i finally got a  dagum job :D
gonna be a nanny

hot damn :]] i'm so excited! waaay funner than starbucks or petsmart :D

baaaah!!!!

found this online.

1. Wrote 4 blog posts. – I usually only have time to write 2 articles a week.
2. Made it to the gym 5 times. – I went Monday through Friday for about 45 minutes, hitting every major muscle group.
3. Increased household communication. – TV kills the flow of household communication.  We both noticed that we had a lot more time to talk.
4. Read a novel cover to cover. – I read the short novel "Siddhartha.." by Herman Hesse.  It's a powerful story about the importance of life experiences as they relate to approaching an understanding of reality and attaining enlightenment.  I highly recommend it.
5. Caught up on current events twice as fast. – I typically waste a good hour everyday watching CNN.  This week I grabbed my news off the web.  It took me significantly less time to scan CNN.com.
6. Enhanced focus on everything. – TV is a huge distraction, even when you hear it from the other room.  It's so much easier to concentrate when you don't have a TV yapping at you.  I had no idea how much if affected my ability to concentrate until it was gone.
7. Learned a few new skills. – I took my own advice and learned how to change the oil in my truck… pretty darn easy.
8. Spent more time with friends and family. – We invited Angel's sister and some friends over for a mid-week dinner party.
9. Cleaned the house. – Something Angel and I habitually evade by watching TV instead.
10. Learned new recipes and prepared 5 home cooked meals. – We cooked large portions so we could have leftovers for lunch every day.
11. Spent more time enjoying simple pleasures. – Deep conversations, long walks, telling jokes, etc.
12. Finally trimmed the hedges in our front yard. – I always put this off because I am tired after mowing the lawn.  This time, however, I did it on a totally separate evening.  It only took me 30 minutes.
13. Cleaned out the garage and sold 2 old dehumidifiers on eBay. – We setup a 5-day eBay auction and got $65 for each one of them!
14. Took 2 evening strolls around a local park. – We hadn't been to this park in years… there's only 1 reason why.
15. Saved money on our electric bill. – Our power company's website allows you to check your daily usage.  Sure enough, less TV equals less electricity usage.
16. Burned more calories. – We were off the couch moving around.
17. Backed-up critical files on both of our laptops. – Transferred them all over to our Iomega 500 GB external drive...
18. I played my guitar. – …for the first time in a year.  I'm hooked again!
19. Found 2 news bands I like. – I used online music comparison services to find 2 awesome bands with similar music styles to my favorite band, Counting Crows.
20. Listened to more music. – In addition to finding new bands, I had more time to listen to my favorite music.
21. We stargazed in our backyard. – …for the first time since Angel and I first started dating.  It was blissful.
22. Caught up on times with an old friend. – I hadn't spoken to my buddy Jon since my wedding a year and a half ago.  We had a pleasant 30 minute conversation on the phone.
23. Handled basic household maintenance. – Replaced the AC filter, applied pest control spay, replaced fire alarm batteries, etc.
24. Took Angel out on a romantic date. – I took her to one of our favorite Italian restaurants and then out to a local pub where we slow danced to a live music.
25. Finished up a little DIY project. – I've been stalling on staining, sanding and hanging a certain wooden shelf for nearly 6 months.
26. Updated the photo frames throughout the house. – Sometimes it's nice to mix things up.  We spent some time sorting through our digital photos and replaced a few photos in various photo frames throughout the house.
27. Played racquetball. – Great 2-person sport!
28. Organized my monthly planner. – Entered all my known commitments into my planner and did a little time planning each night.
29. Reviewed our long-term goals. – Angel and I had an open discussion last Tuesday night about our goals for the next 3 – 5 years.
30. Setup recurring automatic payments for most of our bills. – Now our electricity, phone, insurance and cable bills are automatically withdrawn from our account each month.  This basically buys me 30 additional minutes of free time every month.
31. Updated my resume. – It only took me 45 minutes.
32. Quiet relaxation. – Instead of clicking on the TV, I spent some quiet time gathering my thoughts each day when I returned home from work.
33. Intelligent conversations at suppertime. – Quite frequently we eat supper in front of the TV.  Since there was no TV watching this week, Angel and I had some really interesting conversations instead.
34. Hit it off with our new neighbors.  – We spent more time outside and ended up running into our new neighbors.  They seem like pretty cool people.  There's certainly the potential for friendship here.
35. Exchanged back massages. – It sure beats canned laughter.
36. There was more time for "quality time". – You know… just me and her and some classical music in the background.
37. More real life experiences. – Because we were off of the couch, actually doing something.
38. Watched 1 quality movie. – Instead of watching whatever was on, we went to Blockbuster and selected 1 quality movie to rent.
39. Ironed my clothes each weeknight before bedtime. – …since I had more free time in the evenings.  It made my mornings less stressful.
40. We got more done. – Because we had so much more time to do it all.

thank you. thank you for always feeling more than free to graphically illustrate how i am a complete failure. thanks for being the friend that never sugar coated anything or was ever there for me about how i felt, but always on account of how you felt about it or me at the time. thanks from coming to visit me in maine, it was suuuper great to show you where i grew up. thanks for coming to maine and making me cry every single day. you have shown me that i am not perfect for anyone in this entire world except you, and you did that by telling me how shitty i am in life and how shitty i am for not seeing all the wonderfully shitty attributes that make y o u . we were on a spectacular mental field and you spent the whole night into the next morning attempting to brainwash me into some creature you think you might see me being. i'm so fucking sorry that i didn't call you for an entire month, and i'm sorry that all the ways in my life that i'm fucking up are the excuse for you not doing the same. thanks for the money you let me borrow when i really needed it, and thanks for throwing in my face that i haven't been able to find a job that gives me the hours i need to take care of myself and pay you back in time for you to not insult and criticise me.

all you have ever done was bring me down or try to pull me up towards you. you are a strong man, i know it. you have a heart of gold for someone out there- i know you do.
but you make me feel like absolute shit.

ever see 'as good as it gets'?

FUCK YOU

there's a lot of things i could say, a lot of things i could get out without using internet. i could make my feelings a little bit more personal. i think i would rather type them though.
it's 5:15 in the morning, i can't get off this beast. i see so many faces of people i knew and know and i think that i've let myself let them go. i feel like a stranger to myself sometimes, i'm just drifting in and out of minutes and hours. floating along in some pointless scheme for this dreamer to seek a reality.
trying to find freedom in what's concrete. wanting to fly through the thick air of a dirty sky. i'm probably just an idiot.

i wish i was 5 years old again. i wish i could go back and not let old ways cling to me like some sort of parasite. to actual let myself be this person that i know i am, or that i believe i am. i know what anyone would say in any of the circumstances and the answer is surely no 75% of the time.
i have a good life, i have to get these things out sometimes though. there is nothing wrong, this is just how i feel.

we'll have to overcome the gap then maybe we can get ourselves back.

what the fuck am i saying.
this couldn't be english.

Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
good friend


How did you and your number 1 become friends?
that's animal collective, and we've never met,
but as far as real people go, chris and i met at an after school jig of sorts



What do you really think of Starbucks Coffee?
i worked there for 6 months, i like it enough to spend 4 fucking dollars on it i suppose.




What were you doing last night?
um
i made CHRISTMAS cards with momma.


How do you feel about smoking?
i enjoy it most of the time.
both sides of that equation.

Are you a jealous person?
yea unfortunately i am :[



Have you ever told someone to their face they were ugly?
not ever seriously





Where is your phone?
to my left



Are you jealous of your siblings?
no, i'm happy for her



Who's your last text from?
will turner,
the butt pirate




When is your birthday?
may 28




Last time you felt bad about something?
for chris' dog int the car.


Is there any drug you take everyday?
nicotine and caffeine everyday. 


Do you go tanning?
nahh

If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?
nooo thanks :]


How did you and your number 2 become friends?
well, funny story. chris is number 2, but this goes back to the number one thing i guess. well, the second actual human on my friends list was there when i exited the womb.
so that's how we uh...are friends.


Did you ever lose a friend?
mhm. but not really :]




What are you doing right now?
filling this out trying to stay awake.




Biggest annoyance right now?
i should probably sleep for a little bit.



Have you spoken to your mother today?
:[


When's the last time you talked to your siblings?
days ago? maybe a week?



Do you have any tattoos?
-elephant on my right shoulder
-bumble bee behind my left ear
-ohm on my left wrist
-state of maine outline on my left side hip area place..




Do you drink water?
yea, not so much





Are you too forgiving?
i'unno.






Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
perhaps.



Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
yea i do.


What was the last thing you cried about?
from laughing :D




What color is your underwear right now?
underwear? seriously?




What is your phone number?
uh. yea


What was the last thing you ate?
gyro wrap :]]


If you were a crayon what color would you be?
orange


How is the weather right now?
cold.



Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
christopher


Favorite type of Food?
piiiizza!!!



What color are your eyes?
'doodoo explosions'


Do you wear contacts?
neine




Favorite Month?
mouth? oh month. june.


Ever cried for no reason?
sure



Last Movie you watched?
natural born killers



Favorite day of the week?
friday or saturday


Are you too shy to ask someone out?
depends


Hugs or Kisses?
both at the same time



Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla face!




What books are you reading?
:[



Have you ever fired a gun?
yessah. a 22 gauge or something

Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?
eh
the novelty has worn off some. haha



How many pillows do you sleep with?
7 total but like 2 behind me. maybe 3.


Name 5 people who you talked to today?
christopher

melissa

menena

paul

strangers

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleepin for real

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
pooping
just kidding, getting ready for bed


What is your favorite board game?
the one where i win :]


What is the last thing you yelled aloud?
yelled? uhmm oh! at this guy at the mall driving like dick. think i said something like 'that dick wont do that for a long time' after some sort of threat.


Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
yea TONS of them. i bought clothing items for everyone



What's the last sporting event you watched?
pffrggt baseball at ruby tuesday or somethin


If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
argentina. AFRICA!!

'cause i've been down to dixie and dopped acid on my tongue
tripped upon the land until enough was enough
i was a little bit lighter and adventure on my sleeve
i was a little drunk and looking for company
so i found myself a sweetheart with the softest of hands
we were unlucky in love but i'd do it all again