getting ready to leave port tortured in the morning.  excited about hitting them locks and heading north.   it's been rainy and miserable and i'm so looking fwd to it being at least rainy and beautiful.  am psyched about this season.  the crew are all good people and endearing in their quirks and individual ways.  we are learning as we go and not feeling behind or rushed.  there's still a lot to pick up on, but at least the cranes have been fun, the boat is stacked, and we are ready as ever to guide and fish and fend off grizzlies in the great (to me, at least) unknown.

am also realising how blessed and lucky i've been boatwise in terms of timing.  so far, just about every boat i've been on for one of its golden seasons.  full of crackerjack crew that just gel together and get stuff done and go places and the programming and itinerary were just so and it's been wonderful.  sadly, i'll keep tabs and sometimes it's not so fun the following season, or they've had a rough time the year before.  even the yacht i was on got to go some cool places and it was her final hurrah before things fell apart, but that was only because we stopped sailing. 

again continuing to hop trains, cross my fingers and call on fair winds, higher powers, weather windows and luck.

al

wow.  it's been a wild month.  they say living in guatemala is like riding a motorcycle and i'd say that that's pretty accurate.  semana santa was pretty crazy and i was swamped.  plus there was some drama at the ngo i've been working at, but nothing completely unexpected.  i am just assessing what i'm getting into before i take the plunge into community development and environmental conservation where the funds are just hemorhagging out.

also on a personal front, am confounded by human behavior.  have tried in vain to reconnect with some old friends that i consider quite close.  perhaps they've moved on, perhaps they've changed their minds, dunno.  all's i know is that i thought no response is akin to withholding a negative one.  call it the cynic in me...

but maybe i'm not cynical enough.  because actually silence is golden.  got blindsided by a friend of a friend who has taken issue with me without me knowing about it.  again i was encouraged to try and discuss this with her directly, but um, hell hath no fury like an angry woman.  she's on the warpath and any assuaging i tried only further enraged her.  it just seemed completely illogical to me that someone could get so angry over things that i was clueless about and that were not communicated to me, esp. since i'm away most of the time.  i am disappointed and stressed out over this situation and it got me to wondering, am i somehow not understanding people that i thought i knew?  is this vagabond lifestyle not conducive to long-term friendships??

do i think too much?  or am i not thoughtful enough?  am hoping at least introspection can be a healthy thing.  am wondering how much of this i'm causing or if i just bring out the crazy in people.  survey, friends?  is alice pissing off people unawares??  talk to me, folks.

about to break from civilization again and life on a boat is at least a lot less complicated.

als

to head back to guatemala.  i have made many dear friends there and found places to play music.  sat in with some amazing artists passing thru like me.  fell into a community of expats, who, like sailors, can reminisce over beers over adventures that seem like yesterday.  plus the volcanos and the beach are calling...

but part of me will always belong to new york.  i've too many friends, done too much, spent too much time here to leave it behind.  so with mixed feelings i pack again and take a few more of my things out of storage and away from this city.

i will always look forward to hanging at the G.  going to friends' shows.  having a last-minute few of my own.  long walks down wide streets hustling to get to the next place.  the food, the books, the boats, the bars.  the convenience of a 24 hr city is like candy to an insomniac....

so i am tying up some loose ends and shipping various things.  and struggling to finish some projects.  and, oh, yeah, play some guitar and write some songs.  yep, sleep will have to suffer still...

ciao y paz.

... in most people, i think.  anytime you cram-pack many populations of people into a small contained space, some will show signs of wear.

for the most part, things have been okay.  jan was mostly desolate job-hunting and being an internet shut-in.  feb things started to pick up, but so much that i was pretty frantic for two weeks straight.  part had to do with my new govt job that makes no sense and the other were from random encounters with crazy people.

i wish that i could go into the details of my kafka-esque g-job, but i think i may wind up with an audit or worse.  so suffice it to say it's wreaked havoc w/my schedge and for little or no money.

on top of that, my roommate unleashed her inner crazy on me a few days ago after i confronted her about helping herself to my things.  why is it that people always blame YOU for the crap that they're pulling??  oh yeah, it's called blaming the victim...

also had an erratic scheduling experience with a friend/acquaintance which torpedoed other people's plans and left me flummoxed.

anyways, i kinda digress.  my theory is that some of these folk are crazy because they're in new york.  you are forced to share close quarters with different people that may test you, and the energy that is required just to survive here takes it out of you.  esp. if you're overbooked and running around from one obligation to the other.  if any little thing slips out of place, your whole little world crumbles.  plus a lot of people aren't suited for shared living or confrontation, yet you're forced to coexist out of necessity.

i feel that anxiety sometimes but don't let it get the best of me.  because when push comes to shove, i always head for the nearest exit...

march is all about fresh starts.  am shedding trappings and looking fwd to being a bit more productive and creative.  and then getting the hell outta dodge...

al

i think there's a song by that name.  anyhow, watching the inauguration, i was rapt and joyful to see something that still didn't seem really real until barack obama gave that speech and the ceremony closed.

it's nice that when we're laid low, we can be hopeful and giddy and motivated to make changes in our lives and others'.

possibility is a great thing to have.  it opens you up to the world...

that being said, "TBD" has been the theme of my life.  i take inspiration from our 44th president and how zen he is in the midst of all this pressure and chaos.  i am trying to be a bit zen as my life is all up in the air in so many ways.  even my music.... feel blessed that friends and colleagues will drop me a gig when i least expect it.

so i will pony up and play a show with some old friends in the room and sing in the new year.  come down and say hello.

peace out.

wow, am well into my stay back in good ole' brooklyn, and damn is it dismal.  really icy cold, and no work prospects in sight.  am holed up in the apt., cooking, caffeinating, checking craiglist for work, pestering my temp agency, and trying to focus on completing many tasks.

on the upside, the sublet is swell, my roommate's a sweetheart, and i do love a good kitchen.  plus i'm trying to get back into garageband, and who knows?  maybe utilize my cabin fever and write a song or two.

which reminds me, i'm playing a solo set at hank's saloon for a benefit for unitedmountaindefense.org.  nothing else booked yet, i think if something falls into place next month, i'll post it here.

happy new year

well, another day another year. definitely not another dollar...

2008 is now officially the Year that Tanked. on the upside, there's nowhere to go from rock bottom but up.

we could see this coming from miles away but did nothing about it. miles of credit, fraud, shell games, disposable lifestyles, consumerism built up to critical mass and imploded.

the almighty usa is sliding down a pit and dragging everyone into the hole, because, as we all know now, everything's connected.

on the upside, somehow miraculously we elected the right guy, who's got a helluva job ahead of him. also, now that we're broke and unemployed, perhaps we'll learn to live without most of the stuff we didn't need in the first place.

turn off the telly and the computer, read a book, and chat to your loved ones (IM doesn't cut it). imagination doesn't require a subscription....

my stuff/resos:

1. definitely less media. although with wireless and my facebook addiction in the midst of winter, that'll be 12 step.

2. making more stuff with my hands. so far, i've got some dittybags to make...

3. talking to people. email is great, but it ain't the same as a phone call or face to face

4. cooking more. eating out less. simplifying my lifestyle and downsizing (constant battle) my gear.

5. taking more chances. after all, what is there left to lose?

happier 2009!

am spending xmas with the 'rents and cooling my heels a bit and looking ahead.

this country is simultaneously on the verge of collapse and transformative change. it may take one to catalyse the other...

me, other than seeing friends and family, i don't know why i'm here. it just feels weird after being away for most of the year to return to something so cold and depressed. after seeing so much suffering, so much life, the gamut from monegasque luxury to people living in rubbish heaps, to vibrant colors, flavors, sounds, the world is so huge and yet so small. yet when i come back here, it's the copascetic world of offices and malls and germophobes and internet shut-ins. there are no job opps, and i'm not dedicating my entire next year towards any one thing...

and there's the rub. i want it all. i want to do music. i want to be on a boat. i want to find a home and be around people i care about. i want to work at the turtle farm and make a difference. i want to keep travelling to places i've never been... i know it's nearly impossible, but that doesn't stop me from trying.

but first i gotta find a sublet in new york.

happy holidays. i hope your year was good and your prospects are bright.

http://alicelee.com/wayml2

that's what i asked myspace when i went to find my track. it has disappeared, and attempts to re-upload it ended in vain.

so here's an alternate link - i hope you can still hear it.

enjoy.

alicima

ahh, good to be back in the big bad apple in some regards. hopping back into the g was a treat. did some backup vocals for Will James' record, was peachy except for a few computer glitches (damn you, DAE -9161!)

also, listening tons to lots of relatively new music. in central america, didn't really listen to my ipod much, because a) if people saw my ipod, it would probably get jacked and b) i needed to tune into my environment and in some regards, preferred it that way in that context. sang out loud walking the beach, playing guitar in bars, etc., so that was good.

but here, in this space, in the cold weather and crowds, one needs to carve out a niche and put sounds in it. so i've been staying at my friend's apt. listening non-stop to different mixes, radio podcasts and records.

the only side effect of this and a dedicated wireless connection is that i find myself sitting still for hours at a time. bleary eyed, fascinated, passively taking in all this visual and sonic information, i have to tear myself away from the computer and throw snowballs at somebody.

c'mon, snow, hurry up.