by Jill Crosby - 

“Spiritual Dating” or “Conscious Dating” is an enlightened way of meeting and dating. There are no rules or expectations, and it’s about being true to oneself and staying in the flow. Conscious dating is more fun than the traditional style of dating, and it yields much better results! As we raise our vibrational frequencies and approach fifth dimensional living, it’s more and more important to practice Spiritual Dating with respect to meeting a life partner as our thoughts and feelings are manifesting extremely fast!

The 6 Keys to Spiritual Dating:

#1 REMEMBERING OUR DIVINITY: Realize that every person is a DIVINE ASPECT and before incarnating, we agreed to forget our Divinity. We chose to be here on Earth for this incredible time in history, so be joyful and grateful for ‘waking up’ and being part of this planetary ascension! Loving ourselves unconditionally and letting ourselves express this tremendous JOY that is our Divine Essence is the basis of Spiritual Dating. Allow this love of self and joy to radiate outward and attract the same. It’s much healthier and fulfilling when two souls come together in joy and bliss rather than in desperation and loneliness!

#2 BEING PRESENT and OPEN: When we are truly PRESENT in the moment, we are OPEN to meeting the love of our life because we are paying attention. Enjoy each encounter, whether or not that person is a potential mate. When standing in line at the grocery store, book store, post office… (anywhere!), pass up reading the magazines or thinking about what you are going to make for dinner. Instead, be receptive and conscious of who might be coming into your space. ENJOY the moment you are experiencing NOW! Be bold and say hi to people, initiate conversations and SMILE!

#3 BEING REALISTIC: Chemistry comes in all shapes and sizes. Realize that our “types” have most likely been created by mass media programming and therefore the collective consciousness. Break free of this illusion, the matrix, if you will, and feel someone’s SOUL, their “beingness”, their heart. Our life partner may not look like the “type” we have been conditioned to see as attractive. They may be taller, shorter, thinner, or thicker, so let go of the attachment to how someone appears and look deeper. As we thoroughly enjoy and experience every person we encounter, we can appreciate their uniqueness and see their Divinity. Listening to our guidance and knowing that we may be drawn to someone because they are our life partner, or maybe for another reason, perhaps they have some important insight or information for us.

#4 BEING REAL: Being real means letting one’s guard down and getting out of ego; being oneself without trying to empress or show off. When in a relationship, true selves and personalities are eventually revealed and observed by our partner, so it’s more efficient to be genuine from day one. By expressing our true selves, we send out that energy to the quantum field and magnetize a partner that is also being REAL!

#5 LISTENING: When on a date, practice active LISTENING. Instead of planning out what we are going to say next, or worrying about how we look, active listening involves being present and focused on the other person while they are speaking. With an open heart, listen and feel what the other person is saying. Be there for them 100%. When talking, speak from the heart, and allow the conversation to flow naturally. Allow time for silence and just being together. Remember to breathe and relax.

#6 STAYING IN THE FLOW: Getting out of our head and following our heart, our feelings and the current energy is the essence of staying in the flow. When we are tapped into our Divinity, we know what to do, where to go, who to talk with etc... When in the flow, there is no ‘thinking things through’ for hours, days or weeks….it just happens. It’s part of being present and open. Being open to whatever is in our highest and best for each moment and trusting that we are being perfectly guided by our higher selves (that part of us that always remembers its Divine connection), is the key to staying in the flow. Letting go of expectations and preconceived ideas about what something “should” look like, or how something “should” be is essential.

Spiritually dating creates a fun, enriching experience to be savored and thoroughly enjoyed. When these six keys are put into practice, results happen quickly, and it’s possible to be experiencing a blissful, devoted, loving relationship in no time, so ENJOY the process!

spiritualsingles.com



Lightworkers

by Dr. Scott & Shannon Peck -

Love Awakening is sneaking up on all of us.  We are each being called to higher love ground – and it’s happening more and more rapidly. Do you feel it?  We do. We feel our lives opening to vast new dimensions of awareness and possibilities. Let’s explore together, right now, what love awakening includes – for all of us.

Strange as it may seem, the starting point for love awakening begins with loving yourself. Most people don’t. Do you? Loving yourself means seeing yourself as an unfolding masterpiece rather than a failure. Loving yourself means giving yourself inner love talk rather than inner criticism. Loving yourself means setting boundaries that protect your well-being rather than letting others misuse you. Loving yourself means giving yourself solitude to become quiet and reflect rather than moving through a million tasks without taking a breath. Loving yourself means taking time to let your heart and actions be in alignment with universal Love rather than struggling alone to find answers. How awake are you to loving yourself this well?

As your love grows from loving yourself, you become more naturally effective in loving others. You learn how to create intimacy by asking love questions, such as “What’s the most significant thing going on in your life?” Or even more intimately, “What’s going on in your heart?” You become comfortable speaking from the heart, listening without interrupting, saying, “Tell me more,” and reflecting back what you heard so they know you actually listened. This is what it means to be a love master – an expert at creating love with others.

And it’s so very easy. Here’s an example of how simple but amazing love questions can be in creating intimacy, even with strangers.

All this love radiating creates maximum opportunity for you to meet and enjoy other soul mates and to also meet the love mate you deserve – regardless of your age. Why? Because you are coming to this relationship as complete through loving yourself. And you are also bringing to that relationship the immense amount of love skills that you have been practicing as a love master. Why wait to practice the fullness of your love? Radiating this higher level of love can attract the same quality of love to you in the form of the right love mate. Your practice of loving all others will also create, within you, the capacity to sustain peace and joy with your right love mate when this unfolds.

Experiencing the love you deserve is a beautiful outcome of love awakening. It may seem impossible to you, but as you love yourself well and learn how to love others well, your life will radiate an irresistible radiance that creates waves of new love opportunities in your life.

And even though finding the love mate of your dreams would seem to be the ultimate fulfillment in life (and it is immensely fulfilling), one of the extraordinary outcomes of loving yourself, loving others as a love master, and experiencing the love you deserve is that your heart opens even wider.

With all this love supporting you, your heart can reach out to a world crying for your attention, compassion, and help. You become more tuned in to the suffering in the world, the wars, the injustices, the abuse, the emotional struggles, and so many hearts in need. You realize, that, because of the high level of love that you have anchored within your own life, you are now able to respond to the larger world.

Your energy is not tangled in hating yourself, avoiding others, and feeling desperate for love. You have awakened to the wisdom of cherishing yourself, loving others magnificently, and meeting your love mate at this high level of love awakening. You finally have the open heart and skills and wisdom to help the larger world around you. You begin to find your higher Soul post – the work that calls you into highest service to those around you.

And as your love expands, still maintaining the grounding in love alignment, loving yourself, treating others around you as a love master, and enjoying the deep bond of the love you deserve, your heart begins to also sense the Earth’s great need for your love. In many ways, most of us are too busy trying to love ourselves or meet a love mate, or trying to succeed in our occupation to really give the Earth the care and attention that she needs, even though we have many warning signs – global warming, disappearing rain forests, and massive toxins spilling into her body.

So, in our expanding love awakening, our hearts start tuning in at a wider level of engagement. But the love awakening doesn’t even stop there. As we stand on the Earth and look up and outwards, there is an infinite universe in which the Earth is a tiny sphere – and we are just at the infant stages of exploring this universe. We don’t even know what awaits us in this infinite unknown, but our love expands to embrace the larger universe of our lives.

We may eventually – or soon – encounter other beings beyond Earth and we are going to need the love skills and a big enough heart to accept wide diversity. We will need to be experts at creating dialogue and intimacy. We will need to be masters at creating peace instead of war, and unity instead of separation.

This is the expansive potential of love awakening ahead in our lives – and it’s infinite. But that is the nature of love – and the essence of rich, overflowing possibility within each of us. Welcome to the heart of love.

thelovecenter.com

Lightworkers

by Neva J Howell -

Relationship Struggles in the Acceleration Process - It is an interesting phenomenon in spiritual acceleration.... when we shift consciousness, it affects everything and everyone around us. Since spiritual awakening can sometimes be a sudden shift in consciousness and perspective, we may not understand how completely and irrevocably the old paradigm is gone nor how that fact may change our closest relationships.

In fact, we often do not realize just how comfortable we have become with existing belief systems, until those belief systems can no longer be sustained. Depending on the level of the consciousness shift, it can feel like learning to think and feel again.

Spiritual Shifts Don't Just Affect You - At first, after a paradigm shift or energetic acceleration experience, it may just feel as if we have changed in some way but the world around us is still the same.

Then, we look around us and see that everyone close to us is reacting differently. Sometimes this change is positive but many times, it is perceived as painful, some kind of loss, or chaotic.

Why do those we love the most resist what is for our highest spiritual good? Wouldn't those who love us most want this for us? Why would our spiritual acceleration throw loved ones into fear, resistance and personality challenge?

One reason we meet resistance when we break away from longterm or lifelong patterns of interaction with those closest to us is that this change can be construed as destructive to the family member it affects. It can feel as if the relationship is breaking apart. Our shift changes everything and takes everyone outside their comfort zone, sometimes in a pretty drastic way. We may be changing but those we love may want to stay the same and they can only stay the same if we do not change.

Changing Relationships as Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening - Whenever we make the decision to clear our negative thinking, behaviors and beliefs, to release our limiting thought paradigms and to embrace more Universal Truth, that decision shifts everyone around us.

When we decide to let go of unhealthy habits, fears and ego distractions, it can set in motion a ripple effect across every aspect of our life because those with whom we have partnered in fear, unhealthy habits and ego distractions are losing a partner.

It may surprise us, at that point, to find that our immediate circle of friends begins to change. If those around us resist spiritual acceleration in their own lives, then our spiritual advancement becomes a threat to their desired reality. Those who don't wish to advance may suddenly resent or dislike us. Those who vibrate at a slower vibrational frequency than the one from which we have just shifted, may seem draining to us and not desirable to be around anymore.

Most likely, there will be those of our spiritual circle who want us back the way we were, so they can interact with us the same habitual, familiar and comfortable ways. There may even be unconcious sabotage, designed to help us question our new consciousness and drop back into the old patterns with them.

Flux and Flow - If we are fully committed to spiritual awakening, we will not allow this and will take action to end relationships that do not grow with us. The more compassionately we can end them, the better we become at letting the flux and flow of people around us be ok.

Relationship shifts and changes are a normal part of the spiritual acceleration process. We can learn to allow these changes to occur in a loving way by remembering that each soul is a sovereign master, perfectly capable of fulfilling their own unique destiny, with or without us.

Honoring Others Sovereignty - Sometimes, our vibration will be welcomed and we will be joined in breaking free of old patterns and behaviors. However, if this does not occur and we have those in our lives who choose to remain at slower vibrational frequency, we can honor that and trust that they will begin to be drawn to others of their own level. We are not really leaving anyone behind as much as we are honoring the sovereignty of each soul to choose their own rate of acceleration. As those of slower, more dense vibration begin to clear from our field, there will be new opportunities for connection revealed, evidenced by different kinds of people being attracted to us.

As we begin to meet these potential friends, some of which will seem to be vibrating at a slightly higher vibrational frequency than us, it is important to be alert to any suggestions from our logical mind that we have nothing in common with them. This is an illusion based on the past.

Sometimes, we fail to recognize that we really have moved beyond an old structure of relating.  During these transitional relationship times, trust that higher vibration beings would not be coming to you, unless there was a similarity of frequency to attract them. Decide now to welcome new experiences with others, as part of your acceleration experience.

source - askahealer.com





Lightworkers

CONDITIONING - Your preferences, opinions, judgments, beliefs, and reactions to others are all part of your conditioning. As such, you are responsible for them in the sense that no one else caused them, although others do trigger them. However, you didn't ask for that conditioning. For the most part, it was just given to you. You could say you inherited it—from your family, experiences, culture, previous lifetimes, and astrology chart. It's your particular programming for this lifetime, and it is no better or worse than anyone else's conditioning, which they also inherited.

The problem is we assume that our conditioning is right and other people's (when it is different) is wrong. This unconscious assumption is what causes problems in relationships, not the conditioning itself. If we can allow others to be different from us, then conditioning doesn't have to be a problem. But we tend to judge others who do and see things differently than we do and try to change them. Our conditioning is bound to be different from someone else's—we're designed that way. So having different conditioning (i.e. beliefs, preferences, opinions, styles, ways of being) doesn't have to be a problem unless we make it one.

We tend to hold our conditioning as inviolate: We want what we want, we like what we like, we don't like what we don't like, and we believe what we believe. Our conditioning feels important, meaningful, and worth fighting for. That's where we get into trouble. Conditioning is just beliefs, preferences, and desires (which are just the thought "I want" with feelings attached to it). Conditioning belongs to the ego, not to the divine Self. While the ego will fight with others over what it believes, likes, and wants, the Self chooses love over beliefs, preferences, and desires. If you want relationships to work, that's what you have to do as well. If even just one person in a relationship is willing to choose love over what he or she believes, prefers, or desires, a loving relationship is possible. If not, then the relationship will be a battleground over conditioning.

When your conditioning gets triggered in relationship, it's an opportunity to discover more about it. Feelings are a sign that your conditioning has been triggered: You feel angry or sad or some other negative emotion in relation to the other person. When that happens, the tendency is to say "You make me angry when…" or "You make me sad when…." We think this is good mental hygiene to let others know how they are affecting us. We were taught to do this, but this isn't actually helpful. It puts the burden of change on the other person, when it really lies with us.

If you feel angry or sad over something someone said or did, then that's a sign that you have conditioning that is interfering with love. When this happens, there is a choice to be made between your conditioning or love: Is your conditioning more important than love, or is love more important than your conditioning? Most people fight for their conditioning because it feels like their conditioning is who they are: "I am someone who believes…" or "I am someone who likes…." Their identity is tied to their conditioning, and without it, it feels like they wouldn't be who they are. And they wouldn't: They wouldn't be who they think they are; they would be who they really are—the divine Self.

Most people also deeply believe they can change others and that it's their duty to do so because they believe their conditioning is superior. They choose fixing others (according to their ideas) over loving them. This choice leads to misery in relationships. No one wins the battle of conditioning. Everyone loses love. Even if you get the other person to change, at what expense is this accomplished? And at what point do you finally give up trying to mold the other person to your conditioning? The ego is never satisfied, and it always finds more improvements to push for in relationship, as in every other aspect of life.

Relationships are meant to be a safe haven in the storm of life. They are our best chance for finding love and acceptance. They also serve as a laboratory for love: They are where we learn about love. What we learn is that only the Self knows how to love, not the ego. To create that safe haven, you have to set aside the ego and drop into alignment with the divine Self, where love is possible. Our desire for love and relationship motivates us to overcome our conditioning and move into alignment with the Self because that is the only way it is possible to feel love and maintain it. We learn this by first trying to get our way in relationships and then finally surrendering to love. This is the secret of many couples who stay together for decades: They accept each other and allow them to be the way they are.

You might argue that acceptance enables your partner to continue his or her bad habits, when who could help him or her better than you? What is true in the realm of personal healing is also true in interpersonal healing: Acceptance is what heals. That is the Self's way. It is not the ego's, but the ego isn't trying to help others as much as it is trying to get its way. If you really want to help someone, then accept that person and just see what miracles love and acceptance can perform.

Your job in relationships is not to change others but to release any ideas that keep you from being loving and accepting. To do this, notice when feelings are triggered, and then give curiosity, acceptance, and attention to those feelings until you discover what beliefs are behind them. Then, examine how true each of those beliefs are. You will find that none of your beliefs are true, at least not true enough to warrant withholding love from another. All of your beliefs are just conditioning.

from 'Getting Free: How to Move Beyond Conditioning and Be Happy'


source - radicalhappiness.com





Lightworkers

   Controlling Our Responses   

by Simply Tina

Can you recall the last time you had to deal with a negative or difficult person? Or the last time someone said something with the intention of hurting you? How did you handle it? What was the result? What can you do in the future to get through these situations with peace and grace?

No matter where we go, we will face people who are negative, people who oppose our ideas, people who piss us off or people who simply do not like us. There are 6.4 billion people out there and conflict is a fact of life. This fact isn't the cause of conflict but it is the trigger to our emotions and our emotions are what drive us back to our most basic survival instinct; react and attack back to defend ourselves.



In these instinctual moments, we may lose track of our higher selves and become the human animal with an urge to protect ourselves when attacked. This too is natural. However, we are the only animal blessed with intelligence and having the ability to control our responses. So how can we do that?

I regularly get asked "How do you deal with the negative comments about your articles? They are brutal. I don't think I could handle them." My answer is simple, "I don't let it bother me to begin with." It wasn't always this simple, and took me some time before overcoming this natural urgency to protect myself and attack back. I know it's not easy, if it was easy, there wouldn't be difficult or negative people to begin with.

 Why Bother Controlling Our Responses? 

*Hurting Ourselves - One of my favorite sayings is "Holding a grudge against someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." The only person we hurt is ourselves. When we react to negativity, we are disturbing our inner space and mentally creating pain within ourselves.


*It's Not About You, It's About Them - I've learned that when people initiate negativity, it is a reflection of their inner state expressed externally and you just happen to be in front of that expression. It's not personal, so why do we take it personally? In short: Because our ego likes problems and conflict. People are often so bored and unhappy with their own lives that they want to take others down with them. There have been many times when a random person has left a purposefully hurtful comment on TSN, and regularly checked back to see if anyone else responded to their comment, waiting eagerly to respond with more negativity.



*Battle of the Ego - When we respond impulsively, it is a natural and honest response. However, is it the smart thing to do? What can be resolved by doing so? The answer: Nothing. It does however feed our ego's need for conflict. Have you noticed that when we fight back, it feels really satisfying in our heads? But it doesn't feel very good in our soul? Our stomach becomes tight, and we start having violent thoughts? When we do respond irrationally, it turns the conversation from a one-sided negative expression into a battle of two egos. It becomes an unnecessary and unproductive battle for Who is Right?

*Anger Feeds Anger. Negativity Feeds Negativity. - Rarely can any good come out of reacting against someone who is in a negative state. It will only trigger anger and an additional reactive response from that person. If we do respond impulsively, we'll have invested energy in the defending of ourselves and we'll feel more psychologically compelled to defend ourselves going forward. Have you noticed that the angrier our thoughts become, the angrier we become? It's a negative downward spiral.


*Waste of Energy - Where attention goes, energy flows. What we focus on tends to expand itself. Since we can only focus on one thing at a time, energy spent on negativity is energy that could have been spent on our personal wellbeing.


*Negativity Spreads - I've found that once I allow negativity in one area of my life, it starts to subtly bleed into other areas as well. When we are in a negative state or holding a grudge against someone, we don't feel very good. We carry that energy with us as we go about our day. When we don't feel very good, we lose sight of clarity and may react unconsciously to matters in other areas of our lives, unnecessarily.


*Freedom of Speech - People are as entitled to their opinions as you are. Allow them to express how they feel and let it be. Remember that it's all relative and a matter of perspective. What we consider positive can be perceived by another as negative. When we react, it becomes me-versus-you, who is right? Some people may have a less than eloquent way of expressing themselves - it may even be offensive, but they are still entitled to do so. They have the right to express their own opinions and we have the right and will power to choose our responses. We can choose peace or we can choose conflict.

source - thinksimplynow.com






LoVe*addict

For love to flourish, the light of your presence needs to be strong enough so that you no longer get taken over by the thinker or the pain-body and mistake them for who you are. To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.


If you stop investing it with "selfness," the mind loses its compulsive quality, which basically is the compulsion to judge, and so to resist what is, which creates conflict, drama and new pain. In fact, the moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind. You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.


First you stop judging yourself; then you stop judging your partner. The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way. That immediately takes you beyond ego. All mind games and all addictive clinging are then over.


There are no victims and no perpetrators anymore, no accuser and accused. This is also the end of all co-dependency, of being drawn into somebody else's unconscious pattern and thereby enabling it to continue. You will then either separate – in love – or move ever more deeply into the Now together into Being. Can it be that simple? Yes, it is that simple.


Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form. In the stillness of your presence, you can feel your own formless and timeless reality as the unmanifested life that animates your physical form. You can then feel the same life deep within every other human and every other creature. You look beyond the veil of form and separation. This is the realization of oneness. This is love.


What is God? The eternal One Life underneath all the forms of life. What is love? To feel the presence of that One Life deep within yourself and within all creatures. To be it. Therefore, all love is the love of God.


Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. It does not make one person special. It is not exclusive. Exclusivity is not the love of God but the "love" of ego. However, the intensity with which true love is felt can vary. There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her. The bond that connects you with that person is the same bond that connects you with the person sitting next to you on a bus, or with a bird, a tree, a flower. Only the degree of intensity with which it is felt differs.


Even in an otherwise addictive relationship, there may be moments when something more real shines through, something beyond your mutual addictive needs. This may happen during physical intimacy or when you are both witnessing the miracle of childbirth, or in the presence of death, or when one of you is seriously ill – anything that renders the mind powerless. When this happens, your Being, which is usually buried underneath the mind, becomes revealed, and it is this that makes true communication possible.


True communication is communion – the realization of oneness, which is love. Usually, this is quickly lost again, unless you are able to stay present enough to keep out the mind and its old patterns.


Although brief glimpses are possible, love cannot flourish unless you are permanently free of mind identification and your presence is intense enough to have dissolved the pain-body or you can at least remain present as the watcher. The pain-body cannot then take you over and so become destructive of love.

from The Power of Now, copyright 1999


eckharttolle. com




Lightworkers

   Our Most Important Legacy   





   Ways to Show Love to Children   

by Steve Brunkhorst

Our children are our most important legacy to the world. However, our love is our most important legacy to our children. Here are seven ways to show love that will help children build sturdy foundations for the future.


1. Spend Time with Your Children.
- Time is the most loving gift we can give to our children. It allows for the mutual exchange of ideas, emotions, actions, and words that help our children develop and learn to communicate.


Enjoy a toddler's tea parties as well as a teen's ball games. Help your children build things and create art. Begin new family traditions that you can enjoy together each year. Ample time spent in mutually enjoyable activities will create memories you will always treasure.


2. Be the Primary Role Model for Your Children.
- Children need examples to follow. Teach practical values to your children by modeling those values. Admit when you have made a mistake and apologize. Model being committed to the ideals you embrace. Demonstrate the advantage of integrity over peer pressure.


We teach and influence children more through actions than words. We are our children's first heroes; the ideals that we live today are the ideals that will influence our children throughout life.


3. Listen to Your Children.
- A child's message is one of his or her most essential gifts. We build self-esteem in children when we show interest in what they have to say. Children need to communicate their pride of accomplishment as well as their needs.


Get down at eye level with very young children and listen with your eyes, ears, and heart. Listen most of all to the feelings conveyed through a child's eyes and expressions. If you listen to your children deeply, they will grow up listening deeply to you.


4. Provide Your Children with Loving Discipline.
- Children need guidelines and safe boundaries without being constrained unnecessarily. They need to learn the value of being accountable for their choices and actions.


Let your children know that you disapprove of hurtful actions but will always love them as sons and daughters. Loving discipline enables them to recognize the best in other people. It allows children the freedom to explore the world safely and reach their highest potential.


5. Give Your Children Encouragement.
- Encouraging words are powerful emotional deposits of confidence and self-esteem. Verbally acknowledge your children's special talents and accomplishments. Catch your children doing something great, and tell them what a great job they have done.


Children need to know that we recognize and support their hopes and dreams for the future. Encouraging children to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually provides the foundation for living a balanced life.


6. Share Your Experiences with Your Children.
- We each have valuable stories to tell, unique maps of our journey through life. These stories tell how our reactions to events created the life we are living now. Sharing the benefit of your experiences — the roadblocks and rewards — is a very loving way to guide your children.


Your children may face many of the situations you faced. Your experiences can help them make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary mistakes. Among the most worthwhile possessions that we can someday leave for our children are journals filled with the stories that shaped our lives.


7. Love and Support Your Children Unconditionally.
- Love is an unconditional gift from the heart; it is not a reward for good behavior. Let your children know that you will love and support them in any situation. This message creates a sturdy bond of trust. Your children will grow to feel safe in coming to you with any problem they face.


Children need the freedom to make decisions, try new things, and learn that life requires personal responsibility and persistence. They need the freedom to fail and learn from mistakes without being judged. Unconditional love helps them to acquire the decisiveness and resiliency required to become successful.


If you could sum up all of our children's needs, hopes, and expectations in one word, that word would be love. We share love when we play a central role in our children's world of learning and discovery. Our legacy of love will have a guiding influence upon our children and grandchildren for many generations.

source - achieveezine.com





LoVe*addict

    Improving Your Self Esteem    

If you're tired of feeling "less than", afraid of making and achieving your desires and goals, feel that no matter what you do it is never "good enough", then your self esteem could do with a boost!

Having low self esteem takes an enormous toll on the quality of your life. You take fewer risks, which limits your opportunities, both personally and professionally. You are reluctant to voice or acknowledge your needs. You are probably also haunted by past mistakes and making future ones.



It doesn't have to be like this, the tools you've used to (unconsciously) lower your self esteem are the same ones you use to raise it. The following  gives you ten tips on improving your self esteem and improve the quality of your life!

 SELF ESTEEM IMPROVEMENT TIPS 

1. Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you play this game, you're likely to compare yourself in a negative way and set yourself up for continuing to have low self esteem. Why continue to play a game where you've set the rules against yourself, so that you're less likely to win!

2. Don't keep putting yourself down! You can't develop high self esteem if you constantly repeat negative comments about your skills and abilities. Other people will pick up on it and take on board the negative way you view yourself. How are they likely to treat you? Also don't beat yourself up over "mistakes" that you've made - learn how to reframe them so that they work for you.


3. Using affirmations is an excellent way to raise your self esteem. It's the opposite of no 1. If you can programme your mind to repeat negative phrases about yourself (and see how effective that's been!), then you can certainly get into the habit of continually thinking (and saying to yourself) positive statements about you. When you do, allow yourself to experience the positive feelings about your statements. Also use inspirational quotes to assist you.


4. Accept all compliments graciously. Don't dismiss or ignore them. When you do you give yourself the message that you do not deserve or are not worthy of praise, which reflects low self esteem. It also means that others will become more reluctant to praise or acknowledge your abilities, if you don't.



5. Take advantage of and use life coaching programmes, workshops, and develop a more positive attitude. Whatever material you see, read acts as subliminal learning, which means that it will plant itself in your mind and dominate your behaviour. Talk about food for thought - what diet is your mind on? Is it a nourishing one?

6. Mix with positive and supportive people. Who you associate with influences your thoughts, actions and behaviour - another form of subliminal learning. Negative people can put you and your ideas down and it lowers your self esteem. On the other hand, when you are surrounded by supportive people, you feel better about yourself, which helps you in improving self esteem. Learn how to develop your positive personal support network.



7. Acknowledge your positive qualities and skills. Too many people with low self esteem constantly put themselves down (back to no 1 again!) and don't appreciate their many positive attributes. Learn how to truly affirm and value your many excellent qualities. If you find this difficult, ask others to tell you. They'll come up with things you would never have imagined!

8. Stop putting up with stuff! Not voicing or acknowledging your needs means that you are probably tolerating more than you should. Find out what you're putting up with and zap those tolerations. By doing so, you're giving yourself the message that you're worth it.


9. Make positive contributions to others. This doesn't mean that you constantly do for others what they could be doing for themselves. But when you do make a positive contribution to others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of your own value and raises your self esteem.


10. Involve yourself in work and activities that you love. So many people with low self esteem stop doing those activities that they most enjoy. Even if you're not in a position to to make immediate changes in your career, you can still devote some of your leisure time to enjoyable hobbies and activities.

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LoVe*addict

     Creating Amazing Relationships    

by Brenda Shoshanna
brendashoshanna.com

Most of us have many dreams about what relationships will be like or should be like. We've lived with these dreams forever, so when the real thing happens, and we find ourselves in a relationship reality can be quite a shock. Some people feel tricked, trapped or like failures. Others do everything under the sun to change their partner, change themselves, or figure out why their marriage is different from the way they thought it would be.The first step in truly understanding relationships, however, is to realize that what we dream about or imagine, is not necessarily what is going to happen to us. And that doesn't mean there is something wrong with ourselves or our relationship. It just means that we didn't know what to truly expect.Today, I am going to provide you with some free relationship advice in the form of six facts that no one ever told you about relationships that is important for you to understand. These principles have provided marriage help by helping you discover that your relationship can heal naturally when certain core issues are addressed.


Number 1) Relationships are not static.They can, will and must change. No two people stay the same during the course of a life time. Their needs, wishes, and interests vary. It is unreasonable to expect that relationship partners will always grow and change in the same ways, at the same time. This has to be accepted and included in the relationship. It is not necessary for the two of you to always think the same way, like the same things, or be in the same place at the same time. Just because you may have different tastes or interests doesn't mean that the two of you aren't in love. For relationships to remain vital and healthy it is necessary to have a core of mutual interests, activities and desires, but, it is also crucial to make room for differences between you. This doesn't necessarily mean you are growing apart. It may just mean that you are growing, and will have even more love and understanding to bring to your partner in the long run.


Number 2) Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane.Many people expect to feel "in love" with their partner on a daily basis. By this they mean having romantic feelings of excitement and infatuation, feeling as though they can't wait to see the person, and miss them if they're gone. These individuals must learn the crucial difference between loving a partner and being "in love". Romantic feelings of excitement, intoxication and infatuation necessarily wax and wane. There are times they appear and are very enjoyable -other times they fade into the background. This does not mean something is wrong or that you do not love each other. Love is not based upon fluctuating feelings, but upon a solid foundation of mutual respect, consideration and communication. Although it is wonderful and important to set aside time for romantic time together, the daily on-goingness of life requires a much deeper understanding of what it means to truly love. Love is often tested in the fire, and frequently sacrifice is needed. In order to truly love, one must grow as a person, and that is what relationships are for – to help us grow in our ability to discover what love really is..

Number 3) Love is not dependency. It's all right to be who you are, be different from him, have friends and activities of your own. It's also all right, to give him time with his friends and private space. Love always includes trust of the other, and the knowledge that the more your partner is able to enjoy others, the more he will be able to enjoy being with you. The less you suffocate and possess him, the more he will want to be with you. The less you let him suffocate you, the more you will love him and the more he will respect you. It's fine to be two, separate, whole people. From that basis, a lot of love can grow.


Number 4) Being angry doesn't mean you do not love each other.Some feel that as soon as they are angry with their partner or their partner is angry with them the love has gone out the window. Of course, if anger goes on for too long, or is not dealt with properly, it certainly can erode the quality of a relationship. But being angry is not a sign that he doesn't love you, or you him. It is simply a sign that it is time for good, open, honest, careful communication to take place. On-going communication is the heart and soul of every good relationship.When we bottle up our needs and feelings and pretend to be who we are not, then all that has been hidden will explode through anger. But, when we recognize anger, irritation or resentment as it arises, and freely discuss our needs or responses with our partner, not only does the anger diminish, but our relationship grows closer. Take anger as a sign that you are being an opportunity to communicate more and know each other better. Let it make you closer, not further apart.


Number 5) Even though you're together all the time, you still must make time for one another.Actually, you must actually carve out more time for each other when you live together. Living together it's easy to take one another's presence for granted. But just because the person is there physically, does not necessarily mean you're sharing quality time. Children, errands, pressures at work and social obligations can create a whir of activity, but not intimate time between the two of you. Carve out intimate time when the two of you are alone. Go some place special. Make time to talk and hug. Make time to have fun alone. This is a wonderful refresher to every marriage and should be done at least weekly.


Number 6) Being together for a long time doesn't have to take the magic away. It's wonderful to have someone at your side, who you share experiences with year after year. There is no way to replace a person who you've gone through many years with, sharing common experiences and memories. The sense of continuity and trust that can develop between you is a jewel. It is wonderful to wake up each morning, knowing this person is at your side. As the years pass you know each other better and better, whatever happens you both know there is someone there for you, who understands what you are going through. As our ability to share grows, the burdens of life diminish greatly, and the joys intensify as well.

*For free relationship advice >>  truthaboutlove.com

LoVe*addict

     Improve ANY Relationship    

by Todd Goldfarb

There are always going to be people in our lives that we do not "vibe" with.  Unfortunately, sometimes our situations dictate that we spend a lot of time with these individuals (i.e. a boss, sister-in-law, or co-worker), and it is imperative to learn how to best deal with it!


Here are 9 of the most effective techniques you can implement to begin seeing these people in a different light.  Try a few of these exercises out over the next few weeks and I can almost guarantee you will notice an improved outlook:

1.
Commit to LISTENING For One Full Day - Challenge yourself to become an unobstructed listener for one whole day to someone you have problems relating.  As they communicate with you simply look them in the eye, breathe, and refrain from giving your typical opinion (or feeling the usual frustration).  This practice will force you to listen in a different manner, and generate a new perspective by quieting the little chatterbox in your head that causes the dislike.


2.
Giving Up Being "Right" Even When You KNOW You Are Right - On the same note, while you are practicing this new way of listening give up the attitude that you are right even when you are certain you are right!  Many times, not vibing with someone stems from a general disagreement on the "ways of the world".  Realize that you may NEVER agree with them on certain things and give up arguing and imposing your viewpoint for a day.  This is a wonderful practice that teaches you acceptance and patience.


3.
Sing Their Praises to Others - I am not a big fan of "gossiping", but spreading encouraging news and positive gossip about someone you typically do not vibe with is a great way to shift the energy between you.  They will love hearing good news going around about them, and will look at you differently.


4.
Ask Them For Help - By nature, human beings enjoy helping and giving to others.  Yes, even the person you find it so hard to get along with.  A great way to knock down relationship barriers is to ask someone you have problems with for help.  Make sure it is in an area they have expertise, and see how this simple act can change the whole landscape of your relationship.


5.
Give and Expect Nothing in Return
- To open up the door with someone you typically have problems, try doing something unexpectedly nice.  Buy a small model airplane that you know he collects, or bring her a glazed donut you know she loves in the morning.  It does not have to be big, but the more important thing is to give genuinely and not have the "OK so what am I going to get in return" attitude.  

6.
Be Completely Honest With Them - You will not be able to have truly meaningful relationships with others unless you are genuine and forthcoming.  People, at their cores, respond much more positively to honesty.  I am not advocating telling them how much you despise them and disagree with everything they do, but encouraging more honest communication.  This may be hard for you to do at first, but worth it in the long run if you want more fulfilling relationships.


7.
Focus Your Attention on the Positive Attributes of the Relationship
- When it comes down to it, our own thoughts dictate much of the way we relate to other people.  In dealing with people you do not get along with, try a shift in your internal dialogue—think about the positive things they bring to the table as opposed to all the negative ways they impact your life!  Applying positive thinking when it comes our relationships can be hard work, but can also hold the key to how you relate with almost everyone!

8.
Make a Journal Entry As If You Were Them
- Another fantastic way to get perspective on someone else, and "wear their shoes for a day", is to write a journal entry as if you were them.  What goes on in their mind?  How do they see the world and what do they think about YOU?  As you do this really delve into the mind of the other person and momentarily let go of your own views.  This one exercise can greatly improve your relationship with anyone!

9.
Sleep on It
- When all else fails, and the person is making your blood boil, I implore you to cultivate enough patience to sleep on it and resume action the following day.  Things will look different after a good night's rest, and you are not apt to act as rash!


Employing these 9 activities can improve almost any relationship you are in.  Try them out, you will see results almost immediately!

source - wethechange.com





LoVe*addict

All healthy relationship include some levels of trust and respect. But power relationships are a breed apart. Power relationships are based on especially deep levels of mutual respect and trust, plus the ultimate personality power tool - authenticity. Here are some tools to help you create the deep levels of authenticity found in power relationships.

    Seven Power Tools    

1.
Relaxation - The more comfortable you are around others, the more comfortable they will feel around you. It a natural human response to pull away from someone who appears nervous or uneasy. The best way to immediately build communication rapport is to smile and relax your body (and especially your face). This may seem simple, but is very important. A genuine smile presents an open door to communication.


2.
Power Listening - Effective communication is far more than just talking - the real key is effective listening. Power communicators focus on what the other person is saying, rather than worrying on how they will respond. If you have trouble communicating clearly with others, you may want to try the following communication power tool: Mirror their thoughts back to them, and ask them if you properly understood what they said. The simplest way to do thisis is to paraphrase what they just said to you, and ask them if you properly understood what they meant.


Another good power tool is this: As the other person speaks, pay close attention to their expressions and body language. Try to pick up the deeper emotions revealed by their speech patterns. This is the essence of one especially powerful personal empowerment tool known as NLP (neuro linguistic programming).


3.
Provide Recognition - Words either strengthen or weaken trust. It is not always possible to consider the impact of your emotions and words before you speak. In a tough emotion-packed situation, sometimes the best response is to hold your response for a few seconds (or minutes, if possible).


One often overlooked, but extremely valuable power tool is the compliment. People are hungry for recognition. If you compliment someone for the intelligence and insights they've shared with you, you will encourage a relationship of mutual trust and respect. This is such a powerful tool it may amaze you.


4.
Provide Support - The ultimate emotional support tool is "empathy." Empathy is a foundation of power communication and simply involves seeing from another person's perspective, regardless of your own opinion or belief. Is this easy? Nope! But genuine feelings of empathy cement strong bonds of trust. Let people know that you respect them as a person. Offer understanding and encouragement in times of difficulty, and you will build even stronger bonds of trust.


5.
Be Authentic - Acting authentically with others basically involves acting with integrity. At its core, authenticity is simply acting in keeping with your own values. It means being truly honest with both yourself and others. In a power relationship authenticity is based on being yourself, and avoiding acts that create false appearances. You know how easy it is to spot someone that is putting on an act - we all have this intuitive capability. Being authentic creates deep levels of mutual trust and true respect.


6.
Acknowledge Generously - Look for and acknowledge other people's positive qualities. Appreciating their strengths and contributions builds strong bonds of trust. And remember to acknowledge your most important relationship - the relationship with yourself. Recognize your own qualities, and put them into action. You cannot form a strong relationship with others unless you have first done so with yourself! All relationships radiate out from our relationship to our self.


7.
Take Action! - Build a power relationship with your own self, and you will easily do so with others.
Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationships I desire? What one action can I take today to empower my current relationships?

source - quantum-self.com





LoVe*addict