MySpace is obsolete.  It is the T-101 to the T-1000 of other stuff (or even the TX if you like that movie...eh, it was ok, I guess)

Anywhoozle,  I pretty much use MySpace for checking out bands and that is it.  I'm trying to distance myself from this place as it gives me the creeps now.  Accept it, Facebook is better.

So, I went ahead and set up a proper blog.  If you were a fan of reading the rants and raves of my bitter ass on here, please follow/sign-up for/stalk my new one @

***EDIT***
There was supposed to be a hyperlink here but for some stupid reason MySpace won't fucking work right and correctly link.  Sinking ship, indeed.

So here is the copy and paste...I'm sorry, but deal.

http://jorbams.blogspot.com

***END EDIT***

Here are some reasons to follow me in this jump:

-America needs this! Especially right now.  You know what I'm referring to.  (sex dangers)
-I am more clever (cleverer?  Fuck! I'm undone!) than your friends.  So I give you permission to long for me via a computer.
-(I use paraentheses a bunch!) () (I spelled paraentheses right on my first try!)
-Excellent stalk
-Easily stalkable
-More of what you loved here.  Plus I'll probably talk about stuff that will either interest you completely or bore you mostly (music, videogames, movies, TV etc)
-Date tips for womens (Dishes! Do them!)
-Date tips for guyz (Pick up the check, gents.  She'll thank you later, in the mouth.  With her penis).
-The possibility of late night posts about how lonely I am.  But then I remember pornography.
-Monkey torture (get the reference?  eh! EH!)
-and finally: assplay.


Do it, losers.

See you on the other side.

I have made a conscious decision to stop "borrowing" music.

I've been thinking about it, and I can't really think of a good reason to continue doing it.

Spending money on music that you like is a vote confidence in the artist(s) that created it. It says, in monetary form, that you enjoy what they do and that you would like to support them to continue to do what they do.

Here is the one asterisk: If it is a artist that is on any kind of "major label" or some kind of legacy act, go right ahead. Basically, who gives a fuck if you download the new Metallica or Guns n' Roses? Nevermind the whole debate as to the legitimacy/quality of their continued works, it just doesn't matter to an artist on that scale. No matter how much they cry about it and try and show you pie charts to prove that "music stealing REALLY DOES hurt us you guyzes!" No, it fucking doesn't. At that level of the "music game" albums are less an album of music and more of just another product in a line of other products to cover the bottom line of the up-front investment of the record label.

Legacy acts don't matter as well. The estate of Led Zepplin surely isn't going to go under if you download the hell out of "Zoso."

So with those two things out of the way, yeah, pay for music you like. Buy merch too. It all helps.

One could argue that at some points of a band's career that it is important to just get exposure so if someone burns a CD of that band's for all their friends, that that is worth it's weight in money. Well, yes and no, but mostly no. Sure, exposure never hurts, and it is much better than no one buying the CD at all. But it is just basic mathematics/economics: 3 people giving you money is better/more helpful than just one person buying your CD. Again, your money supports the artist to continue doing shit. More money is never a bad thing.

I will use my band as an example (but not as a justification): Whatever money we get, we put right back into the band. Getting paid for shows, merch money, album sales...it all goes right back in. For example, we recently just hit a milestone in a financial sense in that we now have enough money to get tshirts made. That money will go right back in as well...maybe to a new recording, maybe to order more merch, maybe to eventually get a trailer to haul our shit in. It all helps us continue doing what we do.

I'm sure this is at least somewhat representative of the majority of bands who aren't already rich/on a major label. They live on every single dollar they receive.

You could spend your money on a lot worse. Even in these dire times, why not spend your money on something someone put love and creativity into (unless you happen to be patronizing a band who is in it to make a buck/cash in on the latest popular genre...but that is a whole other discussion and hopefully you are discriminating enough to smell bullshit where there is, indeed, bullshit). Support art instead of some electronics corporation or some over priced tag on your clothing. I suppose, in this sense, that this spreads over to any kind of art, really. But, shut up, I'm talking about music.

I used to be a "chivalrous downloader." I would be ok with downloading an album or two from an artist I liked, so long as I owned at least one other album of theirs and/or bought some merch from them at one point, and/or paid to see them live at some point. I don't really want to subscribe to that philosophy anymore. It is still stealing and disingenuous. They could certainly benefit off of having more money to do what they do...which is apparently something I enjoy, so I should continue to keep supporting them.

Now one could use the argument of "well I'm poor and don't have enough money and downloading is free." That is the definition of "having one's cake and eating it, too." Tough. Nothing else in your life works like that. There is no free gas, no free food, no free clothing, so why should something that someone actually put some passion into be the exception. It's too bad, you just have to do without...or shit, maybe switch your budget around to make room for the consumption of music.

This argument excludes all TV and the majority of films out there, I believe. TV is free to begin with so it is utterly retarded that you have to pay to download it. And most films are so over priced. It is the independent films that should get your attention. Basically, anything that there isn't money behind already; things that don't have a bottom line already figured out. A studio will turn out anything and then have a bunch of shitty strategies to recoop their shitty losses. It is the privately/self funded films that should be given your consideration. It is in those cases that the film world mirrors the music world that I am discussing. They count on your money in a very direct way.

I'm stopping here because I find myself delving deeper and deeper into this. It is a very complicated subject but I think I've said enough to give a good "cliff notes" argument.

Essentially, I have been pretty hypocritical in my ways as far as media consumption and I am looking to rectify that. By no means is what I am discussing here anything along the lines of what someone like a Lars Ulrich might whine at you. Downloading does hurt artists but by no means in a way like that cunt is talking about. The hip hop artists and the Lars Ulrichi (plural for drum troll) and the other major label artists that whine about this shit are just either out of touch, greedy, or both. ...or they realize how disposable their music really is. I'm talking about artists who actually depend on economic support to continue to do what they and, apparently you, love.

So here's whats going on right now:

A geology lab course that is conducted by an old man from Madagascar (I say this only to let it be known that he has a bit of an accent that makes him even harder to understand, not because I'm some kind of "secret racist"), who, apparently, cannot speak above whisper volume, and who happens to be monotone in his delivery. In this class, we just had a test. A test in which the highest score in the class was a 76. Of course I failed it, along with many people much more smarter than me. What did the professor think of all this? Oh, well the kids must not have studied enough. Personally, I busted my ass for it...and that is what I got: an F. I'm sure at least one other person had to have studied what they would have deemed "sufficiently" for it and behold.

It's this fucking trend of keeping around/hiring in the first place, teachers that have no business teaching any size group of students. The man is admittedly brilliant and would be an amazing mentor to have. But he is not a good teacher at all. The college doesn't care because he's tenured and they still get their fucking money and blah blah blah. You CANNOT hear the man. A student asked if he could please speak up the first day of class and he said that he couldn't. HE COULDN'T?! Then why the fuck is your job the relaying of information to a room of students only to then test them on said relayed information?! Fuck.



My professor in my computer science class had to explain division to more than one student today.

No, not cell division. Or the division of various sects of a religion and then how that might change the political landscape of a country. No.

It was THAT division.

More specifically, it was how exactly 5 was divided by 2. In retrospect, I really have to say it was that whole "remainder" business that got really sticky.

Sweet fucking cuntery, these people are what our colleges are turning out. But I'm sure they are amazing at absorbing and then regurgitating information in a short-term fashion so I'm sure they're just cruising right through their higher education. And, as always, being able to turn off the buzzing, grimy 10-watt bulb flickering in your brain long enough to soak up 3 chapters of information you'll never use again in your life is much more an important skill to have than, you know, being creative or...knowing how division works.



As you can tell, it hasn't been the best of days so far. Perhaps I should have started trying at college a bit ago so I wouldn't still be here. No, that's stupid, Jordan's Brain. You come up with the craziest of ideas.


Bonus section (talking point format!):

- Why is it that someone who has been proven to be so fucking crazy, so manipulative, and so insincere is tolerated by so many people? If I may ask, what do they add to your life?

- Why is it that someone like me, an unabashed nerd/man-child feels like the most mature person in the fucking world when it comes to things like living up to your word, or, just growing some fucking balls and not being a coward? It isn't that hard and it saves everyone a shitload of time.

- Did Sarah Palin get ripped apart by wolves yet?

- (Upon looking at person next to me's laptop and the episode of Lost playing) When did the castaways get back to civilization? I stopped caring about that show after the 1st episode of the 2nd season. Have they jumped the shark?

- If you're a Republican, and you voted for Bush, do you realize how bad he fucked us yet? Do you HONESTLY grasp the fact that you had your hand in our current "funderstorm" of prosperity, yet? Like, in retrospect, do you see it yet? Just wondering.


Sorry, I'm sick, I was woken up many times during sleep last night, my coffee tastes like diarrhea (thanks Millersville "Starbucks!"), and I'm pretty sure I'm a head case.

So tomorrow is going to happen.

And from where I'm standing, you could vote for:

1) A man who will seemingly sell his soul for political gain, associating with people that he wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole a few years ago if only he could remember what the word "integrity" meant. Couple that with the fact that he has chosen to tie himself to one of the most retardedly evil fuckwits to grace our political landscape since...well, our current commander-in-wackiness.

2) Barack Obama.


What is special about this coming election is that it is going to create a good deal of "historical moments."

We may very well have the first African-American president. That really doesn't need any explanation as to why that is a milestone. We are going to have a direct hand in something very exciting.

This next bit is something that I've been thinking about for a little bit now. I've been a bit retrospective; a bit nostalgic. As soon as this election happens, a new historic moment will be created...but not the fun, puppies and sunshine kind of thing that I mentioned above.

After the events of Nov. 4th take place, you, some of you out there will have had a hand in creating history. You will have voted for arguably the worst president in American history; some of you, twice. Do we ever think about this? What our impact our actions have on history. That we will be laughed at when people look back? How could those cavemen have made such a stupid fucking decision? What the fuck was happening in the country at the time that made them vote for the same fuckstick...TWICE!?!?! You have made history. The most un-American, terrible, evil administration is on your head. From financial prosperity under Clinton to the current economolocaust, the worst breach of our freedoms on record with things such as the Patriot Act, and what will become one of the greatest American military failures of all time... what a fucking legacy. Nixon or Bush? Who sucked worse? That will be the only question remaining in the years to come. This part of our history will be the punchline of a really shitty joke. I hope it was worth it.

What's more? A vote for McCain tomorrow will also, sadly, cement your place in history as well. You will be making a landmark in the field of "I don't care how fucking retarded and incompetent the people who run this country are. Here's to hoping McCain lives through his presidency!" How the fuck is Sarah Palin not a deal-breaker for Republicans who also happen to be intelligent? The odds are statistically against McCain's continued health....there is a VERY good chance that we could have President Palin. How is that ok on ANY fucking level?! She has continually shown herself to be nothing but idiotic, incompetent, hypocritical, and downright evil. A creationist? A corrupt public official? A shitty fucking roadside salesman panderer? A fear monger? Do we know no limits on how low we can go? Where/when the fuck will people call bullshit on this?

We will be remembered as a people who made quick, poor decisions out of fear and ignorance. We will appear as feeble-minded yokels who would believe anything a politician's PR team led us to believe. We will be duped. We will realize our mistakes; some of us already are. But most of us, most of us, will be dead and gone. Blissfully unaware and steadfast in our "assurance" that we did whatever was necessary to keep the terrorists in their caves, our freedoms hostage to our "security," socialism locked away in that scary, dark land known as Europe, our gays from ever getting married, and the Iraqi peoples "free." We will be a nation of morons: mouth-breathing when we quote the Bible, eyes filled with wonderment when we try and comprehend why trying to force a democracy in the middle of a shatter belt wasn't the best idea, especially when it was based on a lie. We will ride that fuckin' short bus into the annals of history.

Onward and upward.

Did that just happen?

As I sit here in a hotel room minutes after leaving a wrap party for what can only be described as a unique/stressful/amazing/maddening/tiring/depressing/thrilling/stressclusterfuck/monumental/lifechanging sumer camp known as making a movie, I wonder if it is all real or was it a dream/nightmare?

I know that what I just said about this experience being a dream is quite hackneyed but it really is the only thing I can say about these past few months.

Let me provide an outline of sorts to give you a broad idea of what happened and then I will elaborate afterwards.

My last two months consisted of:

- minimum 12 hour days, 6 days a week for absolutely no pay. many days were closer to 15 hours. 90-100 hour work weeks at times.

- going home only to go to sleep to make a daily commute from lancaster to harrisburg.

- driving and befriending ernest fucking borgnine, anne meara, piper laurie, sunkrish bala, amber benson, clay bravo, and doris roberts.

- standing for 12 hours straight yelling "picture's up", "rolling", and "cut".

- figuring out how to move dozens of tightly parked cars in the middle of the woods out of the shot of the camera, quietly, in between takes, and not fuck up by ruining a take or damaging cars that didn't belong to me.

- no more than 3 days where i got a full night's sleep (8 or more hours).

- being yelled at by 4 different cranky famous people to get them home after they worked longer than their contract stated

- clearing out an abandoned mental hospital (well, two of them actually), both un air conditioned, to get them ready for shooting. this meant we had to make trashed, abandoned hospitals look like they were still functional. myself and the other interns scrubbed disgusting toilets, removed dead things, moved 8 houses worth of furniture, landscaped, painted numerous hallways. there were days when it was so hot inside that we were going out into the 95 degree outside to cool off....


Ok. I'm stopping the list because it looks like i'm getting into too much "hey look at how much more i've suffered than you." The thing is, there is so much more shit to all of this. Like I can't convey what it was like to be solely responsible for making sure a trashed mental hospital looks like it could be a functional retirement home. Like, a film crew, and actors were coming in to film something, fuck, spend money to make a movie at a place that myself and 5 other interns prepared. That is pretty fucking amazing. When everyone got there, no one complained. We did it ourselves. We made the set of a movie. Well, we set the foundation.

When the film started, I was tasked with transporting talent back and forth from set to their hotels. Many of these trips were initially filled with small talk and surface pleasantries but they quickly became, especially with Ernie (which he made sure everyone called him...no Mr. Borgnine for him), they became conversations that I'll remember for the rest of my life. I had meaningful talks with a man who is a living legend, an Academy Award winning actor. A man who is one of the nicest and most sincere people I've ever met. He was genuine and he took an interest in what I had to say. And I would be a fool to not give him the same in return; a man who has had more life experiences than I will ever have. This became the case with Piper Laurie as well. She looked forward to our trips together, our time together, and I felt the same way. Heh, I got to shoot the breeze with fucking Carrie's mother...

There is so much trying to explode out of my brain right now. Come to think of it, I have no idea why I'm writing this. I think it is because I really can't share this with anyone else except the other interns... Like, I could share things with the rest of the crew of the film, but it was the interns that were there the longest. I need to get this down on (electronic)_paper so it can be preserved. I was at a place that was really my new, temporary home. I was there more than I was at my place in lancaster, my bed, my car. It was HOME. Now it's gone. The people I lived at home with are gone (most of them, anyway).

The crew I worked with was amazing. There are some extremely talented people that I had the honor of working with. I worked with people who have become (and will hopefully stay) close friends. I have worked with people whom I thought hated my guts yet (tonight) told me they would hire me for anything/call them if I come to Los Angeles/will call me if they are doing something in the area. I'm walking away from this with something that would destroy most any other resume. I have had to do the work of 5 different people...all for free...I have so much experience in so many different aspects of...well...fucking anything. I'm walking away with at least 3 letters of recommendation (including one from Ernie himself). Not trying to be boastful, I'm just proud of the impact I apparently had on people, people whom I respect.

Ok, it's been about an hour since I started writing this and I feel that it still has no direction and is just a bunch of rambling (true). I guess, if anything, I wanted to let the few friends I have know that I wasn't trying to be a dick and shrug anyone off, or not return calls, or not get in touch with anyone. I literally did nothing but work on this film and sleep for about two months. And it has been worth it.

I'm ending it here. If anyone is really that interested in my stupid life, I will certainly tell you more. Oh yeah, IMDB "Another Harvest Moon" to check out the people I've had the honor of working with.

This has really been something unique and amazing that I won't ever forget.

So over the past month or so my parents have been cleaning out my room at home. I guess they're turning it into an abbitoir or war room or apocalypse bunker or something. Anyway, they've had me go through a bunch of my old shit that they've pulled out. I am tasked with deciding what to keep and what to junk.

This past weekend, I came across a bunch of CDs that I haven't seen or heard in years as well as my yearbooks from high school.

It was this crazy rush of shit that I forgot, as I sorted through these things. Flipping through my yearbooks was crazy. Looking at what people wrote in it (people that I haven't seen in over 5 years) was kind of wacky: in jokes that have been forgotten, requests to keep in touch, people telling me that i am(was) crazy, etc.

I seem like a completely different person than I was back then... I certainly got uglier.


Going through the CDs was pretty intense. It was this rush of nostalgia and memories. Listening to them just heightened those sensations. Let me get two immediate talking points out of the way:

1. What the bloody fuck happened to AFI?! I dug up my copy of "Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes" and it still rocks just as hard as it did back then. What the fuck did they do to themselves?! They're absolutely terrible now. They used to be this super intense melodic hardcore band now they're just....I don't even know.

2. I have a soft spot for MxPx. As much as I despise any kind of Christian metal or Christian punk rock (well, any kind of music that clings to a religion for some useless reason, really)...I just can't get mad at these guys for it. Ok, let me revise things. Everything after "Slowly Going the Way of the Buffalo" got pretty terrible by these guys. But Sweet Jesus ( and He is pretty sweet in this case) I love love love "Life in General." It's just so fast and so awesome.

Some other honorable mentions are: Spazz, Bad Brains, Rufio, Fenix TX, Green Day's Insomniac, and The Ataris.

It was a rush of summer vacations, hang outs after high school or on the weekends playing Goldeneye on N64, or even my first year or so of college. They reminded me of people I haven't seen in years and all the times spent together.

It is crazy to think of how things are so different. I've been alive long enough to have my life be able to be divided into sections. This past weekend was a visit to 1998 - 2002.

I guess everyone goes through shit like this. And I bet a lot of people inevitably get so caught up in the nostalgia that they eventually utter something like "things were so much easier back then" or "I wish I could do that all over again." I think there is both some intelligence and some foolishness in thinking like this. I know that there are things I wish I could have done differently. Sure, there would have been some people, places, and things that I would have steered clear of. I would have maybe approached my academic career quite differently. But all this really comes down to nit picking. I like my memories. Even a lot of the bad ones are worth having. It's cool to be able to look back...but I think you can do that to a fault.

I think I was more susceptible to be swept over by nostalgia because things are pretty stressful at the moment. I guess you have even more of a selective memory when it comes to remembering more of the good ol' times than the bad ol' times when things are kind of poopy right now. But there was stress then, bad times then, shitty people then, so it's really just some edited scenario your brain is making.

To keep this post from getting too long in the tooth, my point is: it's pretty amazing that so much can rush back just by hearing a song or looking at a picture. It's quite the experience where you start thinking one day about just how much things have changed and you can't really pinpoint when this change happened. It kind of kicks you in the ass.

My next section of bed room to go through is the stacks upon stacks of video tapes that have been made over the years. I predict:

-Pubescent voice changes suffered by Conor and Jordan

-Footage of sketches or bits that we thought were hilarious at the time but are things that would have cemented our virginity/got us institutionalized had anyone outside of our circle of friends gazed upon our lameness (this is still applicable to anyone viewing them today).

-Insufferable attempts of Conor and I to understand our respective musical instruments.

-Glen getting hit by things...hours and hours of footage of Glen getting hit by things.


I'm sure I'll have a whimsical, teary-eyed post for you soon about "the best years of my life making videos with my friends...the glory days...you know."

Watch out.

Ok. So I got to play Grand Theft Auto 4 continuously over the weekend. For fear of Sony ninjas watching over "teh blogosphere" I will not reveal the specifics of how I was able to do this.

So what should have been just me and my anonymous cohorts passing around the controller to cause mayhem and stay alive as long as possible on a lonely Friday night, turned into my logging of roughly 10 - 12 ish hours of gameplay time on the PS3 version of GTA 4 over the course of the weekend (well the controller passing fun-times happened as well).

I'm going to go pick up my reserved copy of the game for Xbox 360 on Monday night yet I have already logged a major amount of time on another system. A conundrum? No. Pointless? No. Sad? Well...you have me there.

What I'm trying to say is that this game rules so fucking hard that repeating those 10 - 12ish hours will be an absolute fucking blast. Yes, the game is that good.

Take any kind of hype that you bought into/excitement that you may have felt for Halo 3 and flog yourself for feeling like that. That game was ok, with good multiplayer but...meh...I'm sure we can all agree that as far as single player goes it was awesome at first...meh after a month or so had passed. Yeah, this is the game that everyone should be hyped for (and judging by preorders it looks like people are). But I really can't convey how awesome this game is...

But, like an idiot, here I go:

Let's get something out of the way. The graphics in this game are amazing. The sound: amazing. The physics: oh sweet christ the physics. Let me just say that ragdoll + cars equal pure nerd bliss. Within the first hour of playing me and my band of sad man-children were cheering/laughing our asses off at the random hilarity that ensued. Basically, all the technical shit is amazing. The Euphoria engine rules and is probably the best thing to happen to gaming since someone put buttons on a controller.

Here's my main talking point. The story. No, I haven't finished it, but what I've experienced has left me craving more. It's so well written and so expertly acted. Niko, the main character does some really bad shit (mostly under your control) but there's something about him that makes the player connect with him. That may sound like some fruity, ham-fisted nerd bullshit but seriously, the dialogue just makes these "people" seem like "people" (the real, squishy kind). The story is funny, sad, dramatic, and always entertaining. Rockstar completely outdid themselves. Just awesome.

The other big thing is the city/world Rockstar has created. An example: the game has a fucking internet. No, the game isn't HOOKED UP to the internet, they made THEIR OWN internet. There are dozens of fleshed out web pages dripping with satire and humor, taking the piss out of the real world interweb. Earlier tonight I was browsing MyRoom.com checking out the various stereotypical profiles: there was the emo-douche scenester, the party girl with slutty pictures complete with comments from dudes saying things like "you're beautiful, i'm a photographer, i could take some pictures of you." There is an online dating service where you can connect with loose and mentally "off" women who then become people you go with dates on in the game (part of the deep, excellently executed "relationships" gameplay). Fuck, you can log on to a fictional website to use fictional money to buy a fictional ring tone for your fictional cell phone.

There is TV in Liberty City. I spent 10 minutes straight watching "fake" TV. My favorite show is "Republican Space Rangers." When the re run came on, I went and got Conor so he could watch it. I watched some Ricky Gervais stand up. I watched commercials for "America's Next Top Hooker." There are radio ads, posters, tv commercials, web ads for movies that exist in the world....its fucking insane. You can steal a cop car, access their car's police database computer and look yourself up to see if you're on their most wanted list. This shit is bonkers. Come Monday, you'll understand.

Ok. There are some issues. Frame rate suffers when there are a bunch of (amazing looking/sounding) explosions going on, but that can be forgiven, seeing as how they have a huge fucking city streaming off the disc. The cover system works awesome and is super fun 90% of the time but occasionally you'll have it freak out a bit. Also, the new wanted level system is really, really cool...but it seems sometimes that its just random luck as to how fast (if at all) you lose the cops. Hard to explain but you'll see soon enough.

Ok. I think I'm done. IGN gave this game straight 10's. They haven't given a game that score since 10 years ago when they gave it to Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I completely agree with them. Fuck Halo. Fuck Call of Duty. Hell, fuck Bioshock...(maybe). These games don't even come close to the amount of fun GTA 4 is. Monday can't come soon enough.




Oh yeah, and then there is multiplayer too. Sadly, I didn't do any of that so as to not get zapped by Sony (if they even care).





I just read over the post and, I believe, that to a "normie" or "non-game player" this post may seem a little sad and pathetic. Now, they may have a point, as much as that point is rooted in the related acknowledgment that they are, in fact, a cunt. But, I really don't think it is. Since Grand Theft Auto 3 these games have been more than just games. They are a sociologist's wet dream. These games have been so jam-packed with satire and social commentary as well as being homages to great films. All of the games have awesome soundtracks as well. Rockstar puts out these "time capsules" of our society and they just also happen to be video games.

If you think I might be too cheesy in this post, maybe you're missing the point. Maybe, shit, you are the lame one. Maybe, just maybe you're missing out on something. GTA 4, specifically has better writing than 95% of TV out there right now. You get tons of music, story, amazing gameplay, tons of shit to just dick around with, all for 60 bucks. It is literally over 40 hours of entertainment that we're looking at here. Why are movies and TV more valid? Just because you don't have the stigma of having a controller in your hand and "pretending"? Maybe you're missing out, skeptic that I'm making up in my head.

The point of these last two paragraphs is: This game would honestly be worth going out and buying a Xbox 360 for (PS3's are still a bit on the expensive). It is that good. Trust Uncle Jordan.





---nerd transmission terminated---

So here we sit on the morning after the day that Pennsylvania joined the glorious ranks of Florida and Ohio.

This was the first time I've voted since I became the legal age. It looks like this will be the last time that I vote for a very long time.

You see, I think that voting for someone just because they're _____ (female, black, republican, christian, Morgan Freeman) is utter bull shit. I also think the whole "pick the lesser of two evils" is utter shit as well. The whole vote for "not Bush" thing didn't work too well for us, did it?

Also, and I just read this in the Bible (so it has to be true). If you vote for Nader, you need to do some grinding to level your brain up. It's a two party system. Yep, the system is broke and no one really wants to deal with it but you need to accept this fact and move on. If you're too granola crazy left to vote for the Democrat, just don't fucking vote.

I hate that there is this retarded need to "vote no matter what." "Rock the fuckin cockin' vote yea! Don't be a fag, vote the fuck out of something!!" Way to inspire a bunch of people who know fuckall about politics, let alone the candidates, to come out and cast a vote that counts just as much as...you know...someone who tried to learn...you know, shit about the candidates and make a semblance of a educated decision. If you don't know anything about politics and/or whats going on, don't vote. It's that simple.

But Jordan, the crazy rednecks will vote for the uuuuuubeerrrrrr lamest candidate ever!

Good point, fictional blog-troller who annoyingly spelled/used the word "uber." Yes, they will vote for someone who hates your interests. So here is the other prong to my heretofore unknown two pronged philosophy on voting: FUCKING READ/WATCH/HEAR SOMETHING. Shit christ son, go and read some website (fuck, any semi-professional news site) and get informed. It's not that hard.

There's civic duty and then there is metaphorically throwing darts at a few 8 X 10 headshots and hoping for the smallest clusterfuck.


So yeah, today was a very demoralizing day for me. But I guess that is to be expected.

Here's the thing: I don't care that Hillary went after video games like Grand Theft Auto. It's not like I'm just some shallow asshole who exclaimed "I love video games! She bad take video games away boo!! Fuck what anyone else cares about, I just worry about what me care good for yes!" No, despite how much that above rambling quote so exactly matches how I talk in real life, what bothers me about Hillary is what that action of hers symbolizes; what it stands for.

It means that she has set a precedent for herself to jump on any hot-button, band wagon issue to drum up votes or gain public approval. If that is the way the wind is blowing, then let it be not said that she does not blow, to paraphrase one of the best shows ever. So far I haven't seen anything like that in Obama. I just see sincerity and a man who talks to us like we're intelligent adults.

Oh well. Here's to hoping that wacky broad gets thunderfucked at the convention.




Ok heres some nerdy stuff:

If you like insane, lightning fast wit coupled with painfully accurate/entertaining reviews of video games look no further than Zero Punctuation

Thanks to Johnny Engler for the heads up on this one. Shit, even if you don't like video games, give this a view, the guy is just insanely hilarious.



Another thing: I picked up the Flight of the Conchords CD today. Here is the thing that struck me: The CD will not net them any new fans. Then again, the CD is probably intended ONLY for fans. The songs, well, many of them, just don't work out of context of the show. Some stand on their own, yes. But many need scenes from the show and/or plotlines recalled by the listener to be enjoyed. Overall though, the production value is slick and the little changes they put in each song are great. It's a must-own if you're a fan. It just kind of struck as interesting as how good these guys are at weaving music into a show that the songs die once isolated and played for a newbie to the two bros.


I'm off. Later kids.

Ok. So if there has been something I've learned in the past few days, it's that it is completely uninteresting to listen (read) to (about) someone bitch about themselves and/or their problems. Don't get me wrong, I'll help a friend in need, but there is just something about whining in an electronic medium. Just...bleh. I've been guilty of this and for that, I apologize. I am an asshole, but I'm sure most of you know that.

So here we go. On to me actually writing about something.

I want to keep this post relatively short as I also realize that it is way too hard/pointless to scroll through someone's long-winded post about "thisandthat." I've determined that the only way you will read through someone's whole word vomit, blogocaust (trademark in progress) is if you want to fuck the writer of said post. That is the ONLY reason you'll put up with their rambling. ...This is hitting too close to home.

Ok. Fuck. I got side tracked. Anway, I wanted to give my two cents on the recent comments Obama made about small-towners (fuck you, i know you care about my opinion now sit there quietly and be polite to me). I guess if you haven't heard of this yet and need some context go to the Times, or CNN, or Fox News even, to get caught up.

Ok, first off: He's 100% fucking right.

Stupid, small minded people cling to their vices or their "opiates" because it's easier than dealing with their real problems. It's much easier to blame being a shitty person on someone else rather than blaming yourself for being a shitty person. "Immigants! I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them!"

I'm not going to touch on religion here as I want to be respectful but he is right about it: people cling to religion for solace. That really isn't something up for argument.

The guns part: whatever. This country is gun crazy, and even moreso in small towns. I'm from one, I know.

Now, what he said was a generalization and I think it was really stupid of him to say it exactly because of what happened. It gave dumbfucks a reason to pigeonhole him. It's a stereotype but every stereotype is based in at least a shred of reality. Its a shame that this one is so correct and includes so many.


Yeah, he shouldn't have said it. People don't like hearing the truth. It was a dumb move.

However, what I REALLY want to talk about is fucking Hillary's "reaction." Do any of you honestly buy her "down fuckin' home, let's fuck a flag and drive a truck to the gun rodeo" fucking bullshit? Are you really that stupid? Is anyone that stupid? To see her sit there and talk about how she felt the lord in her and shit? For her to talk about her grandfather teaching her how to shoot out in the country for some down-home style American gun fuckfest (in PA, ironically)? What the fuck is this: a Jimmy Dean sausage commercial or a political campaign?

This is just a testament to how fake this bitch is. She supported gun control for years but as soon as she sees a window to sell out for a potential jump in the polls, she can't put on a bikini and pose for a "sexy gun sluts 2008 calender" fast enough. That's conviction for you right there. That's fucking sincerity.

Haha wow, see how much I started cursing there? I guess I get worked up over this.

So yeah. HE shouldn't have said it even though he's right. I know he's not talking about you or I, he's talking about those who choose ignorance, complacency, and fear over trying to pull themselves up by their boot straps. Those who voted for Bush even though they're dirt fucking poor (people he wouldn't be caught fucking dead with) because he hates them fags and won't take their guns away; those who are willing to sacrifice important shit just so they can tell others who to fuck, what to think (or not think), and make sure them damn mexicans fuck the shit off.

SHE will apparently do anything to get someone's vote even if that sacrifices such trivial things as ethics, sincerity, and a fucking backbone.

Wow, I'm polarizing.

I just started writing a post, stopped, erased it, started writing something different, stopped, and erased that one as well. What the fuck?

I have a lot of guilt.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm barely a person.

I have a lot of regret.



There, I delivered the gist of the post without fucking rambling.

Hooray.

Don't you regret spending the precious seconds it took to read this?