Anywho, I just applied online for possible warehouse/stock work at my local Six Flags, the one in Agawam. You know? Riverside!!!!! Anyway it got me thinking....

What's with the "assesment" questions they have? Especially the ones that ask what kind of grades I had in high school or whether or not I got in any trouble in high school. I've been out of hs for quite some time, and have changed almost 180 degrees since the horrid times there. Therefore, the grades I had and whatever 'little' trouble I got in is completely irrelivent to how I am now as a person. I was a lazy ass slacker in high school. If I could do it all over again, I would have done all my homework and been a better student all together. But the past is past, I can't change it, only learn from my mistakes. I know I am a much better person now, that if and when I finally decide to enter back into the world of school via the college circuit, I will be a most attentative student dedicated to my studies. Now if only my dad would for over the cash for me to go. But he won't. Oh welll.

And now to the BIGGY that really kinda irks me. The very last question on the very last page on the application asked whether or not I am Hispanic or Latino? Seriously? What is the actuall point in this? Why do they ask about a persons' ethnic backrounds? Would being of Hispanic or Latino heritage/race make me more qualified for this job?

I worries if it would come to this:: They're ready to hire one more person for the position. They are looking at two people. One person is Me, while the other person is someone of Hispanic or Latino backround. I have much more experience and crudentials partial to the job than the other applicant, but I am passed on and the other applicant is hired simply because of their 'minority'*. Unfortunately due to the uber-Liberal movement of "Affirmative Action", this often does happen, whether it be in empoyment or being accepted to colleges. I for one think this is rediculous.  Promotions and such should be based on MERIT and not the colour of ones skin. If the white person has more merit and experience than the coloured person, then the white person should be the one hired. Or visa versa. If the coloured person has more promise etc. to their resume, they should be the one hired.
 
And come to think of it. I am Italian. And according to history, alot of the mainland of Italy was settled by people whom migrated from Spain. It is also most likely that the folks from Spain intermarried and procreated with the European Caucasion settlers and already inhabitors of Italy. So in a sense, I could, VERY WELL actually be Latino!

And yes. I still used the term 'colored' when referencing people of the non-caucasion "race". There are plenty of people out there that may look Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Puerto Rican etc, but sometimes you wouldn't know for sure unless you asked them of their actual ethnic backround. Heck, I've been asked on several occasions whether or not I am Spanish! I also work with a young man whom is a very light skinned African American, but he could easily be looked at or mistaken, based on what he looks like, as either Hispanic, Puerto Rican, heck he could even pass as Middle Eastern! It's also much like our current President, Barack Obama. Without knowing his backround or who he is(say if he was just a regular ordinary guy, but he's the freakin' President, so he's not), most who'd pass him on the street would probably see a 'black' man. But calling Obama black is really only half true. Because his mother is white. Therefore I have no problem calling Obama our first colored President rather than our first black President.

I guess I am just tired of the race card being played by people and companies. I know that the term "colored" has been seen as non PC. But I am one of the most non politically correct persons out there. I simply try not to offend people. And if I do....oops.

But as far as race or ethnicity goes, I am Irish, Italian about a big toe of German. But the way I see, and as I wish the uber-Liberals SHOULD see it, I live in the United States of America, I pay my taxes, follow the laws, and speak English. I am an American! And a Proud American I am!

And just another little opine of mine, the only people in this country that I feel should NOT be required to learn English are those who are Native American. Why? Because THEY were here FIRST and we did kinda take this land from them(I include myself in this because my Grandpa's side has been traced all the way back to the Mayflower).
Power to the people!!!
 
okay, I'm done......phew...
 
* I actually don't like the term minority to describe one group of people in the whole of the USA. The side of town I live in, or the little corner I live on is full of people either on Welfare, SSD, or some other state assistence. I am not. Therefore, I am kinda the minority where I live. Right? And what about areas where 60-80% of the population is either Black, Hispanic, etc. People will then get all pissy and cry racial profiling if the majority of criminal arrests are either Black or Hispanic etc. It's called the 'law of probability' people. The town I live in is made mostly of Caucasion (aka white) folks. So it's no wonder that most of the names in the Police Blotter of the Enfield Press are "white" names. Just thought I'd share....comment please!

Well I finally did it. Been needing to for a while. I called the doctor so I can get with him and so he can refer me to a (hopefully good) psychiatrist.
I've been having "issues" with my depression and anxiety/social phobia for the past couple of months, but have been in a state of denial, not to mention all my overwhelming feelings on inadequacy. Thus my attendance at work has been afffected, causing me to be more broke than I should be. I think I may actually be in the wrong kind of job, as I am just around to many people at one time. I've come to the conclusion that I may be better of 'behind the scenes', such as being back in a stock position. But with the way things are with the economy, jobs just ain't out there. Trust me, I've been looking! The only hope is that something will open up at Hallmark and I can vie for the position and get it. If that means going back to second shift, then so be it.
But anywho, yeah, I'm going to see the doc, finally. My mom has been sorta on my ass for this. She shall be pleased. I need to get my act together, find out what's 'wrong' with me, whether or not it's time for new meds, or a new diagnoses? I dunno. I just wanna get back on track, so I can be better off financially so I can go out and do the things that truly make me happy, such as hanging out with the friends I've made, con wise. Something tells me that NYCC may not be happening this year....but we'll see. I do believe in miracles!
I need to start feeling better about myself. I need to stop being so afraid of the world. I need to find some ambitions....damnit!
Wish me luck!
May the Force be with you all!

This is what I have posted on my OkCupid profile under the "what I am looking for" catergory:

 

You're alot like me. Looking to start as friends with the potential for....more?

You LOVE Star Wars!

You have a decent paying, full time job.

You graduated High School.

You live on your own, or AT LEAST have the experience of living on your own.

You're in decent physical shape.

You have all of your teeth.

You don't smoke or drink heavily.

You believe in 'equal partnerships'.

You can handle the fact that I can belch better than you any day.

You eat meat.

You want to eventually move out of CT.

You Cosplay.

You know what 'Cosplay' means.

You love Star Wars...

 

Some folks have told me I need to "broaden my horizons" and shouldn't be too picky with things. This often comes up when I say I won't date a smoker. Well, I'm sorry. I ain't kissin' no ashtray! And to me, cigs are a waste of money and it's not healthy. I'd rather date a healthy speciMan!

If I may I'd like to quote the Alanis Morissette song "21 Things I Want in a Lover": "These are 21 things that I want in a lover. Not neccessarily needs, but qualities I'd prefer. I figure I can decide it, since I have a choice in the matter"

Seriously, is this too much to ask for? Am I not being 'liberal' enough in my choices of whom I would want to be with?

It's just I haven't had a boyfriend since I was in the 7th grade! That's 13 years for me, people. Sooooo, I'm kinda leary and VERY picky. Dating is something I know, well, NOTHING about and would like to get "into the field".  I'm just afraid I'm gonna meet guys whom are only looking to either get laid or get married right away, and that's not what I want. I still have dreams that I want to pursue and wouldn't mind someone to 'come along for the ride'. A big kid like me!

And is it wrong, or arrogant of me to want to be with someone whom is in decent physical shape or someone I find physically attractive? I think this stems from MY OWN low self esteem with my body. I'd rather be with a guy whom, that when I look at him, I'll think there is nothing wrong with him. Don't get me wrong, I ain't looking for no Justin Timberlake...in fact I think that JT is, well not all that good looking to me. Sorry Sean=).

I dunno. But it would be nice to find someone. I see and know so many that are in commited relationships and they're so happy. Perhaps I'm jealous...though I prefer the term envious. I guess I just want in on all that happiness.

I wrote a song poem recently that ends with the ever so cheesy line "Someday my prince will come." I certainly pray this is true.

Is he you?

Kiss While Your Lips Are Still Red

Performed by Marco Hietala/Nightwish....

Words and music by the INCOMPARABLE Toumas Holopainen ....

.. ..

Sweet little words made for silence not talk
Young heart for love not heartache
Dark hair for catching the wind
Not to veil the sight of a cold world

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour's never a wasted one
The violin, the poet's hand
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn


Kiss while your lips are still red
While he's still silent
Rest while bosom is still untouched, unveiled
Hold another hand while the hand's still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they're still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn....

Love while the night still hides the withering dawn....

.. ..

Tell me these ain’t some of the most BEAUTIFUL lyrics you have ever read!!! Toumas is a freaking GOD!!! Marco truly has the voice of an angel when he sings this! ....

found this on another persons myspace blog. Makes total sense if you ask me...

Paradox

The Paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, yet less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too much. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, but not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses but broken homes. These are the days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window, but nothing in the stockroom. Give time to love, give time to listen, give time to speak. -George Carlin