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Melody's Circle of Life

Melody

Mary Lane Cryns


Last Updated: 7/9/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 51
Sign: Leo

State: California
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/11/2005

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June 15, 2009 - Monday 

Current mood:  bouncy
I'm here after being in Hawaii.

here's the link to the International Women's Writing Guild.

 

Currently listening:
Abbey Road (1990)
By The Beatles
Release date: 1990-10-25
June 10, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  bummed
Category: Life


 
a beautiful rainbow stretched across the sky while we were down in the garden grilling fish...

 
Paradise was right across the street from where we stayed in Maui
 
The view from the balcony where I sat with my laptop computer...talk about a beautiful "garden!"

 
Sunflower seeds are planted in our garden and we are excited because we’ve all got our own designated spot of land in the garden which stretches out behind the flat we live at on Second Avenue.  The back yards are like a whole alternate universe from the front of the house – separated by wooden fences which we’d climb, some fences taller than others – a complex world of rectangle and square plots of land – some of the land all grass, some filled with flowers, some overrun by nasturtiums and weeds. 

 


 
Our garden was kind of a magical place because the couple who lived downstairs from us made it so – they lived in what was called the garden apartment because it was a small apartment that overlooked the garden – much, much smaller than our flat.  Mr. and Mrs. Fentley lived there – and Mr. Fentley was a mad scientist who had a lab up near U.C. Hospital and was always doing experiments out in our back yard.  Like one time he brought home a sheep skull and put it out in the yard to see what kind of fly larvae would grow on it and then he’d write about it on a clipboard.  Mr. Fentley would show us all the different bugs on the bushes that we didn’t even know existed, like the “spittle bug” that would literally live inside what looked like his own spit so that nobody would bother him – and all these different types of beetles that lived on the plants as well.  He didn’t like snails though because they ate all the flowers and leaves, so he’d pay us a nickel for every snail we’d find and smash against this one side of the fence.


 

Then for a while we had two white rabbits living in our back yard as well.  We kids named them Herman and Big Mama even though later we found out they were both male rabbits.  Those rabbits ate anything and everything that was green in our backyard leaving a sort of barren wasteland…so finally the rabbits had to go away.  Mr. Fentley said they went to a farm someplace, and we all liked to believe that was true.  Mr. Fentley got me my first pet guinea pig and even built a cage for him.  He rang the doorbell on my birthday and when I answered, only the guinea pig in the cage remained – I never forgot that.  I loved Timmy and found out later that Mr. Fentley had all kinds of mice and guinea pigs, etc., at his lab.  Supposedly they were on vacation there.

So after the bunnies left, the yard began to turn green again.  My brother brought home three nasturtium plant seeds – those green plants with the round green leaves and the orange flowers that spread like wildfire all over parts of Golden Gate Park and Sigmund Stern Grove.  Those three little leaves spread through about a quarter of the back yard, but it was good because we could pick the orange flowers that grew endlessly in the yard now.  There were fuchsia bushes and sometimes we’d pop the buds because we liked the popping noise, and that bush that had those huge flowers that we found out later were called chrysanthemums.

So, Mr. Fentley decided to give each of us a plot of land – me, my brother and sister and David and Barry around the corner.  We marked off our land and even put name tags on it.  Then he gave us sun flower seeds to plant – imagine that, sun flower seeds.

So we all planted our seeds, and every day we’d run into the garden and see if our seeds had grown, and soon enough we saw the green shoots pop out of the ground – we were so excited!  Those green shoots grew into huge stalks that were taller than us – and huge yellow sun flowers with sun flower seeds galore in the middle – the guinea pig loved the seeds.

Maui was like one huge garden – with flowers and luscious fruits growing from trees.  You don’t have to go far to find paradise in Maui, and you don’t have to spend a lot of money – because Paradise is right outside your door there.  All I needed to do was cross the street in my flip flops and my bathing suit to the ocean, and feel the warm water brush against my feet and hear the music of the waves and swim way out among the surfers and the snorkelers…one with the ocean.  I thought I’d seen paradise in San Francisco.  But Maui is what San Francisco used to be – with people sitting on street corners playing guitars and ukuleles and singing…the way it should be.

Leaving Maui

It was with great regret that I reluctantly trudged through the security gate at the airport in Maui last night, saying good-bye to the most special, magical place I’ve ever been to. I could hear singing and ukulele and guitar ringing through the airport, saying good-bye…music was everywhere in Maui – it seemed that everywhere I went, to Hana up in the lush green hills overlooking the most amazing part of the ocean I met a girl people in town call “Ukulele Donna” because she always serenades the people who come through town, either on their own or via tour – playing and singing. She showed me a few ukulele chords and she showed me her small four-string ukulele, which she plays left-handed and upside down even though she’s right-handed because she’d watch her Grandma play and mirror her…

She also laughed about how Grandma went through a lot of ukuleles because she sometimes smashed them when she got mad – and you had to watch out or Grandma would hit you with one of them. I laughed and said it sounded like something a rock star would do or something… She sang beautifully. Then, there were the dudes sitting at a picnic table overlooking the ocean, singing in harmony and playing guitar and ukulele…

We were constantly surrounded by the beauty and the music, enveloped…it was so hard to leave… and sometimes things don’t work out the way you plan it because I had to take a plane from Maui to Salt Lake City, Utah, then another plane to Seattle, Washington, change airlines and then catch yet one more plane down to San Francisco – the plane was late and they put my luggage on the wrong plane. I’d already been traveling all night, so I didn’t need to have to wait an extra hour and a half at the airport for my suitcase to arrive… so the backup plan was that Jeremy would have to leave and come back to the airport, and I’d just get as much done as I can before heading off to New York late tonight on the red-eye…right now I’m so tired I feel as if I could just lie down and fall asleep…but there’s places to go and things to do.

And the reality of life has hit me in the face. Last night at this time, I sat at a picnic table looking at the ocean…and I swam one last night and rode the waves and felt the warm water lap against my feet – one more time. I’ve vowed to get a ukulele and learn to play it, so I can just whip it out wherever I go and sing along… like those kids at Ioe Valley who sang to bless the water before they swam in it…

Currently listening:
Gently Weeps
By Jake Shimabukuro
Release date: 2006-09-19
June 5, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  enlightened
Category: Life


 
 


We got up at 5:30 a.m. yesterday morning, 8:30 a.m. California time – it still seems like a dream that I’m actually in Maui, in Hawaii – with its beautiful beaches and beautiful sunsets, and well, it isn’t exactly how I imagined it, but quite beautiful and special – even better than what I’d imagined.  I’m staying with my friend Heidi and her husband Richard in a one-bedroom condo at one of those resorts (you know, those “timeshares”) and it’s quite nice – I think so.  Much nicer than just a regular hotel room because there’s an actual kitchen.  The balcony looks down on to a wonderful pool with waterfalls and all colors of flowers growing on trees and bushes, red, purple and yellow – with the palm trees swaying against the dazzling blue sky above.  Well, when it doesn’t spit rain. It’s beautiful here even when it rains. 



 
 

I decided I wanted to go snorkeling because I’ve never done it my entire life – and I’ve always wanted to try.  We had to get up at 5:30 a.m. so that Richard could drive me to Slip 51 down at the harbor and off I’d go on a boat for a snorkeling adventure!  I was really excited, but a little nervous.  When we arrived at what we thought was the right gate, I looked at the large three-story boat and breathed a sigh of relief – not that I don’t like small boats.  I just get seasick.

 
 
But the guy didn’t have me on their list and then we realized that I was signed up for the other boat cruise, and the guy laughed and pointed to the “Aqua Adventure” slip and said, “This is okay, but our food is a lot better, hahaha!”


 


What the heck did he mean by that?  So we walked next door and I saw this tiny boat, but not too tiny – it looked like, like…like the fishing boat I traveled into the ocean on 12 years ago to scatter my mother’s ashes with my brother, a crazy hippie sea captain and Bill Chrysler – and the one kid of mine who was brave enough to go, Jeremy.  When that boat hit the huge ocean waves swaying back and forth, sometimes feeling as if it would tip sideways in the rough ....Oregon.... ocean waters, I was too busy throwing up over the side of the ship to be frightened in any way. 


I stood there a moment and looked and the captain of a ship, a funny older Hawaiian guy, said, “Are you ready for your adventure?”


“Umm, yes I am!” I said.  I remembered that I had taken some Dramamine and that I had it in my pocket, so this time I was prepared and good to go, no matter what the size of the boat was.  Heidi had told me how they had gone out in the ocean years ago on a giant raft and how it “kurplunked” over and over again into the water slamming them down… so at least this was a boat!


The crew, which consisted of the captain and two women – I remember one named Kelly and can’t remember the nice woman with the tattoos’ name, but they were awesome.  I had already waved good-bye to Heidi and Richard, who weren’t going with me on this adventure – it was just me and around 11 other people – mostly young couples, and a lady named Jemma who sat next to me and said she lived in LA and worked for Spanish TV.  The couples came from various places, ..Minnesota.., even ....Korea.....  They were all so young and beautiful, in perfect physical shape – and then there was me.  But on this adventure, I guess we were all the same.  As the boat pulled out, I already felt a little dizzy, but it wasn’t too bad – thank you, Dramamine, I thought silently as I hung on to my seat, and Kelly told us about “snoba diving” which is a cross between scuba diving and snorkeling, and that anyone could try it if they wanted –  as I listened to her talk about it, I decided, one step at a time.  I just wanna snorkel, especially since a little bit of dizziness had set in already.  I drank some water and took another Dramamine.  Maybe I need more of this stuff, I thought.  But I wanted to go out to sea so badly, and I wanted to swim in the ocean and snorkel! 


They had all the food and drink we wanted aboard this little ship and the crew knew all of our names by the time we got out to the first spot where we would have our water adventure.  I had my special underwater camera with me.  By the time we got to the rock granite island surrounded by the most beautiful blue ocean water, three other people aboard our little boat had succumbed to seasickness, and I found myself passing around the Dramamine saying, “Here, take this.  Maybe it will help.” 


I was feeling a little dizzy, but I figured that being in the water would totally cure that.  So when most of the younger passengers were putting on their wet suits that they decided to get, I jumped up and said, “Naaa, I don’t need a wet suit!  I just wanna get into the water!”


“Sure, go for it!” the Captain smiled.  “You can do it!”


So I put on my mask with the snorkel pipe sticking up, deciding against the fins and the wet suit, and plunged into the cool sea water – it only took me like 30 seconds to get used to it!  It was wonderful.


It took me a few moments to figure out how to use the snorkeling thing, though, and one of the ladies swam over and helped me out with it – I already knew about breathing through my mouth, and I just had to bite it properly and make sure the mask was on correctly.  So finally, I did it, I plunged my head in into the water and saw the most amazing sea world ever, with all this coral at the bottom and beautiful tropical fishes swimming around, black and yellow.  Wow, I thought – but I also felt this overwhelming seasickness as the waves moved me around, so I stuck my head out of the water and I couldn’t help it, I threw up right into the water, over and over, while the sea captain who was still at the back of the boat said, “That’s it, girl.  Let it out.  Let it all out.”


So I did, and then I felt a lot better and just said to heck with it.  I wasn’t gonna let a little seasickness ruin my day.  All of a sudden, I felt a little bite on my hand.  “Ow!” I shouted.  One of the little fishies bit me!  The sea captain laughed. 


I remembered how as a kid I wasn’t dizzy at all.


When I was a kid, I’d swing for hours, back and forth, back and forth, at Children’s Playground in ....Golden Gate.. ..Park..... I’d swing to the beat of the ever-present bongo and conga drums that forever set the rhythm – drifting over from Hippie Hill which was just past Children’s Playground. I’d swing in rhythm to the drums which never stopped playing. Never once did I feel dizzy.


Then I’d skateboard down the hill that led to Children’s Playground. The paved road there was especially good for skateboarding because it was curvy and not straight like all the streets in San Francisco where I lived were – the avenues were like neat little squares and some streets had hills and some didn’t, but the streets weren’t curvy, they were dependable, and the avenues were organized beginning with Arguello (instead of first avenue) and going all the way up to 48th Avenue and no further because that’s where Ocean Beach is.


Even though the years have gone by and it’s been close to 40 years since I’ve careened down hills on a skateboard and the last time I attempted to swing at a playground, I felt dizzy – that old vertigo thing has set in. Now I can’t even handle a ride that spins in any way. Children’s Playground has been completely dismantled and rebuilt – yet some things still remain the same. The beating of the drums still set the rhythm for that section of Golden Gate Park, and the avenues are still just as dependable as they ever have been – I can count on the streets being there, and I can still drive down the street where I grew up, Second Avenue, between Lincoln Way and Hugo Street right across the street from Golden Gate Park – a patch of meadow that we kids always called the Greens, a meadow with trees to climb surrounded by traffic – our spot of the world to find what every kid loves, surrounded by whizzing cars.

What I want to say is that this morning I feel greatly saddened by hearing of the passing of a good online friend of mine Candyce.  I talked to her for years on a tiny listserv called “Proofrock” and always felt her warmth and support, and I cannot believe she’s gone now, succumbed to a rare blood disease, so when I think of all the wonderful memories I’m making here in Maui, I will always think of Candyce who would want me to have a good time here.

I knew there was a reason I saw that Wake in the ocean the other day; I just didn’t know what it was.


What I want to say is, when I purged into the ocean while on the snorkeling adventure last Sunday, the sea captain said, “That’s it, let it all out, let the poison out.”  And I did.


And then I felt so much better and I swam around with the fishies for a while and all was well – until I got back on the rockin’ boat and the sea captain laughed and said, “I rock my baby harder than this!”


What I want to say is, I’ve seen turtles everywhere this week – when we went to the second snorkeling site, I didn’t do the snooba thing where you go way under, but just snorkeled above the water, and a sea turtle came right at me and I got a photo of him…  not knowing that later a woman selling crafts at the Luau Monday evening said that turtles meant “Good luck and long life.”


On our way back on the tiny boat, we stopped near a beach and one of the crew members announced that the people were having a Wake for a good friend of theirs named Annie, and that they hoped we didn’t mind hanging out there for a while.  No one minded.


So, I climbed the ladder and stood on the top of the boat with the two crew members and Kelly, one of them, threw flower petals into the ocean while we watched all these Hawaiian Natives madly paddle on small boats out into the ocean, and people in colorful clothing stood on the beach.  Then the sea captain stopped the motor on the boat, and it became very quiet for just a moment and then I heard someone singing a Hawaiian chant in a loud voice, even from where we stood on the boat… 


Then everyone began shouting and cheering – for Annie.  “For Annie!” the crew gals and the sea captain shouted, and suddenly I felt filled with emotion – for Annie whom I didn’t know but who must’ve been a wonderful person – and for my mother.


“You know,” I said, choking up, and I hoped that the girls wouldn’t notice, “We scattered my mother’s ashes into the ocean 12 years ago, and well…maybe a piece of her is here today.”


The girls smiled, and one hugged me.  The sea captain nodded.  They understood, they really understood and they didn’t think I was crazy.


I remembered the small boat and how I threw up off the side of the boat and said good-bye to my mother who specifically wanted her ashes scattered into the ocean…and I could feel her there, all around us, saying, “It’s all right now…”


After that, all the dizziness, the stomach pain, the sickness left me and I stood on the front of the boat for the entire rest of the trip, feeling the cool, salty wind whip against my face, drying my tears…


What I want to say is, paradise can be anywhere – even right outside your door.  You don’t have to walk very far.  Paradise right now is here, looking up at the full moon and the stars, so illuminated here in ....Hawaii.... – and right across the street at the beach where the next morning after my scuba adventure, I walked right into the ocean and floated out there with the surfers and the boogie borders and the snorkelers – for hours.


Currently listening:
With My Little Ukulele in My Hand
By Various Artists
Release date: 2008-04-15
June 4, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  breezy
Category: Life


 
Me & Megan, Saratoga Springs, NY Remember the Magic
Conference...June 2009

his time last year, I was up in ....Washington.. ..State.... sitting in a room filled with parents listening to people from the adolescent drug rehab facility talk to us about our kids and drugs.  Then we broke into two groups and I felt as if I was being yelled at by a counselor that all of my kids are most likely drug addicts because my youngest daughter admitted that her older siblings had smoked pot and that we as a family apparently shared a “general acceptance of smoking pot.”

It rained every single day that I made the 50-mile drive each way through hellish traffic in the Seattle-Tacoma area, driving my friend Heidi’s husband’s old Datsun pickup truck, then driving all the way up to Burien after a grueling day of education and painful counseling that always consisted of parents bursting into tears – seeing my beautiful daughter at Rehab was difficult…when I first made it up to Washington, finally, we hadn’t seen each other for over six weeks, and we hugged emotionally in the hallway of the Lakeside Millam Treatment Center.


So, I had attempted to defend myself explaining to the counselor that no, my older kids were not drug addicts, that yes, they’d smoked pot, but that none of them were addicts or alcoholics.  I guess it didn’t matter whether the counselor believed me or not.


In the middle of the hellish week, I began to receive automated calls from the Santa Clara County Jail.  It was late at night at my friend Heidi’s house and all of her dogs were yapping away as I listened to the messages, finally managing to get a hold of my son Jeremy who shared with me that he needed help getting bailed out of jail…and could I come up with at least part of the bail because he got picked up for jumping on cars in downtown San Jose.


“You’ve gotta be kidding!” I’d shouted into the phone.  Unreal.  So I had no choice but to help bail my son out.


This year at the same time, Megan is safely with her boyfriend’s dad and girlfriend, and I am in ..Maui..…and it’s beautiful and magical here.


I’ve been able to swim in the warmer ocean, snorkel and do all kinds of things – and today I took the long and winding road to Hana – on a small tour bus with my friends Heidi and Richard.


This year I’m with Megan at the Remember the Magic International Women’s Writing Guild conference in Saratoga Springs, New York, and Megan has just shared a piece of her writing in front of over 300 women in a big auditorium, about how the death of her Grandma affected her, even at the tender age of four. 


This year Megan completed an entire novel outline and summary in the “Novel Within You” workshop.  This year, things are a lot different.


 


 

Currently listening:
Abbey Road (1990)
By The Beatles
Release date: 1990-10-25
June 3, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  excited
So I’m sitting here tonight wearing a colorful bathing suit and, miraculously, it actually fits!  AC DC’s “Rock n’ Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution” plays on the radio and I’m feeling quite festive as I look around to see remnants of decorations from Jeremy’s surprise party almost a month ago – a Hawaiian theme. 
At the beginning of May, we had a surprise party for my son Jeremy, for his 25th birthday. His girlfriend Jen thought of it and spent a lot of time picking out special decorations – colorful streamers, balloons, and all sorts of small palm trees, including decorations hanging from the ceiling. They’re still hung in the living room, kitchen area and hallway.
Jen arrived early Saturday morning, before I even had a chance to drink coffee, and she and Megan began decorating.

SURPRISE!!!!
Jeremy had no idea about the party, but he knew something was up. His older brother Stevie picked him up and brought him over at about 1:00 pm and we all waited in anticipation, just like in those movies when someone has a surprise party, turning down the lights and being super quiet after Megan ran inside and yelled, “He’s coming!”
And when Jeremy walked inside we all yelled happy birthday and blew off poppers and streamers – and Jen put one of those Hawaiian necklaces on Jeremy and the music began to play – tropical Hawaiian music. Jeremy was so happy and surprised. His dogs burst into the apartment and immediately began teaching my dog and cat, and we drank out of these cute tropical straws – and there are a lot left over so we’re all still drinking out of them.
 
We had no idea the party would last 12 hours, people coming and going, music playing, from Grateful Dead to Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd to Credence Clearwater and even a little Stevie Wonder thrown in. Jeremy, being the birthday boy, got to pick out all the music. My family was all there, and all the kids’ friends, plus Jeremy’s closest friends – an amazing party.
 
At one point, Jeremy opened his presents, and I had stuck in a couple of pieces I had written about him as a little boy. I had no idea that he’d read it out loud to everyone there at the party and they’d laugh at hearing my description of little Jeremy with the blonde curls. And my son Stevie yelled, “Mom’s writing the stories.”

And it hit me that this writing thing is so important – no matter what, even if at first my writing is merely words tumbled on to the white screen.
I’ve gotta tell the stories.

Because maybe, just maybe, someone will listen, I thought finding a hallowed lime peel sitting on the kitchen counter, two days after the party even.

And now I’ve thought of that again as I sit here with my bathing suit on.  I’m practicing and getting prepared because…
   

It all began when my long-time friend Heidi from Washington called me while I was working late and asked when Megan and I were headed to New York for the annual IWWG conference, and I told we were leaving the night of the 11th – and that it would be my 10th year!
“Well, how would you like to go to Hawaii from June 5 through the 11th?”
“Hahaha, yeah, right!” I said trying to get my work done so I could get out the door.  “Too bad I’m going to New York and…”
At first I thought it was crazy, but I’d always dreamed of going to Hawaii or anywhere that had warm ocean water – maybe some time in my life.  I had loads of photos of oceans and beaches and water and sunsets…
“Well, I know you’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii and me and Richard got this timeshare at the last minute in Maui and I thought maybe – c’mon.  It’ll be an adventure!”
That’s all it took.  An adventure.
Why not?  All I’d need was a plane ticket and then I’d have a place to stay – with Heidi and Richard in their timeshare condo, right by the beach – in Maui!!!!!
But then I wondered if I could get the extra time off work – I’d have to extend my vacation time an extra week, and then what would I do about Megan and the animals and….?
“Okay – I won’t know for sure ‘til tomorrow when I check with the office manager at work about the time off – but if…”
“Yaaaayyy!” Heidi shouted.  “it’ll be sooo fun!”
Yes, fun.  Like when Heidi and me would drive around the Germany countryside back in the early 1980’s, and how she was there when my kids were born and how we’d followed each other around the world and Heidi was my friend who went with me to Vegas for the first time just a year or so ago.  Then I remembered how just a year ago, Megan was up in Washington, staying at Heidi’s and then going to Rehab, but things are so much better now.  So much better – from Family Recovery Week in Washington in June where it rained every day – to Hawaii!
“Yes, it will be.”  I was still in shock when I hung up the phone.  Wow, I just can’t believe it. 
Everything just fell into place and I got approved for the time off, and then Heidi found the best deal on plane tickets and went ahead and purchased mine. 
On Thursday night, I’m going to Hawaii!!!!!!!  Maui here we come baby!  I never in a million years thought
I went out to tonight to Los Gatos, to a place called Number One Broadway -- the Megatones were playing there.  My guitar teacher and friend Mike Sult is the lead guitarist.  I'd never seen them at this particular place before, and figured what the heck...I'm here by myself and the cat's in the house, so at least Sydney won't be all alone and it's Saturday night.  I was thinkin' it was a totally casual place, like Woodham's Lounge, where I go for Friday night jams sometimes so I didn't get dressed up or anything...in fact, I was wearing ne of my tie-dye t-shirts -- with a big peace symbol in the front and it says, "Make Love, Not War."  I've been to Los Gatos a few times, but never to Number One Broadway.  As a matter of fact, I took Heidi’s daughter Julie there last summer to see that Beatles band called "Paperback Writer" play in the park, and Julie really liked Los Gatos.  It's very quaint and beautiful, right at the foothills of the Santa Cruz mountains -- only a few miles from where I live.
So I walk into the place and everyone's pretty dressed up -- some guys were even wearing suits and some chicks nice dresses...I'm like ooops!  maybe I made a mistake coming here, but then the band members all smiled and waved at me 'cause they're my friends and I figured, what the heck, I'll stay for a little while...no biggie.  There wasn't anyplace for me to sit even, so I felt even weirder, but this lady asked if I'd like to sit down in the extra chair at her small table so I did...turns out her name is Debbie and she worked at Foothill College where Mike Sult teaches and she comes to watch him play guitar along with the rest of the band...she said she used to see him teach his classes up at Foothill.  Hey I still take my guitar class to this day.  It's just such a small world isn't it?
Mike Sult came right over to say hello to me, and we all three sat at the table and talked.  Then Harry, the lead singer, came over to say hi as well!  Then I excitedly told everyone that I was going to Hawaii this Thursday night and that I could hardly wait!
Next thing you know, Harry is telling me all this cool stuff about Maui, his favorite island, he said...and that he would send me a message via myspace outlining all of his favorite places to go in our area!  he said I will love it there so much!  Then Debbie said that Maui is an amazing magical place and that I must look up at the stars at night...and that she went for what was supposed to be a four-night visit and ended up staying for 37 days!  she said you could practically sleep on the beach...that's how wonderful and nice it is!  and that everyone was just super chill...basically she and Harry just went on and on about how cool it was there. and that I most likely will never want to return...
WOW!
Now I'm even MORE excited.
So I ended up having a good night even dressed casually...no one seemed to care and I even danced a bunch!  One chick came up to me and said, "I love you!" then she hugged me.  I'd never seen her before in my life!
Then she said, "I love you, but I don't like some of the people who live here in Los Gatos, but I love you!"
Debbie and I became friends and she's a total Beatles freak, so that was really cool...we exchanged emails and myspace addresses and she told me about the best places to go to see Beatles-related stuff.
So I ended up staying until after the band stopped playing and then even longer talking to Debbie for a while...and then another trippy thing happened.  I was driving down the main drag of downtown Los Gatos, which is of course pretty dead at like 2:00 a.m., and I had my window down a little bit and I heard singing and guitar playing (I kid you not!) and I looked over and saw a guy playing guitar and singing, "American Woman!" and three other people were singing along...their voices ringing through the streets.  There were cabs and cop cars right there, and the cops were totally cool with it too...maybe they were grooving to the music!
As I drove by, I rolled my window down and started singing along, and one of the chicks yelled, "c'mon and sing along with us!"
I know this sounds nutty, but I did pull over.  It was a nice night (or rather early morning) and it wasn't too hot or too cold...I actually just walked over and said, "Know any Beatles songs?" and the dude playing guitar broke into "I Saw Her Standing Tehre" and we all sang along...
Then we sang a bunch of other songs, like "Peaceful Easy Feeling" (Eagles) and "You Can't Always Get What you Want (Stones) and even "Horse with no Name" (America).  It was so much fun and here it was after 2am and we were standing on the main drag of downtown Los Gatos singing!
At one point, I saw Mike Sult drive by -- guess they'd finally got all their gear packed up and I waved at him as he drove by and he made it a point to pull over and come over -- he wanted to check up on me and make sure I was okay and that I wasn't stuck or that my car hadn't broken down.  I mean, it was all just so funny and random!
The dude playing guitar knew who Mike Sult was -- he said, "Oh dude!  You are the best guitar player I've ever heard my whole life!"
Mike just laughed...when he was convinced that I was all right, he said g'night and left and finally, I said I had to go too.  What fun!
Maybe it's just the beginning of the magic that's gonna happen...don't be surprised if I do something totally nutty when I'm over there in Maui where I'm told the stars are absolutely amazing...I wanna go to the beach at night and see those beautiful stars!
I can hardly wait!
So that’s why I’m sitting here in my bathing suit.  I’m gearing up, getting ready for the biggest adventure ever.

How ironic that Jerm's party was with a Hawaiian theme!
More b-day memories...

all of my kids showed up at Alana's fifth birthday party in late March!  (Alana is Melissa's bff Alisha's little girl)


The whole gang!  (Josh, Megan, Jerm, Jen, Melissa, Alisha, Shane, me, Liezl, Kenny, Val, Stevie and of course Alana front and center)

Me and the kids (late March) at Alana's b-day bash!


Alana with her "Aunt Sicca" and Mommy Alisha
Currently listening:
Maui
By Kava Kava
Release date: 2004-06-15
May 28, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  bouncy
“It’s all gotta come down,” the office manager said to me in a low voice.  “The policy committee is coming through tomorrow.”


Feb. 2009
John, the best attorney I ever worked for, and me -- at my desk on his last day before all of my pictures had to come down

“Okay.”  I’d heard the office manager at work tell me this before – I had to take down all of my Beatles and Summer of Love posters, all the colors around my desk, until the policy committee from Philly made their annual visit.  Then I could put the pictures back up again.
“But this time, they’ve gotta stay down.  The policy committee is coming down hard on us – they think we’re way too casual here in California.”
“What?  But then maybe we can get some professional artwork here – there is none.” I wasn’t letting it go that easily.  I knew it wasn't up to my office manager -- she'd always been completely supportive of me and respected my right to have the pictures up.
“Well – they don’t want to spend the money on artwork right now.  I’m sorry about this, really I am.  And they’re coming down about dress code too – no jeans except on dress-down Friday!”
I looked around at all my posters that surrounded me – all colorful and fun.  The Beatles, Summer of Love anniversary posters, colorful photo collages of my kids blended with good times.  All of it needed to come down…I had promised Laurie I’d have them down before Monday morning, and I made good on it, going in late Sunday evening and grumbling to myself the entire time I took down all of the pictures, and then I logged on to the computer to read the email from the managing partner who recommended we take down “anything that looks or might seem offensive,” and something about making our work area look professional at all times should a perspective or existing client wander through.
Ohhh, those Beatles, summer of love and especially that beautiful “Imagine” poster were pretty offensive all right, I thought bitterly as I rolled up the larger posters and gathered up the smaller ones.  It was 90 degrees in the office because the air conditioning wasn’t on, and I got out of there as soon as I could – not realizing that I also had to take down all the sunset photos and even the picture collages of my family because they didn’t look “professional” enough.
When I got home, I ran into my bedroom and threw all of my posters on my bed and plopped down on it.
“What’s wrong Mom?”  Megan came in – she had seen me run by.  “And what are these doing here?”
“They made me take it all down – all of it!”
“Forever?  What the -- ?”
“Yeah, forever.  I just can’t do it anymore.  I don’t wanna work for that greedy company anymore!  The partners make a half million a year, and they lay good people off and now this!  No Beatles posters!”  I just didn’t get it.  I mean, they’d been hung up for a couple of years.  All the attorneys loved my posters.  People who visited would come by my desk just to look at them and one time an engineer actually gave me a record display of the Beatles’ Abbey Road to add to the decore.
“But Mom, where will we live if you don’t go to work?”
That’s all it took.
When I looked at Megan, I didn’t see my 16-year-old daughter, but I saw my little girl Megan with the bright red hair, freckles and big brown eyes – the Megan I remembered when we went through all those hard times and sometimes I didn’t even know if we’d have a place to live, when we had to stay at the Tav Cam Inn in Porterville and run a cord across the street for electricity.
“Okay!” I said.  I jumped up and went to my closet to pick out some black pants – no more jeans during the week at work even though I only had one pair of jeans that fit me right now.  All of my black pants were too big for me which happens when you lose some weight, so I just found a belt to wear with them – to heck with going out to buy new clothes.
So even though I go in to bare, bright white walls at work, I still have a job.  The attorneys were all up in arms.  “Where are your posters?”
“Had to take ‘em down.  Talk to the big wigs!” I said.
But taking down the Beatles posters did not stop Beatles music magic from happening.

Stevie (my big boy) and me -- the day after his 28th b-day!

The Friday after taking down all of my posters was my son Stevie’s 28th birthday, so I dashed over to Rasputtin Records during lunch hour to pick up some presents on his “birthday list.”  I was pleasantly surprised to hear Beatles music blasting throughout the store as I walked in – the first time that had ever happened considering most of the employees, if not all, at Rasputtin are pretty young.  Usually, the music playing is either some weird hip hop stuff, or maybe some new rock or some music I’d never heard before.
“Good taste in music!” I said, as I walked by the front counter.  “I’ll bet it’s the Beatles 1 CD, right?”
“Yes, it is.” A tattooed bearded guy behind the counter said.
 
I picked up the Beatles “Blue 1967-1970 double CD album for CD, a Phish CD and a blu ray movie – perfect, loitering in the store for as long as possible to enjoy the Beatles music and check out all the classic rock music. 
 
On Saturday, we celebrated Stevie’s birthday – barbecuing down by the pool on a beautiful sunny afternoon – a much more subdued party than the one we’d had three weeks before for Jeremy’s 25th birthday, a surprise party which had turned into a 12-hour party.  That was because Stevie and his friends had all been on a “party bus” in San Francisco, and everyone was “recovering” from that.  But it was still fun.
That Sunday, I was taking the dog for a walk, and when I heard the guitar music and the singing, nothing spectacular, yet so beautiful, I had to stop and check it out.
So I peered through the wire gate of the pool and I saw that guy sitting there playing guitar and singing, his guitar chords reverberating through the complex and he looked so young, and that big smile on his face practically dazzled me. He was young, I thought, hearing him sing, and then I yelled, “Know any more Beatles songs?”
He smiled and waved at me and immediately started playing, “Hey Jude” and next thing you know, I was singing along from across the pool, not caring who heard me or who didn’t hear me – and I’m sure too many people must’ve heard us since the pool is kinda in the middle of the apartment complex.
So young, I thought—just as I’d thought so many times when I’d meet a gorgeous younger man who was way out of my league – finding myself wishing I was younger and thinner, and that I was as fit as those people I work out with in the fitness room – me trudging away at my 3.1 mile-per-hour pace on the elliptical machine while burly muscular men grunt and lift weights and spry young women and men literally run on the treadmill machines, going faster and faster.
But I am who I am, that’s all there is to it, and I’ve lost 30 pounds, while others fight to lose that last five pounds to 110. But I feel as if I’ve accomplished this huge feat, just to say I’m a size 16 now and that I don’t have to wear Double X shirts anymore.
All those weird thoughts ran through my mind as I peered through the fence at this beautiful man singing and playing guitar, feeling as if he was serenading to me directly, wooing me…when actually he was just sitting there chilling and playin’ guitar on a beautiful sunny spring day. Can’t blame him for that. I wanted to get closer to him, but one part of me was afraid. I felt giddish, like a kid – and when I looked at the guy, I felt as if I could see inside his soul, like he’d opened it up just for me.
Finally, the dog made the decision for me. She became impatient sitting there while I sang, so she managed to squeeze through the fence to the other side into the pool area, and she sat there staring up at me, and all I could do was let go of the leash and walk all the way around to where the gate opened to get the dog. A young guy lying by the pool had grabbed her leash for me so she wouldn’t run off too far – the same guy that clapped for me and the guy when we both sang Hey Jude, hehe!
When I walked into the pool area, the guitar singing man waved and said, “Come over and jam with me!”
So I took a deep breath and walked over there. And I saw that the man I had seen as golden and all shiny actually had more than a few wrinkles and gray hair. I guessed he was Philiphino although I have to admit I’m not good at guessing people’s nationalities.
He smiled that big winning smile and said, “Come here, sit down,” and suddenly began strumming John Lennon’s Imagine. Of course I recognized the song right away and began to softly sing.
“Beautiful!” the man said. Then he held out his hand to me, “I’m Noah, and I’m here visiting my daughter over there!”
He pointed to his daughter, a beautiful young girl whom I’d ironically met the day before when me and the kids barbecued by the pool.
“Cool.” I introduced myself as well and shook his hand, which felt so warm and inviting. It didn’t matter one single bit what he looked like on the outside – all I could see was what was on the inside, a warm, young, kind soul.
And when I said, “You know, I was seven when they arrived, the Beatles, you know…and…”


Noah smiled. “And I was 13!”
Okay, now I knew he could see into my soul.  I had made a new friend.
I waved good-bye because my friend Vikki was on her way to pick me up, and we were going to the Shoreline to see a concert, the “KihnCert,” and I have no idea when or if I’ll ever see Noah again.
Vikki and I were on a mission to do one thing – get tickets for reserved seating.  We decided against lawn tickets at the last minute, so she dropped me off in front of the ticket place and went off to find parking, and I bought tickets to the second level section for the concert – Greg Kihn Band, 38 Special, REO Speedwagon and Styx.

 
We both yelled, “We’re in!” in unison when we got through the gate with our tickets – what fun.  And what a fabulous concert with such good energy.  I was really impressed with all the bands.  Greg Kihn Band just did a few songs, and they didn’t do “Madison Avenue Man” which is my favorite.  The other bands were all fantastic, and REO Speedwagon performed all of my favorites and did not disappoint – I was amazed at how REO Speedwagon and Styx still put on a show that probably would have been similar to the ones they’d do back in the day.  And I was really amazed and so happy when Styx performed a Beatles song, “paying homage to the masters of classic rock,” I Am the Walrus.  Absolutely amazing.  Then at the very end, REO Speedwagon and Styx performed a song together called “Can’t Stop Rockin.”  It was a great performance.


It was hard to go back to work after the long weekend, but of course I did, greeted by bare white walls.
When I got home from work, Megan ran up to me and said, “Mom, check this out.”
I followed her into my bedroom and looked around – Megan had hung all of my Beatles pictures and summer of love pictures, and posters in my bedroom – the ones that had been hung up at work.  They looked so cool there and now I can see them every morning when I awake and every night when I go to sleep.
Now, that’s Beatles magic.
Currently listening:
Hey Jude
By The Beatles
May 8, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  blissful
Category: Life
 

“C’mon you can do it!” Stevie and Megan shouted as we reached a creek that we had to cross on the hiking trail.

 

It was all my fault that we were on the trail – it always is, like when we walked down at Land’s End last July, me, daughter Megan and my friend Heidi’s daughter Julie who was visiting from Washington. Julie had never been to San Francisco, and she loved to hike, so we took her down to Land’s End where the ocean meets the bay. It was my fault that we went off the main path, past a sign that said, “Danger! People have fallen to their deaths on this trail!” to show them the old trails we used to climb as kids and teenagers, the more rustic dangerous trails perilously close to the cliffs, and sometimes we’d have to climb around rocks just to continue on the trail. Now the paths are much safer and higher up with stairs built up in places that were especially dangerous.
I remember looking out at the ocean and the old paths etched into the sides of cliffs and imagining that at one time I had walked those trails. That’s when Megan and Julie discovered that if we just climbed this one little cliff, we could bypass going up at least 150 steps and then back down again – a major short cut. They climbed the cliff easily and looked down at me from above.

 

“C’mon Mom, you can do it!” Megan shouted – I could see her face and her bright red hair.

“I know people in their 50’s who run marathons!” Julie, who was around the same age as my older kids, shouted. “It’s okay – it’s not hard!”
As I looked over at the perilous cliff, I thought – this might as well be Mt. Everest, but then I realized that Megan had climbed the cliff, not just the cliff at Land’s End, but she had just returned from Rehab in Washington. And she made it to the top safely.
If she could do it, so could I.

“Okay.” I began climbing, one step at a time. I could smell the dirt and the tree roots and salt and sand as I managed to get my foot into what I at least thought might be a safe place.

“Yaaayyy, c’mon Mom!”

I took it one step at a time – don’t look down, I thought, do not look down. If I looked down, that was it, I was doomed.

I pulled myself up one step at a time feeling aches and pains in my hips and I could smell my own sweat and finally, after what seemed like ages, I saw Julie’s hand thrust forward. “C’mon, it’s okay!” and she and Megan managed to pull me up.
I had to stop and breathe and my hands smelled like sand and dirt, but I felt exhilarated, like a kid who had just mastered a huge feat, as we all stood there at the cliff and looked out at the ocean.
 

So on Sunday, it was my idea to go for a walk or hike for mother’s day instead of going out to eat. I sent a text to the kids, to which Stevie replied, “Let’s go to Mt. Tam!”
I hadn’t been to Mt. Tamalpias in years, since the days when my sister and I would hike up and down the mountain for miles and miles.

 

I should have known better, but noooo! I told Stevie, okay, I’m game and I drove over to Mt. Tam with my daughter Megan and her boyfriend, and met them someplace in a state park parking lot. When I saw Stevie with his hiking back pack with food and water in it and his girlfriend Liezl with a small pag strapped to the side, I knew this wasn’t just a stroll. No, this was going to be a hike – a real hike.

 

So at first it was glorious walking down a beautiful trail through the woods, until Stevie decided to go off the path and climb upwards and I stood and watched and said, “I don’t think so!”

And then we reached some treacherous parts of the path where you had to expertly balance on rocks to cross creeks – why us? Why weren’t we on the “easy” trail where all you had to do was walk?

And everyone would be on the other side and say, “You can do it,” and Stevie and Josh held out their hands to help me across.

Who would have known that my mother’s day “walk” would turn into an at least 5-mile hike at Mt. Tam? But it was worth it, especially when the path led us out of the woods into the open and we felt as if we were in Ireland or someplace like it surrounded by rolling green hills – we could smell the tall grass and – the ocean. There was the entire Pacific Ocean stretched before us and the outer part of San Francisco as well – the Land’s End area, outer Richmond, and the unmistakable Sutro Tower up on a hill, close to where my daughter lives now. It took my breath away.

But that last mile on the return hike, that last mile when every muscle I had and every muscle I didn’t know I had ached as I trudged onward, behind everyone who shouted,

“C’mon Mom – just a fourth of a mile to go – you can do it!”
Currently listening:
Abbey Road
By The Beatles
Release date: 1990-10-25
March 20, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  creative
Category: Writing and Poetry
    
I've made life-long friends at the IWWG Remember the Magic Conference over the past 10 years -- and now I teach a workshop called "Computer Whiz Magic" each year.
   
Megan finds her "Voice" once again and shares it with everyone...that's what happens to everyone at "Remember the Magic"

The "magic" of the IWWG brought my 16-year-old daughter back -- she's writing every day now -- she's been going to "Remember the Magic" with me in New York since she was 12.  I watched my daughter blossom from a young girl to a young lady, basking in the warmth of the magic...
Hear the voices of "Remember the Magic" and the International Women's Writing Guild.

In these times, it's more urgent than ever -- come one, come all, no matter who you are or where you come from -- we creative women must unite!  Bring yourselves, and your daughters if you have them...

This year I was reminded why it's so important for me to travel all the way from California to New York for the
International Women's Writing Guild Remember the Magic conference at Saratoga Springs, New York.  This will be my 10th year in a row.

Some years I've wondered how I was going to make it -- as a single mom with four kids struggling to make ends meet, some years getting to
Remember the Magic seemed downright insane, but somehow, some way, I did it...

And now, the legacy continues with my 16-year-old daughter -- and I now witness first-hand how the IWWG and "Remember the Magic" has transformed her life as well...and each and every day I'm so grateful for that.  And it's the magic of the
International Women's Writing Guild that brought me and my daughter back together once again, in its own subtle way, seeping into our lives and shining bright.

Just imagine at least 400 women all together in one place, living in a unique eutopia filled with creativity, warmth and joy. 

Check out what these women have to say about it by clicking here.

It all actually began 10 years ago when a friend of mine dragged me to an early spring conference in the Santa Cruz mountains of California, close to where I live.  It was a wonderful experience and I met the most amazing women -- and everyone talked about the "magic" of the big "Remember the Magic" conference in New York.  I wondered what it was all about and decided that I could use as much "magic" in my life as possible.  Megan was only six or seven at the time, and she wanted to go with me to experience the magic as well, but I told her she was too young, but one day she would be old enough to travel with me, I said, traveling to New York for the first time in my life alone to a "Remember the Magic" IWWG conference -- that was in 2000.

and what an amazing experience that was!  I have never missed a year since then, even the years when we struggled and I wondered how the heck I'd get to New York.  And every year my Megan would say, "Is it time yet?"

And in 2005, I finally took Megan with me -- she was 12, and I had begun teaching the computer class -- when Megan found her "voice" through the letter-writing workshop and learned how to dance with a beautiful fan...her life, as she's told me, has never quite been the same again.

Last year Megan didn't make it to the early spring or the "Remember the Magic" conference -- she went through a rough time in her life, and had to travel on a journey of her own to Rehab, and by the time it was over, I was an emotional wreck as well...yet so grateful for all the wonderful support I received from the "Remember the Magic" conference, and still managing to have yet another unique and profound experience as I did every year.

After all was said and done, I found myself wondering if Megan would ever attend with me once again, and the "magic" began when she announced that she would go to the Early Spring conference in the Santa Cruz mountains and "let's take it from there."  Suddenly, at age 16, she had a mind of her own.

   

So we departed for the Santa Cruz mountains for now my 10th year attending the early spring IWWG conference in the Redwoods...with Megan.  We shared a cabin with a Grandma and her Granddaughter, and Megan and the granddaughter connected...

We listened to the workshop directors, and we wrote and wrote -- and shared our voices...hearing one another.

And, the most amazing thing happened.  Each time a workshop director asked if someone could share, Megan would raise her hand and say, "Me, me!"  It was as if the flood gates had just opened up and she was ready to share her words, because she felt safe...

Next thing I knew, Megan wanted to read.  At Skidmore, you read in front of hundreds of people -- for three minutes, the spotlight is on you.  Megan and I both knew it well.

Now Megan is looking forward to going to "Remember the Magic" IWWG at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, New York as much as I am.  She wants to share her words, her life...she is all too familiar with the "magic."  She wants to discuss her writing project with people -- and I see Megan write every single day, whether it's in a notebook or on the computer.  At the rate she's going, she'll publish her first book by the time she's 18! 

As I am.  Over the years, I've become so much more confident in myself as a person and as a writer thanks to my annual journey east, but the most important thing that happened is, I got my daughter back. 

And you can't put a price tag on that.

All you've gotta do is show up to feel the magic, to hear the words and share the words, to bask in the warmth of so many other creative, insightful people...to dance to drums and music, and sing -- and to share and learn.

These women know -- they'll tell you (click here).

The early spring IWWG conference, as usual, was amazing.

    

 

 
Sharing our lives, sharing our words...
 

     
Sharing the stories of our lives...all generations...

 


      
         
Hear the words all around us...share the words...
            
          

So many voices filling the air...can you hear them? 

Someone played "Unwritten" one morning while at the early spring conference, and then next thing I knew everyone was dancing...that's just part of the magic!

Natasha Bedingfield Lyrics
"Unwritten"

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Currently listening:
Imagine
By John Lennon
Release date: 2000-04-11
March 1, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  breezy
Category: Life
The Baylands...as the sun sets
So I started taking Sydney-the-Dog to a small dog beach event that happens every single Saturday morning at Ocean Beach in San Francisco.  There's a part of the beach where you can let your dogs off the leash, and all these people with their small dogs show up so they can all play together.  It's really fun.

The new year also brought about some sad times as several of my coworkers and colleagues were laid off...yes, the recession has even hit the law firms here in the San Francisco Bay Area, and it was tough to watch some of my attorney friends leave, including the best attorney I ever worked for -- who got me the job at the law firm I'm at now.  One of the attorneys told me about the small dog event at the beach on Saturday mornings.  She owns a black Havanese dog named Harry who really likes our Sydney.

I discovered that Sydney LOVES the beach and just about goes nuts running around there.

     
I found that early mornings was definitely the best time to be at the beach... 

 
Sydney on the beach -- and Pascale and my sister Jennifer with their little doggie, Katie!



the waves are perfect for the surfers, and I watched several of them actually ride the waves...I take off my shoes and get my feet wet...
   
Sydney and Harry Love Each Other!
My friend Lynn and Harry and her husband -- now in NYC.  I miss Lynn a lot, but she's doing well where she's at now and Megan and I plan to visit when we're in NY in June.

     
Josh and Megan went with me and we walked down at Land's End...


Currently listening:
Here Comes The Sun: A Reggae Tribute To The Beatles
By Various Artists
Release date: 2009-04-30
February 25, 2009 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  excited
Category: Life
  
It's been way too long since I've updated my blog...and now here it is already, just about the end of May.

This year so far has been a time of new beginnings, of revisiting the past, and coming back to the present. In January, I became hooked on Creative Caffeine, stumbling out of bed first thing every morning and writing via a prompt every week day morning.  Some mornings, I barely have enough time to write with my daughter Megan yelling, "Mom!  What are you doing?  We're going to be late!"

Now I have well over 50,000 words of writings to work with, and some pieces have developed to much more than first-draft Creative Caffeine pieces, and there's no way I can stop.  (if you scroll through the Creative Caffeine blog site, you'll find some of my musings in there).

But write I must, every morning...I've been a part of Creative Caffeine for months now, thanks to our barista Janis Cooke-Newman, and now I'm totally addicted!  Then, I began a quest, a journey if you will, to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle and so far, I've managed to lose over 25 pounds and I already feel a lot better.

In January, a new President was inaugurated, and I was home from work with a toothache on inauguration day, January 20th. 

In honor of the inauguration of Barrack Obama, Megan and I decided to bake a special vanilla almond cake, using the same recipe that Mary Todd Lincoln used to bake for Abe Lincoln, and Obama is a big fan of Abraham Lincoln.

Megan said she could get credit at school for baking this special cake - not only for cooking but because of the historical significance of it.

So we got the recipe from the article which Janis Cooke Newman sent us related to the special recipe here.

Megan and I aren't exactly stellar in the kitchen, so baking the cake required much preparation.  First, I had to get a flour sifter at the store, which I didn't own, as well as a special bundt pan and a couple of cooking utensils.

On the morning of January 20th, after we watched Barrack Obama become president, we began to prepare for baking the special cake from scratch, something I don't even remember doing -- it had been that long.

I told Megan to make sure and rub loads of butter on the bundt pan and then put loads of flour into the pan so the batter wouldn't stick, so flour flew all over the kitchen and landed on the countertops and on the floor and somehow on Megan's face as well.

I began mixing ingredients, and I had a batter that was so hard I could barely mix it -- I realized we didn't have an electric mixer, but then we figured that Mary Todd Lincoln probably didn't have an electric mixer either, so Megan and I took turns mixing the batter until our arms ached.

Then there was the issue of making the almond slivers into powder.  the recipe talked about some wooden thing that could be used.  What the heck?  Luckily, I found this small food processor thingie that Stevie and Liezl had left at our place a year or two ago, and we tried putting the almond slivers into that -- it worked perfectly!

But then the big issue that came up in the recipe were the egg whites -- something about separating the egg whites from the yokes and then mixing them until they peaked?  What the heck did that mean?  We had no idea.

As Megan continued to mix the batter, now with the powdered almonds, I went through a dozen eggs attempting to "separate" the egg whites from the yokes, not an easy task.  I had called my son Stevie up in a panic -- Stevie knows how to cook.  He assured me that it was easy to separate egg yokes from whites, and that "peaked" meant that the whites kind of "stood up?"

Well, it wasn't easy -- I figured I'd have a lot of egg yokes left over for scrambled eggs or something.

I mixed and mixed the egg whites, but they never looked like they peaked, so I just said, whatever and I threw it into the batter mixture and Megan said it was a heck of a lot easier to mix with the egg whites in it.  Finally, after what seemed like ages, we both poured the mixture into the "floured" bundt pan and carefully placed the pan into the preheated oven.

We kept watching to see what was happening while the cake cooked, and I had these horrible images that the cake would somehow stick to the pan because even the author of the article who tried baking the cake as well said she had trouble with that.

The smell of the almond vanilla cake baking in the oven filled the entire apartment and smelled so good -- and Megan and I both imagined it was the same smell that filled the White House whenever Mary Todd Lincoln baked that cake back in the 1800's.  and as the cake baked in the oven, we watched all the events happening at the White House in honor of the new President.

      

We took the cake out of the oven after an hour and let it cool, and then finally Megan flipped the cake over on to a large plate, and it fell out of the pan perfectly!  It didn't stick at all, and it looked like the most perfect cake we'd ever seen, a work of art!

We were both amazed. 

The cake wasn't burnt, and we didn't set off the fire alarms or anything!

and it tasted delicious!
  
Currently listening:
Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits
By Bob Dylan
Release date: 1999-06-01