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Last Updated: 6/17/2008

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 29
Sign: Scorpio

City: Joburg
State: Gauteng
Country: ZA
Signup Date: 10/4/2006

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Monday, June 16, 2008 
South African Slang Words

Ag ('A*g')
A multi-purpose word, pronounced like the ach in German. "Ag, no man" (sign of irritation). Can precede any sentence for various effects, such as the more neutral, "Ag, I don't know." Used by some people as a stand-alone expletive.

Ahoy
(Greeting) "Ahoy!" Lank younger surfers use this old mariner's greeting. Not sure why. Also aweh, howzit, yooit, hoesit, yo.

Aikona (Aikõna)
(No way, absolutely not). From indigenous Nguni language meaning "No". Sometimes pronounced "Haikõna"

Aita! ('Ay-tah')
(Greeting) "Aita brah!" Originated in the townships among the youth, and still used. It's common among politically correct (PC) people. Rabid racists in the past have miraculously become PC people.

Avo
(Abbreviation for Avocado)

Aweh ('Ah-wear')
(Greeting) "Aweh my bru" (Hello my friend) Also howzit, yooit, hoesit, yo.
B
Babalaas ('Bub-ba-lars')
The hangover from hell, fondly called a "Barbie". The Babalas is no mythical beast. But look at yourself in the mirror and you'll wonder as you examine that furry tongue slithering in a mumbling, parched mouth, puffy eyelids scraping bloodshot eyeballs. Comes from the Zulu word ibhabhalazi.


Bakkie (Like "lucky")
(Pickup truck in US, "Ute" in Australia) Many people own bakkies in South Africa, particularly in the rural areas. "That bokkie and her ballie parked off on the back of the bakkie." (That pretty girl and her father sat on the back of the pickup truck)

Bergie (bêr*gee)
(Alcoholic hobo who hangs out on the streets of Cape Town) The word Bergie comes from the Afrikaans "Berg" (Mountain) of Table Mountain, where they used to live. Some still do, in bushes or caves. Many stay in the city these days. You seem them huddled in corners at night, wrapped in a blanket, wrapped around a bottle of booze.

Biltong
Afrikaans – from original "bul tong" – bull's tongue. Known as beef jerky in the US. This is specially prepared dried raw meat, made from beef, venison or Ostrich.

Biscuit
(Cookie, twit) Yes, would you believe. Where else but in South Africa, where a word can mean a small crunchy cake leavened with baking powder or an insult aimed at a twit or a fool. In America, a biscuit is a scone with no sugar. In South Africa, a biscuit is actually a cookie. Some favourites are Marie, Romany Creams, Nuttikrust and Eet Sum Mor. "John, you biscuit!"

Blaps (Blups)
(Afrikaans – "Mistake") "Oops, I made a blaps."

Bobotie
Malay dish, but has become "traditionally Afrikaans". Made with spicy mince, raisins, spices and yellow rice. It is baked in the oven with a couple of eggs broken on top. Delicious. Try it some time.

Boer
Afrikaans – "farmer". Used to refer to any (conservative) Afrikaans speaking person.

Boerewors (vorse)
Farmstyle sausage or "wors". (Literally, "Farmers Sausage"). It is a spicy sausage made from hundreds of secret recipes all over the Platteland and beyond. It is consumed in vast quantities on braais all over the country. Boerewors is even sold in places like Australia, Canada and New Zealand to homesick expats who have done the "chicken run", ie, emigrated for fear of compromised lifestyle.

(The) Boerewors Curtain
Any Afrikaans speaking district, usually rural. See "Boerewors". (Usually not the most flattering reference, although all South Africans love to eat Boerewors! Benoni & Pretoria.
Braai (as in "High")
(Afrikaans - Barbecue (US) or Barbie (Aus))Probably the biggest semantic gift given to the world by South Africa. You make a braai with wood in a metal drum or between bricks. You cook your boerewors, steak, lamb chops and sosaties on it. With your meal you eat mielie pap, salads, rolls and other stuff. You drink a Castle beer.

Bunny Chow
Indian or Malay curry inside a hollowed out loaf of white bread. Surfers from Durban grew up on this food. You get served the curry in the bread, with a square chunk taken from the inside, which you can use to dunk in the curry. Best when the bread is fresh. Bunny chow can also refer to "slap" (soft) chips in bread.

C
Cape Doctor
The southeaster howls across the Cape Peninsula in summer, often forming a whispy, creamy white cloud that rolls over Table Mountain in the shape of a "table cloth". The name is self explanatory. Because it blows for up to a week or more at a time, often at gale-force strength, the wind blows all the pollution away. The air is beautifully clear and crisp in the wake of a southeaster.

Chips
1, Warning. "Look out!" Someone will yell it just before the lip at Cave Rock renders you senseless, the bouncer's fist greets your jaw or the "boere come and bust you for smoking dagga" (the cops catch you smoking dope). If a school boy is smoking a cigarette in the toilet, his friend will "keep chips" for him. In other words, keep a lookout for the teacher.
2. French Fries (also referred to as "slap chips" (with "slap" as in "pup" – Afrikaans for "soft", "not stiff".
3. Potato Crisps

Tjommie ("chômmy")
(Originally Afrikaans - Mate, friend, bru) Slightly old fashioned Afrikaans word that originates from the quaint Victorian word "Chum". Not to be confused with chumming, when you throw gore into the water to attract sharks. That's not a lekker way to treat your chinas, especially if they are surf "tjommies".


D

Dik (as in "dirk")
(Afrikaans – Thick, beefy, big, full) A person can be dik or you can get dik after a big meal. "That rugby player is lank dik" (That rugby player is especially big)

Dinges ('Ding-us')
(Afrikaans - Thingamabob, wotzit, whatchamacallit) In any rural town in South Africa, you might overhear the mechanic say to his colleague, "Johannes, pass me the dinges wot you screw on the top of the carburettor."

Dof ('Dorf')
(Afrikaans – "not bright", "dull") Stupid. Dunce. Someone who is dof, is not necessarily that way all the time. It is often used to describe a temporary loss of brain cells.

Dorp ('Dorrrp')
(Afrikaans - small town) Don't be confused when someone says, "Let's go for a dop in that dorp."

Dwaal ('Dwarl')
(Afrikaans - Dreamlike state, confused) This word describes that vacuous, blank state a person gets into sometimes.

E
Eina (Ay-nah)
(Afrikaans - Ouch) Widely used. You can shout "Eina!" in sympathy when a shark haps your buddies' buttocks while surfing in the Kei.

Eish ('Aysh')
(Zulu expression) Surprise, bewilderment, shock. "Eish. Voetsek! I am not sleeping with you!"

G
Gesuip ('G*esayp')
(Afrikaans - Drunk). Humans "drink", animals "suip" – to be gesuip is to be drunk to the point of aversion.

Goose
(Girlfriend, women)


H

Hey
Used for emphasis. "So you're a surfer, hey?" or on its own as a way of saying "excuse me?" or "pardon?"

Hose
(Laugh) "He was hosing himself when he fell in the pool."

How's your mind?
(Are you mad?!) This question, often in exasperation or irritation, refers to the mental stability of the subject, who has probably done something stupid, idiotic or irritating.

Howzit
The famous South African greeting. Short for "How is it?" Try and refrain from saying, "It's fine, thanks". This will only lead to a funny look. A suitable reply is: "No, fine", which actually means "Yes, I am fine". The word "no" is often taken to mean "yes". A real Afrikaner might reply to a "Howzit", with this bewildering response: "Ja, well, no fine". This is merely a more emphatic but long-winded version of "No, fine". Also ahoy, aweh, yooit, hoesit, yo.


I

Isit? (Izzit?)
This conversational word is used widely and in response to just about anything. Derived perhaps from the English way of saying "Is it really?" If you don't feel like participating in a conversation with a dik ou at a braai, but don't wish to appear rude, just say "Isit" at appropiate gaps in his description of how he decapitated a Kudu with his bare hands.

J

Jislaaik
(Afrikaans exclamation) Gee whizz!

Just now
(In a little bit) Universally used in South Africa, it means that the action will get done "eventually", but it might mean "never". If someone says he will do it "just now", be warned. It might be in 10 minutes, 10 hours or never. "I'll clean my room just now, Ma." If someone says "now now", you're making progress. It won't be done immediately, or instantly, but probably less than 10 minutes, barring distractions that relegate it back to "just now".
K

Klippies and coke
(Brandy and Coke) Named after Klipdrift, a popular, cheap brandy.

L

Larny
(Fancy, designer clothes, snob, friend) A number of variations on a word denoting someone who is well-dressed, or designer clothes, or a well-to-do function.
For coloured people in the Cape, it means "Friend". "Hoesit my larnie!" (Hello there my friend!)

Lekker
(Afrikaans - Nice, pleasant, stoned, fun, lovely, good, pretty) It is used by all language groups to express approval, often to cover up a limited vocab. If you see someone of the opposite sex who is good-looking, you can excl.. "Lekkerrr!" while drawing out the last syllable. Cars can be lekker. You can have a lekker time. You can feel lekker. Holidays are lekker. It's lekker when the Springboks occasionally win a match. And of course, you can have a lekker boerie on the braai.

Lightey ('laai-tie')
(Youngster) "That lightey is a pretty good surfer, for a grommet." (That boy surfs well, considering he belongs to a lower caste) Also laaitie

Loskop
(Afrikaans: "Loose Head") Absent minded, forgetful . Someone with plenty of space between the ears for the brain to rattle around in.
M
Madiba
The clan name for former President Mandela that has become universally used as an affectionate nickname. His full name is Nelson Rolihlahla (Roli-shla-shla) Mandela. His clan name is used widely, even by the press.

Mal
(Afrikaans - Mad) "That ou is mal".

Marmite
Australians have Vegemite, we have Marmite. Not to be confused with it's poor Australian cousin,Marmite is a salty yeast and vegetable extract resembling crude oil, or burnt engine oil mixed with treacle.
The Brits were the first to make it commercially viable.

P
Padkos ('put-koss')
(Afrikaans – lit. "road food") Food for the journey. Padkos is usually a few sarmies (sandwiches), some cooldrinks, chips, fruit and maybe a lekker stukkie biltong.

Pap ('Pup')
(Afrikaans – porridge) Boiled corn meal. It is the staple diet of many South Africans. Eaten mostly in the townships, it is often found at braais. It has the appearance of wet plaster or drying cement, but is delicious when scooped through gravy (known as "Pap-en-Sous". Pap is versatile. It's eaten as sweet porridge, or as part of a main course.

Pavement
What Americans call a sidewalk, we call a pavement.

Platteland
(Afrikaans – lit. "flat land") The sticks. The Platteland is where people milk cows and grow mielies (corn). Although it means literally "flat land", it also applies to mountainous and hilly regions such as the wine-growing region near Cape Town.
R

Robot
(Traffic light) Peculiar way of describing a traffic light. But then, we only got TV in the mid 1970s.

Rooibos
(Red bush tea) This tannin-free herb tea comes mostly from the Clanwilliam area of the Western Cape. It is made from the Aspalathus linearis bush. Homesick South Africans buy it from gourmet stores around the world, even if they don't like it.
S

Samoosa
(Deep-fried triangular curried pie) Made to a Malay recipe, samoosas can be found in cafes around the country. The best are in Cape Town, cultural home of the Malay community. This rich culture has had an enormous influence on the country's culinary tradition.

Samp
An African food made from rough corn. It is starchy and is often eaten with haricot or red beans, dunked in gravy stew. Delicious.

Sarmie
(Sandwich) Kids sometimes take a sarmie to school in the morning.

Sis ('Sus')
(Yuck) "Sis, man, you just kotched on my wetsuit." (Yuck, man, you just vomited on my wetsuit)

Sjoe ('Shoe')
(Afrikaans expletive) "Sjoe broer, that wave was awesome." Also shew and shewee.

Skaam
(Afrikaans - Shame, embarassed) "Pieter pulled out his penis in a Pretoria petshop. That oke has no skaam." (That guy has no shame) "When you fondle my ringpiece, I feel skaam (embarrassed, ashamed)."

Skebenga
(Zulu - Gangster, crook, ruffian) "Skay Ray, that skebenga is checking out your skedonk." (Watch out Ray, that crook is sizing up your car.)See skollie, skelm and skate.

Skinner
(Afrikaans – "skiner" - Gossip, news) The kind of gossip that goes on behind your back. Can mean news.

Skrik ('Skruk')
(Afrikaans - A fright, frighteningly ugly) After being held down for 30 seconds in the kelp at Crayfish Factory, you might get a bit of a "skrik".

Slap chips ('Slup chips')
When French Fries are thick and long and don't go crispy in the oil. They are soft and stodgy, ideal for mixing in mounds of tomato sauce or vinegar, or both. Slap is Afrikaans for limp. This is another staple food for surfers.

Slip Slops
Mostly called "slops", they are what Australians call thongs, or sandals. The proper slops are made from rubber and have a strap between your big toe and its partner.

Smaak
(Afrikaans – lit. "taste of") Like, enjoy, have hots for. "I smaak Sam stukkend." (I have the total hots for Sam.)

Snoek
(Sea pike) This is a fierce fish found in the sea off Cape Town. It has sharp teeth and is long and narrow like a barracuda. It is the staple diet and source of income for many Malay fisherman on the peninsula. It is pronounced "snook", as in "look". It tastes great when fresh. Dried, salted snoek can be eaten as is, or served in a stew called "smoor-vis". It tastes better than it sounds.

Sorry
(Excuse me) While used for its global meaning, as an apology, South Africans have managed to mutate it further. "Sorry, can I just get past." Perhaps it has psychotic roots in the Apartheid days, when travelling white South Africans were programmed to say sorry wherever they went.

Southeaster
(SE trade wind) This strong trade wind blows from the southeast in summer, and flattens Cape Town.
Sosatie
(Kebab) Made from either chicken, lamb or beef, this is often interspersed with pieces of tomato, green pepper, onion and sometimes fruit, especially apricot.
V

Van Der Merwe
Like Paddy in Ireland, Van der Merwe is the butt of South African jokes. Lacking in the social graces, "Van" is usually a "plaas japie" (farm boy) from the platteland.

W
Woes ('V-oos')
(Afrikaans – vicious, wild) Wound up, aggressive, feeling strong. "Skay bru, that baboon looks woes." (Watch out mate, that baboon looks like it's going to attack.) This is the Afrikaans pronunciation of the word, which turns "W" into "V".
Wednesday, January 23, 2008 

I am suffering from media withdrawal. I am unable to medicate my neurotic brain with frivolous programmes from my prized idiot box. To top things off my girlfriend is sick so I can go and bother her with my meaningless conversations. So now I am faced to go through the painful experience of thinking.

I remember a time during the late eighties when I was a snort nosed eight year old trying to a toyi toyi in Port Elizabeth. The smell of tear gas and running into a shop running from a crazed, hairy, whip carrying, sunburned sjambok wielding white soldier. I remember burning tires (no one in them thank god), singing about releasing Mandela who in my mind was a middle aged, traditionally dressed handsome guy in a picture under my granddads mattress. Yes Mandela I remember watching him on TV and getting really disappointed when a skinny tall geriatric came out with holding Winnie's hand. We all knew Winnie that feisty woman and her love of football clubs and her weird habit of extinguishing annoying little Stompies.

If there is one thing I remember in the eighties it was Winnie saying "We will free this land with our matches and our tires".So I did my bit to free this country, I burned a lot of tires and bought matches.

It's been many years since the eighties and the freedom struggle is gone, no one black of white can remember apartheid clearly as they were all busy fighting the system. Nowadays no one is racist except for old Janie in Orania but no one can hear his kaffir hating screams any more. Now people aren't racists except what one hears unsaid words when they are talking about the load shedding and crime. This is why I love ou Janie; he is living his crazed reality out there when no one cares to hear him scream, instead of festering like a septic wound in polite society, where conversations go like this:

Speaker: The government is not doing anything to alleviate the power problem.
Translation: Those incompetent kaffirs are running this country to the ground

Speaker: This country is going to the dogs, we aren't safe in our own homes.
Translation: I miss those great days of apartheid, when blacks knew their place.

Speaker: Innocent people are getting robbed every day
Translation: Help kaffirs are robbing white people!

I'm not against constructive criticism of government and black people in general but come on someone can surely come up with something new and creative to say. Also before you call me a racist remember there is no such thing as a black racist for reasons sited in article 12/4 in chapter 3 of the Black peoples self defence handbook. There I said it my shiny ebony behind is safe and if you disagree with me you are a racist or a coconut and if you agree with me then you are insane.

The reason I think all of this is because my TV is off due to load shedding. I moved from the township to the Northern suburbs of Johannesburg so I could escape crime, noisy neighbours and the cable stealing izinyoka that stopped me from enjoying the hard earned fruits of my labour. Now thanks to Eskom the Northern suburbs have no power. So I now have to invest in a generator (E-Bay) and Solar panels all in a bid to stop myself for thinking too much.

Since I am Xhosa I blame this on Zuma. Ok I can hear you thinking that this is another sorry sour grapes tale from another Zulu hating Xhosa, hiding behind reason and facts around some Kanga wearing strumpet who enticed our esteemed ANC president to mount her. I also will say nothing about that corrupt Durban guy Shaiking away in a prison hospital. We all know that he tricked our innocent JZ into accepting his money. I'll say nothing about that evil Aids denialist Mbeki who does not want our esteemed baby oil smelling, woman loving, shower taking, and 100% African stud from ruling the country.

I am talking about the distraction the entire debacle created that distracted us from quickly noting that someone from Eskom has F%^ real bad. No one noticed that our police system has gone hell and that our health system is in near collapse. Inspired by that dress wearing John Sentamu of England nee Uganda, I having no dog collar to cut am about to cut up my membership card to the ruling party. I can't do this in a public domain because 1.no one cares and 2. Some DA sympathiser will agree with me and try to recruit me they by having me branded as an anti revolutionary. No matter how bad things go I will sooner vote for the Soccer party than the DA.

I remember when I still lived in Zwide and was a loyal party supporter; I was branded an anti revolutionary. It started with a meeting where our councillor was inviting us his loyal constituents to vote for him again in the next election. The hall was packed and local committee representatives were sitting on either side of the councillor and a bearded MR T looking guy was sitting next to the councillor. So like a loyal party supporter I yelled out a couple of Viva's a few Amandla's and sung Nansi indod' emnyama with my fist up in the air. Everyone followed and even our esteemed councillor smiled in my direction.

That is until I rose up to ask a question.
"Comrade Councillor since you the last vote there were two floods in Veeplas and people were moved to community halls. Also the local clinic has not had any medicine. What have you done to help the community with this apart from moving to town and impregnating my classmates"?

With that Mr T go up, yelled about my disrespect for the freedom they fought for and how as young people of today have no respect for elders and how he would beat my insolent arse after the meeting. So I respectfully walked slowly towards the door and ran as fast as I could home fearing that Mr T was following me to make good on his promise. I spent the entire week in hiding and the councillor won the election again and I had to leave for varsity.

To be completely honest I don't care who is president of the party as long as they aren't from the DA or the ACDP (I might have the morals of a sewer rat but I won't sink that low). All I want is the electricity I pay for, a little health care, a police system that does something more than beating up drunken kids, some job creation to lessen the number of people needing to rob me. That is all I need to be happy honest, if I don't get these I wont complain lest I expose my fat arse to beatings from Mr T and his ilk. I'm keeping my party card, buying solar panels, paying the security services, and using private health care should I get sick. Aluta continua

Saturday, November 24, 2007 
..> ..>

Samir AMIN
(Egypt) 

Accumulation on a World Scale

Ifi AMADIUME
(Nigeria)

Male Daughters, Female Husbands, Gender and Sex in an African Society

Frantz Fanon

(Martinique)

Black Skin, white mask

Anthony APPIAH
(Ghana)

In My Father's House

Amicar CABRAL
(Guinea-Bissau)

Unity and Struggle

JE CASELY-HAYFORD
(Ghana)

Ethiopia Unbound

Rocha CHIMERA
(Kenya)

Kiswahili, Past, Present and Future Horizons

Steve Biko

( South Africa)

I write what I like

Efua DOORKENOO
(Ghana)

Cutting the Rose

Chika Onyeani
(Nigeria)

Capitalist Nigger: The Road to Success

Samuel JOHNSON
(Nigeria)

Breaking the Chains of Psychological Slavery

Jomo KENYATTA
(Kenya)

Facing Mount Kenya

Kopano Matlwa
(South Africa)

Coconut

Antjie KROG
(South Africa)

Country of My Skull

Amina MAMA
(Nigeria)

Beyond the Mask, Race, Gender and Identity

Mahmood MAMDANI
(Uganda)

Citizen and Subject: Contemporary Africa and the Legacy of Late Colonialism

Nelson MANDELA
(South Africa)

Long Walk to Freedom

Eric Miyeni
(South Africa)

O'Mandingo:The Only Black at a dinner party

O'Mandingo! Before Mandela was Mandela

Sihle Khumalo
(South Africa)

Dark Continent my Black Arse

Ezekiel MPHAHLELE
(South Africa)

Down Second Avenue

VY MUDIMBE
(Dem. Rep. of Congo)

The Invention of Africa

Kwame NKRUMAH
(Ghana)

Ghana: The Autobiography of Kwame Nkrumah

Sol PLAATJE
(South Africa)

Native Life in South Africa

Wole SOYINKA
(Nigeria)

Ake: The Years of Childhood

Charles VAN ONSELEN
(South Africa)

The Seed is Mine

Saturday, October 20, 2007 

AmaXhosa ngabantu abayithandayo into entle, abantu abakholelwayo kukuhlalisana kakuhle nabanye abantu (bezinye iintlanga nezizwe). Isizwe samaXhosa njengazo zonke izizwe zaseAfrika zikholelwa kakhulu kwizinto zomoya, ubomi obuphilwa ngaba bantu busekelezelwe kwizinto zomoya. Umz: aba bantu bakholelwa ekuthini ukuze baphile ubomi obububo kufuneka bakholise uMdali wabo, uQamata.

Abukho ubomi obunokubasa empumelelweni eyiyo bengathanga banqule kuye uQamata abangamboniyo ngeliso lenyama. Kuthi kwakuvisiswana naye uQamata baphile ngokholo lokuba zonke izinto ziza kuhamba kutghg kakuhle, amathamsanqa aza kubalandela ze wona amashwa awagxothe uQamata phakathi kwabo. Eli candelo lisaphuhliswa. Ungatyhafi, uphinde ubuye kwamsinya

Saturday, October 20, 2007 

The majority of world religions come from the desert, and the founder was a shepherd or a trader who lived in the cutting edge of poverty or death. He had a divine experience and led his people to a revolution that reshaped his world annihilating all that stood before it. They all believe in the doctrine of scarcity and a masculine warrior deity and the concept of a heaven far away from the toils of the world. There is no love for the earth, an almost paranoid hatred of the material and a need to control wanton femininity.

 

In my life I have seen three deserts, the Sahara, Namib and the Arabian. There is something I noticed about the desert it is stark, lonely and not very giving. The loneliness is vast and depressing, the sun beats mercilessly and there is no cover. The evenings are frigid with only the occasional jackal and hyena cry heard far away in the night. With sand storms bearing down on old ruins of forgotten civilizations, the only blessings come from above in the form of rain that gives the precious commodity that is water. The sand drinks this water up and draws it in deep into the underground rivers and wells that once flowed up. This water is used to leach out salt another item of value.

 

There are people who live here whether they are the Bedouin with their camels, the Berbers, or the San. Then there are the shepherds who have to raise sheep or goats in these extreme times. You see the desert forces one to focus up to wards the heavens the earth gives nothing it is barren and hordes all its treasures. The heaven is punishing in its intensity yet gives the occasional blessing, of much needed water. Suddenly the world is divided into its polar opposites there is a force that personifies good and that which personifies evil and if anyone has half a brain would side with the forces that bring crops and flocks through rain and these are deemed good. The heavens become masculine and rain becomes the semen from a heavenly father who fertilizes the passive female earth on whose womb comes out all life.

 

Two brothers decide to start a living one ..ndomesticates a sheep and the other a goat. The shepherd would notice that the ..nsurvival tactics of his flocks would be to travel in herds and follow one designated leader trusting in them completely in the hope that they would lead me to the source of these scarce resources. You see sheep are naturally obedient creatures who would not survive well on their own in the wild, the goat by its very nature is disobedient. Goatherds would notice the individuality of each goat and how each goes out to search for food in those secluded spots. But goats look out mostly for themselves and a goatherd does not do much herding as they can find their way home quite easily. So the goat herd wakes up early and opens the gate for his animals to go and then closes it at night when they are back. This leaves him with enough time to mac on the village girls, ghoen the shepherd's wife and think of wealth making schemes.The poor shepherd and his dump sheep have nto stay out in the desert for months on end in the loneliness of the desert. Now na lonely mind does a lot of thinking and the shepherd, depends a lot on sympathetic magic and ritual to insure his safety from non forgiving nature,wild animals and the forever beating sun. He starts to depend on these rituals and does a lot of deep thinking about the scarcity of resources in the world. He then would think up ways in which to access these. His imagination would take him upwards to a magical plane where the lion lies with the lamb, the water flows endlessly, and there are fruit trees and large field where food grows abundantly. Because of his lack of game he might even imagine a bevy of virgins to feed his hunger and soothe his lust in a way that a sheep never would. In groups he would sit with his friends talking and building on this narrative and ..nthey would exchange ideas building the texture and dimensions of this magical place. Then the intensity mounts as a sense of urgency possibly triggered probably by drought, the shepherds seek out the cause looking up to the heavens to a source more powerful than the sun the very creator of everything. They imagine that the world was a heaven before this and something they must have done upset the balance and caused it to be this way.

 

Two brothers decide to start a living one domesticates a sheep and the other a goat. The shepherd would notice that the survival tactics of his flocks would be to travel in herds and follow one designated leader trusting in them completely in the hope that they would lead me to the source of these scarce resources. You see sheep are naturally obedient creatures who would not survive well on their own in the wild, the goat by its very nature is disobedient. Goatherds would notice the individuality of each goat and how each goes out to search for food in those secluded spots. But goats look out mostly for themselves and a goatherd does not do much herding as they can find their way home quite easily. So the goat herd wakes up early and opens the gate for his animals to go and then closes it at night when they are back. This leaves him with enough time to mac on the village girls, ghoen the shepherd's wife and think of wealth making schemes.

 

 The poor shepherd and his dumb sheep have to stay out in the desert for months on end in the loneliness of the desert. Now a lonely mind does a lot of thinking and the shepherd, depends a lot on sympathetic magic and ritual to insure his safety from non forgiving nature, wild animals and the forever beating sun. He starts to depend on these rituals and does a lot of deep thinking about the scarcity of resources in the world. He then would think up ways in which to access these. His imagination would take him upwards to a magical plane where the lion lies with the lamb, the water flows endlessly, and there are fruit trees and large field where food grows abundantly. Because of his lack of game he might even imagine a bevy of virgins to feed his hunger and soothe his lust in a way that a sheep never would. In groups he would sit with his friends talking and building on this narrative and they would exchange ideas building the texture and dimensions of this magical place. Then the intensity mounts as a sense of urgency possibly triggered probably by drought, the shepherds seek out the cause looking up to the heavens to a source more powerful than the sun the very creator of everything. They imagine that the world was a heaven before this and something they must have done upset the balance and caused it to be this way.

 

His flocks begin to weaken and die and he ventures further and further praying up hoping for this better place he can reach only through death. Then one day his nerve breaks, he sees a burning bush,a stairway to heaven, a whisper in a cave or a voice coming from above. The creator contacts him and orders him to spread the recipe for eternal life. He goes on home first to other shepherds and together they form a coalition and they all go back to their village to tell everyone the good news. He finds the goat heard has built a city hall and a palace and inside this he finds his wife locked in an embrace. In fury he goes home and notices for the first time how most of his children look like the goatherd. He becomes pissed off and raises the village to the ground women like the earth were wanton and evil and needed their sexuality controlled. He becomes a shepherd of man, he castrates and bans the goatherd way of life every man will be a sheep, obey, follow or lose the heavenly blessing. The reason why heaven was lost was the goatherd and all like him an the woman and her beautiful evil temptress self have to be controlled or destroyed in order to bring back the heavenly age.

 

Then there are wars and in the end the goatherd goes into hiding and femininity is denied by women and every ounce of energy is focused on manipulating the heavenly father in order that he releases his blessing. In the shepherds world blessing are scarce and abundance is evil. It bears down hot, dry and deadly like the desert. For years he rules supreme and the memory of the goatherd lies locked in the dreams of his children and no amount of self flagellation, confession, and fasting will dislodge it from the consciousness. Once in a while he is seen in glimpse among the shepherds. The when generations have stayed in waiting a fully fledged goatherd arises and asks what is it that we are waiting for again, hasn't it been almost two thousand years now, where the hell is the party. This is when all hell breaks loose.

 

His flocks begin to weaken and die and he ventures further and further praying up hoping for this better place he can reach only through death. Then one day his nerve breaks, he sees a burning bush, a stairway to heaven, a whisper in a cave or a voice coming from above. The creator contacts him and orders him to spread the recipe for eternal life. He goes on home first to other shepherds and together they form a coalition and they all go back to their village to tell everyone the good news. He finds the goat heard has built a city hall and a palace and inside this he finds his wife locked in an embrace. In fury he goes home and notices for the first time how most of his children look like the goatherd. He becomes pissed off and raises the village to the ground women like the earth were wanton and evil and needed their sexuality controlled. He becomes a shepherd of man, he castrates and bans the goatherd way of life every man will be a sheep, obey, follow or lose the heavenly blessing. The reason why heaven was lost was the goatherd and all like him an the woman and her beautiful evil temptress self have to be controlled or destroyed in order to bring back the heavenly age.

 

Then there are wars and in the end the goatherd goes into hiding and femininity is denied by women and every ounce of energy is focused on manipulating the heavenly father in order that he releases his blessing. In the shepherds world blessing are scarce and abundance is evil. It bears down hot, dry and deadly like the desert. For years he rules supreme and the memory of the goatherd lies locked in the dreams of his children and no amount of self flagellation, confession, and fasting will dislodge it from the consciousness. Once in a while he is seen in glimpse among the shepherds. The when generations have stayed in waiting a fully fledged goatherd arises and asks what is it that we are waiting for again, hasn't it been almost two thousand years now, where the hell is the party. This is when all hell breaks loose.

Saturday, October 20, 2007 

The majority of world religions come from the desert, and the founder was a shepherd or a trader who lived in the cutting edge of poverty or death. He had a divine experience and led his people to a revolution that reshaped his world annihilating all that stood before it. They all believe in the doctrine of scarcity and a masculine warrior deity and the concept of a heaven far away from the toils of the world. There is no love for the earth, an almost paranoid hatred of the material and a need to control wanton femininity.

 

In my life I have seen three deserts, the Sahara, Namib and the Arabian. There is something I noticed about the desert it is stark, lonely and not very giving. The loneliness is vast and depressing, the sun beats mercilessly and there is no cover. The evenings are frigid with only the occasional jackal and hyena cry heard far away in the night. With sand storms bearing down on old ruins of forgotten civilizations, the only blessings come from above in the form of rain that gives the precious commodity that is water. The sand drinks this water up and draws it in deep into the underground rivers and wells that once flowed up. This water is used to leach out salt another item of value.

 

There are people who live here whether they are the Bedouin with their camels, the Berbers, or the San. Then there are the shepherds who have to raise sheep or goats in these extreme times. You see the desert forces one to focus up to wards the heavens the earth gives nothing it is barren and hordes all its treasures. The heaven is punishing in its intensity yet gives the occasional blessing, of much needed water. Suddenly the world is divided into its polar opposites there is a force that personifies good and that which personifies evil and if anyone has half a brain would side with the forces that bring crops and flocks through rain and these are deemed good. The heavens become masculine and rain becomes the semen from a heavenly father who fertilizes the passive female earth on whose womb comes out all life.

 

Two brothers decide to start a living one ..ndomesticates a sheep and the other a goat. The shepherd would notice that the ..nsurvival tactics of his flocks would be to travel in herds and follow one designated leader trusting in them completely in the hope that they would lead me to the source of these scarce resources. You see sheep are naturally obedient creatures who would not survive well on their own in the wild, the goat by its very nature is disobedient. Goatherds would notice the individuality of each goat and how each goes out to search for food in those secluded spots. But goats look out mostly for themselves and a goatherd does not do much herding as they can find their way home quite easily. So the goat herd wakes up early and opens the gate for his animals to go and then closes it at night when they are back. This leaves him with enough time to mac on the village girls, ghoen the shepherd's wife and think of wealth making schemes.The poor shepherd and his dump sheep have nto stay out in the desert for months on end in the loneliness of the desert. Now na lonely mind does a lot of thinking and the shepherd, depends a lot on sympathetic magic and ritual to insure his safety from non forgiving nature,wild animals and the forever beating sun. He starts to depend on these rituals and does a lot of deep thinking about the scarcity of resources in the world. He then would think up ways in which to access these. His imagination would take him upwards to a magical plane where the lion lies with the lamb, the water flows endlessly, and there are fruit trees and large field where food grows abundantly. Because of his lack of game he might even imagine a bevy of virgins to feed his hunger and soothe his lust in a way that a sheep never would. In groups he would sit with his friends talking and building on this narrative and ..nthey would exchange ideas building the texture and dimensions of this magical place. Then the intensity mounts as a sense of urgency possibly triggered probably by drought, the shepherds seek out the cause looking up to the heavens to a source more powerful than the sun the very creator of everything. They imagine that the world was a heaven before this and something they must have done upset the balance and caused it to be this way.

 

Two brothers decide to start a living one domesticates a sheep and the other a goat. The shepherd would notice that the survival tactics of his flocks would be to travel in herds and follow one designated leader trusting in them completely in the hope that they would lead me to the source of these scarce resources. You see sheep are naturally obedient creatures who would not survive well on their own in the wild, the goat by its very nature is disobedient. Goatherds would notice the individuality of each goat and how each goes out to search for food in those secluded spots. But goats look out mostly for themselves and a goatherd does not do much herding as they can find their way home quite easily. So the goat herd wakes up early and opens the gate for his animals to go and then closes it at night when they are back. This leaves him with enough time to mac on the village girls, ghoen the shepherd's wife and think of wealth making schemes.

 

 The poor shepherd and his dumb sheep have to stay out in the desert for months on end in the loneliness of the desert. Now a lonely mind does a lot of thinking and the shepherd, depends a lot on sympathetic magic and ritual to insure his safety from non forgiving nature, wild animals and the forever beating sun. He starts to depend on these rituals and does a lot of deep thinking about the scarcity of resources in the world. He then would think up ways in which to access these. His imagination would take him upwards to a magical plane where the lion lies with the lamb, the water flows endlessly, and there are fruit trees and large field where food grows abundantly. Because of his lack of game he might even imagine a bevy of virgins to feed his hunger and soothe his lust in a way that a sheep never would. In groups he would sit with his friends talking and building on this narrative and they would exchange ideas building the texture and dimensions of this magical place. Then the intensity mounts as a sense of urgency possibly triggered probably by drought, the shepherds seek out the cause looking up to the heavens to a source more powerful than the sun the very creator of everything. They imagine that the world was a heaven before this and something they must have done upset the balance and caused it to be this way.

 

His flocks begin to weaken and die and he ventures further and further praying up hoping for this better place he can reach only through death. Then one day his nerve breaks, he sees a burning bush,a stairway to heaven, a whisper in a cave or a voice coming from above. The creator contacts him and orders him to spread the recipe for eternal life. He goes on home first to other shepherds and together they form a coalition and they all go back to their village to tell everyone the good news. He finds the goat heard has built a city hall and a palace and inside this he finds his wife locked in an embrace. In fury he goes home and notices for the first time how most of his children look like the goatherd. He becomes pissed off and raises the village to the ground women like the earth were wanton and evil and needed their sexuality controlled. He becomes a shepherd of man, he castrates and bans the goatherd way of life every man will be a sheep, obey, follow or lose the heavenly blessing. The reason why heaven was lost was the goatherd and all like him an the woman and her beautiful evil temptress self have to be controlled or destroyed in order to bring back the heavenly age.

 

Then there are wars and in the end the goatherd goes into hiding and femininity is denied by women and every ounce of energy is focused on manipulating the heavenly father in order that he releases his blessing. In the shepherds world blessing are scarce and abundance is evil. It bears down hot, dry and deadly like the desert. For years he rules supreme and the memory of the goatherd lies locked in the dreams of his children and no amount of self flagellation, confession, and fasting will dislodge it from the consciousness. Once in a while he is seen in glimpse among the shepherds. The when generations have stayed in waiting a fully fledged goatherd arises and asks what is it that we are waiting for again, hasn't it been almost two thousand years now, where the hell is the party. This is when all hell breaks loose.

 

His flocks begin to weaken and die and he ventures further and further praying up hoping for this better place he can reach only through death. Then one day his nerve breaks, he sees a burning bush, a stairway to heaven, a whisper in a cave or a voice coming from above. The creator contacts him and orders him to spread the recipe for eternal life. He goes on home first to other shepherds and together they form a coalition and they all go back to their village to tell everyone the good news. He finds the goat heard has built a city hall and a palace and inside this he finds his wife locked in an embrace. In fury he goes home and notices for the first time how most of his children look like the goatherd. He becomes pissed off and raises the village to the ground women like the earth were wanton and evil and needed their sexuality controlled. He becomes a shepherd of man, he castrates and bans the goatherd way of life every man will be a sheep, obey, follow or lose the heavenly blessing. The reason why heaven was lost was the goatherd and all like him an the woman and her beautiful evil temptress self have to be controlled or destroyed in order to bring back the heavenly age.

 

Then there are wars and in the end the goatherd goes into hiding and femininity is denied by women and every ounce of energy is focused on manipulating the heavenly father in order that he releases his blessing. In the shepherds world blessing are scarce and abundance is evil. It bears down hot, dry and deadly like the desert. For years he rules supreme and the memory of the goatherd lies locked in the dreams of his children and no amount of self flagellation, confession, and fasting will dislodge it from the consciousness. Once in a while he is seen in glimpse among the shepherds. The when generations have stayed in waiting a fully fledged goatherd arises and asks what is it that we are waiting for again, hasn't it been almost two thousand years now, where the hell is the party. This is when all hell breaks loose.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 
Cry Out In Your Weakness
A dragon was pulling a bear into its terrible mouth.

A courageous man went and rescued the bear.
There are such helpers in the world, who rush to save
anyone who cries out. Like Mercy itself,
they run toward the screaming.

And they can't be bought off.
If you were to ask one of those, "Why did you come
so quickly?" he or she would say, "Because I heard
your helplessness."

Where lowland is,
that's where water goes. All medicine wants
is pain to cure

And don't just ask for one mercy.
Let them flood in. Let the sky open under your feet.
Take the cotton out of your ears, the cotton
of consolations, so you can hear the sphere-music…

Accept your new good luck.

Give your weakness
to one who helps.

Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.

Just a little beginning-whimper
and she's there.

God created the child, that is, your wanting
so that it may cry out, so that milk might come.

Cry out! Don't be stolid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of loving flow into you.

The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us.

Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit.

Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you
back toward disease and death.

-Rumi
Wednesday, July 18, 2007 

Today it's Nelson Mandela's birthday. What an amazing man who sacrificed twenty seven years of his life for an ideal. I remember when I was a child singing free Mandela, and looking at a tattered and at the time illegal picture of him wearing the traditional Thembu dress. He looked handsome and eternally young, smiling. We knew of Winnie Mandela, and her strength and her fondness for extinguishing nosey Stompies. We saw her banning and heard about her battles in the news and we all followed her leadership. She was pissed off and we also were.

The big day came in 1990 when he was released we traveled all the way to Cape Town. Then the gates opened and out came Winne walking next to an old smiling man. He resembled the old picture but he was old. That is the story I told Madiba when I met him in a charity dinner and he smiled again and said well we all grow old. 89 years old is when we all grow old.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007 
In my experience this teaches them how to cope with pressure and competition. I personally learnt alot about fair play and honour from tournaments. These lessons intailed learning how to win with honour and how to accept defeat and use it as a spring board to another victory. I believe learning these lessons early from a COMPETENT instructor /coach goes a long way to developing a more wholesome individual.
 
A lot of the problems with people in society nowadays is that they have never been  tested and don't know their abilities. This unsureness breeds the associated social ills like bullying,criminality and other social ills.Having children compete gives them this self assurance and gives them tools to cope with life. I also should stress the proper education and involvement of the parents in the martial education of their children.
 
I had my first boxing bout when I weighed 30kg in primary school (and Karate non-contact earlier). I remember the day clearly because I had my light snuffed out by some kid and suffered my first nose bleed ( I put my hands on my hip in Karate style when I got tired). I learnt a good lesson from that and got addicted to full-contact fighting. I know kids in my school who also trained with me used to have daily fights at school just to prove how tough they were.
 
Since I was introduced to grappling arts Judo at 14,Wrestling 18 and Jujutsu from then on. I think that maybe learning how to hit is not  as important for little children than being able to protect themselves without hurting anyone. That is the reason why the childrens class in my school is mostly grappling with locks and limited striking. I also find it's so much easier to make grappling fun and to create new games and drills for body movement and teaching the fundamental principles and it doesn't hurt half as much as boxing or Karate.

As to passing Fads well, morals ,money making schemes. Well, each to their own belief, my opinion is that as an instructor or coach you need to attach some value to the time that you spend sharing your knowledge otherwise you become drained and loose focus.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007 

The topic of self defence is one that is of interest to me. I am presently teaching a self defence course designed for ladies. The course focuses mainly on mental preparedness, avoidance,as well as building assertiveness for the students. The course was developed by my sifu and I have put some modifications because of my experience with living and working with violence.

I am student and I work at parttimes as a bouncer in clubs around PE and Cape town during vacs and locall clubs during term. I weigh about 64 kg, and quite short. So my work has really taught me how to better use my knowledge to control situations which might be unpleasant. Negotiation and conflict, avoidenceand  resolution skills are taught intensively in my course. The focus in stead of teaching the student  techniques the focus is on techniques that are going to cause the maximum damage with the minimum effort. These techniques are finger jabs to eyes ear rips, bites, head buts attacks to joints and soft organs, and also basic "house hold weaponry. The students are incouraged to use palms,elbows and most of the training is done wearing shoes.

Because I am always looking for ways to make my course as functional and simple as possible I always liase with some martial art teachers and self defense instructors. I have found that most of the self defense courses and teachings that i came across focused mainly in trying to control reality. the instruction normaly goes this way," Attacker grabs your hand with left arm, you move your body in this direction and punch them in the face and knee the groin and attacker will fall down". In my rather limited experience with fighting a guy punched in the face and kneed in the groin will get up and beat the crap out of you. I know this because I tried the same thing on a bully in primary school and i was black and blue for a week.

So  preparing the student to go to the finish is what I focus on, but in real life how many people would scratch out eyes and bite off noses after a weekend training of self defense. Only a few but a guy who is determined to nail or assualt you would do that without hesitation. Knowing that in an attack situation one will get hurt (maybe badly) is the best preparation one can have for a street fight as it prepares you to act fast and get it over with.

I just would like to know from other instructors who teach self defence to share their experiences so I can just see how off the mark I am.