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I love you

LW

Two Orangutans broke loose from two entirely different zoos recently. Here are links - link
link
link

Is this the start of an uprising?

Will we slowly hear scattered stories about other Orangutans breaking out of their cages with no one really noticing the increased frequency in this rather odd pattern.

Orangutans will work their way into everyday society. At first they will draw attention, but before long people will forget that orangutans were normally animals who either lived in arboreal settings or were displayed in zoos rather than working as high powered executives.

Eventually some maverick primate scientist will put the pieces together, figure out the pattern and know that orangutans all over the world are working together to attempt a planet wide overthrow of humans. The scientist will have a rather unorthodox solution but because most of his colleagues don't listen to him, even though they all acknowledge how brilliant he is, his plan will be ignored until it is too late.

Keep an eye out.

LW

As the father of a two year old I hope to never explain a choice to my daughter with the phrase "because I said so." I've was never fond of this explanation when I was merely someone's kid and now that someone is my kid I've gained no love for it. I have, however, come to understand how honest and straight forward it is.

As a child I was rarely given the excuse "because I said so" by my mother. She was, is, and always will be the type who explains her reasoning behind a decision or response when asked even if an explanation isn't necessary or warranted. The few times it was invoked I found it frustrating. I perceived this explanation to be a cover for some other real reason behind a restriction or direction my mother had given me. I think I was given this answer mostly in situations where my safety was at risk and I was unable or unwilling to accept that I was at risk. I wouldn't stop doing something when told because I didn't think it was dangerous. That reason not working my mother would resort to brute authority and order stoppage based solely on the authority she held as the provider of my life, food, shelter, Nintendo games, and Stephen King novels. Sometimes that would work sometimes not so much.

I've realized, in the over two years of parenthood that are now under my belt (where does that phrase come from), that "because I said so" when uttered by a parent is actually a very legitimate explanation. This response is most commonly used in one of two situations, both to which it is applicable.

In one situation a parent is asked "why?" after making a request or demand and that parent responds with "because I said so" because the actual reason the child should do what she or he is told is because the parent said so. That's it. Simple, straight forward, uncomplicated. As a child in this particular situation you are not fully capable of making the right choices and I as a parent am still very responsible for and accountable for what happens to you whether or not you make bad choices so you need to do what I say simply because I'm saying it. There are situations in life where you are never to old for this situation to arise and your parent can tell you to do something you need to do it simply because you were told by a parent. You could be 50 and you mother could be 80 and you still need to do what you're told.

The second situation is one that I find more complicated and thus more interesting. The explanation of "because I said so" is somehow even more literal than in situation number one. A parent has made a decision that results in some direction or command being given to a child and the parent likely hasn't even fully thought out why they made the decision they made or how they reached that decision but a precedent is being set that a rule given by a parent must be followed. This rule only needs to show a little weakness, a slight fraying, for the child to come to the conclusion that nothing the parent says is hard and fast. This eventually removes pretty much all regularity and security from the child's life. The parent is enforcing the rule only because the rule has been created and thus must be enforced or else anarchy. This version of "because I said so" is pretty much the fabric of government regulations and religious dogma.


The state supreme court in California just ruled that "people have a fundamental right to marry the person of their choice and that gender restrictions violate the state Constitution's equal protection guarantees." This seems like a ridiculous thing to still be debating. The main problem is that marriage should really be separate from a union between two people that is recognized by state and federal governments as a long-term partnership that is based on a non-business relationship. Obviously that description is too long and a different term would be needed, perhaps civil unions. Marriage is really a religious institution and civil unions should be the thing you need to do if you want any legal changes based on your relationship. The arguments against same sex marriage all boil down to the second version of "because I said so." That's not okay because someone said it wasn't okay. It's a rule and we need to follow rules or anarchy.

Of course, there are rules that go away all the time and new rules that come up because culture isn't static. Rules and laws on both small and large scales struggle with the same thing linguists argue about. Should the emphasis be on being descriptive or proscriptive. In linguistics what's popular and common is generally what becomes correct because how people use language is how language is used and that's what linguists should be focused on. Where laws and rules are concerned what is popular and common isn't always right so the scale needs to tip towards proscription more often and much more heavily.


When it comes to the rules I make as someone's Daddy I'm usually trying to teach the little miss about social norms and taboos and on that end I'm giving fairly descriptive guidance. But, I'm also often just telling her what to do so that she won't die or even be badly injured. I'm sure I'll someday tell her "because I said so" just like I'm sure that some day she'll tell me how stupid and wrong I've been in my parenting, but for now I can pretend that our relationship is somehow different and special and unlike any experience a father and daughter have shared in the past. And as long as she lives under my roof she will listen to my rules. And she'll like it.

LW

Hey all-

If you're in Minnesota I'm doing an improv comedy show this Friday, May 16th.

The show is at 11pm at the Brave New Workshop in Uptown Minneapolis.
The cost is $10.

The show is called Improv Punch-Out. Two groups perform and then the audience chooses a winner.

My group, Sir Laffs-A-Lot, hasn't performed in a long time and we may never perform again as it consist of me and a gentleman named Dan Hetzel who is moving out of state this summer.

The show will be very funny and we will almost definitely not be the audience favorite.

Come and enjoy and then vote with your heart.

A lot of people felt bad
when Christopher Reeve
fell off
of that horse. But,
what the hell
is a quadriplegic
doing on a horse in the first place?

What did
he think would happen?


LW

There's a self-help concept that is fairly common within various programs for success and self improvement that says in order to achieve success and live the life you truly desire you should behave as though you already have those things you long for. It's the same thing as saying dress for the job you want rather than the job you have.

If you wish you were wealthy you should think of yourself as a wealthy person. If you wish you were a good public speaker you should behave as though you are.

I hope to some day have a group of friends that will hang out with me and share a meal. Currently, I'm alone and pathetic but I'm trying to improve myself so when I went out to buy dinner I purchased a dozen sandwiches rather than one and enough appetizers to feed a baseball team. Sure, I ended up eating all of that food over the course of three hours alone in my darkened apartment, but some day I'll have a gang of pals who will be at home waiting for me to show up with delicious sandwiches. It's only a matter of time.

"It's a machete, it's supposed to be intimidating," Roger said as he continued to continued to dig.

"But, isn't it dangerous. I mean, do you know how to use it?" Conroy had stopped digging and had begun to just stare at the weapon that hung from Roger's belt.

"Yeah, it's dangerous. That's the whole idea. I have this with me and then if we run into someone we don't want to run in to, even though I doubt that will happen, they will be less likely to give us a problem when they see I've got a machete in my hand."

"Are you going to kill someone? Could you kill someone? Have you used the machete before?"


Roger stopped digging and looked over at Conroy. "Look, it's something I've had in my garage for a long time. I had an uncle who used to use it for yard work. He gave it to me because I thought it was cool when I was a kid. I was coming to get you and I saw it on my wall and thought I should bring it along. It's a deterrent. I don't have it to cause trouble, I have it to avoid trouble. People who carry machetes around in the city are generally crazy, right? So, I have this with me while we're trying to find whatever these clues are leading us to and people will just think we're a couple of strange maybe crazy people. And if anyone else is around looking for whatever it is we're looking for they'll think I'm crazy and steer clear of us. I'm not going to use the machete. Unless we maybe run into some really heavy brush."

At the end of his sentence Roger stuck the shovel hard into the ground and he heard a sharp metal on metal sound. He and Conroy looked at one another. Conroy picked up the hand trellis and got on his knees at the edge of where Roger had been digging. The dug more carefully and slowly the more solid part of the ground began to take on the shape of an oval.


More later?

LW

Well, I don't know what to say.
Savings are hard to find
and even harder to take
advantage of. Despite
straying from fiscal
responsibility, the safe bet
is to keep one eye firmly locked,
lodged onto what it is
that will stay the same.
People will always
die. People will always hunger.
People will try to avoid the first
and maximize the second.


I'm not a saver. More accurate would be for me to say I'm not a saver in the areas I think I should be. Or in the cases where I'd like to save. I don't save money particularly well. I don't save and slowly enjoy over time treat items like candy or fun action novels. If I can drink everything in my cup in one gulp I will do so. But, I've got a bunch of old shoes in my closet that I will never wear. They're just not quite worn enough to throw them in the trash but they're too worn to donate to some worthy old shoe charity.

So, what's the difference between the stuff I store with no problem other than being slightly annoyed with them when I'm looking for something they are in the way of and the things I can't seem to save? Obviously it has to do with how I'm thinking about the item or the task. As soon as I decide to save something I'm telling myself that this is work. This is something that requires effort. I have to really put my mind to it and I will save this much or this item. Rather than the approach to something that I just keep around. The thought process there is "should I get rid of this now or see if I have a use for it and eventually get rid of it later."

There must be a way to reshape my mindset in regard to the things I want to save so that the effort factor is removed. I bet there's a whole series of books and audio programs on how to do this and maximize your potential in life! I can probably find a way to do a full switch and make it difficult to hold on to junk I will never use again by thinking of those things as something I'm saving.

I imagine those junk people, you know, the ones who have their homes literally filled with stuff. They are walking on piles several feet deep and they just save everything that enters their front door. I bet those people got half way to mentally switching the mindset of saving and storing random stuff. They've figured out how to save important stuff, but now they just store everything and can't get rid of stuff because it all may be valuable. If that's the option I'd rather just read novels too quickly and not enjoy them thoroughly.


LW

In a few hours I will wake and try to get my girls assembled so that we can travel to the HHH terminal of the Twin Cities airport.

Then we will hopefully be whisked away to the magical state of Texas.

There's a lot that can go wrong in just getting from home onto the plane. Then getting the plane (actually planes) to bring us to Texas. I'm hoping we get off to the airport early enough to get our seats all together. I'm hoping there isn't anything wrong with the plane that delays our departure. I'm hoping our luggage makes the same transfer in Atlanta that we plan to make. I'm hoping the little miss is happy and calm and maybe even sleeps on the plane. I'm hoping we make our connecting flight.

The thing I'm least worried about is tragedy in the skies. Except where tragedy in the skies means the airplane bathroom being occupied for too long while a two year old little girl tries to understand the concept of holding it in.

Frankly, as long as the airport isn't locked and shuttered when we get there with nothing but empty wall sockets and wires where phones used to be I think the trip will be a success.

I do have a question, though. Will it likely be a problem that I've been teaching my highly verbal two year old to shout "death to the infidels" whenever she sees someone in a TSA uniform on TV simply because I think it's funny?

Wish us luck.
LW

I'm not personally a gamer, but I am aware that the latest edition of Grand Theft Auto just came out and it is phenomenally popular. If you're not at all familiar with the game then I suggest you read a newspaper or watch the news at least once a month because you are clearly not doing that or you would have some at least basic knowledge of this game.

If you truly are able to use the internet and do so yet you have never heard of this video game I can tell you that there have been at least 4 versions of the game. They always involve a main character, who the game player controls, who is a low level criminal in some way associated with organized crime. The criminal is trying to work his way up and gain power, money, influence over the course of the game. This is done by engaging in criminal activities. Such as - stealing cars, killing people, selling illegal items, killing people, and also killing people.

Apparently, MADD (which stands for Mothers Against Drunk Driving) is upset about the release of the latest version of this game. It is rated Mature and they think it should be rated Adults only. I have no idea what the difference is between these two ratings. I assume teens can purchase Mature rated games from department stores but they can't purchase Adult rated games. Of course, if their parents either don't care of don't know they are playing these games the teens will likely find another way to get the game even if it's rated Adults only. I don't know how exactly, but I'm guessing the internet would be a viable resource.

Any-who, MADD is exactly as their name implies about this game and the rating. That's not terribly surprising that a parent group is raising trouble about a violent and provocative piece of entertainment that fits right into the interests of a teen gamer. I bet there are numerous organizations who are protesting or speaking out against' Grand Theft Auto and it's alleged detrimental impacts on today's children. I think they're wrong, but I got no problem with them complaining. MADD, however, is specifically upset because the game allows players to get drunk and then drive cars. A character can go to a bar, have some drinks, and then drive around with a blurred screen and more difficult controls.

They're not upset about the ability to have sex with and then kill hookers, no, that's totally not their problem. MAHSWTKH* can deal with that issue as far as the people at MADD are concerned. But pretend drunk driving, well that's just a gate-way to actual drunk driving. They argue that it makes it seem fun or cool to drive drunk. They're probably right, but, people who are stupid are going to be equally stupid before they play the game as they are after.

Absolutely no one is going to decide to drive drunk because of how fun it was in a video game they played. I loved Tetris when I was a teenager and society at large would have no problem if I decided to get a bunch of large blocks of various shapes and drop them from my roof attempting to make them fit together. As fun as that is in an electronic game I have never and will never do that.

If anything, the folks at MADD should embrace this new game. They are in a constant struggle to keep people from driving while drunk. Clearly there are people who just really enjoy that activity. Now they have a safe outlet for that hobby and they can stay in their home and do it. MADD should be raising money to purchase copies of Grand Theft Auto 4 for all the repeat offenders they keep lists about. It's either going to keep them off the roads or give them practice and improve their skill at driving while drunk. Either way it's a step towards fewer booze caused collisions, which was probably the ultimate goal of the video game designers in the first place.

LW

* Mothers Against Having Sex With Then Killing Hookers

There's a road somewhere that ends at a cluster of trees. These trees are the start of a forest. At the very heart of the forest there sits a man. He sits on a chair that has been crudely carved from a tree stump. The tree stump was recently enough chopped down and carved that the chair the man sits in is still alive.

The man sitting in the chair waits in the center of his forest. He waits for the day another man enters his forest and walks until he reaches the man. At the moment the man in the living chair will stand up and kill the man who has entered his forest. This task will be done without sadness or joy it will simply be the action that must be taken. And with this killing the man in the heart of the forest will have repaid his debt to the tree that has become his chair for the man he will have killed will be the man who carved the chair and ensured the short life of the tree.



Everything makes sense from the proper point of view. Everything makes no sense from the proper point of view. Try to see the world from my point of view and if you can manage that will you please explain to me what I'm seeing, because I just don't understand.


So, that happened-
LW

What's resentment all about?

I'm not really even clear on what fits into the category of resentment. Is it an emotion or is it something else?

I know jealousy is different than resentment and jealousy seems pretty straight forward to me. Maybe the cause isn't always clear, the what are you jealous of, but the actual feeling of jealousy seems pretty obvious. I wish I had that.

Blame seems to be a factor in resentment. I don't like this thing and it's a result of this other thing. That's pretty fuzzy. I can't think of a universal example of resentment. Is there an historical figure who is famous for resentment. Has there ever been an international incident that centered around one world leader resenting another? I'm guessing that resentment is one ingredient in an emotional cocktail always rather than being something that stands alone.

I think resentment is on my mind often, it impacts my decision. I'm not operating resentfully. What I do is worry about any choice or action I take leading to resentment.

That was my biggest concern in deciding to make a little person. I didn't want to become a parent and have my life change and develop new limits that I would some day view as having prevented me from something. I see now that those things you worry about before the person arrives and changes everything absolutely do happen and somehow thing are alright anyway because she doesn't care about my problems. At least not yet.

How is that different than an excuse, resentment? There's no way to say I won't resent my child on some level. I'm selfish like that. I hope, though, that I'll recognize it and have some understanding of what it's about.

LW

At the start

of this brief but

long-winded entry

you thought there may

be something of merit here.

Sadly,

you

were wrong.


Love
Levi-

Apparently, the little lady who lives in my house has suddenly fallen in love with the move Annie. Actually, love isn't accurate. She is enthralled with Annie.

She watched some of it last weekend when she had an overnight at Grandma's house and they stayed up till all hours (which means nearly 10am for a 2 year old). The next morning we greeted a little girl who was suddenly singing songs that are meant to represent the orhpan point of view. You leave your kid with someone else for just one night and she acts like she's been abandoned.

Naturally, this led to a NetFlix adjustment and two days later Annie: The Deluxe Edition arrived at my door.

I used to think that movie was hopeful and upbeat. This little girl who's full of moxie keeps a childlike wonder in the world while also having a maturity beyond her age which allows her to cope with being an orphan. She's then taken in by a billionaire who ultimately adopts her and rescues all the other kids at the orphanage to boot. Plus, the billionaire is a republican who sort of gets on board with Roosevelt and the new deal.

Now that i've watched as a nearly 30 year old with a two year old near by I see that it's really a scary movie full of chaos and danger. An alcoholic lady is in charge of a bunch of orphans who she openly loathes. She sleeps with or tries to sleep with every member of any service industry to gain their favor or sometimes just to stem the loneliness that's magnified by her alcoholism. This orphan, Annie, is rented by a billionaire so he can get some good photos to improve his public image. The woman who has essentially the position of wife for the billionaire is pretty much his property and she loves him and does whatever she is told. The drunk and some of her family kidnap Annie and steal money and head to what one has to assume is a secluded place where they can kill Annie so she won't tell anyone about their scheme.

Sure, eventually the confused racist stereotype that is Punjab saves Annie and then everyone dances while watching fireworks, but mostly the movies is horribly dreary.

The little miss seems to see it more as a chance to work on her Fosse leg kicks, but she does seem genuinely worried about whether or not Miss Hannigan is sad.


My ultimate question, though, is should I be worried that my little miss thinks the least memorable never sampled by rappers or electronic musicians song "Let's Go to the Movies" is the best song in the entire movie?

Bye-Bye
Levi-

When asked directly the egret refused to give an answer. It was unclear if the egret was protecting someone or was being stubborn out of spite. What was obvious was that the egret knew where Jake's book was. Or at least knew where they should be looking. Roger asked its name. It said that it was called Jaaw. Jake initially mispronounced it, said Jaw, and the egret corrected him demonstrating how the vowel sound was longer. It said you should be able to feel both vowels in your mouth as the name emerges.

Jaaw didn't always live in the city. He, they learned that Jaaw was male, once lived in a small house in the rural countryside. Jaaw had never lived in the wilderness, though. He wanted them to understand that he was different than those birds that fly from place to place, drink from lakes and rivers, and hunt for food on the ground and in the sky. Jaaw goes to the supermarket like anyone else. Jaaw has four different ESPN stations and he watches all of them. Sometimes all at once. Jaaw tells Roger and Jake that he is a person, just like them. He's not a human and he doesn't want to be. But, though he's a different species, he just wants to live a normal existence the same as anyone would with his same mental capacity.

There are many large birds, Jaaw explains, who think much like a typical human and who live in cities. You have seen them before, but you convince yourself that it was a trick of the mind or a wakeful dream. There's a black swan that lives in Jaaw's same building. A bit pretentious, but otherwise a pretty nice guy.



Jake steers the conversation back to his book. He tells Jaaw about buying it when he was 10 and not knowing that it was more than just a book. It holds the memories of all the people he has loved. And it still holds the memories of the previous owner, though he stopped looking at them when he became an adult. It felt more and more like an intrusion. Jaaw admits that he does know the book. He's seen it and others like it. But he will not say who may have it.


More on this later, perhaps?

Levi