Imagine the following... You are one of the folks on the ark with Noah. You're not Noah. You're one of the people that's keeping him company in the ark with all the animals and junk and crap and noise and whatever and whatnot and the like and such. The whole place is flooded but no one cares because... the whole place is flooded and there's nothing going on anyways.

And, then the ark comes to a rest on what you think is dry land, but when the waters recede, you're actually precariously perched on the peak of the highest mountain on Earth and then when you've all figured out how to get the ark to stop teetering and are about to exit the ark, it snows like friggin' crazy!

What do you do?

You slide! You slide down the mountain on your butt. That's what you do.

When the "Virtual Insanity" video was first broadcast, it was the talk of the MTV world and how could it not be so? It's got everything--a racially ambiguous guy moonwalking or something quite similar in urban chic clothing in a space that could only be one of two things: a colossal walk-in closet outfitted by IKEA or a mausoleum. The viewer's perception of the space as one or the other is wholly related to their ever having seen a walk-in closet outfitted by IKEA, an experience in and of itself.

The big crux of the brouhaha about the video was the method by which they attained the effect of the moving floor. Much to everyone's surprise, it wasn't the floor. It was the walls! Some of the furniture was anchored to the walls, some of it to the floor and the walls? Well,... they weren't anchored at all.

And, the effects? A group of people on the other side of the walls, pushing, pulling and turning the structure.

Brilliant!

Why am I writing about this? Well, as I sit here in this quaint coffee shop with exposed brick walls that puts me in the mind of a place I used to live and once hosted a visit from someone who resembles Jamiroquai's frontman, I spied another patron moving a piece of furniture that resembles the furniture in the video and well... Voila!

Parlor tricks. Blogging secrets revealed, I tell you!

Have you ever had so much attention focused on you that you couldn't say or do anything without it affecting the entire viewable sphere of existence? No? Oh, well, you're really missing out on something. You've got to experience that at least once in your lifetime.

For instance... Here's Lindsay Lohan. She's having a bit of difficulty.



Look at her sister Ali's face--filled with confusion, uncertainty. What is Lindsay doing? She's trying to shut the car door and this is news. There's a camera right there.

It's hilarious. And, strange.

I look at this picture and I wonder (well, not really but it sounds good) if when she auditioned for her first print advertisement or whatever and the like and such did she realize that success would mean the inability to, or the repeated obstruction of her ability to, simply shut the car door?

That's how I feel these days. I've finally completed that LSAT exam thingy-ma-doo but all the stuff that was associated with the road to the exam is sort of lingering about. It's there... holding the car door open and the little *ding* *ding* *ding* sound that the car makes when the door is open is incessant and the friggin' "door is open" light is blinking and it's all like, "Who's holding the door open and stuff, meng?"

Now that the exam is over, of course it's not as big a "thing" as it was during the anticipation of it all. It's sort of anticlimactic but in the most peaceful of ways. It's the same sort of sensation you get when you've checked luggage at the airport and you're so fed up of the packing and whatever process that you don't care what's in the bag anymore. "Did I pack my Pez dispenser?" You don't care about it at that stage. You're just relieved to be en route.

Examine Lindsay's facial expression. Imagine the sense of relief she'll experience when she finally gets that car door shut.

Simple pleasures.

This is the same dynamic with many things in life. After awhile, things just stop mattering to you. There are lot's of reasons why that would happen but the reasons are not so important as the fact that it happens. Eventually, things stop mattering so much.

A great example is when you have a cold. When you have that cold, it's miserable, but the first day you don't have those cold symptoms, it's as if you never had a cold. You forget it immediately. It's truly inspiring.

But that doesn't happen so often with animosity. When someone hates you, the hate just keeps going. It doesn't just stop. It tends to spiral outward, thickening and simmering. In that situation, it really doesn't matter what you do, you can't change the other person or persons or whatever. Their hatred of you is not like a cold. The hater doesn't have the same instant forgetting experience that you as the target of the hatred would have.

I wonder, I ponder who is holding that door open that Lindsay is trying to close?

Hilarious and strange.

I've arrived at the conclusion that this is how we determine what actually matters in life. In other words, "What still matters to you after all the aggravation?"

For example, where are Lindsay and Ali intending to go in this vehicle? Do they still want to go to the destination after all the crap with trying to get the door shut?

That's what matters in life.

After all this rigmarole (or however you spell that word) I'm excited about law school. Who knew?!

I don't know where Lindsay and Ali are supposed to be going, but I imagine it to be something like In and Out Burger or some other west coast chain.

Law school. In and Out Burger. It's comparable (Of course it's not, I'm kidding).

Have you ever experienced a moment when you managed to glimpse a clear view of yourself? Your true self?

If you've had the experience you'd know what I'm referring to right now. It's a strange sensation. Startling. Everything else sort of fades into the background and the only thing you see is... you.

I've had this experience several times in my life. It's always fun and by "fun" I mean indescribably exhilarating and frightening.

One of the most amusing examples occurred at Cafe Wha? in New York City. The only thing I recall about the band my cousin and I had the pleasure of experiencing was the fact that it was led by Cheryl Pepsi Riley and she made that song, "Thanks for My Child" and that they had a great Irish drummer dude. Oh, and the guest vocalist had an incredible voice and really didn't need the mic to be heard in the venue.

That's all I remember about the live music experience because it wasn't the high point of the evening for me. The high point of the evening was the discovery of my true self... again... in an unusual setting.

I'll explain.

Cafe Wha? is a cramped venue. They have a stage and tables for eating the food they serve, etc, all together in that cramped space. Everybody was rocking out to the music, enjoying their food and--dare I say--dancing in the single, narrow aisle used for the exit, the serving of food, entry to the restrooms, etc.

In the midst of the revelry, excitement and joy all I could think was, "Do they have a cabaret license?" Of course, this led to other thoughts such as fire codes, the rights clearance on the music they were performing and the bane of all live music venues: noise ordinance!

Sigh.

My face was broadcasting something unrecognizable, prompting my cousin to inquire, "What's the haps?"

In a whisper, I said, "I don't think they have a cabaret license..."

"Probably not," she quipped in her legal secretary monotone drone.

The idea that Cafe Wha? did not possess a cabaret license was only of interest to her because "cabaret license" could be something that she might have to type in correspondence one day. It was of interest to me because I was thinking of ways to get the venue in compliance.

My cousin is a legal secretary. I'm an attorney.

Do you recognize yourself when you manifest?

Jill expands on the meaning of "Golden"



During my adventure in Seattle, Jill Scott blessed Benaroya Hall with her presence and considerable talent in a live performance that exceeded everyone's expectations to the point of stunned silence.

Just to give you an idea of how she shares her talent, she appeared on stage in a denim button down shirt, a fish-tail skirt and short boots with the beginnings of the afro she's rocking in this video. The afro she's sporting here is the product of a hair dryer. On the night of the Benaroya Hall performance, it was au natural. The make-up was understated earth tones. Gorgeous and casual... in Benaroya Hall. That's where the philharmonic performs. She was dressed casually... with an afro.

She opened the show with an up-tempo arrangement of "The Way". Imagine if the Red Hot Chili Peppers covered "The Way".

The crowd was stunned.

She gave them a speech similar to the one she delivers in this video about how she's an artist and she knows that they want to hear the music exactly as it sounds on the album but she's expressing herself and we were all there for art, etc.

Stunned silence.

An incredible talent. Not a shred of propriety. Gorgeous. I was grinning the entire show.

She wrote that song "He Loves Me" about the guy she married, Lyzel. It was a big, chart topping single and then... she dumped him.

It just goes to show you that art is not the same as life. It's like a photograph.

She must give that lecture about art before every performance.