Hehe... My myspace blog  just got 1005 views. Finally ~

Anyways yeah.. after a total of 48 posts on myspace, I'm moving onto a new internet home: http://wintersakura.wordpress.com

Why do I like it better? Well I can personalise my pages more and add random pages if I want to; it's like my own website, not just a blog :]

Take care, thanks for reading my rant/happy blogs :]
*catherine

Today's been a shitty day for me. I haven't had a crappy day in a while... Must be PMS. I hate being a girl. I hate English, I HATE R.E. Even more, for the first time in ages I hate my very own existence. I'm pretty sure some people who know me would hate my existence too.

If not [yes readers, this is a rant blog] then why is a friend of mine so full of guilt, so much to fucken act like she doesn't know me? Avoiding conversation, keeping her distance... OVER A FUCKING GUY. What the hell is wrong with this world... From what she's told me before she broke up with him, he was bugging her, now suddenly he's worth more than our friendship. I mean sure, when I saw them together it didn't bug me as much, she can do anything she wants as long as she's happy. But no, back to school, SNOB ME OFF? WHAT THE? I wanna smash something.

Am I that pitiful for things to be kept from me? Your fucking relationship has nothing to do with me, so why make it look like such a big deal for? Suddenly I feel so betrayed. I tried to hide it... but I suck at that so I burst. When? Oh no one would've known.

Why make me feel so unwanted for? As soon as I'm there, you leave and take a stroll probably talking shit about me. Do you feel THAT guilty? Because you're wasting your efforts. I don't give a shit about you and that guy being together. Do what you want, it's your fucking life. As if get scared of me breaking the two of you up or whatever other reason you're avoiding me. I don't NEED THIS SHIT.

Fuck, this life stinks like shit. Even so, I'm not one to mope in my own depression, I'm already up and back to take on the world. Screw you... don't force yourself to act like my friend. Oh wait you've already done that, my bad. Just a couple more months and I won't have to see you ever again.

With Love,
*catherine

In this entry I wanna reflect on my life so far. There has been a whole heap of downs that are accompanied by moments that tell me that I am not alone. Because I am a proud person, I tend to wanna get through with things alone, for a sense of self-accomplishment, for something that only I can be proud of. I'm gonna now reflect on my PRIDE in EXILE terms. I love EXILE too much.

What's Pride in EXILE's minds?
FULL ENTRY:
http://exilelove.wordpress.com/2008/08/11/whats-pride-in-exiles-minds/more-265

HIRO - Living Energy
I was always feeling PRIDE. To me, taking aesthetics in consideration, for sure it gives the feeling of standing out, and that's PRIDE. Because I have PRIDE, it's hard to fight against it and do things with modesty. That means there are no uncertainties in me, only absoluteness.
Most of the time I don't talk and I only respond to praises with a faint 'thank you'. I guess I'm not as much as an 'absolute' person as I want to be. I do take pride in my general appearance with the way I dress to be somewhat different, even if it's just with the accessories. [You don't see me carry around a Country Road bag, do ya? ;D] Even though I appear to have a lot of pride, I find it hard to brag about the things I'm good at. I mean if someone discovers something extraordinary about me, it's most likely because they've stumbled upon me when I've drifted off into my own world...

MATSU - An Undefeated Heart
It's like I could even expose my weak sides while still having PRIDE.
Compared to MATSU, he would appear to have no pride at all. Because of my pride, I refuse to risk embarrassing myself by showing my weak side. I also don't want to appear weak in front of people, because that's not how I want to portray myself to the world. I don't wanna be seen as them clumsy klutz who need help every time they trip. I'm those people you see who spring up right away after a fall [anyone remember when I TRIPPED over the super-low hurdles during athletics carnival?] But yeah, if I do happen to show a weak side, I often act tough to cover it up. Is that wrong? I mean it's not like it's hurting anyone. It's just how I recover, that's all :]

USA - Not Lying To Myself
Having honesty in my heart is PRIDE. ...I listen to the voice of my heart, like "is this something I really feel like doing, or is it more like NO?", and only when I'm sure I move forward. ...All of that is now part of my own identity.
Those who know me know that I don't drink. I'm one of the only couple of people with no alc in my system at any party. I'm proud so I don't drink 8D. Nah... it's more like 'I've decided not to drink, so I won't drink at all' and the fact that I wont subject myself to peer pressure. I'm too proud to let myself fall under that. However there are times I can't distinguish between what I want, and what others want. It surprises me that I can be selfless at times... what a shocker. But yeah, all this makes up to who I am; my identity. I want to be someone that not only my family is proud of, but someone who I am happy being as well.

MAKIDAI - The Strength Of Believing In Myself
Both mental and physical are important, because you'll sometimes run against a wall. That's why I think if you don't always give your best, you won't be able to pass the obstacles.
Has anyone seen me act tough? Maybe. But usually during those times, I'm least likely to bluff, just in case I have to prove myself. Physically, I think I might be alright with that, enough to get through the day. Mentally, I'm pretty weak, despite the fact that my words can be harsh at times. The things I say, especially if they sting, is probably because someone has done something to hurt my pride. I'm that protective of myself. I know... selfish, but would you expose yourself to a situation where you know you will get hurt? No one in their right mind would unless they think it's worth it. Most of time time, automagically, I put myself first. Whatever would make me a happy person.

ATSUSHI - Not Talking About It
I don't have PRIDE, so I'm not the one to talk about PRIDE. I have a long way to go, because I think I still have to challenge many things without PRIDE or something else. ...As for that, you may coincidentally feel pride, but it becomes more like a gratitude feeling.
I could mistaken pride as something else, but right now, I can't think of any other word to describe it. Unlike ATSUSHI, I can't do anything without my pride pushing me, nagging me from the back of my head to go kick some ass and achieve something out of it. In some situations, I do think it is better when pride does not get in the way, especially in emotional situations. Things can go wrong when you say the wrong thing to protect yourself too much...

Accomplishing The Small Things ~The Strength of Believing~"
When first performing with EXILE, I was accepted by many thousands of people, so I wasn't feeling pressure or anxiety. That pressure I put on myself, it was my own PRIDE. ...Finishing the common things you've to do today, even if failing to achieve something for tomorrow, that has it's immediate value...
I don't think I've made my life harder by having immense pride in myself. My pride reminds me of the things I'm good at, and helps me get back up when I feel like a failure, or when I feel inferior in a certain area. The pressure, the expectations I put on myself to get better at the many aspects in my life, they are all driven by my pride. I have my failing streaks, and it's during those times even my pride fails me. But when I do get back on my feet again, my pride is the one thing that pops back to me first, the rest such as motivation and dedication comes later.

<3 <3 <3 TAKAHIRO - Family
Having become an EXILE member, being able to sing to the world, having now the respect of many people, and also experiencing the solid love of my family, all of these I carry as my PRIDE. Overestimating myself is useless and it's just a stupid kind of PRIDE I don't want to have. However, if there's no PRIDE, you can't improve; it's because I had PRIDE that I could work on myself stoically, and continue to work with great effort. And also that was my dream. There are many things I want to make happen and I want to try, so the little effort I put in everyday will eventually pile up and give fruits.
I've kept TAKAHIRO's full entry because I feel that his opinion on pride closely matches with mine. Sometimes I think I overestimate myself, but it's just me setting high expectations, and imagining how I can overcome it, sort of like how a heroic figure would. I may not appear it, but I am actually insecure and indecisive. The only difference between TAKAHIRO and my opinion on pride is that he realizes that every 'little effort I put in everday' counts; I have yet to realize that. I like to rush things until they are done. If it takes a while to get done, unless I have enough motivation and dedication I would not attempt it. Being respected by people ensures that I have used my pride the way I should have, instead of using it to boast. [Because when I get pwned when I boast, it's embarassing. Still, humiliation is a virtue... well, it better be.]

Family... well they're there during the times my pride bursts out, or when I've lost it, they'll always be there to support me. Even if I never tell them my problems, for some reason they always come around to helping me without ever intending to. I guess that's what you call a family. I've got a lot to learn about how to rely on my family. I guess this is also where my pride gets in the way: I want to do everything I possibly can on my own, without anybody's help. I've gotta remember that my family is there for me to come back to.

*

Well that's that. Getting tired now. Again got no homework done. I gotta get my act together...Thanks for reading, people :] Please excuse any fobbiness. I believe my Engrish has gone downhill...

*catherine

Well well well I am now 18 and 1 day old. I feel like a 17 year old with more responsibilities. For a start I didn't even send in the electoral enrolment form I received ages ago from the Government. I now have the privilege to drive, but I've hardly touched the steering wheel since I got my L's two years ago. I got a very important English SAC in two days and I've done jack to prepare for it. Very responsible indeed...

Enough blabbering, let me tell you about my weekend.

[SATURDAY]

I woke up at 3. Yuh-huh~ I was meant to wake up earlier to go to the city and check out the eating places for lunch the next day. But I stayed home for a while and planned the day with Kien [because he won't let me cancel the birthday lunch =="] until it was time for me to go to church. I arrived at church early like usual, and saw all the altarkids and altarboys again. I missed them... even though they can get on my nerves sometimes. And guess who I saw as well... KEVIN!! Woot woot it's been months since I've last seen him. When I joined the group I just looked at him and he looked at me, until he was like 'OHH, CATHERINE!!!' and I replied 'HEYYY KEVIN!!!' followed by a hi-five and a hug ^^. He has longer hair now, and he's still the usual shrimpy person he is. He's exactly my height or shorter [sorry no he's not AT ALL any taller than me] but yeah. I watched Long and Phi [I think that's his name] wrestle each other and I told Long to 'pick on someone his own size'. Kevin pointed to me ==". Hah, so yeah, I admitted I was shorter than Kevin because it was convenient, and watched Kevin and Long wrestle. To my surprise, the shrimp won... Then it was church time! Ben and Long didn't serve ==" Ditchers.

I stayed back a bit longer with the choir kids because they wanted to play GTA on my PSP... then yeah, I decided it was time to go catch the tram to Melbourne Central. Hehe. I didn't have a metcard, but got away with it... there were surveyers on the tram and when they asked the guy next to me 'what metcard are you using?', I froze. Haha. But yeah it was all over when I got off the tram. I dropped by Coles because I felt like it, and because I thought the last bus was at 9:20, which it wasn't. I went around looking at food and checking the fat content, since I gained weight on WYD08... which doesn't make sense because I walked my arse off and I gained weight. DOESN'T ADD UP. I walked around the tuna and baked beans area because they reminded me so much of WYD. Haaa I miss the food. I miss the high sugar content and lack of water in my system which led to my bloodnoses for 3 consecutive days. So anyway... I bought a couple of things for my art folios for school and walked out. Got on the train to Sunshine Station and called my brother to pick me up...

[SUNDAY]

Being the unresponsible and unorganised person I am, I decided to invite my friends out on the last minute to lunch and karaoke...and of all days... ON A SUNDAY. But the outcome was pretty good. I didn't expect much people to come because of tutor and stuff. When I was getting ready to go, I got a call from a private number. There were a few consecutive 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY's and it kept me wondering who it was. There was a guy with a funny voice haha.. I asked who it was and he's like 'sif don't know who I am', so I asked what does your name start with... and they said 'M'... Reception was getting bad so I told them to call me back... which they did while I was incidentally making another call. I looked through my contacts starting with M and it wasn't that much help at all. I thought it was Tony Kim, then I thought it was Nam [M sounds like N so yeah, possibility] then I thought it was Victor.

[When I got home from the city, I found out it was Andrew, Tom and Michael from Sydney who made the call from Andrew's home phone. Haha such sweeties. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Sydney guys are so awesome ^^]
I made my way to the city early to book the place I planned to have lunch at. I was confident that the place would be open, since it said so on the website. It was a Japanese restaurant, called 'Tokyo Gardens', and you can eat there seated traditionally, a.k.a on cushions. Tokyo Gardens was my substitute for 'Yamato', which was recommended by Kien, and you can eat sitting on cushions too~ Anyway once I arrived at Tokyo Gardens, the place ended up being closed on SUNDAYS. Great. So I called Kien up and he just said to pick any place to eat now. I walked up and down La Trobe St until it was nearly 12, where I headed back to Melbourne Central without finding a place to eat.

Lawrence and Aubrey were the first to arrive, followed by Phuong and then Allan and Brian, the wombat. Lizzie came as well. Then Vi came... I think. Shirling came soon after along with Tuna and Phi who were going to another birthday. Aubrey gave me a bracelet with dog-related charms on it [so cute ^^] and called it my lucky charm, and Vi gave me a necklace with a footprint on it ^^. Phuong gave me earmuffs which were real awesome because I was looking around for some recently~ Melbourne Central also had this National Tree Day thing on, so some of us lined up for free trees and a $20 Melbourne Central voucher!!! WHEEEHEEE!!! So after about half an hour of me whinging about where to eat, we decided to eat at Suji Sushi, which Kien suggested around that time. As we headed down there, we decided to check out Dragon Boat. It was full. Bleh. But yeah Joseph joined up with us there. We walked until we saw a Japanese restaurant and in Chinatown, Chinko restaurants. Phuong and I did hammer, scissors, paper and I won, so we ate at the Japanese restaurant, called 'Oshikai'... I think. Phuong asked the waiter if he had enough seating for 14 people >_>"... the waiter was like WTF. So we reduced the number to 12 since I did a recount of the people actually coming for lunch. Lunch was filling for me, since I had a whole plate of Kaisen something something but it was number 24 on the menu, along with the Iced Chocolate thing.

When we finished eating, Shirling and Vi dragged me to the toilets >_>" I didn't intend to go but I went anyway. Then Vi told me to sit on the toilet seats and pretend to ..yeah. >_>" It was awkward but I did that anyway, and Vi took a picture of it [yessir the photo is safe for kids to look at]. Then we went downstairs and TADAAAA~ TIRAMISU CAKE FROM AUBREY WITH CANDLES ON IT!!!~ Ahh I love Aubrey... she went out of her way just to celebrate olding day with me... I appreciate you coming :] LOVE YOU SWORDIEE!~ Ja.. then after a couple of failed attempts to sing Happy Birthday, everyone managed to sing the whole song while I was leaning on Aubrey's shoulder. Then after taking a couple of practise breaths, I blew out all the candles~ YAY. I had to cut the cake... which I was scared of doing because of the 'touch the bottom, you have to kiss the nearest guy' thing. In this case I had to kiss Phuong so to save myself, I stopped cutting right before hitting the bottom, and got Lizzie to cut the cake for me ^^. So we munched out on cake and I had to return the lighter someone borrowed from the waiter =___=". The waiter tried to teach me to say 'happy birthday' in Chinese, but I failed =___=" He then offered to sing the birthday song in Chinese for me! He was clapping softly to it so I joined in as well~ haha I think he was shy. Woot woot~ After we finished pigging out on cake and [Lawrence ate the most cake], we packed up, I took a pic with the waiters and left. Whee whee whee~ Oh and we packed the leftover cake in the takeaway container the Lawrence way. It was the smart way. I can't be bothered explaining but yeah.

We headed off to Photoworld and it was the first time I actually took photos there... How noob does that sound? Anyway we had a pretty hard time since the machines were too good and there was a lot of people to fit in the machine. The guy who was wondering about [he works there] was of great help to us~ Oh and we saw Minh there. Random. In the end we took two purikura's and headed out, since the place was pretty stuffy. Also we left because we were late to Karaoke, which I had booked at 3.30pm.

On the long azz way to Kbox, William gave me a call and told me to choose between 'EXILE, something and something'. I heard EXILE loud and clear so I just chose that ^^... We continued on our way to Kbox where we met up with William and Nancy. They gave me... EXILE CATCHY BEST CD+DVD!!! Fudge I am now motivated to collect all three of the EXILE BEST albums releasing this year~ Karaoke was pretty cool because we got the MOST UPDATED JAPANESE SONGS!!! However the English songs compared to the past karaoke sessions were a bit outdated. OH WELL~ Vi, Shirling and Lawrence went out to buy drinks... as in DRINKS drink as in ALCOHOL D8... Right... anyway... some of the songs I remember singing were:

Aoyama Thelma - Soba ni Iru ne [NEW NEW NEW!!!]
Leah Dizon - Love Paradox [NEW NEW NEW!!!]
Leah Dizon - Softly [a must sing every session for me]
ERIKA - FREE [had a dry throat from this =___=]
EXILE - Lovers Again [Lizzie attempted it as well ^^]
FTTS - Like A Man [our first song for the session]
BoA - Everlasting [sang with William and Kien]
Otsuka Ai - Kingyo Hanabi [with William]
YUI - Good-bye Days [with Nancy]
YOUNHA - Te wo Tsunaide [had trouble but it was fun ^^ sang with Nancy]
Aqua Timez - Sen no Yoru wo Koete [with Kien and Lawrence, Kien improved heaps~]

And more... note that I only remember Japanese/Korean songs ^^...

Eventually people had to go... Phuong, Allan, Shirling and Vi... Joseph as well. There was Kien, Lawrence, Lizzie, Nancy and William left. And we made the most out of the remainder of the session~ Lawrence kept freaking us out with his creepy laugh [I'm not sorry if you read this] We planned to add on another half hour but yeah, that wasn't allowed. So we finished at 6pm, paid for the session and left. It was pouring outside, but Lawrence brought a few jackets and an umbrella [which he should've lent to Nancy but he didn't =="] that I didn't use so yeah. We made our way back to Melbourne Central where William and Nancy left us, and took 3 minutes to make our way down to our platform. The train ride was pretty quiet, with Kien playing Stepmania on PSP while I silenced myself for being so noob at it. Lawrence was DS-ing >_>" We arrived at Sunshine Station [Kien: awww what we're here already?] and made our way to the bus stop. The 451 stop was full of people, so we waited at another bus shelter thingo. We were pretty loud there so people must've thought we were high on something... haha... especially Lawrence [cue his sulking]. While we were waiting we annoyed the frick out of Lizzie with the Konata Timotei ringtone I had. Hehe good times. And we were being retards, talking about 'guys dont pee, they piss' and stuff alike... Oh and we rubbed in Lizzie's face about Lawrence, Kien and I being 18 and how great it is and blah. William joined us soon after~ which was a surprise~ Anyway Kien and Lawrence left 5 minutes before us I think... around the time when these randoms with an accent asked us for a photo.. we ignored them. It was freaky because I noticed a flash coming from their camera a couple of minutes beforehand. Took a picture of us without our permission pfft. Anyway our bus came and William left us to go to his bus stop. As I was walking back to my bus stop with Lizzie, I noticed John Truong who went to my primary school. What coincidence. Yeahh... anyway we got home... and I planned to do some homework but I lost the will to tire myself out any further. Instead I replied to every birthday wish I got on MSN, MySpace and Facebook. I also had a good conversation with Tom and Bao ^^. I found out the 'Pinky' guy that I met at Bankstown's name was actually Benny, not Tom. I was an idiot to have fallen for that. Haku did some clever trick on me as well... he's so lucky to be in Sydney at the moment.

Anyway I've written long enough, must shower now because I stink. Haha. Oh yeahhh today, I barely avoided having the birthday song sung to me by the class ^^. I got a plush cat in a box from Helen Do, Hikaru and Shirling!!! It's sooo sooo cute and soft~ <3 When they gave it to me, I went to hug Hikaru because I haven't seen her all day o_o"... so yeah. I opened their present with much difficulty, since there were layers of newspaper and GREEN WRAPPING =="... But yeah it was fun. I pulled out the cat when I saw it even though it said 'fragile' >_>"... I refused the default name for the cat plush, which was Roxy. So I named the cat 'Tiramisu' because the colour reminded me of my birthday cake from Aubrey~ but it became too hard for me to say [yer I'm fob], so I named it Cappucino. In the end I named it C.C, because it has all the colours of a corn chip, it sounds like Shi shi and shishi-za in Japanese means LEO, and it also represents [Ca]ppu[c]ino... yeah... and because C.C from Code Geass is awesome even though she has green hair [another significance: green hair = green wrapping!!!]. YEAHHH okay gotta go because I'm a bit more stinky now.

TAKE CARE, thanks for reading!!!

*catherine

P.S - This blog is fairly long.. I know. I tried to copy Viet and make it as long as I could, remembering every single detail as my goldfish memory can recall.

For those who came on Sunday, I apologise again for the very very late notice and I really appreciated you guys coming to celebrate my birthday with me~ I should've planned all this earlier if I had known I was gonna end up doing something...

As for Richard, a fellow Sydney scouter who shares the same birthday as me, I hope he did something for his 21st, since to me that's just as important as an 18th~ ^^. If not now, then some time this week...or soon. He better man, since he made me do something for my 18th... =="

BYE BYE!

Here are some random recollections of WYD08... I'm sorry if they don't make much sense.

Before I went to WYD, we had our first family dinner with Linhnam's family. It was the first time I met Anh Co as well. He told me about his Japan trip and I got mega jealous...

WYD was fun, although I reckon I would've gotten a lot more out of it if I had a pair of rocket sneakers...

PRELUDE: We gathered at St Catherine of Siena Primary School in Prestons with the VCYAM group. We settled down in our classrooms and bludged around since nothing was planned that day. I had a peek into the shower cubicles we had... it was terrible. Three shower heads and no curtains inbetween... The school itself was awesome, like it was some rich school or something. But yeah we had a welcoming barbeque there...

DAY ONE: Had an long azz opening mass at Whitlam Leisure Centre... kinda snobbed Hikaru off because I didn't know what to say.. We got on the train to Circular Quay for some exploring... got a look at the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the Opera House... and finally made our way to Barangaroo for yet ANOTHER opening mass, but in English. We stayed for the concert which was fun azz... got a bracelet from the Columbian people...which I had lost... Anyway, I don't remember much from this day so... yeah. Oh yeah, we walked around so much, my butt hurt so bad, it was a pain in the ass to sit down.

DAY TWO: Bludged around Circular Quay as the elders in our group attended the English catechesis... Involved a lot of photowhoring... and bubble blowing. I think I tried to pull off an allnighter but failed when I got nice and cosy in my sleeping bag...

DAY THREE: Gathered at the Whitlam Centre again, this time for catechesis... "altarserved" for the mass I think... and yeah. Wagged Taize to go to Bankstown with Bernie to get materials to make souvenirs a.k.a Koala keyrings. ^^ In the evening we were served with rotten tasting food and sat back to enjoy the concert held by the Vietnamese pilgrims. It was then I noticed Hoang/Kim, Nhu's cousin... I could've said 'Hi' if I knew who he was =="... always a next time. We went to Barangaroo again to welcome the Pope AND I met up with Deva that day! I carried Lizzie on my shoulders ^^ We then met up with Victor and Bao afterwards to go to a 'street party' which we later ditched for POOOLLLLLL. Throughout the evening Bao and I were being retards, a.k.a 'Ho' and 'Ngu' aka 'Dumb Slut' [quote Victor] >_>... I called up Richard to check of the number Bao gave me worked... which it did. Then when Victor came up to give me a hug, I said 'hey, Richard' instead of 'Victor'... how embarassing.

DAY FOUR: At 3 in the morning I signed the St. Catherine's welcome banner... and because I took my sweet time, some lady beat me to the showers, so I had to wait for my turn. I was the first VIETNAMESE person to breakfast since I pulled an allnighter solely for that purpose AND to finish off making souvenir koalas. Anyhoots today was the Stations of the Cross. Again, bludge. I was barely interested except to notice that the person who acted as Jesus did not really have the typical 'Jesus' look. I also met up with Deva that day ^^

DAY FIVE: ...was the long awaited PILGRIMAGE WALK. Our group walked a whole 9km because we wanted to cross the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and I paid the price for it with blisters =="... When we arrived at Randwick Racecourse, I met Anthony Le!!! Haven't seen him for a while... we went around taking photos with people... and yeah. That night I had to sell crosses during the Vigil and met up with Van and Hung! We went around to the Indonesian people and traded for an Indonesian badge, which is now in my possession...somewhere. Hung talked Vietnamese to the Indonesian pilgrims by accident after telling me that I can't talk Viet properly >_>. Anyhoots when I got back I was extremely bored so I talked to Viet and for the the first time, Peter. We walked around to section D and I ran to Hung's place again. We went toilet and the Viet/Peter group ditched us ==" I went back to my area after dropping Hung off to his 'bedroom' and found Viet and Peter again. We talked for a bit because I couldn't be stuffed getting out my sleeping bag... which later on I did because it was pho-ing cold. I slept sideways.

FINALE: I woke up because my dream told me to. There was a tent next to me and I found out that Anthony was sleeping indirectly next to me. So I punched him when he woke up through the tent wall ^^. That day I got to see the Pope from 3m away, only because I was locked out on my way back from going to the toilets, and got front row seats from the gates. After the Pope passed by, we were allowed to pass by the gate. As I walked back, I got teary... for some reason. I remembered that Hung told me that when he saw the Pope from 3m away, he started crying. He didn't like the new Pope until then...for some reason. Anyway I got to meet up with Bao, Victor, Andrew, Stephie, Nam and his cousin and Phi, who went to the Final Mass because they were told to by Anh Tam. Anyway Nam was leaning on me and then some VCYAM guy walked passed and tapped me on my shoulder and smiled. I froze. LAWL. He walked back from the toilets without looking at us. I also helped out a Chinese-I-Think lady with the Eucharist. Anyway we had to leave the Sydney boys and go back to our place... Walked back to the station where there was only me and Cuong left from our group, the rest of the group fell behind... anyway we boarded the train back first with the Springvale group. And I packed up first... and got ready to leave. When everyone else came back, I said my goodbyes, and left for Linhnam's house for another family dinner. It was fun azz. We then watched a movie, 'Event Horizon' and then moved on to Death Note ^^ Then it was snooze time.

OUTING: was crap. Quang wasn't there because he 'didn't know about it'... Richard didn't come either. I ditched the group to do some exploring, and because I needed time to myself. I bought two Gatsby hairwax!!! I cried on the train ride back... but got my act together and photowhored with Phi ^^

THIS MORNING: Woke up... woke Linhnam up for school... we had to leave. After eating breakfast, we said our goodbyes... I wanted to wake up Anh Co but ended up not doing so, even though it was ONLY 30mins until his scheduled wake up call... I left... crying myself to sleep in the car.

Gonna end here because I'm tired.
NEXT WYD IS GONNA BE HELD IN: MADRID, SPAIN!!!..
LET'S LEARN SPANISH PEOPLE!!

*catherine

I got out of Bankstown train station with the wrong ticket. Hah. I swear I hate the public transport systems here. Train ticket is separate from the bus ticket. You can only buy train tickets from what station you're at to your destination. Which was why I couldn't get out of Bankstown station... until Victor talked to the very intimidating CityRail people and explained that I was from Melbourne... but yeah. Pretty frustrating.

Oh and today's the Commissioning Mass at Telstra Dome. I wonder how that went...

I'm currently staying over a place called 'LIVERPOOL'!!! YAY!! Perfect place for me and if I ever get lost, I'll immediately be UN-LOST. GO LIVERPOOL! HEHE............and we're pretty much a stone's throw away from tomorrow's campsite and where I'm staying for WYD08!!! And and... the place I'm staying for WYD08 is... ST CATHERINE OF SIENA PRIMARY SCHOOL!!! YEAHH!!! I'll never be lost in this place.

Anyway I got news about the results of the soccer tournament today... Commandos came SECOND!!! ^^ We still get the shoes despite not getting first place. I seriously wished I was there...

Today I met up with Victor who unlike Andrew, Tom and especially Bao, came early. After walking around, we decided to watch a movie! Guru...something... can't spell. Anyway it was pretty funny~ Here's what stuck with me for the rest of the day...

Basic
Instructions
Before
Leaving
Earth

Why that stuck with me, I'm not so sure... maybe because it was religious... ^^

Afterwards we just... sat on the grass and Lizzie and I just listened to the guys talk their heart away about Dota >_>... I SWEAR I REALLY HATE DOTA. It's taken over loads of guy's lives... It's so sad! Anyway a fellow scout came along, Michael, might see him at camp tomorrow. Then Tom's school friends came along. This guy, apparently named Tom as well...I nicknamed him Pinky cuz he was wearing a pink shirt 8D 8D... kept asking if I was really from Melbourne. Then before Lizzie and I left from boredom, he mentioned Melbourne shufflers and I just said 'I don't shuffle, hate it'. I must've sounded like an ass but shuffling is a stereotype to Melbourners...

Anyway afterwards Lizzie and I went to Nandos and fed ourselves... So impolite of our Sydney friends to ditch us like that... FOR DOTA. Anyway we walked off our overflowing digestive systems by walking around Spotlight. Yeah I'm totally obsessed with that place. And. I FOUND RED AND BLUE-GRAY LACE. THEY DID NOT HAVE THAT IN MELBOURNE. Well... not that I know of anyway. Anyway I just bought random stuff to make another ring and to fix up my paperclip earring... We went on the train back to Liverpool.

Hmmm... and now I'm back home. I just finished packing for camp. I took out some stuff because I realized I brought too much for a two-day camp... I don't know what to expect from camp except maybe a long-azz lecture from the leaders about my attendance... haha.

I should be playing Crisis Core now. I WANT TO COMPLETE ALL THE MISSIONS!!! Even though I already clocked the game.

Anyway shower time BYE BYE!
During my stay in Sydney I shall not take showers for granted...I'll be sure to explain why next time...

*catherine

First I'd like to start of with.. Happy birthday to Bijou from Hamtaro and Koizumi Koutarou, son of the ex-prime minister of Japan who's an actor... It's a shame I've never really seen him act before... Anyhoots.

I think yesterday was a significant night for me so I decided to recall as much as I can into this super-long blog. I'm sorry if you get bored ^^

And I'm over Kaoru. Funny. What a waste. I gave my own nickname to him >_>...

Last night I was on my way to Sydney... but before that I went to St. John's to hear Father Hong talk. Usually I'd listen with my full attention... but something or someone kept me from doing so... Also his talks weren't particularly as good as the ones from camp, maybe because he was tired from the trip here... Apparently he'll also be at the scout camp I'll be at. YEEEHAAA!!

So anyways, I finally got to meet Viet. He looks much younger than I thought...and I think he's friends with the OTHER Viet I know from scouts. Hrmm.. small world. Didn't get to talk to him much but anyway.

I was sitting in church when I saw someone who looked like Hikaru walk by. I called out his name and he came to sit next to me. We sat quietly listening to Father Hong talk for the first half but distracted ourselves with our phones throught the second half. We just sent each other photos...and he got my sister's details as well. Hikaru is very easily fascinated... shown the time he saw my prototype cake ring I was wearing. Hikaru said I have fat fingers because he couldn't pull the ring off my finger >_>... It stuck with me throughout that time... that although I was constantly the one who's always thinking of him, but it was not the other way around unless it was in a close-friendly way. Anyway when he grabbed my hand I couldn't help but get the wrong idea. I've never let anyone handle with my feelings before so please understand that.. despite how many times I appear to have "fallen in love", I'm noob with love.

At the end of Father Hong's talk, he went around looking for Hikaru's mum. I also ran into Andrew Van who I met at camp. I think he got a haircut because his hair looks much better than I last remembered... Anyway I left Hikaru alone after we went outside to find his mum, since he went back inside. I didn't wanna appear to be attached and clingy to him, so I'm glad I had some self control over that. As I hung around outside, I saw Andrew again but I think he was on the phone.

I saw Joseph from camp and I said hi to him as well. He came up to me and asked where all the other people are. I just said they're not here... whoever the other people may be. Anyway just then Martin came out to say hi as well, then he asked 'Is Joseph here?'... and he wasn't. And then altarserving Joseph came out and I said bye to him as well. Wow... talk about the attack of the Josephs.

My dad called me and asked me for the car keys... I forgot I had them. Hikaru hadn't come back yet so... I was prepared to leave without saying goodbye to him. 'Maybe this was how it's meant to be', I thought. I looked over to Joseph. He looked a bit different from what I remembered.. maybe because he didn't wear the beanie... He said so himself.

I would like to "interrupt" with a story about hugs.

As the time to say goodbye loomed closer, Takashi and Kaoru stood in silence for a brief moment. Kaoru knew this was the only time they may see each other again, so she held out her arms to him. They walked in to close the gap between them to complete the embrace. She felt his head somehow move against her's. She let go of his back but he kept holding on. Kaoru put her arms back and tightened her embrace, until he said "You're killing me". So she loosened her grip and let go... but he still held on for a while longer. He finally let go..followed by a strange remark: "You smell nice". Kaoru smiled but she didn't say anything, although she knew the right thing to say back was "thank you". She gave her other friend a goodbye hug, unable to make eye contact with him or Takashi. They both waved goodbye and told Kaoru to have a safe trip and all...Until now, she would not stop embracing that moment with Takashi... and the scent of her hair.

Back to reality.

For some reason my feelings can be manipulated so easily. After I hugged Joseph and Andrew, I went back inside. I saw Hikaru again. He was talking to his mum and when I walked closer I heard his mum say something about 'he needs to go back to see his friends outside'... then Hikaru turned around and saw me and my sister. I hugged him goodbye... thought it was none of the hugs like before. This time it was a bit more awkward to me.. maybe because his mum was right behind him [yes I did say hi to her, I'm friendly to adults yay.] or maybe because right before, someone was able to manipulate my feelings so easily somehow... I'm not so sure myself... I'm pretty scared.

A few minutes after I fell asleep in the car, I received a message from Hikaru. I didn't reply until.. 6-ish hours later when I woke up. I was pretty happy...I sent two messages back. HAHA. But I couldn't .. stop thinking about the other person.

I feel so lost.

Anyway I arrived in Sydney a few hours ago. ANDDD I MET LINHNAM!!! My distant cousin! Ah he's such a funny person. He cleaned up the whole house before we came.. haha... and that's it so far. He just fed me cake 8D.

OH OH GONNA SEE VICTOR AND BAO TOMORROW!!! WOOOOOHOOO!! And more people if they can come... oh.. and I forgot.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!!! [Sydney one]

*catherine

P.S: Hope no one tries to touch me in my sleep D8...

P.S.S: I talked to Yabu-chan again the other day. It was nice... I haven't talked to him for a while... in fact it's been months. He still has that dorky smiling emoticon...

Has anyone had a taste of this dish called 'CAT'S LIFE'? It's DISGUSTING!

So far this week I've been cramming in homework and getting -somewhere-... I got two essays done at least ^^. That's the only thing I'm proud of at the moment. All this hard work just so that I can see God's work in it's ultimate form: WORLD YOUTH DAY 2008!!! CAN'T WAIT <3

I'm scared of the future. Career-wise... love-wise... family-wise... friends-wise... Cat-wise... Frick I'm turning 18 soon, frick frick frick. I'm not even ready for it x_x"... Would somebody like to trade birthdays with me?

Career-wise: IT'S A COMPETITIVE LIFE OUT THERE. All you gotta do is aim for the top and actually get there... *sigh* hard work puts me off ever wanting to dream again. I wanna get into Industrial Design... but it's not gonna be easy. After year 12, it's not just uni I have to worry about. It's my whole life in general since I'll need to find a job and stuff... GET A CAR! But before that... LEARN TO DRIVE THAT THING.

Love-wise... I'll save this 'til last.

Family-wise: lots of families undergo a lot of change, including mine. I mean I never know when my brother/sister will move out and stuff... anyway when I grow up, I'll have to contribute to the family as well. No more taking taking taking taking taking taking... I actually do give too. I give a lot...laundry-wise... dishes-wise... waste-wise... mess-wise... 8D...

Friends-wise: I gotta admit I'm still pretty immature in some areas regarding trust and stuff... but at least I wasn't dumb enough to pull the wrong strings...on purpose. So therefore from that experience, I'm pretty strict and hard on myself as well as others about trust... 'screw up once, then twice then I stop talking to you'... I just don't know who to open up to now, people tend to just come and go... when they come, I tell them my problems... when they go, they take with them my stories... So I apologise if I haven't matured like you have, and be like them strong silent types. These days I just don't know what to say for myself.

LOVE-WISE!!!
Well everytime I like someone, there are always complications. Like how I get mad instantly when I see/hear another girl's name in the next sentence where his name was mentioned or something. I get pissed pretty easily and explode to this word:

SHWAMMMBAKABAKABOOM

If you use Facebook you'd probably recognise that word from my page.
I always say forget but I never do. I always say SCREW THIS SHIT and throw it at somebody's face in my imagination, but I begin to pick up the pieces again...in my imagination. In other words... my love-wise-ness is still the same as it was back in ...year 8. How disappointing.

10 more days 'til WYD08, one more day 'til it's all SINGLE DIGITS, BABY!
4 MORE DAYS 'TIL I LEAVE FOR SYDNEYYYY...

Reminds me. I have to clean up the house/room/desk... and pack for this 1 week and a half faith trip.

I can't wait to see my Sydneyers again :]
Victor <3 <3, Nam, Bao, Karol, Andrew, Tom, Quang, Maz, ROBERRRTTT ==" that guy better still have my Naruto headband... I hope I didn't miss out on anyone. ANYHOOTS GET OFF BEBO AND GETCHURR ASS ONTO MYSPACE ;D

OH OH AND SPECIAL MENTION TO RICHARD FROM SYDNEY!! SAME BIRTHDAY ;D Get ready to turn 21! ^^

Thanks for reading!

*catherine

Listening to: Songs from Huy Vu's website [Viet music ;] ]

"You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us, I'm tripping you"

Sorry, that was very random of me~

Today's the last day of term 3. I swear I''m so over school! Ms. Dixon was like 'I'm so over this~'. What can you say? It's been 12 friggin' weeks of school [with plenty of excursions and day offs]... and it's all finished! I LIVED THROUGH 12 WEEKS OF SCHOOL !

I was pretty dead today, spent most of the day doing random stuff [mind you... SCHOOL stuff] while listening to F.T.Island - Soyogi [Breeze] on repeat. Such a nice song, Helen.N got me addicted to it. She told me that if I listened to it before I went to sleep, I'll have a sweet dream. AND IT'S TRUE! After so many uneventful sleeps with dreams of nothing but darkness, I've finally had a decent dream! To sum it up, I was at a friend's birthday that for some reason... was a CAMP. I finally got to talk to this guy I see around a lot but never got the chance to talk to. And I got laughed at because apparently when I was asleep, people saw my undies stick out, WTF? It's like they opened up my sleeping bag LAWL...perverts. Besides that unfortunate event, it was overall a good dream.

This girl that likes the guy I like is apparently "heartbroken". It may seem heartless to say this but I was SMILING with excitement when I found out. But yeah, if the same thing happens to me, I reckon I can easily move on without ever moving BACK. I probably won't whinge about it on MSN, but I'll mention it in my future blogs. Hehe.

Oh and today I accomplished something! I called up the WYD people to change groups to the VCYAM [Vietnamese Catholic Youth Association, Melbourne Archdiocese] one! Took me long enough... I'm never confident with 'formal' conversations on the phone, but since I managed to talk like a grown up [pffftttt] today, I felt as though I've done something GREAT!!! Now I'm in the same group as everyone else~ OOH camp photos are loaded on the VCYAM website [not taken by me, some were taken by Vu I think... I mean... there was a pic of the sunrise at the beach we went to ^^], check them out and try to spot me at http://vcyam.net !!! And my Hikaru is in there as well ;] Though you won't be able to tell who my Hikaru would be~

Ahhh, that was good preparation for my coming of age *shivers*...

OH OH! 18 DAYS 'TIL WORLD YOUTH DAYYYY~

Yesterday I had a very good chat with Victor, a fellow scout from Sydney who I've met at the camp that was held right before New Year's Eve. Here's our conversation :] Obviously I'm the red/pink and he's the blue. I'll also end my blog here! ENJOY LIFE EVERYONE! Thanks for reading!

*catherine

[11:03:09 PM] -: LOL
[11:03:12 PM] -: anywhoo
[11:03:15 PM] -: we mish you
[11:03:16 PM] -: =]
[11:03:20 PM] -: YOU WERE
[11:03:23 PM] -: THE FIRST PERSON WHO FED ME
[11:03:29 PM] -: =D OR TO ANYTHING ME
[11:03:31 PM] -: LOL
[11:04:01 PM] -  »: xDDDDD
[11:04:04 PM] -  »: oh yeah..
[11:04:12 PM] -  »: i remember hours before i fed u
[11:04:22 PM] -  »: u tried to talk to me but i was stoned at the time
[11:04:28 PM] -  »: so u thought i didnt want to talk to you ;___;
[11:04:28 PM] -: i did? oO
[11:04:31 PM] -  »: yeahh
[11:04:36 PM] -: ooh remind me?
[11:04:41 PM] -  »: i just did xD
[11:04:53 PM] -  »: i forgot when, but it was probably that morning
              the day i fed u
[11:04:54 PM] -  »: haha
[11:05:05 PM] -: LOL
[11:05:06 PM] -: waiit
[11:05:09 PM] -: but how did i try to talk
[11:05:11 PM] -: o_O
[11:06:13 PM] -  »: u just approached me randomly
[11:06:19 PM] -  »: asked how i was or something
[11:06:32 PM] -  »: forgot what i said but i said it in a very =____=
              way cuz i was tired lawl
[11:06:45 PM] -: =[
[11:07:03 PM] -  »: and then u said something like ..well suggesting
              to me that u know i dont wanna talk to you or something
              ;__;
[11:07:09 PM] -  »: i was like 'nooo no that's not itttt'
[11:07:11 PM] -  »: then yeah xD
[11:07:21 PM] -  »: hours later, i fed you rice crackers |D
[11:07:37 PM] -: =D i just remember the rice crackers
[11:08:03 PM] -  »: aww okay xDD
[11:08:08 PM] -  »: at that time u were like
[11:08:21 PM] -  »: walking to me saying "im hungrryyyyyy" oO or
              something lawl
[11:08:29 PM] -  »: hahaha almost melted >_>
[11:09:08 PM] -: OOH
[11:09:09 PM] -: LOL I RMEMEBER
[11:09:14 PM] -: I WAS SAYING THAT TO MYSELF
[11:09:16 PM] -: ==; i think
[11:09:18 PM] -: and you were like
[11:09:22 PM] -: eating
[11:09:23 PM] -  »: are u serious 0_0
[11:09:29 PM] -: LOL well
[11:09:30 PM] -: i saw you eating
[11:09:32 PM] -  »: xDD
[11:09:40 PM] -: the nim like "im hungryyyy @_@;"
[11:09:43 PM] -: xD then you fed me
[11:09:44 PM] -: bahahah
[11:09:49 PM] -: =O i was gonna grab soomme
[11:10:34 PM] -: then i rememberrrr... you walking away thinking "the
              hell =="..?"
[11:10:35 PM] -: LOL
[11:10:46 PM] -  »: i walked away? D8
[11:12:47 PM] -  »: lawl im such a jerk oO
[11:12:52 PM] -  »: was this before i fed u or after oO
[11:15:30 PM] -: after
[11:15:33 PM] -: x] buit i thought i scared you
[11:15:36 PM] -: but then later
[11:15:42 PM] -: i was recognised you
[11:15:44 PM] -: and were like
[11:15:52 PM] -: "oooo heeyy the girl who fed me <3"
[11:15:53 PM] -: =D
[11:16:19 PM] -  »: xDDDDD
[11:16:34 PM] -  »: nah i was happy cuz i thought u thought i was a
              snob and yeah
[11:16:46 PM] -  »: but it was all cleared up when i fed you xD
[11:16:49 PM] -  »: well thats how i saw it
[11:16:51 PM] -  »: Awwww ~~
[11:17:00 PM] -  »: DUDE i still cant believe ur in sydney.
[11:17:04 PM] -: x]] LOL
[11:17:10 PM] -: how come oO
[11:17:49 PM] -: I REMMEMBER CHILLI
[11:18:30 PM] -  »: OMFG
[11:18:31 PM] -  »: I DIED
[11:18:32 PM] -  »: ><
[11:18:35 PM] -: LOL
[11:18:37 PM] -: SIF DIED
[11:18:39 PM] -: YOU WEREL IKE
[11:18:40 PM] -: A MAN
[11:18:40 PM] -: LOL
[11:18:46 PM] -  »: NOO I COULDNT STAND IT ><
[11:18:52 PM] -: LOL
[11:18:55 PM] -: all teh sydneyers
[11:18:56 PM] -: died
[11:18:59 PM] -: and you were like
[11:19:01 PM] -: -sniff- mm not bad
[11:19:02 PM] -: =D
[11:19:06 PM] -: well not reall
[11:19:09 PM] -  »: HAHHA yeah i cried kinda
[11:19:10 PM] -: yBUT LOL STILL
[11:19:17 PM] -  »: quang's eyes were red >_>
[11:19:33 PM] -  »: but yeah, its my camp tradition, every camp, i eat
              at least one bit of chilli
[11:24:04 PM] -: LOL
[11:24:07 PM] -: x] melbourne are men
[11:24:21 PM] -: ima go sleep cattt =D
[11:24:23 PM] -: goodnight
[11:24:23 PM] -: x]
[11:25:28 PM] -                                                
              -♥ |Pillow||BOOMboom||outtaMY- is now Offline
[11:25:40 PM] -  »: xDD good night vicky

Idealist is I. Maybe not for much longer.

Yesterday I said to myself: AS OF THIS MOMENT I DO NOT LIKE ANYONE.
Funny how things all change the next day...
I end up eating my own words...
Mind you they taste grammatically yuck.
[I have my own cat dialect, catlish]
Everytime I talk to him...
I grow to adork him more and more...
But what if he's nice like that to everyone...
That'd be so gay.

And I wonder who that girl is... *bricked*.

ANYWAY GETTING LATE, I'M OFF!

*catherine

I know my <3 LIFE is very confusing, I tend to be jumping about a lot. But that's just me being indecisive at this stage... ENJOY LIFE PEOPLE!