Greetings on this Sunday morning. It's a crisp autumn day, and there's work to be done. I spent some time in prayer and meditation, thinking about the "F" word. Faith is the blessing, peace and struggle. We live in faith in the natural, we're puzzled by it spiritually, and often falter when things don't go our way.

My friend Lynn has a message at the heading of all of her emails, it reads: "Never think that God's delays are God's denials." I'm reminded of a sermon that really blessed me; the Pastor said that sometimes you have to wait for your blessing, sometimes the answer is not yet, you have to wait, or there is something much better in store. I'm in a holding pattern right now. I have to remain ever faithful, and remember the scriptures that say: "Without faith, it's impossible to please God.  Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. Whatever you desire, when you pray, believe you will receive it and you will have it." So how can we go wrong as long as we have the same trust in the spirit, as we have in our everyday lives. Rest in the Lord wait patiently for Him, and He will give thee thy heart's desires.

I heard a message a while back; about spending an hour with God each day, and seeing your life change. As I walked home I thought about how much time did I spend with the Lord. Did I offer intercessory prayers for others? Did I preface my own concerns and needs, and desires with thanksgiving? Did I spend an hour, or did I rush because I had other things to do? At times I have to say that I've missed the mark on occasion. I'm thankful each day to try to get it right, I'm thankful, and blessed to be a blessing each day.

Walk in love, joy, and faith, know that a tiny grain of mustard seed faith, can move mountains, and your victory is within your grasp.

It's been quiet lately, things have indeed changed since I got my SAG card nine years ago. At the time, I was fresh, a new face, booking speaking parts, and background work left and right. Some of you can relate. One day I would call a casting office, and be put on hold for a little while, then a job would be offered for the next day. Most times my cell would ring off the hook with work. I know times are hard all over, but this has occured over the past few years. Perhaps it's the age thing, but I see casting calls that once called for a Big Black Woman with Attitude. Mind you, I didn't mind, we all fit a certain "type" in this business, however lately other ethnic types are being sought out. Now I've been replaced by younger more in your face people. No Nurses, (which I referred to as the new Maids), no smirky tough gigs have been offered since my recent brief appearance on Law & Order SVU. I'm blessed about that gig, but I must admit, it's been a while. These days you have to register often, hoping the calls will come in once more. I almost miss the casting comments at an audition to be a bit Blacker, one person asked if I could "broaden" my approach. I remember asking her to explain broader and she replied, you know more attitude.Anyway, I attended one of those registrations recently, and the lament from my colleagues was that there was little or no work for actors over forty. I think we've been replaced. Shows are seeking much younger folks. I looked around and sure enough, the average age was 45 and over. Now I read for pharmaceutical ads, I don't offer fried chicken and mac & cheese at a family gathering, I have high blood pressure, and diabetes. I'm not happily married, I have joint pain, several kids and no man in sight; and don't get me started on my irregular bowel problems while fighting bone loss. No wonder I've been replaced. I have more problems than a math test! The list goes on, and yes that's life, but I still feel young, and vibrant. However my demographic says something quite different in the world of advertising.

Thank God, I sing, and teach! There will always be the occasional Porgy & Bess production somewhere, and singers can rejoice once more. This Opera is a Masterpiece! For over twenty years, this work has blessed me with a chance to perform, and see the world. Yet I find myself thinking is that all there is? Well I temper that with being happy for the work, and I have done other contemporary works; but if it weren't for Porgy, I'd still be working on Wall Street, and singing at church enjoying fried chicken, and very sweet punch in the basement. Nice work if you can get it. But twenty years of Porgy, really? I was bored, if I heard Summertime one more time, I'd run out of the theater screaming. So I took a break for six years, and tried my hand at Musicals, auditioning for, and booking other projects like: voice-overs, print, TV, and film. All the while wondering if I was committing financial suicide. Was it wise to leave my uncomfortable comfort zone? Not really, but it was rough for a little while. I know, you're shaking your heads, how can I complain. It's not a complaint I just love to show range, and continue to have a diverse career. 

Well there it is, I have to accept change in every aspect of life. I try to remain encouraged so that I can honestly bless aspiring artists. Their joy, and hope gives me some balance, and I get to regale wonderful stories of a good life.

Take courage my soul, and let us journey on, though the night is dark and I am far from home. Thanks be to God, the morning light appears, the storm is passing over, the storm is passing over, Hallelujah!

This is my first blog since my beloved husband passed away. At long last I feel ready to write as the spirit has guided me during this challenging time in my life. The words and melody of this hymn was on my mind this morning, so here we are. Thanks to the loving support of my family, friends, and colleagues; this has been a journey filled with blessings, and a strength that only the Divine can bring.

I miss the little things really, conversations, laughter, foot rubs, helping me prepare for a concert, leaving the light on if I was working late when he couldn't wait up for me, and his hugs, and his warm hazel eyes. I miss him saying "honey do you want your tea now? Don't forget your water", I miss my husband's unfailing support of my talent, oftentimes my cheering section of one when times were hard. I remained encouraged, and we'd pray together; soon after that I'd get some positive news, and we'd celebrate.

Thankfully, I've been busy singing and teaching. I've been getting out more seeing friends; I even returned to be a judge for the NAACP Act-so competition for the vocal division for aspiring classical and comtemporary singers last week.

My sister referred me to a website griefshare.org which has been a blessing, especially during the Holidays. I even booked a Day Player part on an upcoming episode of Law & Order SVU! So things are looking up, and soon I'll be in London ( haven't been there in 15 years), for a bit of music ministry, seeing friends, and just enjoying time away for a while.

I'll close with the text of a spiritual, which has become a signiture piece of late. The words have blessed me, and I hope it will do the same to those who stop by to read this.

Hold on a little while longer, hold on a little while longer, everything's goona be alright. See the storm passing over, see the storm passing over, see the Lord move in your favor, everything's gonna be alright, just hold on a little while longer, everything's gonna be alright!

Hold on my friends, stay in faith, pray and meditate, watch things change as you move as the spirit leads.

Blessings always!

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

This scripture is from Hebrews 11:1, I refer to it often especially because in my as an artist, faith is what keeps me encouraged when projects have yet to come my way. Faith without action is frustrating, therefore I continue to reach out by mailings, and other ways of promoting myself to be active, rather than just waiting for good news. Without faith it is impossible to please God. I have to keep in mind that having the confidence in God to manifest blessings in my life as I pray and meditate daily is faith. Speak the Word only and I know that I'm healed, nothing missing, nothing broken. The verse begins with the word "now". Now faith, not down the line faith; or wait and see what happens faith. I believe it is a constant excercise of the mind, as one would excercise the body. Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.We all know what faith is, we live it in the natural realm. We believe that we will work each day, and get paid, the paycheck won't bounce, we'll return home safely, have a wonderful dinner with loved ones, and start all over again. Perhaps in a few months we'll go on that vacation we booked ages ago, and have a wonderful time, and life with it's challenges won't interfere this time. We trust that the car will start at the turn of the key. Is it blind faith really? Could it be a different gift of sight? How can we have faith in things, people, and events, and not in God?

There is a meditation that blesses me and keeps me from blocking future blessings by dwelling on an endeavor that wasn't mine to begin with; and look ahead to something else. Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. The meditation on creativity talks about: burying dead diappointments in the cemetaries of yesterday; and today plowing the garden of life with new creative efforts, I'm thankful to God to be able to try again, and again, until with His help the desires of my heart are fulfilled.

There was an elderly woman who would step out of her house, raise her hands, and shout "praise the Lord", her neighbor who wasn't a believer would be so irritated would shout "there is no Lord". One day she asked God for assistance in getting food, because she was hungry, and had very little money. I have faith in you Lord, once again the athiest shouted his same response, and told her to buy what she needed with the few pennies she had. The next day the woman shouted "praise the Lord, you dropped off groceries at my door, thank you!" The neighbor shouted "there is no Lord, I purchased the food". The woman responded, "thank you Lord, you blessed me yet again and this time the devil paid for it."

I have been blessed to see my faith turn into sight, to give first and later receive. I trust in the power of the mind with prayer and meditation, and have enjoyed being exceedingly, and abundantly by God. I pray that this blesses all who stop by to be refreshed, and perhaps smile.

With a gap in my teeth, full figured and dark skinned, perfumed, and well dressed; I walk into the room where I'm about to audition. Poised, and confident, prepared to sing an aria in Italian. I give a nod to the accompanist and begin to sing. They seem impressed, then ask if I could sing something else, sort of upbeat. In my mind I'm thinking they want to hear the rusty foot blues, or something like that; because my look doesn't quite add up to classical music. Maybe I've performed in one too many productions of Porgy and Bess. Perhaps they still  see me with an apron around my waist, and a scarf on my head. Gasp Mammy Dearest strikes again!

I sang an uptempo aria, they thanked me, and just as I was about to leave, someone says, we also have a few musicals coming up, have you done South Pacific? Ah yes Bali Hai, sure I can do that, however it's a low piece, and I'm warmed up to show off my higher range, I sang a few bars and left.

And what is range? To me it's a little over two octaves that I can sing well. It's also being able to portray someone different from the typical Big Black Woman with attitude. Okay I've been blessed to do some very interesting work. However one day I actually saw on a sheet of notes for the wardrobe dept. at a prestigous Opera Company in England; that there were some women listed as deeply religous mammy types, I had to speak out on that faux pas, and they may have erased it from their notes, but not from their minds or hearts.

I was told in an audition for a voice-over to broaden my sound. I was a bit puzzled, so I asked what she meant by broad. Oh you know more, well a bit blacker. Don't get me wrong you have a lovely speaking voice, but I want an edge. An edge, ah I get it. I gave her what I thought she wanted, and she was delighted. "Now that's real" she said you were too articulate, and less converstional. Ah Mammy Dearest strikes again!

While visiting a friend in Wales, I went to a Pub with my friend and her mom. A friend stopped by our table, and I was introduced as Carol's friend from America. He regaled stories of his visit to the States. Then after a few drinks, he leaned over to me and said for me to feel free to speak in my native tongue. My native tongue, is my Brooklyn accent not enough? I won't even begin to comment on that one, I had a few choice four letter words on my mind to share as my native tongue. Carol and her mom were speachless.

What can I say in this day and age, I continue to press on ever seeking, and working towards a brighter day.

Metaphysical Meditation

Today I will open the door of my calmness and let the footsteps of silence gently enter all of my activities. I will perform all duties serenely, saturated with peace.

My dear friend and mentor Alan gave me a wonderful gift before I went on tour. I shared with him that I was nervous about being away from home for such a long time. This was the first of many outings even though I'd travelled before; this was seven months of doing what I dared to step out in faith to accomplish. Ah fear the ememy's most well used tool. We sat down in his garden. I remember how he loved entertaining there; the iron gate which led to this peaceful place had a message over it in gold letters that read, Love, Peace. Joy, Harmony with music notes here and there. We sat and talked about music, life, love, and the importance of incorporating medidation and prayer daily to keep life in balance.

He asked if I wanted to open it right away or wait, I eagerly opened the plain white box tied with ribbon; inside was a small book bound in navy blue leather with gold letters. The book was entitled Metaphysical Meditations. He also enclosed a sterling silver business card case with my initials engraved on the cover. I was really moved, and started to cry. I left his lovely home and read the inscription on the inside cover. He drew a small cross in gold, and in purple ink he wrote: "For my dear scorpio sister Linda, to keep with her and use for meditation periods during her pre-comcerts, travel, etc. Love Alan Garcia". I must admit I cried all the way home.

 He passed away several years ago, I still miss hin, but I feel his spirit whenever I go back to this small book for guidance. I meditate daily, and find that serene, peaceful place which allows my moment with God, a time to pray for the people I love, and for an opportunity for creative endeavors to come to fruition. 

Blessings to one and all who stop by to read this! I pray for joy, blessings beyond your imagination, and ever increasing faith, always and in all ways.

There is a scripture that talks about being careful when meeting strangers, you may be entertaining angels unaware.

One Sunday morning, I was enroute to New Jersey, I was dreading the journey because to be honest I really didn't know where I was going, or the outcome of the meeting. The appointment was in Wayne, I hadn't been there before, I had pretty good instructions. I simply had to go to Port Authority and take a bus to Wayne and walk a few blocks. Why was I uneasy? I've travelled all over the world. I've been a stranger in many cities, and made friends.This was different, did I really want to commute if I got the Job? How long would the journey be after a performance? I was weary because I spent time with friends, my heart was heavy because the challenges of life were weighing heavily upon my shoulders.

I had to stop for a moment, how many times to we block our blessings with doubt, fear, and unbelief, creating  many barriors  and foreseeing as well as creating problems that haven't manifested into reality. To be honest I also had to miss a church service, and I was going to be a paid soloist, so there was money involved. I shook it off and went on to Port Authority. I was early, so there I was at gate 233 with about a thirty minute wait for my bus. A man wandered in, and smiled politety, we ended up talking about his luggage which he purchased at Macy's. He introduced himself, his name was Robert. We talked about the big sale and how much money he saved. He went on to tell me that he relocated to California, and was in town to be with his family. He was an actor, and did quiet a few commercials. So of course as a performer I talked about myself. I mentioned that I'm a singer, and going out to audition for a musical. After a while he started to talk about the many blessings in his life, and how God had blessed him with good health. He started quoting scriptures, and offered to pray with me. We held hands and he began to pray. I was so moved and felt a wonderful spiritual presence. People were starting to file in and some were watching us as he continued to bless me. We embraced, the bus arrived and we started to board, he asked the driver about his stop, and he was told that he had to take the next bus. I thanked him, and went on my way.

He was an angel to me, heaven sent to ease my doubts, and uplift me, I gave thanks silently as I waved to him. It wasn't about our riding together, it was the moment we shared in prayer and meditation. I'll never forget Robert, the day I dreaded turned out to be  glorious. The people I met were very kind and positive; they offered me the job.

I could have ignored Robert, and quietly waited for the bus to arrive, and would've missed an experience that still blesses me to this day. I needed that word from God, I didn't miss worshipping in church, and in being kind to this sweet person I was quite aware that I was in the company of an angel, to remind me that God is truly in the blessing business. 

Once again I was blessed to prepare a brief homily on the Spirit of Giving. I recalled our Pastor would quote a scripture before the offering saying "it was more blessed to give than to receive." As a young person, it was a good thought, but when it came to sharing with my sisters, it became a challenge.

 Years later, I came across another verse which said : Give and it shall be given unto you. Good measure, pressed down and shaken together, and running over shall men give unto your bosom. The principles of seedtime and harvest became clear to me, how could I gain anything without putting something in; whether it was time, energy, or even finances. Even the process of thought, the seed of the power of the tongue, leading to action the beginning of sowing; was becoming so powerful, that as I wrote, I became overwhelmed. I felt this can't be brief at all. This would be a conversation that had to be lived, there were testimonies that gad to be shared. Thought, word and deed, prayer, faith and a tangible result. A confession came to mind which asked for forgiveness for our thoughts, words, and deeds against God's divine majesty.

How powerful are our thoughts? Do they indeed take flight and have wings? What about our words? The centurian spoke these words saying to Jesus, "Speak the word only and I know my servant is healed." That was a display of faith that still moves me, He didn't need a laying on of hands or touching the hem of his garment; just speak the word only. Wow!

 I sat back and took off my glasses. Was I missing the point about the spirit of giving? Was I going off on a tangent not focusing on what a spirit of giving is al about. We are to be cheerful givers, not expecting anything in return except for the privilege to be a bessing. To pray intercessory prayers before praying for my own needs. To remember to tithe because it's the right thing to do; rather than expect a return , to be in the spirit of giving, led by the Spirit of the living God who will supply all of our need according to His riches in glory.

I had to stop, I was filled with so many thoughts that I signed off and promised to return as I was led . There was no pressing deadline, so I backed away. One night a simple melody cane to me and the words from Matthew 6:33 began to fit with the melody." But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

The homily is still pending, however the gift of music which has been a lifelong gift from on high, blessed me more than words can say. To seek God first, all needs, wants and desires will be added unto us, in the fullness of time.

Blessings always, and in all ways

Back in November a friend of mine urged me to check out this site. She said it would be a great marketing tool, and I could rack up celebs for bragging rights, I thought to myself bragging to who? Would someone be impressed that a person I admire has me among thousands of people hoping to get a personal message? Would they click on to my firends to have them on their friends list? Oh yes that's exactly what one personal friend mentioned over the phone. He said ooh you have him? Great I've got to have this director, or actor on my list too. Next thing I knew, I was perusing and requesting from other friends profiles as well. That was interesting, and a lot of fun. Personally I feel as close to celebraties as I am to the Moon right now; but hope springs...

However I acquiesed, and signed on. I had no picture, no tee shirts to sell, no CD. or DVD to promote; just me an opera singer from Brooklyn trying something new, and wondering all the while, am I too old for this? Well one day I started seeeing friend requests popped up, even from celebraties!. It was almost as exhilarating as hearing for the first time many years ago "You've Got Mail". I saw responses to my friend submissions. I was on a roll with all of thirty seven friends. I loved the comments, read all of my bulletins. Then I decided to be creative and post a few blog entries. Oh I was retcent, but I've written a few things for various projects, so I took a deep breath, and pressed on. To my delight, and surprise, they were well received. Sadly I couldn't "pimp out my profile" because the graphics sites weren't compatible with VISTA. That's okay, I decided to upload pictures, I was truly in the zone.

Then one sad day, a dear person that  I had a crush on, left without warning. He simply dropped off. I almost cried, this person was the first to subscribe to my blog! His sweet comments were replaced with, a gray box that said this profile no longer exists. Sighing, I shook it off, and continued to explore more features.

Ahh the IM, There were a few men who engaged in small talk until they couldn't hold back and began to reveal what they wanted to do to me. I heard of my awesome smile, and cleavage. The questions were amazing, of course, I was flattered then it changed to concern, I see now why privacy settings are so important. I pressed on, through notices of birthdays, comments, emails. Then I was shocked to see a footnote that I didn't write. After six months, my space was invaded. New passwords, and so it goes.

Perhaps some or all can relate, I'm still here enjoying the guilty pleasure that is MySpace. It has become a forum to write. and enjoy wonderful poetry, spread my creative wings, and hope to meet the wonderful, gifted, and  supportive friends that I've grown to love. Thank you, you know who you are. Blessings always and in all ways!

I was given an assignment to deliver a homily at a Women's Day service at my church. The topic was Better Relationships & Effective Communication. I pondered this for a while, and thought about marriage, children, family and friends.Communication is defined in part as an exchange of information, by talk or gestures, writing; also the art of expressing ideas; to have a sympathetic or meaningful relationship. It's also described as a passage or way from one place to another.

What is a relationship without communication, I thought, I wasn't very good at it and wondered how I could begin to advise anyone. I recalled as a newlywed I'd shut down if I was annoyed with my husband, or drag up past mistakes rather than attack the problem at hand not each other. Sometimes I'd ask him what he was thinking about, knowing good and well he wanted to know what's for dinner and what else was on TV, or where's the remote etc.I was pleasantly surprised that I got a few knowing nods and a laugh. His silence wasn't pondering the world, but rather enjoying a time of peace at home. Okay I got that.

I began to write and came up with a brief talk about a closer walk in faith and love, inserting scriptures especially one of my favorites: "And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12;2). I've learned to listen carefully rather than ramble, to pray and meditate for clarity in all things to better communicate with loved ones, I feel now I'm a better daughter, wife, sister, and teacher. The assignment that puzzled me actually blessed me.

Think differently, dream bigger, don't block your blessings with fear or doubt,  meditate often, and have faith- the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.

Blessings to one and all!