for anybody thats reading this and has wondered if i was still alive and causeing trouble, well i am and i'm in some shit. this is me venting and nothing else. you don't want to hear me bitch, don't go any further.

ok, the first thing to know is that by me moving to the coast, i am automatically put on the area's most wanted list. not saying that to be funny, its true. there are 3 kinds of people down here: white folks, mexicans and tourists. and since i'm not white, it has been brought to my attention( many times ) that it makes me mexican. and what happens when  a bunch of mexicans get together?  not a damn thing, but everybody else has a different idea.  what i'm getting at is that if anything goes wrong in my neighborhood, and it has, police come to question me. its happened seven fucking times now and they still don't see that i don't mess with anybody down here. i don't know people to do shit down here. but whatever, it keeps thing from getting boring.

now onto work. if you did't know i work for the biggest Publix in town. bigger than anyone in the area and we get more custormers than any other store in the area. this means alot of people. and alot of people means alot of carts. my right hand got caught  in between two carts and, for the lack of a better word, got crushed. not broken but crushed. i can't use my hand for a couple weeks and this makes my job a little difficult.  but it gets better, sort of.

for some reason alot of foreign students spend the summer down here and eventually get a job at, say it with me kids, Publix. its all cool, they're fun to talk with and i've learned to cuss in another three languages( go ME! ) and it makes work more interesting. just the thing is that there is one chick who baggs with me turns out she has a bit of a thing for me.  normally this isn't a problem, i say i'm married and thats the end of it. not this time. not this chick. she has gone as far as to find out where i live a pay me a visit on my day off. not the, "hey, i was in the neighborhood and decided to dropby" kind of visit. it was the, " i know your wifes not home so you want to mess around while she's out?" kind of visit. needless to say this is kind of offsetting, to say the least. and to make it worst, atleast for me, she's fucking HOT.  i'm talking about every chick you see in the those movies where the american kid goes to germany or some place like that and see this incredibly hot woman that for some reason like him and takes him back to her place for a little "alone time". ( god that was retarded ) anyway, its like that but with no sex. at all. i'm faithful and i will not do that. oh, and here is the best part. she met the Mrs. and has brought it to my attention that she "hates her with all her beinng and would like nothing more than to see her leave me for a better woman." her words not mine.

so thats my shit thats been happening. so what "bout you?

WASHINGTON, DC—In the latest in a long series of ominous public pronouncements, the Department of Evil released a statement Monday demanding that all residents of the United States must die.

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Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds told reporters that they, too, must die.

"Yes, all must die," Dread Secretary of Evil Hammond S. Reynolds said during a press conference in Room 1228 of Washington's Robert C. Weaver Federal Building. "There shall soon come an accounting in which all will fall before the Grim Reaper as wheat in winter, as lambs under the knife. Soon all necks will feel the steely bite of our soul- thirsting axe, wielded by the unforgiving iron hand of the Department of Evil. Thus spake I, Dread Secretary Reynolds."

The dread secretary then took questions from the assembled reporters.

Although the Department of Evil has not yet announced the exact timetable for the death of all, it recommends citizens make their peace with doomed relatives and spouses immediately, as the hour of their ending draws ever nigh and will be upon them as soon as the necessary funding has been authorized by the House Appropriations Committee.

"This budget approval is merely a pitiful, niggling formality, for soon we'll be free to swarm across the land draining the life-pus out of all you quivering mortal worms," Reynolds said. "Doubt us not: Come the wintertide, you all shall die, and die you will. Sorry, I meant 'must.' Die you must!"

Originally established by an act of Congress in 1953 and granted broader powers and funding in 1986 under the second Reagan administration, the Department of Evil has been an occasional source of controversy. Its 1993 And The Streets Shall Run Red With The Blood Of The Innocent initiative was highly criticized at the time by moderates, who thought the department's agenda overly harsh.

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An official from the Department of Evil described their 2007 strategic action plan at a conference in January.

In 2004, an ambitious plan to seed the clouds with blood and then rain excruciation down upon the thrice-damned didn't even make it past a Senate budget committee, which criticized the plan as poorly conceived.

And last year, the department received a stinging blow after Congress voted to allocate only one-third of the money requested to swell the ranks of its deranged, barbarous demon cavalry.

Despite those recent setbacks, a DOE spokesbeast said that the dread secretary remains confident that his department will prevail in the end.

To publicize their current mission, the Department of Evil distributed to media outlets a ring-bound portfolio titled "You Shall All Perish Screaming 2007," which provides estimates and logistics detailing how everyone will die, a line-by-line budget breakdown, and an addendum apologizing that the document was not printed in human blood. The full text is available at evil.gov.

The "All Must Die" initiative, the highest-profile program proposed by the DOE in recent memory, came under almost immediate scrutiny from politicians on both sides of the aisle.

"I don't understand why we still even have a Department of Evil," Sen. Sherrod Brown (D-OH) said. "It's a Cold War holdover, an artifact of the '50s that has outlived its usefulness. Mr. Reynolds has done as good a job as any recent dread secretary, but as afraid as I am of him, I believe his talents would be better served at Education or Agriculture."

"Once again, Mr. Reynolds wants to throw money at the everyone-dies issue—in this case, $11.43 billion," Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) said. "This is a waste of taxpayer dollars to do work best left to the private sector. It's high time for the DOE to be absorbed into Homeland Security, where it belongs."

At the press conference, Reynolds refused to disclose his reasons for proposing that all must die.

"Question not the dread secretary, insects!" said Reynolds, rearing back his mighty head and bellowing as a powerful crescendo emanated from the department's enormous Gothic pipe organ. "First, the bandwagoners in Congress seek to derail our plans or committee them to death. Now, the mindless blood-bags who populate this teeming nation wish to know why they must perish. I will respond with the same answer we have always given: Despair, groveling vermin, and may your deaf, blind God forsake the United States of America! We're done here."

if you liked the penguin game from before( see blog before this one ), then you'll love these two. the first one is like the penguin game from before but a little bit bloodier and the other is called Spank the Monkey. ENJOY!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/pingu2.php

http://www.addictinggames.com/monkey.html

http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf

1. Click on the link.

2. Click once on the snowman and the penguin will leap from the cliff.

3. Click on the snowman again to hit the penguin as he descends from the
cliff.

4. What's your distance?

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back

of the $5 bill.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches

2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would

never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an

average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or

purple.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building

is an American flag.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never

stop growing.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and

"lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that

it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a

chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every

letter of the alphabet.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read

left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous:"

tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in

order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on

one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise

it will digest itself.

..............Now you know everything