The Sanskrit word
tapas is often translated as heat or austerity. It is the third
niyama (practice of self-control) from Pantanjali's yoga sutras. Tapas can also be thought of as the willingness to endure intensity for the sake of transformation. This intensity can be brought about through various methods, from yoga asanas that target places in the body that hold tension, memories, and closedness, from dietary or sensual restrictions, or via more extreme practices such as fire walking or sitting.
But we can also tap into the transformative power of tapas when intensity presents itself in our personal lives. This may be ushered in by a number of situations: losing a job, the death or illness of a loved one, intimate relationships, or any number of situations that test our strength, resolve, and vision.
The human tendency is to run or hide from intensity. In a physical asana practice, we all have our poses which produce anxiety and discomfort. There is the opportunity to still the mind in these challenging poses, and to be with the feelings of helplessness, anxiety, doubt, and fear that they bring up. For some people, it is pigeon pose, a deep hip opener that can easily bring you to the edge of pain.
pigeon pose
Relaxing into pigeon pose or any of the other challenging asanas (each person will have his or her challenging poses; they are different for each of us depending on what we are working with) will pay off over time. The tight area loosen, releasing trapped prana (life energy). The physical body holds memories and energetic remainders of our past experiences. Through asana practice, we can literally release these karmic remainders and grow more open physically, spiritually, and emotionally. But it will not be without pain or intensity.
The same goes for our personal lives. When confronted with an intense situation, it is often our desire to end it as soon as possible. However, if we allow ourselves to endure the intensity, we may find ourselves transformed. There may be pain, confusion, anxiety, and fear, but nothing is ever permanent, and emotions are some of the most ephemeral phenomena of all. As with pigeon pose, we will eventually come out of the pose, and with it, the anxiety and pain will be released. So it is with our personal lives.
Accepting and even inviting this type of intensity into your life is a hallmark of people on the yogic or spiritual path. There comes a point in development where you realize you can not run, reject, or refuse. You must work through this that has been brought to your consciousness. If you were not able to handle it, if you were not ready for the lessons, if you did not NEED the lessons, you would not have found your way there. So it goes for the yoga mat: no matter if you are just trying out a class at your gym, if you have made your way to the mat, there will come a pose that challenges you and frightens you. Your inner dialouge will begin running with comments about yourself, your level of ability, doing it "right" or "wrong," embarrassment, shame, or even self-hate. This is all perfectly normal and ok. It is just part of the work. Let yourself feel those things, and recognize that it is all impermenant and ephemeral.
The same things happen in our personal lives when faced with a challenge. Fear and anxiety produce all manner of inner dialouge, but to endure and accept this intensity with openness for the great teacher that it is is our ultimate challenge. Simply sit with it. Be with it. Do not run, hide, or reject. Even if you are confused and know not what to do, allow yourself to be and allow the answers to come. Sometimes there will be no answer. Simply stay present. No answer may ever come. Be present. Feel confusion, doubt, and uncertainty but do not let it define you. Allow yourself to respond and act at any given moment, as is the only truth as all we have is the present. Feel anxiety and stay with it...it too will pass, just as the intensity of a challenging asana will eventually be released, along with the prana that was trapped in it.
Mine is currently bound extended side angle pose. I feel anxiety and tension in my hips and shoulders. I am working on opening my shoulders sufficiently to allow myself to bind behind my back while not collapsing into my hip. Dropping my shoulders and opening them relate to opening my heart. While my heart center is very open, a BOUND pose represents how open this area can be under challenging circumstances, and this is exactly where I am in my personal life as well: it is difficult for me to keep my heart center open when I am challenged, or bound, as it were. I would rather close up, grow cold, and not remain open to what may emerge from the murkiness, which includes getting hurt, losing something or someone dear to me, or failing to accomplish my most cherished dreams. Sometimes we give up on our greatest desires and dreams and let those we love most not matter because we are protecting ourselves.
bound extended side angle pose: Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana
Allow the heat of tapas to cleanse and transform you. Sit with it, even if for just a few seconds longer than you normally would before rejecting, running, or denying. Maybe even let the idea that you could learn something or grow from this dance in your mind for a bit.
Tapas: heat, austerity, intensity. Observe where your anxiety lies. You will find a clear sign pointing to exactly the areas that most need transformation, softening, and healing.