We heard about the Dipsea Trail in Mill Valley, CA. Actually, when I say “we”, I mean LZ. She heard about the Dipsea, that it was a little over 7 miles, and thought we should run it. We’re both training for a ½ marathon in October, so we thought…Why Not?

We really had no idea what we were in for, but thought it would be, somehow, something we could handle.

When you have to climb 699 steps just to get to the trail…Houston, We Have a Problem…

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First of all, the “locals” all love to talk about the 699 steps. There’s no one who DOESN’T know about the 699 steps. OK. We get it. But after that, it must be a typical trail, right? Well……

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10+ miles later, all up-hill (and by up-hill, I mean risking-your-life-up-a-mountain) we were EXHAUSTED!!! Ten miles, people!!! All AFTER 699 stairs…(yea, I know. Now I can’t stop saying the number either)…it was a lot!

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So, we found out what we were made of. Turns out, it was more than we thought. We ended up laughing, gasping, feeling like we were dying, trying to figure out each-other’s problems as we climbed the mountain, and, by the time we were at the top, we realized a valuable lesson…we hadn’t figured out ANY of each other’s problems, but felt such a sense of pride that we had gotten that far, that any problem we’d left at the bottom of the mountain was totally something we could handle…and the view along the way was awesome.

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I find myself doing things in my life now that I never could have imagined doing even three years ago. I’ve produced my own holiday EP, gone to Japan for almost 3 weeks ALONE, put on big shows, played on national TV, toured across our great country doing solo gigs, and learned how to work and run my own sound system. I’m learning how to play the guitar and how to speak Japanese. Who knows what new and fascinating mysteries and adventures are ahead of me.

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But I do know that I don’t need to climb a mountain to see all of the little mountains I’ve already climbed. We are all capable of doing so much in our lives, and we’re stronger than we even know. I hope you’ll think about the things that you’d like to accomplish in your life and start to take the first (of 699) step to making it happen. I wouldn’t have wanted to tackle the Dipsea without my best friend. And I hope you’ve got people in your life that will bring out the best in you, too.

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Now, I’m going to hobble my weak and sore body back to bed before getting on a plane to come home…really glad I don’t have any mountains to climb today!

I’m just waking up. Got to bed around 4 this morning. It wasn’t the wild, rock ‘n roll, kind of night that you’d guess. Instead, it was old and new friends, gathered in the back booth of a diner, telling our stories over plates of eggs, hash browns and quesadillas. I didn’t get enough sleep, that’s for sure. But I still feel like I’m buzzing from last night’s music and conversation.

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So many times, when I perform, I try to come up with the “right” set list, play the songs the “right” way, do everything as “right” as I can. But, last night, I just let go and played. I played the songs like I was still so inside of them. I let go of trying to do the “right” thing, and, instead, just felt my way through.

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It has a lot to do with Heather Combs. I sat in the audience on Thursday night and listened to her stories, to her songs, and was moved. So much of the time, when you’re on the road, you hear a lot of music that you’d rather not hear, songs that don’t move you. And then, in those really rare moments, you’ll hear something that will stop you dead in your tracks. And they take you on a journey. That’s how I felt.

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She came to my gig last night and played a few songs with me, and I asked her to do some of her own. And I had conflicting emotions in that moment. Part of me wished that I could just sit there all night and just listen and feel. Part of me wanted to get to my keyboard and play because I felt so inspired. It’s a beautiful conflict.

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So, as I’m wiping the sleep from my eyes, and getting ready to go to San Rafael to play another show, I’m going to take this feeling with me…and feel grateful for the things and people that remind me how good it feels to simply feel…

Laurie’s the best. She got up earlier and went in search of a Starbuck’s (god love her!) because the coffee at this hotel is the worst sludge I’ve ever had!

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So far, the tour has been great. It’s kind of felt like a tour/vacation. We got here late on Tuesday night, so that I could do an early radio performance on Wednesday. Getting up that morning was rough, but we pulled it together and I ended up doing 3 songs on the radio, so it was worth it.

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After the radio gig, though, there was nothing else on the books that day, so we made the best of it…we played tennis for a couple hours, ran up the side of a mountain, and then hit the pool. It could be a lot worse……J And after an early dinner and a drive down the coast, we crashed.

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Yesterday was more of a perfect scenario for me. I feel lucky if you can get the best of both worlds, and we did. We played more tennis, did the run again, laid by the pool for an hour, and then got ready and head out to the gig to play with Heather Combs. Now THAT makes for a perfect day.

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I met Heather six years ago. We did a gig together in San Francisco. I never forgot her. She has this really strong voice, great presence and songs that rip right through you. She’s a great artist. So, when I found out I was coming back, we reached out to her to see if she’d like to do a show again. She said yes, and, last night was that night.

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It was fun to catch up with her, see what the years have brought to both of us, but hearing her play was my favorite. She’s got a way with words in her songs that makes me want to rush home and write, too. I feel so inspired after listening to her.

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I’m playing in San Francisco tonight, and there’s a good chance she’ll make an appearance. My fingers are crossed!

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Now, I’m gonna go fall in love with this venti skim latte that’s calling my name……life’s good

I’m on the plane, headed to San Francisco. We left at 9:30PM and it’s getting later by the minute, within my body, while it’s getting earlier with every minute that we approach our destination. I’ve traveled all over the world, through many different time zones. Sometimes it messes with your head, other times, it doesn’t. Tonight, for some reason, I feel very thoughtful. If I could go back in time, what would I do differently?

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My first response is…many, many things. I would change so much. I don’t think you get to live too long on this planet without wishing you could go back…do things another way, choose another path.

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But…

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My own reaction to that is…who would I be? If I could un-do the mistakes I’ve made, what would I be like? Without the aches, the bruises, the pain that I’ve been responsible for-both myself and others… What would I know?  I’m not sure.

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I don’t think you get the gift of life without cringing at certain flashbacks…choices you’ve made. I know some people don’t believe in regret. They don’t believe that we should look back and do anything but witness our own actions as stepping stones to the next action...constantly evolving and growing. I like that. I like the idea of awareness, of giving ourselves some room to make mistakes, to embrace our humanity, and our weaknesses, and move forward.

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But...i also believe that we make mistakes. And those mistakes, those choices, they have outcomes. They have consequences. And we are supposed to feel that. It’s how we learn not to make those mistakes again. And also how learn that we do not know everything, we are not everything and will never be flawless…Humility. There’s something “fair” about that.

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Some of the things that I look back at…many of them, actually…things I’d call mistakes…have not just been about teaching me about isolated incidents that I don’t want to repeat. They’ve also revealed things that I hadn’t known about myself. It’s not just the action, but it’s the thing that drives us to that action…that’s where a lot of the important lessons I’ve learned come from. Those painful moments not only require me to ask…why did I do that specific thing, but, also, what led me to the place in my life that I could make those choices?

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Maybe it all sounds like mumbo-jumbo to you…too much Oprah, or something. But, I don’t like making mistakes. I don’t like being wrong. And I do. And I am. So, I have to dig deeper into it. That’s what I do…

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So, if I could get on a plane and go back in time right now…if I could get a do-over, would I take that flight? I guess I’m still not sure…

I’m getting picked up in about an hour, so I thought I’d catch everybody up before I leave. That way, when I write from the road, I won’t have to re-cap.

So…let’s get to it….

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The Varsity

Hmmm….i have to say, that was an interesting experience behind the scenes. But, as far as the show itself…

as usual, I love, love, love that venue. It’s so vibey. We usually do the holiday shows there, but decided to do a non-christmas show there, too.

After doing the CD release concert at the Guthrie in February, I decided that I had two options: try to out-do it, or scale it down…I chose to make it simpler.

So, it was me, JB on bass, Matt on drums, Dirk on guitar and Kathleen singing back up.

(When we go back to the Varsity on December 3^rd, it’ll be the whole band PLUS all three backup singers, so not to fear!!!)

It was the first week that kids were back to school, and I just had no way of knowing whether or not people would show up, but, as usual, my fans are the best! It was packed and the ambience was loving and warm and it just felt like everyone was ready to hear some good music!

We had a lot of laughs and some poignant moments, too. I never get tired of playing here in Minneapolis. It’s like being home, but still wanting to impress, y’know?

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Behind the scenes, though, it felt like we were all dealing with our own “situations”. Sometimes you get lucky and everyone is in a good place in their lives at the same time. Other times…it’s not quite that easy.

But, after playing music with these guys for as long as I have, I knew we’d pull it together and give it all we had. I’m so grateful for my band. I missed Tommy, but am so glad he’ll be there in December.

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I kind of feel like my band is a tiny sub-family. We go through things. Sometimes we see each other a lot, other times we don’t. But, I couldn’t imagine having to play with other people. I don’t want to. I love Dirk’s dry sense of humor, and the way he’s the master of his instrument. JB defines that smooth, just-get-into-it, presence, not to mention being a wicked bass player. And Matt…well, Matt is one of the funniest, and to-the-core-good human beings that you’ll ever meet. He works hard, makes you laugh harder, and looks like a bad-ass when he plays the drums. Even though Tommy wasn’t there, there’s not a flavor that he can’t find to add such a sweetness to whatever song he’s working on. I’m a lucky girl to share the stage with these guys.

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Now, I’m heading out on a solo tour (with my manager/”bestie”, Laurie) to California. I’m excited. I feel like I need a brief break from life here in MN, and there are worse places you could go than Cali! Sun Country Airlines is flying us there and back and working it out so I can actually bring my keyboard, so I am a VERY happy girl. I’m also bringing my guitar for the first time. I won’t be playing it at any of these shows, but I’m getting closer to that moment. I don’t want to take a week off practicing, so I’ll be the girl lugging my suitcase, keyboard, and guitar around for the next 7 days!

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Hope you guys have a great week, and I’ll try to keep the journal updated while I’m gone……see you soon!

I’m watching TV, and there’s a headline running along the bottom of the screen…DJ AM found dead in his apartment. Drug paraphernalia was found in his place.

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I had a girls’ vacation earlier this summer. When I got off the plane, I had emails about Michael Jackson being dead. Drugs were suspected…

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Heath Ledger. An odd combination of drugs…

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Anna Nicole. Drugs…

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On and on and on….

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It’s crazy, you know?

I grew up in Detroit. I thought this kind of thing only happened in the kind of neighborhoods that I knew. Now it’s an increasingly “normal” occurrence…made it into the mainstream…huh.

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A kid I went to high school with got shot and crawled his way back home before bleeding to death on the street.

Another kid I went to church with got shot and killed for something stupid and unnecessary…certainly not worth his life.

Two kids I know from “back in the day” went to prison…for what?  The heat of the moment? The environment they grew up in? The pressure?

I get that to an extent.

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But, it makes me nervous to think that part of Hollywood is starting to resemble the streets. It’s funny how some people might think that it’s the hip hop artists who are living this kind of lifestyle. But that’s not really the case.

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Maybe I should just shut my mouth and ignore what’s happening. But, it seems crazy to me. I know why some people get into that kind of lifestyle…but it’s hard to wrap my mind around people who have “choices”.

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I think about one of my best friends in school. Her mom’s house wasn’t heated enough in the winter, so we’d jump into her tiny bed, pile blankets on and stay as close as possible to stay warm. But we had some of the BEST conversations on those nights. We were thick as thieves. Would we have preferred to be warmer and more comfortable? I’m sure we would have. But that wasn’t an option.

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What’s going on when the “mainstream” is adopting a type of lifestyle that they don’t HAVE to? You do what you think you have to when your options are so limited. But… when you’re watching TV and another “star” is gone because of this shit? Why?

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Tonight I feel so sad because this doesn’t have to be the case. And yet…another spirit, another life…wasted. Gone for no good reason.

I want these moments to be more few and far between. I really do.