So I was invited and/or coerced into going to Jamaica to shoot an ad for a beautiful vacation home. I have no problem with Jamaica, I've been to the Caribbean before, the St. Croix Virgin Islands, I got the idea, so I thought, but it was different this time. Jamaica... well, some things were terribly familiar, others not. My family is from Sicily, so I know about small cars racing around winding mountain roads and beeping horns to warn on coming vehicles because you cannot see around those corners. Jamaica is an island, like Sicily, mountainous, surrounded by water, eliminate the people, and you might not know if it was Jamaica or Sicily. However, the difference is, the burning fires are Jamaicans clearing fields for building or burning trash. In Sicily it would be to smoke rabbits out of holes so they can hunt their dinner. Roosters are a familiar sound, but usually at 6am, not 2-3am. Barking dogs? Well, they are to keep bandits off property in the middle of the night... not sure how well that works, but it certainly kept me up for many hours. Ever see a full size dumpster for clearing out buildings? Well, arc-weld a window, a front door and another window, and some people use this as their home -- and this is one of the better-built homes. Its solid, and a hurricane, rains or fires cannot touch it. Shacks consisting of no more than 4 walls of plywood are considered the average home. Sandals in Whitehouse, Jamaica is less than a few miles away. Its beautiful, sailboats, luxury accomodations, but outside of the resort is the real Jamaica. 1 in every 10-20 hotels, homes or buildings seem to be unfinished. People ran out of money, or did construction workers smoking gange and drinking work at half the rate, driving costs up twice as much or higher? I am not judging, its just a question I ask myself. The next time you complain about your kitchen sink, remember, the best food anywhere on the planet is from the simplest of kitchens and the freshest of ingredients. Jerk chicken prepared on the roadside in a 55 gallon steel drum cut in half is better than any chicken at anywhere I've ever had in the USA, and trust me, I've had enough chicken from the worst to best places to say that. Fish -- fresher and better than your local supermarket. Never once did I worry about the freshness of the food. I feared for my safety, but never the food I ate. Even if it would not meet USFDA standards, it was still better and fresher than what we purchase in the supermarket. I have no doubts about that on taste alone. Jamaicans are some of the friendliest, happiest people I have ever met on a whole. The poverty level I have seen there is saddening, but yet the people still keep good spirits... no one was genuinely angry at any time for any reason, they are very laid back. Good? Yes, but if you ask if this hinders their productivity, that is yet a different question. They thrive on tourism, but if tourism drops off, they do only what they have to in order to survive. The next time someone complains about their living conditions, I would like to show them photo and video of HAPPY people living in something we would call nearly homeless. This does not mean we should be ashamed of where we live or what we live in. Nor should it mean we should not seek more comfortable homes in the future. All I am asking is to appreciate where you live and how. Yea, it sux your taxes are high, or you can't have that 5th bedroom you were hoping for, but if they can fit a full family into something the size of your bedroom, then count your blessings. Again, don't underestimate your worth, but appreciate it, because its one of the best in the world. Focus on the positive, not the negative, because if you concentrate on the negative, you are still at the top of the scale, which makes you pretty lucky. Don't worry about keeping up with the Jones', be happy you are living 100-1000 times better than most people on the planet.

Its been haunting me for some time.  3 Years ago I had found my Father's parents Citizenship Papers in with my mother's belongings.  I've been trying to find it just to scan it so it would be archived electronicaly and never lost.  Naturally tired from the shoot the night before, I decided to scan at least a few things... BINGO!  I found it in the first box I looked in.  Why would 2 Sicilians living in Newark be married in a East Harlem Church?  I was under the assumption that my grandparents were married in Sicily and then sailed to the USA.  Was my father conceived before marriage?  As it turns out, it was 1924, he was not born in Sicily, but born here in 1928.  Maybe I remember his story wrong, maybe he didn't remember and just made it eup.  But the facts are there, and I am curious to know if my grandparents could not get married in Sicily for a particular reason so they came to USA and were they were legally able to marry?  I don't know.  I have to ask some relatives, but what I did find was disturbing in with those documents were other legal documents, death certificates, etc.  I got caught up in all of this and thought I had missed the begining of a television favorite for sunday night: Cold Case.  I hate crime/drama, but the way Cold Case is put together is brilliant, brilliant enough to get me to watch.  A flashback, a date, a hit song from that date and a mystery.  Isn't that all of life?  What a way to tell a story.  Sometimes the twists of eyewitness testimonies are hard to believe, but nonetheless, its a concept I don't think I've ever seen in television (outside of Psych, but that is more comical).  IN any case, I got the feeling I was going back in time while going thru these documents and discovering/analyzing/understanding my family's past as a lot of it is a mystery. I understand better my father's disposition, family genes, and that things were no more rosey for anyone 50 or 100 years ago, then they are today.  Back then they kept secrets inside to destory them, and today we let it all out in the open to destroy our relationships due to known "issues" or baggage.  Yea, we evolved, or not.  Pain is pain, we just need to deal with it and realize that some had it much worse, some much better, but in the end... we need to ID it and move on as quickly as possible to be assured good mental health (thats not my opinion, it was a clipping of Ann Landers I found in with all of these disturbing documents).  Time for a drink.

Wow... what a difference a year makes. Last year at this time I was in Vegas with friends from all over the country having a great time at a Retro-Retreat Rat Pack Style. Literally at the top of the world in the Stratopshere eating Kobe Hamburgers and drinking Martinis for lunch overlooking Area 51 and the entire city at 360 degree view. Well, Its been 3 years since mum passed, and as much as I miss her, I have to say, thank God she isnt around to read the newspaper or watch on every friggin channel what is going on with a company I have given my blood, sweat & tears to. My own fault, but it wasnt all bad till the last 5-6 months. This has practically killed me and made me ill, I could just imagine what it might have done to her. The only good that has come out of this, is I now know for sure who my real friends are, and aren't. The ride is about to get a bit rougher, and I might have to revise my list, but for now, I am pretty confident that some people have really surprised me pleasantly and others have disappointed me grately and I am sick from their behavior. Proof once again, its not about money in the end..... there are friends, family, pride, professionalism, integrity and the desire to help even if its at your own expense, because again, its not about money, its about karma, a higher power, an afterlife, and the fact that even if its none of that, we have to share this planet with others and just because there are a majority of idiots, some of us are decent and we have to remember that so we can all help each other out even if the morons don't appreciate it.

Well, looking over my blog from last year on this date, its ironic that me & Mike at at local japanese hibachi place for his birthday... snow too but no blizzard. A lot of thoughts are going thru my head, and I don't want to post them here, but I can say that I am a much happier person than I was last year at this time. Sure, work is going to give me a stroke or heartattack, but I managed to shoot a documentary and create a trailer for people that will hopefully sell it at the Sundance Film Festival... how I pulled it off in time to get it out, I dont with so much footage on so many different formats, but then again, I remembered: yea, I'm that good.

Along with the death of Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes, who I once worked with, I have been reflecting a lot this weekend. Its amazing that one day I can be dealing with petty customer service issues, and the next I am working with noted Hollywood actors. Its been a long time since I worked with celebrities and professionals like Ed Bradley, and its interesting to be giving the orders instead of taking them for a change, and the next time I run into someone difficult who demeans what I do to make a living, I can reflect and rest assured that I have respect of some of seasoned life-long Hollywood actors, because I AM that good. I know bigger projects mean bigger headaches, and even if this project fails, I am still proud of the work I did, and coming from some who is ultra-critical at times, especially of myself, it says a lot, and I shouldn't ever forget that. I'm not just patting myself on the back, or maybe I am, but all I know is this is the first time I have walked away from something that started as a complete mess and got turned around because of my performance. Its a good feeling, no matter how it turns out in the end. I just don't want to forget or lose sight of that no matter what becomes of it. I guess the lesson learned is, you have to give it your all, no matter what, and if any aspect leads to failure as a whole, and when the fingers are pointed, you won't ever blame yourself, and that too is a good feeling. Memo to self: YOU ARE THAT GOOD, so do it more often, and maybe you can be even better at it in the future.

Never really understood the point of blogs, but I am bored... if its a message board, i get it, but a blog as in a personal diary? Why share it with the world? Who really cares? Ok, so here it is, if anyone does care, this is really for me more than anything... maybe in another year i will go back and read it to see where I was a year ago today... i know where i was last year this evening... As for this evening in 2006, I had dinner with my childhood friend at a japanese hibachi place in town... great food, great show... stack of onions inverted created a very cool volcano once set on fire with some liquid (I am guessing its sake, or vinegar or some sort of vegetable oil)... great fun... had too much sake though... I am watching a sucky SNL, ironically, same thing i was doing exactly a year ago when my mother passed away this day during a blizzard... i was actually relieved, she was ill, and I am glad she was suffering no more... but then depression set in.... now that a year has passed, I am actually feeling a little bit better about it all though i miss her terribly... I think, and I hope, its time to move on now...