To be thankful for whom you hold dear.

In this time of economic crisis, the holiday season takes on a new meaning for people. Or should I say the original meaning? The holiday season, for many decades has turned into a commercial nightmare. People have been evolved into thinking that this is what the season is all about. How much money can you spend? How much can you get in return? Must go shop! Must not forget anyone! If I don't get someone a gift they will feel like I don't love them! My kids have to have that Nintendo PS360, its top of the line! Honestly, it turns people into lunatics. I blame Hallmark.

Now I realize that for some, things haven't really changed. You still make the same amount as before, your bills for the most part are the same. But it is enough of a change to show us that some of those wanted items aren't exactly necessary. It's also enough to make us realize that this is not what the season is about, some of us anyway. It's about family and friends and letting you know you're thinking of them.

Now, I'm not the best at keeping open the lines of communication. I suck at snail mail correspondence. I usually forget about returning that email I keep promising. I sometimes answer my phone. And as for blogging…Well…Instant messaging is probably the best method of getting a hold of me. But don't think that I'm not thinking of you.

My friends and family, especially my brothers and sisters from military past, you are an extension of my own family. From the young servicemen to the dependents growing up on Okitraz Island, you have become my kindred. We have grown together, watched each other mature into our separate lives, gotten married, had children and just be who we are now. It's fascinating to watch your children grow and to know how you were back when we weren't that much older than children ourselves.  Your children too, I hold dear as they are an extension of you. I hope to be that cool Uncle Lee that they'll be able to come talk to and tell those stories of when their parents were younger. (Some stories may have to wait till they are much older.)

My brothers and sisters, I wish you a happy holidays; however you may choose to celebrate them. And I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and your families.

On the evening of March 15th 2008, District Attorney General for the 21st Judicial District of Tennessee, former Metro Nashville Police officer, retired U.S. Coast Guard Reserve Captain Ronald Leo Davis lost his battle to cancer in which he was a POW to for over a year. He surrendered under his own terms and went quietly into the night.

Now in the world beyond, this Officer and Gentleman, brave and true, shall protect and guide us from afar.

May he rest in peace.

As most of you know I've been in Information Technology for a number of years, especially focused in security. With my experience and a master's degree in information Security, I'm considered an expert in my field. One of my biggest passions in this field isn't about the Enterprise Security that I deal with on a daily basis but the threats and concerns of children on the internet. Being a father of 3, especially now that they are coming of an age that the internet will be a big part of their lives; this hits really close to home.

We now live in an age where any information is easily accessible and instant communication has made the world a tiny place. Terms like Google, chat rooms, texting and instant messaging are as common as school, text books and using the phone. Sadly, in the security world, terms like scamming, cyber predators and identity theft are just as common. Even though we know these things happen in the real world, they are just as prevalent on the web.

 The problem is generation-wise not all of us adults grew up with the technology and may shy away from it or think that these things would never happen to them. The thing is, our children will be even more plugged in and get to the point that they will understand the technology far beyond the adults. I remember my mother thinking I was a technical genius just because I could get the VCR from blinking 12:00.

I'm not trying to say shield our children from the web. It will be an integral part of their lives. But for those parents who only have a vague concept if how it all works and how they can be more proactive in what their children are doing on the web, I want to write a book that will give these concepts in layman's terms. Honestly, the technology isn't as difficult to understand as the figurative Nerd-Squad in your local electronics/appliance store would have you believe. It's what keeps them in a job (and feeling intellectually superior to the non-IT people that come in).

So to sum it up: A book on Internet Safety and Security; tips on protecting yourself and your children plus some general understanding on how it all works. (The net isn't made of little tubes… really.)

Would you buy this?

It's no secret that I was looking to leave my current company. The local work environment had become very...ehh...Well lets just say the environment had changed and not in a way that I was comfortable with. We'll leave it at that. I'm sure that those of you who previously or currently work there can attest to it. Anyway, a few months ago I started heavily looking for something new. Finally, after many interviews and even a couple of offers...I've found a new job.

I have been hired on at Nissan as a Sr. Data Integrity Analyst. Its pretty much the same thing I was doing for my current company except that all of Nissan's datacenter is outsourced to IBM. It's considered a management position but I technically won't have anyone to manage. Basically, I will be a liason between Nissan and IBM and making sure that the IBM guys are doing what they are supposed to be doing as far as Security is concerned. Granted, this means I'm not really "hands on" any more but I still have to keep my skills up to snuff.

The pay is really good plus a sign-on bonus and even a car. They've got a leasing program for certain level employees and they add in extra to your paycheck to cover the car lease and insurance. All in all, a pretty sweet gig. Who knows, maybe I can get back on learning the Japanese language and moving up in the ranks.

Well, I put in my two week notice to my current company. And as expected, due to my access level, they decided to escort me to the door right then. I was already packed anyway. Sad thing is, I really didn't get the opportunity to say goodbye to anyone and there are several in particular that will be dearly missed.

Well, the winds of change are blowing and a new adventure is beginning. 2007 was an extremely rough year. 2008 seems to be providing a cleaner slate to start with. Wish me luck!

I think I've figured out why it is that I've had such a series of unfortunate events lately. It's because I don't do those Myspace surveys who say you'll have good luck if you repost it within 30 seconds. But honestly, do you really want to know the color of my boxers or what song I last listened to or even which of my top 30 I've slept with?

 Ahh well, I feel really calm today, almost tranquil. It's a feeling of acceptance, really. Whatever happens happens. I'll work hard to changes the things that I can and adjust to those I can't. I guess the Taoist in me is finally taking control. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling defeated by any means. If that were the case, I'd be giving up.

 It helped that I was able to relieve some stress last night playing Halo 3 with Steve, Doc and Arik. You know, there is something to say about shooting midget looking aliens in the head and having them burst with a satisfying *pop* into a cloud of confetti and the sounds of little children screaming "YAY!!!" every time you do it. No matter how many times I see it, it's still funny as hell. Thus causing me to have a giggle fit in my morbid glee. Now that's stress relief.

 All this in the face of my "End of Year Review" tomorrow where it's not just my supervisor and me but the director of HR as well. Now, why would HR be invited yet not invited to everyone's? And how can they not expect me to feel paranoid? You know what? F@ck it. I've done an excellent job for this company the past 4 years I've been here. I really think its time to move on.

 On to where?

 Well, that's the question. I've stated in my previous posts about how barren it is here for my career field and that Missy is having such a hard time finding a job. I must resign to the fact that Nashville has nothing else to offer me career wise and move. Well, I would really like to move to the Northern VA / DC area. This is where most of my friends are and there are a ton of opportunities for me there. Granted most of them require a clearance which does pose a problem. (Not that I wouldn't be able to have a clearance, just have to convince a company that I'm worth the trouble.) On the other hand, Missy wants to move back to So Cal, which is also understandable. All her family is out there. Either way there are ample opportunities for her and I both.

 Right now I can't really afford to move. Plus, I don't want to pull the kids out of school in the middle of the school year. My middle child who is on the cusp of the age limit already went through kindergarten (she was the youngest in the school last year) but it was decided that she wasn't quite mature enough for First Grade so they put her into a pre-first program, which is something I've never heard of. Anyway, again its not that she couldn't handle the material, she excelled at it, it's just a maturity thing. (Personally, I don't think it matters how old she is, she'll still be a drama queen. I really need to get her into acting.) I'd like to see her finish this because if we were to move I doubt this program would be there at our next location.

Well, hopefully I still have a job after tomorrow. Then we'll continue on and try and make preparations for wherever we decide to go. If I don't, well…We'll deal with that too.

 At least we're still healthy!

Okay, so I know I'm not the best at updating my blog. I wish I were better. But having the motivation to do so has been really hard for me lately. Hell, I have an amazing novel in my head but getting it to paper….It could happen! ….maybe…

Let's start out with an update on my father. He had major surgery last week to remove his thyroid. From what the surgeon said, the one thing good about the treatment Vanderbilt gave him was that it was able to tone down the cancer a lot in the neck area. After the surgery, the surgeon was confident in saying, his neck is cancer free, and they didn't even have to remove his voice box.

He's not out of the woods yet. They still have to target the metastasis in his lungs. There is a specific plan now to utilize radioactive iodine (I-131) to try and kill off the metastases. Thyroid tissue and thyroid cancer tissue thrive on iodine. So the plan is to feed the radioactive iodine to the cancer cells. If this works, it should actually kill off the rest of the cancer. I wonder if he'll glow in the dark or maybe he'll get big and green when he's mad. "D.A. MAD!! D.A. smash crime!" Just as long as he doesn't have sad piano music play every time he walks away from me.

And on to other things…

I never knew that getting your masters degree could actually hurt you. For me, I received mine in 2005. I haven't left the company I was with since then and so it really hasn't helped get me promoted. I'll have to leave before I see any effect. So, basically its only done two things for me: bragging rights and more debt.

As for Missy, it's been really rough. Since she got her MBA in Management last fall, she has been working so hard at trying to get foot in the HR door. For almost a year now, she's worked at Toys R' Us as their HR supervisor for very little pay. Its hurt us financially for her to be there. But hey, do whatcha gotta do. Here's the kicker, she has had interview after interview with companies all this year and they all end up being the same. Either she is over qualified for the lower end HR positions or she doesn't have enough experience for the management ones. Its really starting to effect her self esteem. I have faith though. Someone will realize just how good she is and hire her.

There have been other things going on as well and all of this adding together is making my life hell. I am one big ball of stress, wound so tight I could hold some coal in my hand for a couple of minutes and have a diamond. I have hope though. I realize that life at the moment is kind of spiraling out of control, at some point I will level out, although that could be when I hit the ground. Talk about a massive sarcasmic collision there!

So! I must take the bull by the horns! I have decided to go back into the military, well, reserves that is. I am applying for the Coast Guard Select Reserve Direct Commisioning program. I'm going to be an Officer. There are many reasons I've decided to do this. (I'll probably post more on this later.)

Okay, I've rambled enough. I'll try not to wait so long before posting again….maybe….

I thought I might share an update I received from my father:

Hi Guy,
 
Brenda said you wanted me to pass on the update I was preparing for my staff. So here goes:
 
Here is an update on me. We got some good news today, so I thought I'd pass it around. You can pass on to whoever you wish. .

First as to the bad part. I am still suffering significantly from the side effects of the radiation therapy. My throat is still quite sore, and I'm also having quite a bit of difficulty swallowing. Additionally, while some of the "sunburn" effect on the extremeties of my chest has gotten better, it seems that, under my tracheostomy collar, it has gotten worse, if anything. It is dark red, is extremely sore, and has little blisters under there. We went back to the radiology therapy clinic a couple of days ago and had one of the nurses take a look at it. She said it was "looking okay", recommended some things to put on it, and said it was not unusual for it to be it's worst at this point (it's been a little over two weeks since treatment was concluded). I'm also still quite fatigued, with little stamina. But.......... it's getting better. We did discuss these issues with the oncologist and she said they were quite normal and it could take months for all the swelling and such to go down.

Now to the better news. Some time back, at our request, Vanderbilt sent my pathology slides to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York (rated as the number one cancer center in the US) to get their pathology team to look at them. Sloan Kettering had actually called Vanderbilt back and asked for some different kind of slides so they could run some tests on them. We had chemo therapy this morning and just found out from my oncologist that Sloan Kettering's response was that it "just appeared to be papillary thyroid cancer" (bad enough, but papillary is the most common kind of thyroid cancer, and the kind you want to have), and that it "did not appear to be particularly high risk"! My oncologist did go on to add the caveat, though, "But it's metastatic". (Meaning it has spread).

Brenda's eyes got pretty wide at all that and she inquired of the Doc if this changed the outlook at all, or what the outlook was. Dr. Murphy said that when I first came to her after surgery, I was very sick, I looked sick, and I acted sick, and she was not very optimistic. She felt that it was imperative to get me into treatment immediately. So that's what she did.

She said, however, that since that time I have made dramatic improvement. I look better, act better, and she has been impressed. She feels the chemo treatments are working and that things are now stabilized. She seems to think the cancer is now stabilized and we can start thinking toward the long term. She wants to get me into physical therapy, to start building up my lung capacity, and chest movement as soon as my throat has healed sufficiently. This is all certainly good news, but we won't know for sure until we have another CT scan done, which is currently scheduled for July.

Brenda cried after hearing that news!

We are now scheduled to go to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston (rated the number two cancer center in the country) the last week in June. We have an appointment with a Dr. Steven Sherman, who is the medical director of the endocrinology oncology department, and who specializes in thyroid cancer, and has a special research interest in "novel therapies in thyroid cancer". Our Vanderbilt oncologist said she is onboard with this and will call down there and talk to Dr. Sherman when we are ready to go down.

As always, we appreciate the love, the concern and the prayers of our many friends. Keep praying! It's working!

Please feel free to pass it on.
 
 
I hope things are going well with you guys. Looking forward to seeing you.
 
Me

Told ya he was a fighter.  Keep up with the positive energies, its working!

Yay! After a lot of work, the first episode is done. Thanks Steve for the great video editing.

The concept is that if you throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, the frog is going to say "Holy shit that's hot!" and jump out. Makes sense right? Well, that same frog, if you place it in cool or lukewarm water and slowly heat the water to a boil, the frog will remain complacent not noticing the subtle changes until he's boiled to death.

The same concept applies to business, in fact they teach it in business school. Offer your employees a calm relaxed environment with good benefits and such, then you can slowly make changes the subtly screw them and they won't notice, or even if they do its not enough to really do anything about. If you make drastic changes, your people will jump ship.

Well the water is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. The question is, how uncomfortable do I need to be before I jump ship? Miss feels that I'm ready to move on. I've been with this company going on four years now. From my perspective, I don't think I will have the opportunity to advance any further. I have a master's degree that's not being utilized.

One of the main problem's I'm having is that the group I work with is one of the best I ever have. We just click extremely well. Each of us in Security have our own specialty and we each know enough of the other's job to back each other up. There is no real bickering among us, no drama, no backstabbing and we always have each other's backs. It would be really hard to find this in another group.

Thus the dilemma…What should my next step be? I know I need to move on. I'm just unsure if I'm ready yet. But I don't want to get boiled in the process.