a work in progress. life.
its like you have all the pieces aligned and all the corners together and  BAM  its a totally different story. things change. like a torando came thru and placed your pieces everywhere. some hidden, some stuck to the ceiling..and in a split second your life will never be the same.
its like standing on concrete and all the sudden it turns into quick sand pulling you under and your now struggling to keep alive. its horrilbe. rough.
what then?
what do you do whe your three feet under and sinking and to top it off your being thrusted buy the wind thats now racing at a thousand miles an hour right into your face.
what now?
give up? let it take you?
ha. fight.
punch the sand in the throat and get your ass out of there.
thats what a heart like mine does.
it will pick up the peices left of the big picture thrown everywhere by the tornado and start to put the puzzle back together again. i may never touch all these peices ecspecially the ones on the ceiling. we all know im short. but i will fight for this. love. ive had life changing revelations in my time spent alone. dependent on being selfish i thought of me. i found my way out and im gonna take it but this way lets me hold onto you. i wont sink i will fight. some things i know for certin..i will not let go.


you are her.. and i am hopelessly head over heals inlove with the jerk. and you know what? your my jerk. and i love you with all my heart. i needed to stop being so selfish and remebering how it used to be..all i want to do now is create a future full of laughs and amazing memories. i dont want the past any more..shes gone and ive never been more happy in my life to have someone gone. i compared you to her for way to long that i lost sight of the real you, the one i love. please forgie me. i will never ever do that again. i want and need you. badly. there was never any growing apart..it was a stupid way out of the fighting and we took it. mistake.
i hope that you see thru the words and listen to the meaning in this. i hope. forever. please?
and
i hope you relize what i relized. if not.. well i dont know the if not part. i guess ill end up sinking..