Podcast: Big Phil's Love Parade
Dates: December 28, February 8, 15, March 22, 29, April 5, 19, May 4, 2009
Titles: It Was A Very Good Year, Big Johnny Wadd's Smackdown, The Music Show No. 12, The Vast Wasteland, The Music Show No. 13, Betty And Cissie Are My Favorite GGG Girls, Rightwinger Tea Tastes Bitter, Twitter This!
Download the show: Show 166, Show 172, Show 173, Show 178, Show 179, Show 180, Show 182, Show 184
Big Phil's dieting. Identity in question, he's not sure whether he's really Big Phil, Bizarro Phil, Bald Phil (He confesses he's also stopped shaving his head!) or James Brown, the Godfather of Soul.
Which Phil is he today? "The Bizarro Phil, not...the Phil...Big Phil!" he replies triumphantly after some hesitation. Sigh.
Madison Avenue is shaken. Analysts suggest the U.S. $1B Big Phil brand could be up for grabs. Meanwhile, Phil Thompson, host of the popular podcast Big Phil's Love Parade, continues to try on new hats, seeking the best fit for his smooth dome.
Bizarro Phil -- A history
The first fissure appeared during the fall presidential campaign, when the Love Parade introduced a provocative new character named Bizarro Phil.
And just who is Bizarro Phil? He's a contrarian, Big Phil's doppelganger, the voice inside his head, the id to Big Phil's ego.
As the progressive-minded Big Phil launched weekly tirades against Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and other right-wing politicos, Bizarro Phil emphatically denounced purple asses and the Democratic Party.
Bizarro Phil was a disruptive force, undermining Big Phil's authority with the 6,000-plus fans who download the Love Parade podcast each and every month.
For instance, Big Phil took yet another week off -- I mean, presented one of his "famous" music shows -- and Bizarro Phil hosted a music show of his own, revealing that he was "whackin' off right now."
Also Sprach Bizarro Phil
When Barack Obama won the election, Big Phil proudly waved the flag with his own patriotic music mash-up, dubbing inspirational Obama speech snippets ("Yes we can!" blah blah blah) over the rousing Richard Strauss composition Also Sprach Zarathustra.
Bizarro Phil's ironic response? A kazoo orchestra interpretation of the same song, with Bizarro Phil asking the musical question, "I am so gay. How gay?"
Finally, a desperate Big Phil introduced a tip jar to his site and invited listeners to contribute. Only, Big Phil insisted, he would never "beg for money."
Bizarro Phil entertains no such compunction. "I am begging for money, to pay for my abortion," Bizarro Phil declared in a voice mail to Big Phil's hotline.
"Ken is always trying to make me say I'm gay!" Big Phil protests, somehow confusing me with his anarchistic nemesis. But "I myself am not gay," he reassures his audience.
Speak up for cheesy porn music
My interest in the outcome is simple. I've invested heavily in Big Phil and I'd like to see the enterprise continue to prosper. The Search Engine Optimization geniuses now squeezing the life out of Twitter will understand when I explain that Big Phil sends many suckers, I mean visitors, to my own site, where they read the blog, type Jesus Killer in the comment box and depart.
As an example, thanks to Big Phil, my site is No. 3 on Google for the phrase cheesy porn music.
That's how I described Big Phil's closing theme, brother Clay Thompson's Smooth Talker, which I informally retitled Big Johnny Wadd's Smackdown.
And you know what? Cheesy porn music is very popular on Google, along with ass itches and other disreputable phrases that drive traffic my way.
Anyway, if Big Phil cracks up, insiders whisper that network execs are prepared to offer Bizarro Phil a generous package to take over the coveted Sunday night slot. Gotta have a backup plan!
On recent shows, Phil played my songs My Fat Ass Itches, People I Know, True Love, and They Found Me Dead, the latter two performed live at Bill's Records in Dallas.
Big Phil vs. Bizarro Phil
Big Phil's favorite moments (4:47).
Also Sprach Bizarro Phil (1:36).
Big Phil is not gay (2:41).
Bizarro Phil begs for money (0:48).
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