My female friend loves to talk politics and loves to argue politics. She is very bright and independent in thought but fancies herself a republican these days. I personally do not care and I will not argue politics… here is why…

Would you rather have Joe shoot you in the head or Pete shoot you in the head? In both cases you die a horrible death that is exactly the same… so… who do you want? Doesn’t really fucking matter does it… that is my take on current American politics in regards to the TWO PARTY SYSTEM.

I would rather argue about something of substance, like which is better, Tastes Great or Less Filling, or your favorite member of Manuedo… or do you prefer saying Care-rib-be-an or Cuh-rib-be-in…

Don’t care.

As soon as you start ruling out one party or blaming another you are part of the problem and not part of the solution. This is not Wrastlin’ it’s politics and I will not become another cog in this machine.

Dissolve the two party system and then perhaps I will be interested in American politics.

I will give you all this tip; anyone who wants to rule you IS THE ENEMY! Be independent in thought… repeat after me, be independent in thought! :o)

“Patriotism is a virtue of the vicious.” -- Wilde

Not now… You have to be fucking kidding me… am I dying?

As soon as things in my life pick up, something negative happens to me. It is like fucking clockwork.

I have my future fucking outlined! I have my BA all set up to finish and I know what I want my Masters in and the three main schools that I’m considering (two of which are direct sister universities of my university). I know where I want to be, with whom, I have good -- possibly very good to great -- punk and acoustic songs written that just need to be recorded. Everything is set up and I just have to knock the pins down… and this…

I awake to find my eyes half swollen shut. I’m not sicker but I’m not better by any means. The first sign of a fever or if my neck swells or signs in respiration -- ER!

Are you telling me I survived spending two years rehabbing my heart because I had myocarditis which kills 70% of people who get it in the first 24 hours… I survived that for six months…

I survived being bed ridden for a solid year + of my life rehabbing a broken back so I could learn to walk again and then walk and run without a cane…

Staggering into an ER and collapsing as I could not breath as I fight a diabetic coma from undiagnosed diabetes which has me in ketoacidosis…

I survived waking up in intensive care on life support with a sobbing wife after some junkie caved in the back of my head with a pipe and then kicked my ribs until they broke, collapsed, and punctured my left lung…

I survived rolling car wrecks, a hole in my left ventricle (heart valve), two cardiac catheterizations, undiagnosed (at the time) years of hypothyroidism, iron against my head, being shot at, being stabbed, sleeping with a woman 15 years ago who lied to me and had HIV and hep and I contracted nothing (I check every year anyway), having guns pulled on me more times than you would believe, etc… all of this to die of a fucking rash? I don’t think so!

No… I refuse to fucking die of this. An ignominious death just isn’t me! I survived shit that kills everyone else… it is going to take something more than this. Or perhaps that is the irony of life… I survive the fucking impossible ten fold to die of a lowly rash from some sort of minor ailment… that would be funny!

Then again it could be rabies. Rabies has atypical/unspecific symptoms. It all started after contact with wild squirrels. Perhaps…

I do not know but if I do die I would prefer it to be with my hands either wrapped around the woman I love with my ferrets cuddling with me or wrapped around an enemies throat watching the light in their eyes dim before I fade to black.

If you are religious, please include me in your prayers… it cannot hurt. “Prayer… the last refuge of the scoundrel.” Is that Wilde?

“Close your eyes. Look deep in your soul. Step outside yourself and let your thoughts go. Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die.” Slayer - “Seasons in the Abyss”

“Death is but the absence of all feeling.” -- Epicuris

“There is a reaper whose name is death and with his sickle is mighty keen. He reaps the bearded grain at a breath and the flowers that grow between” -- Longfellow

Man, I felt better for a day! Then it hits me back with a fucking vengeance! My doctor is on vacation and there is no doctor covering his practice! So I can wait this out or go to the ER and since it is not an emergency… I wait.

The steroids did slap this ailment down but the ailment has adapted. I will be increasing the steroid level and I will see if this ailment can combat that! It should concede but the ailment is just alive. It is not alive in a conscious sense… like our 43^rd president.

Speaking of W; I find it far more amazing that America had a legally retarded president than the fact that we have a brown (or whatever) one.

I was reading an article by Lazlo Polgar on social development and it had some reference pages that showed chimpanzees and all I could see were furry little W’s walking around.

One of the baby squirrels that was outside is still alive and is doing well so far. The ones that died were ill and doomed but that one ran away, I assume because it was well, and has stayed well -- so at least the bloodline is continuing. That makes me feel a tad better.

My University had me fill out more paperwork for my financial aid and student loans. Fuck me… I should just include a full biography and stool sample before they ask for that!

If my University asks for more information I am including a copy of Kafka’s “The Trial” with my next submission! Fuck me I am an honors program supplicant, not a screw up or applicant!

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” -- Plato

Laterz

I took a nap and awoke 830 at night listening to a show on the Mayan calendar on the History Channel.

That is the new trend, the new thing, isn’t it? If you do not know… and you probably do… but regardless, the world is supposed to end on December 21^st 2012... Which really sucks because my birthday is on the 23^rd!

I’m going to ask a Mayan what they think about this revelation that the world is going to end… Oh, wait. They’re culture is extinct! Well, they were such good prognosticators that they didn’t see their own end coming. Perhaps they got their calendar from a bank.

I have heard on TV and, sadly, in person that the Mayan’s are not with us because they were so advanced they went into outer space.

Have you heard any of these nutters? The Mayans and the Egyptians were so advanced that they went into outer space! How else could they have built the pyramids without the help of extra-terrestrials?

Well, all I have to say to that theory is; are you fucking nuts? It seems that this theory is predicated on the fact that space aliens REALLY like big rocks! I mean they didn’t build anything out of aluminum or a nuclear reactor BUT Space aliens LOVE large fucking rocks! Their furniture must suck!

Look. The pyramids are amazing and humans are similar in design, so similar in thought. As human civilizations began to grow, even though independent of each other, they became similar as they evolved in a similar fashion. It’s kinda like how the German’s like David Hasselhoff or explaining the cultural phenomenon of the Rubik’s Cube. It’s more sad than phenomenal… like how ABBA was so huge in the USA even though we all aren’t blonde socialist.

I have always seen these fringe weirdo’s on the tube talking about how it is impossible to build the pyramids in ancient times. Well evidently not. They did it.

It is just a natural human thing to be mystified by what we cannot understand. It’s ubiquitous. Anyone can buy a ten cent pamphlet on magic tricks and amaze or at least confuse even your friends with a deck of cards with minimal effort. It’s no big deal. We are easy to trick, foolish creatures, that look for complexity in the simple and try to make simple the complex.

Let me ask you this; how does your computer work. Do you know? Can you build one? Probably not and even if you could you could not fashion the materials needed to make one but you have one right fucking in front of you. I don’t know how it works… do you?

I mean, do you really understand the math behind it? If I give you a chalk board can you write out the mathematic formula by which energy converts into pixels on a screen? Neither can I. But it’s right fucking here.

Do you know how to put a person on the moon? Me either but it was done… see, we NO longer need to know how to drag large fucking rocks around so we lost the technology and it amazes us today… which is great!

Now if everyone dies and someone comes across a laptop… just one surviving laptop… what will they make of it? Yeah, you see where I’m going. You thought it before, it isn’t original but some people NEED to make the world more mystifying -- and oddly in some cases far less mystifying -- than it is!

I mean, you can tell the Irish and Scottish built Stonehenge. They were hammered, got some rocks and as they were sobering up they said… “Ah fuck it… Just stack them anywhere! Try to make a circle or my wife will be pissed!”

We live, we die… that’s all folks!!! So have fun on the trip, I guess.

I am feeling better. I started taking those steroids -- because what I REALLY NEED is MORE steroids -- and the rash is dissipating and I feel a bit better.

These new steroids really give me a sense of well being! I may ask to stay on these fuckers! Well, time to piss off and start my night. I hope you all had a good Memorial Day weekend.
 

“Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” -- Shakespeare (I have to look that line up because I always use it and I think I am paraphrasing it! And you do NOT want to misquote SHAKESPEARE!)

ps-Shakespeare was IRISH. :o)

Laterz

Well, I called a doctor. I feel a bit sick and I am sicker in general. If this thing wasn’t affecting my fat gut I wouldn’t bother. :o)

No, the rash really needs to be checked out. I assume it’s nothing. After all I just took this pic with my camera… now does that LOOK WEAK!?

Me big strong man! Me no get sick!

What else is there to type about while I wait for my doctors call…

There was an Earthquake in L.A.. It didn’t do any damage… it actually did two thousand dollars in improvements. Be careful with that joke, it’s an antique.

Oh, I saw Dane Cook on TV doing his stand-up act. Evidently there is a large following of fans of his and a large number or people who think he sucks. I never really saw his work or “work” but I don’t think the problem is that he sucks… it is that he just isn’t THAT funny.

We all have a friend who is THAT funny! So it is the level of success meets the person’s ability. His level of success is MUCH higher than his fucking ability!

Madonna is getting married again… why even bother addressing this? I always thought she was ugly. I never thought she had any talent. ’Nough said.

I saw Paris Hilton on some TV show as I was falling asleep. Now let me make this clear. This is a fact people. If she did NOT have any money she would NOT be in the public eye… I think we can all agree on that.

She doesn’t have any talent and I will go one step further… she isn’t that pretty. She is not ugly but if no one knew who she was, she would simply be another dumb, blond skank.

Paris is NOT a head turner. I was lucky enough in my life to be with a few head turners and let me tell you… they are rare, I have been LUCKY. Lord knows it is not my looks.

I was with one woman in the mid to late 90’s… what was her name… Sonya! That’s it. And she was a head turner. Any room she walked into… every man’s head turned. It had to. If he was hetero, the head followed because of her beauty, if the man was gay, it followed to see how she accessorized. :o)

She was a natural beauty and I enjoyed showing her off in public and having every man and woman looking at me wondering what the fuck I did to be with this woman.

Now if I or anyone I know acceptable looking walked into a place right now with Paris Hilton -- under the hypothetical that no one knew who Paris was, that she never achieved fame -- not one head would turn. No one would be going… “Who is THAT! And what is she doing with HIM!?”

Everyone would just think “Oh he’s got himself a skinny, blond, skank that is ok looking.”

People of the world just need to accept this. And someone please convince Paris to shoot herself or O.D.. Fuck me… won’t she just die?! And, preferably, leave her money to some proper charity.

Idiots need idols as vacant as they are, I guess.

My doctor just called.  He wants me in ASAP.  I will be fine... best to get the meds, assuming there are meds.

Besides, I am too strong and ugly to kill!

Fuck me I am sick. It all started a few days ago with this massive rash on my calves. Mostly on my calves anyway… then that dissipated mostly and I have stiff and somewhat swollen hands.

Fucking weird. No fever though.

My doctor is on vacation, of course, so I am just waiting this thing out. At the first sign of fever -- ER. But by then it will probably be too late. So I’m just hoping for the better.

If I do die, I will tell you this; life is alright but I wouldn’t recommend it.

“Regrets, I have a few, but then again TOO MANY to mention!”

So I go out Friday afternoon. I need to relax so I head to a local bar with the intention of having one or two beers and shooting some pool. Not a big deal… just nice and relaxing.

Now I need to relax because I lost both of my baby squirrels. I am not making an excuse to go out and drink… I mean fuck me I only drank a beer and a half AKA not drinking.

I bump into this guy and after some discussion I realize that he is someone I grew up with. Well we shoot some pool and talk and then it comes up that he has some grass.

Now I haven’t smoked weed in almost three months. I could use the relaxation. So he rolls a joint and I smoke half with him.

Now he was bragging, as every pothead does, about how good his weed is. Now usually this is not true. In his case it was probably true but I will never know. I will explain…

There was something in that grass. Something not good. A heavier drug. I walked back into the bar and five minutes later I am tripping. I mean TRIPPING.

I walk over to my table and think to myself… ok, you just smoked lord knows what… just hang on and try to enjoy the ride! I get hit with the usual crap… paranoia sets in. A warm sensation flows through my chest. I feel people staring but I know they aren’t.

I get a grip on myself and look at my phone. It was around 5:30. I think ok… you know you are tripping, some asshole gave you grass with something in it to make his grass seem better and you are fucked up. But the one advantage you have is knowing you are fucked up and knowing that your reality is distorted.

Now I have to ride out this nightmare. I went to the bar alone so I have no friends I can confide in that I’m tripping balls and it’s a fucking bad trip! I just smoke grass now and then. I don’t trip so any trip is going to be bad.

I had every weird ass nightmare scenario flash before my eyes right there at that table. It is like being a young child watching a horror movie or being in a “Haunted House.” You KNOW the shit isn’t real but you still feel anxiety. Will power got me through that ride and that is a ride I do NOT want to take again… ever.

I had to spend an hour and a half at that table before the drug dissipated enough for me to leave the bar.

Then as I am walking home I order a pizza for pick up. I’m so fucked up I forget that I’M WALKING! Now I have to carry a hot pizza home with me too!

Then I get into the house, set the pizza down and hit the bathroom. The chain inside the tank breaks and I have to repair that while fucked up. I mean this was like an “I Love Lucy” skit with Lucy stoned and still partially tripping.

I am trying to attach a string to the broken section of the chain and the chain gets stuck in my hand, as in punctured through my hand. Then my father comes downstairs to have a chat while I am on my knees in the bathroom tethered to a toilet from the flushing chain.

Yeah… it was NOT the relaxing time I had in mind. I mean don’t fuck with weed! You cannot make it better. It is weed… it does what it does. I just want the weed man! But now and then some fucking dick has to have some spiked shit man.

“Sometimes I feel so all alone. Everybody must get stoned!”

One baby squirrel dead and buried… another on the way. They needed their mother. Not for sustenance but for something far more ethereal and yet concrete. For lack of a better word -- love.

I walked onto the back porch last night to see the healthier squirrel clutching his effectively dead sibling. Holding it in a manner that any person would see as beyond humane.

I’m pissed at my species, sure. But squirrel death is not the reason… only a reminder.

The greatest narcissism “humans” ever pulled out of their ass is “human being” or the translation, “a being that is humane.” We are not animals you see… “man and animal.”

Stop kidding yourself. We are a wretched species of animal. We are the ultimate predator. The ultimate killing machine. We can now kill not only each other but a whole planet several times over because of ideology or greed or hate or for shits and giggles.

I have never felt disconnected from nature. Well when I was ten to fifteen or so I loved hunting but that is part of a human’s natural growth. To hunt, to kill. I never felt that separation of “man” and “animal.”

Yes, life feeds on life and that is nature but we humans are an aberration. If you cannot see the error of our ways then there is no need for me to explain it to you. You just cannot see, as most people cannot.

If there was a viral agent that only killed people I would not want control over it. It would be too tempting to end this freak-show for everyone. For every person.

I honestly hope humankind evolves into something that is worth the constant holocaust that we inflict on ourselves and everything else we come into contact with. Right now life is just a joke that has a real shitty punch-line… the end of everything. You suffer and then you experience nothing, not even the ability to recollect your own suffering.

The Buddhists are correct. Life is suffering. The Buddhist syllogism basically breaks down like this; to live is to desire, to desire is to suffer, so to live is to suffer.

I live in a world full of people who are not truly conscious. I live in a world of people to whom the unexamined life is a virtue. I life in a world of petty hate. I live in a world that has no meaning. If I only could, I would set this world on fire.

I honestly contemplate grabbing a bagful of shit and just moving into the woods and living off of vegetation. I am not a part of this society. I am not interested in what “star” is banging what other “star” or how to get a firmer ass in just ten minutes a day.

I do not care about what shit band is on the charts. I do not care about most people on this planet or anything having to do with them. I do not care if I contribute to this “society.” And I pity people who have been brainwashed into thinking that contributing, being a cog in this broken machine, has any value or merit.

I honestly hope human aspirations of peace and equality are realized. I hope animal liberation becomes a truth and the world lives in a true communal state of utopia but there is a much better chance that monkeys will fly out of my ass.

I gave up on humankind a long time ago. So I am going to piss off and if Christ comes back… someone wake me. I have a lot of pissed off questions.

My quote… just listen to, “Let’s Have a War” by Fear or “Aenema” by Tool. That just about sums it up.

I have been away because I am, amongst other things, nursing two baby squirrels. Their mother was hit by a car and they became so hungry that they wandered out of their nest and started walking around my yard.

So I thought… what should I do? I gathered two of the four and have been feeding them. One is dying from some ailment that I believe is genetic but the other seems healthy.

I have not been able to find the other two infant squirrels and hope for the best but they may have been eaten by predators.

I cannot take the sick squirrel to the vet because here all the vet will do is euthanize the squirrel and then check it for rabies. So I can only hope my prediction is wrong and the squirrel pulls through -- which I doubt.

It is a very sad situation. Bucky, the healthy squirrel, sits on top of a blanket that was put in his cage and clutches it like it is his mother. He is very sad and frightened. Satch is the dying squirrel and what more can be said.

I have to take extreme precautions to avoid spreading contagion from the squirrels to my ferrets -- in case it is viral or bacterial. I am also aware that I am putting myself in danger, as if this is airborne, I could contract the ailment and die myself but I have to try to help these baby squirrels.

Human encroachment is far too detrimental to any and every species. I cannot believe in my youth I was an avid hunter. That is a “Clockwork Orange” time in my life. Read the novel by the way. The film has little to do with the novel in which Burgess explains that something can appear organic (as in an Orange) and still be mechanical and not sentient (as in Clock Work). Great analogy, amazing author.

So I am raising the squirrels and if they live I will have to decide if they will be better suited for the woods or as house pets, if they cannot adapt to the wild.

They are quite gorgeous creatures. I hope they survive.

“It would seem to be more natural for their to be nothing than for their to be something.” -- Ionesco on the topic of nature

I wake-up and brush my teeth. As I am doing this I look in the mirror and think to myself, “I am two or three tattoos away from looking like Deniro in Cape fear.”

It could be worse… I could be one of those guys who wears five gold chains and a pinky ring. What do they call those guys… Persians! Yeah, that’s it!

So I go to Radio Shack and it takes 3 guys an hour to set up my new cell phone. So to answer that age old question; “How many morons does it take to set up a cell phone?” The answer is three.

I’m not setting it up! I don’t work there. It’s not my friggin’ vocation! Speaking of vocations; my financial aid went through so I am all set for the fall semester in MCLA’s sociology department. Because when you think me, you think of helping others.

I am not about to pay for college! Let them try to get that student loan money back! Besides, I think it is only a white lie to put my ethnic background down as Eskimo.

So I set up my new cell phone and it was the next to best one they had. They have a Blackberry iPod type touch screen thing for two hundred more that plays mp3’s and crap but I didn’t need that… or I thought I didn’t. I show my new phone to my buddy Dave and he whips out his new cell phone and says, “Ok, call me and I will put your new number in.”

He has a new phone! The bastard! Now I want that other phone just to one up him for once! Then we drove to Dunkin Donuts for coffee -- I am addicted to their iced coffee and Dave gets a HOT coffee in almost 70 degree weather! That boy ain’t right!

By the way; is their anything worse than two divorced, middle-aged men driving to get in a sports car to get coffee? Doesn’t that sound like the premise of a sit-com?

We are bitching about everything! I think the next phase is us sitting on a porch yelling at kids to get off our lawn!

Well, time to piss off and start my day.

“I think people should mate for life like pigeons… or Catholics.” -- Woody Allen

Oh... this is a creative writing exercise and has NO basis in reality!  I mean if it were true... I may be questioned by "authorities!"  :o)

I pick up my date Saturday and go to see “X-men Origins: Wolverine.” It was not a good film. It was aimed at a younger demographic and they did everything humanly possible to keep this film in the PG to PG-13 range.

They had a lot of violence and death in this film but it had to be sugar coated and the death scenes always had a money shot of the killers face scowling or growling -- usually in slow motion, as that looks cooler, right?

This was done as opposed to seeing a grizzly death via sword impalement or such. The worst part of violence of this type is that it is obviously being marketed to children.

If you take a child and show it holocaust footage -- real footage -- the child will puke but show a cool “hero” offing a hundred people in a cool, bloodless fashion and the desensitizing starts.

But I digress; the film started out strong and humorous and then it’s descent into darkness was hindered by it’s attempt to appeal to children.

So my date walks up to the refreshment counter and buys a soda. She asks for a large and the lady behind the counter says, “Four Dollars.” To which I reply, “For a dollar more I can buy the soda company.”

Now I find this hilarious but my date doesn’t. Also, we went to McDonalds as she wanted a soft serve ice cream. They had a hand written sign on the drive-thru that read, “We are not taking credit cards today.”

Now I found this hysterical! Who the buys a cheese burger with an Amex Card? Who is paying 10% on a Big Mac? So I have to yell out, “Do you take discover?” “What about checks… do you take checks?”

Now I know this is sophomoric behavior but I find it humorous. Life is just too absurd.

In the theatre you can tell it is a comic book film as there are several unaccompanied men. Sure, some people like to see a film by themselves but there were a few guys that looked like they belong alone in a theatre watching a comic book film!

The first guy is the overly lanky “Revenge Of The Nerds” type wearing a powder blue shirt and plaid trousers. He is wearing clothing from the 70’s and not intentionally going for the ironic look.

One of the other guys I see has this look on his face like he wants to blurt out, “They call me Psycho! And if you stare at me I will stab, stab, stab ya’!”

Every guy in the theatre alone looked like he couldn’t get laid in a woman’s prison with a fistful of pardons.

I was watching, “Let’s Go To Prison” on Comedy Central and that was pretty good -- aside from the ending, which always sucks in comedies.

Corrections Officers (CO’s) are always depicted as hard asses that love to push inmates around. CO’s are usually pretty level headed in reality. They are pulling life and if a con is doing a nickel the CO is doing that time with that con.

The last thing a CO wants to do is push a con too far. You have to remember that these fuckers are career criminals and they will get out and fuck a CO up. I had a minor gripe with one CO who locked me in for telling him to go fuck himself.

I immediately asked the other cons about him and I got more info than I thought would be hanging around in the GP (general population). I got a town and his favorite bar. I had no further issues with that CO so the information I got was not required.

But the CO’s know that you can find out about them so they will not fuck with you. I actually had one CO who did not usually work my POD (a POD is a small cell block, three PODs comprise a cell block). He was cool, tough and obviously ex-military.

He didn’t care about rules, hated almost every inmate and seemed to want to take a flame thrower to BCHC (Berkshire County House of Corrections), which gave us a lot in common. He took me over to the control station and he and I played on the computer; looking at other cons files and such. I liked him and I think he liked me but he could not show favoritism in front of the cons for both of our sakes.

I mean, you are not supposed to log into the jails mainframe computer and go over the prisoners with an inmate. I liked that guy.

Another CO I got along with, more or less, went so far as to walk into my cell after I was sent to segregation for disciplinary reasons (someone wanted to fight me, they made a mistake) and he told me, “Hilliard, don’t become one of these fucking idiots. You have a lot going for you. You seem like a bright, good guy so just ignore these morons, they are going to be in and out of jail their whole lives. This is it for them.”

I thanked him for the talk even though he wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know. But he stuck his neck out giving me that talk because he knew the next two cells could hear him through the ventilation system. The cons run the jail… do not be fooled into thinking otherwise.

The one thing that they got right in the film, “Let’s Go To Prison” was isolation or A-Pod Segregation AKA the hole. It is only isolation but you do lose your shit in there. The boredom and violence of the GP seems GREAT compared to being locked in 23 and a half hours a day and heading to the shower in shackles.

They come to your cell and make you shackle up before you can shower! What a bitch! I mean that sucks!

I say a guy come into our POD after pulling 120 days in isolation and he was talking to himself! This kid was no older than 25 and he was fucking gone! He laughed to himself now and then so at least whatever he was hearing or talking to was funny now and then.

When they do come for you, they come hard. They were sending me to isolation AGAIN and they came with four men in a standard two by two stacked formation. The front two had assault shields and they all had riot gear! What the fuck?! Am I a fucking Ninja? I think they just enjoy putting the gear on! I complied. I saw a brother go hard and that was a riot but there was no reason for me to. I was only pulling 28 and 1/2 days.

Jail is actually not bad. I mean I wouldn’t pick it as a vacation destination but I can’t say it is that bad! If you don’t mind fighting and reading… it’s not bad at all.

I mostly played poker for commissary money. That is the best way to kill time. Chess is fun too. You have some cons that are damn good chess players because that’s all they have to do.

If I am ever looking at anything under a year, I’ll pull it. Why not? You get to lift weights, play poker, etc. Sure you are locked in your cell 16 hours a day in the POD and you have five or six standing counts but that is just the boredom of the routine -- or the routine of the boredom.

I awoke everyday before it was time to shower (around 7am in my POD) and as soon as they popped the cells I always was the first one out with his change of clothes and shower stuff. The shower was my favorite part of the day. I showered two or three times a day there, as I do anywhere, as I like to be clean. I cannot say the same for the other cons.

I know I wrote this before but everyone is fixated with prison sex (or rape, as it is called by most inmates). But it doesn’t happen often. There are enough jail-house queers and unlike the films, most men do not want to have sex with other men.

They do not allow pornography though. I mean they won’t even allow car magazines with scantly clad women! There are some mixed signals being sent there!

Well, time to piss off and start my day.

“I dream my paintings and paint my dreams” -- Van Gogh

“Quick man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!”

Oh man… I was watching “Larry King” and they had on Ann Coulter (spelling?) and will this bitch ever shut up?

Do not get me wrong. We have freedom of speech -- more or less -- in this nation and I am honestly willing to fight and die for that right… even for Ann Coulter’s right.

By that same token, I have the right to speak and tell the truth as I see it. So someone shut Ann Coulter the fuck up! :o) I would go on about her opinions but where to begin! It is much easier to write that if she fell off of the face of the Earth the world would immediately become a better place.

Ms. California is continuing her anti-gay campaign with an anti-gay marriage ad. She doesn’t believe in gay marriage because it is not God’s will and is not natural.

Ms. California has LARGE breast implants and hair dyed blonde. I guess gay marriage is not natural but big plastic tittys are. I guess it is not “natural” for two people of the same gender to marry but it is natural to change the hair color GOD gave you!

I love watching Ms. California walk around in that frilly white bikini showing off everything except nipples, vagina, and complete ass crack. That is SoOoOooo religious!

She is a very attractive woman that I would LOVE to fuck but I would not listen to this dim-witted bimbo speak unless my choices were hearing her speak or a firing squad. If I was guaranteed a night of sex I think I could nod my way through dinner but she is not getting a call back. And that is saying a lot because she is gorgeous… but only physically.

When is everyone going to just be honest and call it/make it a pure “beauty pageant.” If I want to see the “talent” part AKA some bimbo tossing a baton or singing a cliché song almost acceptably, I will go to a Jr. High School.

These Ms. - Mr. Universe, America, World, etc. They are all based on beauty and people will argue “oh, no they aren’t… they are based on personality, talent and values.” Yeah? Then lets see a 300lb Miss America contestant… not even winner but contestant! Most American’s are obese… let’s get a proper representative.

Remember when they became so PC that they cut out the bikini portion of the program? Too funny. Ratings plummeted and they brought it back. The almighty dollar, the true God of many.

The best part is; Most people who defend these pageants are against pornography! Pornography is honest! Here is a woman you want to look at and she is nude! Oh no! A nude woman! Put these shoe laces over her tits and ass crack and THEN it is ok!

Well time for me to piss off and get some crap done before I go out for the day.

Best!

“I cannot define pornography but I know it when I see it” -- A Supreme Court Justice from the 70’s … I forget who.