banks or, in "unusual and exigent circumstances," to other financial institutions. To date, the cumulative commitment of taxpayer dollars to financial rescue initiatives is estimated to be $8.5 trillion.

We urge you to use your oversight authority to make the financial bailout more accountable to the American public, and your legislative authority to make it more transparent. We ask that you work with Congressional leadership to ensure that there is effective legislative oversight over the entire program.

Any credible solution to the economic crisis must be grounded in transparency and to ensure full accountability must include best practice whistleblower protection for public and private employees connected to the bailout. As suggested in a recent opinion piece in Legal Times, "the best way to protect the interests of taxpayers is by ensuring that what is done is fully disclosed to the public." Currently, however, the Department of the Treasury has been slow to notify the public of bailout money dispersals and has neglected to require recipients of bailout money to disclose how the money is used. We request that you direct that all reports mandated by the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008 be made publicly available in a usable format, whether the law currently specifies public disclosure or not.

Under public disclosure laws, citizens can only gain access to information actually collected by the government. Therefore, public accountability necessitates that you enact changes in law to require the Department of the Treasury, the Federal Reserve, and any other government entities involved in the bailout, to begin collecting information on certain aspects of how bailout aid is spent by recipients, including:

  • all lobbying/business contracts for firms benefitting from bailout aid;
  • all lobbying/business contract details for firms servicing bailout transactions; and
  • any securities or other instruments used as collateral for loans through the Federal Reserve.

We urge that Treasury and the Federal Reserve, and any other government entities involved in the bailout, be required to make such information available to the public in a usable format.

Bipartisan language to improve transparency and strengthen oversight of the bailout already exists. We urge that, as Treasury has modified its strategy away from primarily purchasing troubled assets, the Special Inspector General for the Troubled Asset Relief Program (SIG-TARP) be directed to conduct oversight on areas of the Treasury's program not related to the purchase of troubled assets and that you grant the SIG-TARP the authority to set up an office and hire staff. Legislation by Senators McCaskill and Grassley would expand the SIG-TARP's authority to conduct oversight of the Treasury Department's actions and expedite its staffing process.

Additionally, the Accountability for Economic Rescue Assistance Act, introduced by Senators Feinstein and Snowe, would bring some welcome improvements to transparency and accountability in the bailout by banning the use of bailout money for lobbying and political contributions and requiring firms receiving bailout money provide publicly-available detailed reports outlining how federal funds have been used. The bill would also require the establishment of corporate governance standards to ensure that firms do not waste taxpayer money on lavish expenditures and penalties for firms that violate those standards.

We ask that you build on these existing proposals to strengthen oversight and require greater transparency to enact legislation in the taxpayer's interest, including best practice whistleblower protection for public and private employees connected with the bailout.

The public deserves vigorous, timely, and easily-accessible disclosure of all details surrounding any government decisions regarding financial market problems. We ask that you honor this by making sure that robust and effective oversight occurs and that all relevant records are collected and publicly available.

Sincerely*,

Patrice McDermott
OpenTheGovernment.org

Duane Parde
National Taxpayers Union

Mary Alice Baish
American Association of Law Libraries

David A Keene
American Conservative Union

Lynne Bradley
American Library Association

Tom DeWeese
American Policy Center

Tim Phillips
Americans for Prosperity

Grover Norquist
Americans for Tax Reform

Timothy Wise
Arlington County (VA) Taxpayers Association

Prudence S. Adler
Association of Research Libraries

Roy H. Stewart
Bedford Taxpayers Association
Granite State Taxpayers

Chip Pitts
Bill of Rights Defense Committee

Terry Francke
Californians Aware

Terrence Scanlon
Capital Research Center

J. Bradley Jansen
Center for Financial Privacy and Human Rights

Sandra Fabry
Center for Fiscal Accountability

Timothy H. Lee
Center for Individual Freedom

Mark R. Spengler
Center for Law and Social Strategy

Barbara Anderson
Citizens for Limited Taxation

Anne Weismann
Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington

Doug Bandow
Citizen Outreach Project

Bob Edgar
Common Cause

Matthew J. Brouillette
Commonwealth Foundation for Public Policy Alternatives

Thomas Schatz
Council for Citizens Against Government Waste

Sue Udry
Defending Dissent Foundation

John Richard
Essential Information

Amber Gunn
Evergreen Freedom Foundation

John Hallman
Florida Taxpayers Union

Conrad Martin
Fund for Constitutional Government

Mark Cohen
Government Accountability Project

Malia Zimmerman
Hawaii Reporter

Gary Wolfram
Hillsdale College

Jon Coupal
Howard Jarvis Taxpayers Association (CA)

John Tillman
Illinois Policy Institute

Jim Murtagh, MD
International Association of Whistleblowers

Karl Peterjohn
Kansas Taxpayers Network

Andrew Davis
Libertarian National Committee

David A. Brady
Libertarian Party of Illinois

T. Lee Horne III
Libertarian Party of Louisiana

Patrick Dixon
Libertarian Party of Texas

Michael D. Ostrolenk
Liberty Coalition

Mark R. Caramanica
Marion Brechner Citizen Access Project

Richard Falknor
Maryland Center-Right Coalition

Ellen Smith
Mine Safety and Health News

Howie Morgan
Mississippi Forward

James Landrith
The Multiracial Activist

Stephen M. Kohn
National Whistleblower Center

Charles N. Davis. Ph.D.
National Freedom of Information Coalition

Tom Blanton
National Security Archive

Doug Kagan
Nebraska Taxpayers for Freedom

Jerry Cantrell
New Jersey Taxpayers Association

Brandon Dutcher
Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs

Sean Moulton
OMB Watch

Larry Siems
PEN American Center

Susan Maret
Progressive Librarians Guild

Danielle Brian
Project on Government Oversight

David Arkush
Public Citizen

Don Racheter
Public Interest Institute

John Judge
Real Democracy Project

Lucy A. Dalglish
Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press

William Westmiller
Republican Liberty Caucus

Paul Gessing
Rio Grande Foundation

John W. Whitehead
The Rutherford Institute

John Tsarpalas
Sam Adams Alliance

Samuel M. Slom
Small Business Hawaii

Dave Aeikens
Society of Professional Journalists

Douglas Newcomb, CAE
Special Libraries Association

Frances Brigham Johnson
Strategic Planning Initiatives

Ellen Miller
Sunlight Foundation

John K. Roberts
Taxpayers Union of Louisiana

Ben Cunningham
Tennessee Tax Revolt

Dane von Breichenruchardt
U.S. Bill of Rights Foundation

M. Royce Van Tassell
Utah Taxpayers Association

Toby Nixon
Washington Coalition for Open Government

Bill Will
Washington Newspaper Publishers Association

Rose Bogaert
Wayne County (MI) Taxpayers Association

Rafael DeGennaro
WhyCongressCantRead.com

*Organizations listed for identification purposes only

Tuesday, December 09, 2008 

Current mood:  angsty
Category: News and Politics
 For Immediate Release

Monday, December 8, 2008

For Further Information, Contact: Pete Sepp or Natasha Altamirano, (703) 683-5700

78-Group Coalition Led by Nation's Largest Taxpayer Organization Demands Greater Bailout Transparency

(Alexandria, VA) – Before another penny of the estimated $8.5 trillion in taxpayer money backing various bailout initiatives is spent, Congress must act to make the process more transparent to the public. That's the message a coalition of 78 organizations, assembled and led by the 362,000-member National Taxpayers Union (NTU) and OpenTheGovernment.org, sent in a letter to Congress today urging more accountability and oversight of financial rescue funds.

"We, the undersigned advocates for open and accountable government, are writing to express our deep concern that the executive branch has provided no transparency into how taxpayer money is being spent and the decision-making process behind the financial bailout initiatives," the letter begins. "We urge you to use your oversight authority to make the financial bailout more accountable to the American public, and your legislative authority to make it more transparent."

The signatories include representatives from groups across the political spectrum, including the American Conservative Union, Public Citizen, the Society of Professional Journalists, and the Sunlight Foundation.

The letter notes that nearly half of the $700 billion committed to the Troubled Assets Relief Program has already been distributed with very little transparency and almost no oversight – in addition to another $800 billion being spent by the Federal Reserve. The letter recommends requiring that the Department of the Treasury, the Federal Reserve, and other government entities involved in the bailout collect and make available to the public information on certain aspects of how bailout aid is being spent by recipients.

To expedite these improvements, the signatories suggest that Congress build upon existing legislation, such as a bill sponsored by Sens. Diane Feinstein (D-CA) and Olympia Snowe (R-ME) that would ban the use of bailout money for lobbying and political contributions. It would also require firms receiving tax dollars to provide publicly accessible detailed reports outlining how federal funds have been used.

"The public deserves vigorous, timely, and easily-accessible disclosure of all details surrounding any government decisions regarding financial market problems," the signatories conclude. "We ask that you honor this by making sure that robust and effective oversight occurs and that all relevant records are collected and publicly available."

NTU is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization founded in 1969 to work for lower taxes, smaller government, and economic freedom at all levels. Note: For more information, visit www.ntu.org or http://www.beyondbailouts.org.

-30-

108 North Alfred Street, Alexandria, Virginia 22314 Phone: (703) 683-5700 Fax: (703) 683-5722 Web: www.ntu.org

 

Thursday, November 27, 2008 

Category: News and Politics

When I told my story online about a rape I endured many years ago, I knew it would periodically spark debate and discussion threads at various places on the 'net.  After 11 years as an activist and online publisher, I've gotten used to that concept.  So, as I monitor my site activity reports weekly (like most site owners) for interesting incoming links, I usually click back and given them a quick read.

Over the last few days, a new forum poll on sexual assault at the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) has morphed into a discussion of female on male rape.  Interestingly enough, the person who started the thread is a woman who fought off a rapist, but is now calling into question the possibility of a woman raping a man.

(sigh)  Here we go again with the pre-conceived notions, sexist ideas and ridiculous bigotry attached to genitalia.  She goes down the old, worn path of repeating the oft circulated myths that an erection = consent, that women can't orgasm during a rape, etc.  Blah, blah, blah, myth, myth, myth, lie, lie, lie...

Fortunately and surprisingly, the vast majority of the posters on that thread are not letting her get away with it, contrary to the norm when an "authoritative" female voice decides that she knows everything about male biology.  Sorry if I sound a little bitter, but this ridiculous shit gets old fast.

I've not weighed in on the thread and I'm not going to either.  I don't need that aggravation in my life after dealing with so manyknuckle-dragging morons at Pajamas Media in July.  I did read the thread at JREF from beginning to end and I'm pleasantly surprised to see how many people actually "get it" and can discuss this topic without the childishness that seemed systemic at Pajamas Media.  Surprisingly, at least one other man came out with his story of being raped by a woman, another who endured CSA by his mother, in addition to several women and another man who talked of being raped by a male attacker.

If you want to read it (very strong trigger warning), the link is here:

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=129384

While I am thankful that telling my story is changing some minds and sparking a healthy debate, I'm still wracked with the familiar muscle tension in my arms after reading the thread.  I assume that will get easier with time...

This entry also posted at:

http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3297/79

http://remodel4life.blogspot.com/2008/11/edit-interesting-discussion-at-jref.html


Currently listening:
Tapestry
By Carole King
Release date: 1998-12-31
Thursday, November 20, 2008 

Current mood:  confident
Category: News and Politics

As long-time readers know, I am a rape survivor and only recently began to work on healing from that long ago trauma that I had repressed for nearly two decades. In late June, I told my story publicly online in the hopes that it would help me heal and possibly assist another person who had not yet found their voice.

Today, I received an email from a female rape survivor that I wanted to share with my readers:

"Hi, you don't know me but after reading your story and learning a bit more about you I wanted to know how brave and inspiring I think you are. As a female survivor I've only just started to tell people who don't have to know after 6 years. I know how hard that's been for me and I know how much ignorant people can add to pain with their wrong and often stupid opinions. I can only guess that a male survivor feels the same things a female one does and then some more because of social ignorance. I think you have shown extreme strength in sharing your story with the whole world. You are helping to raise awareness in a much denied area. You story will help survivors (male and female) everywhere,it will also help the loved ones of survivors understand that these things don't always happen how people expect. I am greatly moved by your actions,if you can be brave enough to tell the world then maybe I can be a little braver in my daily life. I had lots of issues with naming my rape,but I doubt I had as many as you. I also had to deal with doubt and the judgement of uninformed idiots,I imagine this has been more so for you. I think you are a very strong and brave person. I think you are an inspiration. I hope one day I can be as brave as you and do something to help raise awareness of this disgusting crime (I need to get a lot stronger first!). You are an amazing survivor and I wish you well on your healing journey."

On the days when I feel violated all over again and just want to scream at the top of my lungs at the inhumanity of worthless, victim-blaming rape apologists and enablers, I get a message like the one above.

And it makes my day. This is why I told my story publicly. This is why I endured the shamers, emasculators and apologists. This is why I will not cower in silence any more.

My correspondent has no idea how much her message means to me. When I spoke out, I was speaking for me. I was speaking for her. I was speaking for hundreds of thousands of silent survivors who have not yet found their voice.

And after 18 years of silence, I refuse to shut up for anyone anymore...

Also posted at:

http://remodel4life.blogspot.com/2008/11/inspiring-letter-from-survivor.html

http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3293/79/

 

Friday, November 07, 2008 

Category: News and Politics
Yesterday, I participated in a panel discussion on domestic violence and sexual assault. The event, titled "Our Love Should Not Hurt" was sponsored by the Alpha Chapters of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority and Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity at Howard University in Washington, DC. About 75 or so Howard University students were in the audience. Quite a few secondary survivors were there for their friends or significant others. About 1/3 of the audience was male. There were 5 female panelists and 1 male (me). Domestic violence was the first topic and I was happy to see it covered quite well to even include violence perpetrated by women against men and also verbal abuse. Several of the male students were very interested in the verbal abuse portion of the discussion. Been there, done that...

One young woman spoke about her friend who had emailed her about an attack she had endured several years prior. The survivor asked her friend not to ask her about the email or even acknowledge it in person in any manner. She just wanted her to know it had happened. The young woman broke down in tears several times while asking the panel how she can help her friend. I got a few minutes to speak to her after the event. She thanked me for speaking out. I thanked her for believing her friend. That part is so important - the believing. So many people are so willing to assume that someone they know would lie about being raped.

One of the questions was directed at me with regard to how a man would know if he had been raped. I told my story - the Cliff's Notes version - as part of the answer. I was not prepared for the audible gasps from both the audience and other panelists. I've gotten used to the idea of a female rapist as it happened to me, but I forget that it is not what people expect when they hear from a male rape survivor. They expect the rapist to be another male.

I was extremely nervous as this was the first time I spoke publicly about the rape. Everyone was supportive and after I was particularly touched by the kindness one of the other RAINN speakers showed me. This was surprisingly therapeutic (while simultaneously draining emotionally) and I look forward to working with RAINN on future outreach efforts.

Also posted at:

http://remodel4life.blogspot.com/2008/11/recap-our-love-should-not-hurt.html

http://jameslandrith.com/content/view/3273/79/
Sunday, November 02, 2008 

Current mood:  aggravated
Category: News and Politics
Here we go again - triggered and angered by the television.

I was watching one of my favorite shows - Life on Mars (new U.S. version of a BBC program). The plot very quickly went in a direction I didn't expect.

The main character, Sam, ends up being drugged and raped by a woman. She, like my rapist, presented herself as a "damsel in distress". He, like I, informed her that nothing but sleeping was going to happen as he, like I, was in love with someone else.

She then drugged him, restrained him and raped him while he was barely conscious or unconscious - that part is unclear. His memories of the night were shown in a drug addled haze of confusion and hallucinations meant to be both humorous and bizarre. While he was shown as disturbed (at least on some level) by the event, it is unclear whether he viewed it as rape.

Of course, the show didn't treat it like a rape in the slightest. His fellow cops - both male and female found it funny. Yes, getting drugged, restrained and then forced into sexual contact is just hilarious. While it was a plot device and not the focus of the show, it was still completely mishandled. This was an opportunity to make an important point, but it was instead used cheaply and badly.

Sadly, this is a recurring theme in movies and television. Recent examples include the rape of men by women in the movies "Wedding Crashers" and "40 Days and 40 Nights". All three examples ("Life on Mars", "Wedding Crashers" and "40 Days and 40 Nights") treat the actual rape like a joke. Why should I expect anyone else to treat it like the crime it is when that is message Hollywood sends?

Strangely enough, I was less triggered than angered by it. It so closely resembled my own rape that I very quickly connected to it. How could I not? To top it off, some of the reactions from other characters on the show mirrored some of the responses I've received.

Folks, possessing a vagina does not absolve a person for their actions where unwanted sexual contact is involved. Having a penis does not mean you can not be raped. Erections do not = consent. A woman forcing herself on a man does not = getting lucky.

WHY IS THIS SO DAMNED HARD TO UNDERSTAND?????