Although I never remember dreams, I had one last night I do remember I thought was pretty funny.

There's an athlete another guy I know says "looks like an ape."  I disagree.  He's a foreign guy so many girls consider really sexy.  Personally, I say he says that out of jealousy.

In my dream, I lived at my old house in Illinois.  This athlete was renting a house nearby, like my neighborhood was the place to be for training.  Illinois has the worst weather ever.

He rang my doorbell under the brick entranceway we had.  When I answered it, there was a gorilla at the door before he snapped into his human self to take me on a date.
Hear enough things in real life and you dream them!

Tomorrow night or Monday night, a friend and I are going to continue devirginalizing the apartment stove by cooking......BRISKET! Now, I wanted to share this recipe with everyone, because it's a very odd way in my view to use brisket. I want to believe it's a stew kind of brisket but again, I expect it to be good with the recipe being passed down and everything. Copying the thing off this ancient, crumbling paper with vintage Mickey Mouse on it....sorry if I can't figure out what some words in the old cursive are:

Brisket

3 onions
3 celery
2 green peppers
Red wine
Tomato paste
Garlic
Potatoes
Carrots
Worchestshire sauce

Sautee above ingredients in small amount of oil. Add salt, pepper, 3 fresh garlic cloves and sprinkle with paprika and lawrays seasoned salt.

Oil the same pot with a small amount of wasson, sear meat with high heat on both sides. Veg on meat, 2 cans of tomato paste and more garlic powder. Fork w sauce and 3/4 cup of water, add 3/4 cup wine and tabasco sauce, 1/4 cup, gravy master, ground and cook on stove 3 and a half hours on 3 and a half. Cook on 4 in front 6 in rear or 1/2 on stove + 1 1/2 hour in oven on 325 degrees. Add more wine and water if needed. Put carrots sliced and potatoes in 1/2 hour before serving.
===========
In other news, I'm very, very, very excited to see UT going to the Rose Bowl in January! Last time this happened, I was a youth actually going to college!!! I cannot believe it took 4 whole years for the football team to reappear in Pasadena!

I'm done with my youth. Really. OK, I am feeling a little bit frustrated this weekend. I'm sure some of you are...

Over the last couple years, I have read/heard everything untrue about myself and rumors: I cut myself, do drugs, smoke mushrooms, smoke cigarettes, am an alcoholic, lie about my accomplishments, never graduated from high school and/or college, had older men lie they dated me while I was growing up or express interest in it, date people to get ahead with work opportunities, bother people, have gotten in trouble with the law, etc, etc, etc. Please. My record is clean. But people want to believe it because it's more entertaining than saying "that girl over there likes to read the newspaper and bake sugar cookies in her free time."

Recently, it's like people either only speak to me expecting some kind of "relationship," don't want to be friends with me because they have girlfriends, pretend to be your friend hoping to use you for sex, or think nothing of talking to me as a friend once they get girlfriends. People think they can not pay me for work, rip me off, and treat me like I am stupid. Worst of all is people you only speak with on a professional level wanting more than that, or nothing else, the worst case scenario that really made upset happening recently. I didn't and don't know what to do about it. It was brought on by rumors someone read or heard about me. After that happened, I was really frustrated. I thought about it so much trying to figure out how right when I'm dressed appropriately, acting properly, people, OK creepy guys in particular, treat me like crap. I wish every time they were disrespectful to me, they would know how it feels.

For all the times people say jocks or politicians are horrible, when I was growing up, it was the politicians who protected me from bad people who wanted to do things to me. Jocks have been very respectful of me, in general, as compared to the "regular" people with supposedly great values. What bugs me: I have some people who still stick up for me on occasion but not a husband who can defend me in front of someone, mostly these guys who want to try their luck using me. Very few people like me for who I am. I hate it whenever someone says they wish they could be in my place. To be like me, I guess you could say that. I am highly ambitious. I somehow have morals leftover, the right ones anyway, to say no in situations other girls would have said yes. But to wish to be where I am, no, never wish that.

I hate people telling me I should compromise myself, meaning as in a special "relationship" trade for work or something else. It always feels disgusting hearing it from a professional person people respect. People always trash corrupt Illinois style, but I wish more often things were like that outside Illinois, where instead of sex as expected from men (and one women so far) these days with me, I could give someone kickbacks, trade favors, or provide a large check.

It feels like time after time someone wants to make fun of anything about me. I don't understand it too well. It probably makes other people feel better about their lives to make fun of my appearance, spread rumors, whatever. Good for you. I guess the most hurtful was when people suggested online I commit suicide, not because I felt offended by it so much but because I had a friend do that, and the person I believe wrote it was either A) a guy whose family member killed himself, who knows about my friend or B) the person he dates. The comments aren't up anymore, thankfully. I mean, for a guy whose own family member did that to be involved writing that sort of comment bothers me. It feels very different to read words suggesting that when it's affected you. Second, I'm going through a patch of questioning some stuff about myself although I guess I always had been doing that for years, really only talking about it with a few friends, and this same guy who should've realized that all along said other hurtful stuff about me contradicting what I really am like. Now, I said I'll forgive him for it because I'm a floormat and believe people can be forgiven for mean stuff they've done, but it felt bad.

If I joke around, it's wrong. When I'm too proper, I'm stuffy. I'm too relaxed, that's bad. Too flirty, too uptight, outgoing, not outgoing enough, not flirty enough. I dress frumpy in pants and sweaters and get disrespected. I wear girly clothing, same thing. I don't know what people should expect from me anymore. What am I supposed to be like to please people for what is considered "right" these days? Also, what's up with people saying I'm lying about anything I've done? Really, why did I waste all my youth doing stuff if people were going to say I never did? I hope you all feel good at the end of the day, improving your life by making fun of mine. I'm sure you all look gorgeous and have won a few Nobels so yeah, make fun of what I supposedly haven't done.

I guess in times when people get frustrated, they go off doing drugs or bad things. That isn't me. My response is more I'll go use the gym, something else. I'm lame like that. Although like I said, people want to say I prefer bad activities anyway. My list of people I can openly talk to seems to get shorter every day. Ugh. I wish I lived in a different era. I can't stand how people my age are supposed to dress sloppy, act, do things. It's pretty bad when a jock I know, without my saying anything, also feels the same way about getting bored with his youth. Same here. I'm done with my youth. I am scorned and bitter about life at 22. Nice, haha.

It feels a lot better putting this down on paper tonight. Thanks for listening. :-)

*Want to add, I do realize I'm lucky. I like to believe I can write well, have done decently for my age in terms of accomplishments, am smart, cute, sheltered, have material things that matter, come from a decent life. I get that. It's the other "life stuff" that frustrates me so much.

#1 Read some of the stuff I'm writing sometime!  The business section, or Heartland.  Some ideas if you're ever bored one day...   Soon, I'm going to be doing more for Tennis-X.com.  Hitchhike over to that site sometime in the near future!
#2 I am not Megan Fox! See? I changed my hair color.
Because I was sick and tired of people in general and I guess, loads of tourists saying, "HEY! THAT'S MEGAN FOX!" or snapping cell photos of me while I am eating, I decided to change my hair once and for all.  Actually, it went more like 85 percent of the time, people said I was Megan Fox and the other 15 percent was "THAT'S Katy Perry-Miley Cyrus-Jennifer Connelly-fill in the blank with a generic celebrity brunette girl who looks nothing like me! Oh, MY, GOD!"  *Snap a photo.*

Really, it's one thing if you're photographed by people and that as yourself and something else if you're confused.  That, and most of the time when people aren't telling me I'm Meg Fox, they come up talking to me, "Hey, you're Sally's niece!  You have grown up so much!"  It's like the Asian person stereotype: everyone believes all girls with dark brown hair look alike.

Every time at some modeling thing, ok AND journalism, someone would drop a Megan Fox comment.  By the time a second tennis boy gave me a Megan Fox comment - hey! it was in a cute way! no offense taken - I got fed up.  Let Megan be Megan.  I kind of want to look like myself.  This doesn't seem like a big deal reading it but to hear it every day, and for it to kind of interfere with what I do sometimes got on my nerves.

Make me a real life Barbie, please.
To make sure I'm done with being confused for someone's grandaughter/Megan/ex-boyfriend's sister/etc., I wanted it really impossible that no one else would have something similar.  I walked into the hair salon with a nonhuman photo of a brunette Barbie over at the Bergdorf salon, which I heard was pretty good at giving people what they wanted.

Side note here: earlier in the day, I want to some woman who does some famous print reporters, Campbell Brown, aka. nobody I want to look like although they're awesome folks, who told me, "You should stick to natural.  I'm going to make you look like Charlotte from Sex and the City" after I described her "I want to look like this.  [Rip out photo of Barbie doll.]  Or a Playboy Playmate."  Really, what the heck?  Whenever are these people mentioned in the same sentence as looking like Carmen Electra?

I ended up with a better, younger, nicer girl over at Bergdorf Goodman, who was yeah, cheaper than the other lady.  This took probably four hours at least!  I went in early and ended up leaving in the darkness.  She was really fun to goof around with the whole time I was doing this or it would've been so boring.  The girl mixed up a trunk o' probably three colors to put in plus keeping my real hair as is, plus an additional rinse thing so I suppose that would be...um...5 colors altogether going on?  Anyway, I'm happy with it.

I went to the hospital right as October started for stomach surgery, caught a cough/cold there and learned I couldn't eat dairy products for a bit. Around September, I looked greenish which should've told me something.

Since then, I weigh about 115. I have gained weight from eating regularly again and look/wear the same size as before but more filled out. I'm at the point where I could care less. I feel like telling anyone who ever complains about it, "My hip measurement is 32"! Shut up! Do you want me to have 29" hips? YOU eat a salad!" Whenever I live up North anyway, like growing up in IL or now, i can eat a lot, mostly whatever I want and stay on the thin side. It's with the stupid allergy medicines I take in Texas that I look bad.

I love some of the print writing I have been doing thanks to my awesome editor. I love either writing "real" news articles or being funny and I want to get a chance to do both equally. Modeling has gotten better for me, I enjoy doing book stuff for other people and the weirdest thing has been every day, I get closer to sports involvement. Really! It's so weird. It wasn't my first choice but my mom's choice for me considering my opportunities I've been given in my life and who I've hung out with, but it's growing on me. It can be really fun.

Sports I DO and have always followed: college football! I'm hoping the best for the Longhorns this year! Although I'm wondering why Mack Brown reuses the same plays he knows opposing teams notice by now! What is going on with that?

This week, I caught another cold/cough/sore throat...again. :-o

Last night watching Food Network around midnight or so, right after that, the new "Extreme Sweets" show came on with Mr. Adam. For anyone who didn't watch Work for Food last year, the new show is different anyway - really cute and fun. He went around Hollywood area sweet factories/stores which were normal until the part with the bug candy. Have you ever seen those lollipops with worms inside, chocolate crickets, a big red apple cased in by caramel bugs? Ecgkh. Later, he went to a place with the jellybean portraits. I got to see a couple of them in person! They're more colorful than on the show. I never knew you commissioned one.

Probably going to update my blog soon in this entry....

US Open tennis boys make me appear four feet tall.  The good news?
Я владею русским!
OK, that statement is slightly inaccurate.  I do try my best to do it.

I know I'm going to be sitting here after this tournament is over wondering what to do with myself!

Мы прекрасно. Да?

Check out my interview with the first Turkish man to ever make the second round of a Grand Slam!

http://www.tennis-x.com/xblog/2009-09-01/2205.php

This week, my doorman went to send me a UPS box in the elevator. My dog follows me around everywhere no more than two feet away at any time. When I went inside the elevator to get the box, I walked out, like normal thinking the dog was behind me. He always follows me.

The dog actually stayed in the elevator, and the doors closed on him! He rode all the way down to the lobby shivering, where he was rescued by the doorman!! I had to go collect him...he was a nervous wreck the rest of the day.

How weird is that if you had ridden the elevator, seeing this dog alone riding it like he pushed the buttons, "Hmm, I'm going out for a walk today?"

BURN THIS PHOTO!



Merry Tuba Christmas December 2000,
with Matt F. one of the original M's in my collection, possibly the first.

We're trying so hard, we look ridiculous.

***Not original hair color. This has already been highlighted blonde and darkened here!

Apparently, this coupon isn't good everywhere....telling more later...

Did you all see how well Roger Federer did yesterday?

I was watching that thinking, "This is like a baseball score."

This is a great week for TennisGrandstand.com material for sure...

Updating my blog later!

ADDED new terrace & apartment photos on my website [KNR section right side]. Check it out!!

The terrace now has a hedge, white fence, and new trees!





Boo! The tale of the haunted tapestry!

I don't believe this is actually haunted, but I told M. a while back it was to scare him.

This tapestry is actually from 1800's Belgium.  An old woman unrelated to me purchased it there, moved to France, England, and then South America.  Somewhere along that time, her husband was murdered(!!), leaving a trace of blood on the tapestry that was cleaned off by a seamstress!

I've tried to find the spot before.  It really was cleaned well.  And I love how the story goes that a seamstress cleaned it.  Who uses that word today?

My grandpa bought a house from the tapestry owner and/or her daughter(?) in Caracas, Venezuela that came with the tapestry.  They didn't want it because of the bad memories, I assume.  Since then, it traveled to Miam, Illinois, Texas, and now New York.

Yesterday-
REALLY loved going to a street fair, flea market, etc. over in Chelsea, walking to West Village from where I am, etc.  I went around NYU and sort of hung out.  Somewhere along the route I discovered a BBQ brisket sandwich that was pretty delicious for North of the Mason-Dixon line and a corn quesadilla made from arepa flour.

Friday-
I turned 22.

WEBSITE-
I am in the process of updating my web site, photos and interview sections.  I know I say this often.  I really mean it!  An update...

KRYSTLE RUSSIN.COM (left)==
NOWHERE NEAR DONE!

KRYSTLE NICOLE (right)==
Mostly done.  You can take a look around!  Only need to update family photo album section, which would be scanning.  This is the easy part of programming...the photos.

My favorite of the new photos, particularly because it reminds me of a circus or something teen pop singer circa 2000: