I didn’t want to go too long without another installment of my countries-of-the-world diatribe. So here goes…

Gabon – Gabonese Republic –

          One of France’s former bitches on the African Atlantic coast, Gabon is blessed with abundant natural resources. Unfortunately, they have taken a page out of the US financing handbook and believe massive debt is the way to go. *sigh* At least their government is stable with “president for life” El Hadj Omar Bongo Ondimba at the helm. Of course, it’s a dictatorship masquerading as a democracy, but they did abolish capital punishment. So, you can’t get shot for challenging the government. Just jailed. Forever.

          I won’t FAIL this country only due to its stable government and good income. It is close, though.

Gambia, The – Republic of The Gambia –

          THE Gambia? How about THE little country, the size of two Delawares stacked on end, that is full of promise, but has a dickhead for a coup happy “president”, who has a free market but no free speech, and that should really just not worry about which kook is running the show but rather get on with life. Oh well. FAIL. Gambia could easily be taken over by a smattering of Rhode Island Coast Guard reservists, but insists that the military coup in 1994 was a great thing. It wasn’t. Just a bunch of asshats who got tired of being beat at the polls every year. Grrr. Rewriting your constitution doesn’t help. Senegal, which surrounds this country by the Gambia River in Western Africa, should just take it from them.

Georgia –

Georgia, Georgia,

The whole day through

Just an old sweet song

Keeps Georgia on my mind

I’m say Georgia

Georgia

A song of you

Comes as sweet and clear

As moonlight through the pines

Other arms reach out to me

Other eyes smile tenderly

Still in peaceful dreams I see

The road leads back to you

I said Georgia,

Ooh Georgia, no peace I find

Just an old sweet song

Keeps Georgia on my mind

Other arms reach out to me

Other eyes smile tenderly

Still in peaceful dreams I see

The road leads back to you

Georgia,

Georgia,

No peace, no peace I find

Just this old, sweet song

Keeps Georgia on my mind

I said just an old sweet song,

Keeps Georgia on my mind

I wish it was this Georgia. Unfortunately, it isn’t. USSR’s former bitch, Georgia continues to be Russia’s bitch. For some reason that I cannot fathom, Russia is just obsessed with messing with Georgia. I have already talked about Abkhazia and Ajaria, which are “autonomous regions”, but in reality, Georgia is splintered and will never go back together. Rife with the scars of a bloody civil war after the USSR fell, this region is full of racism and nationalism. They are prosperous only when Russia allows them, which has been less and less of recent. Russians can’t let the past go, and Russia hates to see former states do better than them. Georgia will eventually be dismantled and taken over by Russia in the next 10 years.

Germany – Federal Republic of Germany –

          It’s funny. One of the reasons the National Socialist German Workers Party (Nazi) came to power in Germany before World War 2 is that the people felt humiliated and beaten after World War 1. They had lost their pride. After their defeat in 1945 and the subsequent rebuilding under the Marshall plan, they have evolved into the global powerhouse that they are today. They are proud now, and they should be. Tolerant social policies, a good economy, even with the constant rebuilding of the former East German areas, strong defense forces, and world renowned quality in consumer goods, Germany is greater than they have ever been. It goes to show that land accumulation does not a great country make. Kudos to you Germany and I hope to visit my ancestral homeland soon.

Ghana – Republic of Ghana –

          Not much to say here other than that this Western African nation has figured out democracy works, has had several exchanges of power peacefully, and sits on a lot of natural resources. Not as poor as its neighbors, but steadily improving. Good job and keep it up.

Gibraltar (UK overseas territory) –

          A nice little UK territory, Gibraltar is happy even though Spain isn’t. Oh well. Funny how the surviving UK territories usually prefer British rule. I guess the ones who didn’t aren’t under British influence anymore. So be it. I should visit some time as these folks seem downright friendly. One minus: Monkeys (Barbary Macaques).

Greece – Hellenic Republic –

          I have been here once. I loved it. Greeks work harder and longer than any other Euro. And they know how to party when the day is done. I enjoyed every second I was there, and hope to return at some point in the future. I will always speak fondly of my Hellenic friends.

Greenland (Self-governing country in the Kingdom of Denmark) –

          Well, this place should be a country by June 2009. Good for them. Not much to speak about this place. It is cold, rocky, and sparsely populated. May be fun to visit….once.

Grenada –

          A nice island in the Caribbean, which almost always guarantees my favor, Grenada had a few coups in the day. Once they got rid of their Marxist ideas, they have become quite hospitable. A few hurricanes sure put the wallop on them, but they survived and are prospering.

Guam – Territory of Guam (US organized territory) –

          Small, hot, and somewhat isolated in the Western Pacific, Guam should be paradise. Well, almost. The 3^rd Marine Expeditionary Force is slated to move in in 2010, and that’s gonna add 25% more people. Great. Marines are great in a fight, but don’t necessarily the best visitors, which is partially why they’re leaving Okinawa. Oh well. Have/had some friends there, and they loved it at first, but miss the mainland eventually.

Guatemala – Republic of Guatemala –

          Sounding more like a Tex-Mex dish than a country, Guatemala finally stopped its bloody civil war in 1996 and has gotten its act together. It still has a long way to go, as the highest source of foreign income comes from ex-patriot Guatemalans sending in remittance checks. Yes, they are a comically weird welfare state. Outside of that, and the hurricanes and earthquakes, it might be a nice place to visit. Keep working on it.

Guernsey – Bailiwick of Guernsey (British Crown dependency) –

          Betcha can’t find this place on a map unless you are a WW2 buff. Actually, they are part of the Channel Islands which are islands off of the French coast in the English Channel., so it really isn’t too hard. A weird, independent-dependant state exists, although it looks like they are gunning for their own sovereignty. Nice place, very picturesque, but too hung up on their own histories to hang around too long.

Guinea – Republic of Guinea –

          Equatorial Atlantic Africa…blah blah blah…military junta…blah blah blah…corrupt and disorganized…blah blah blah….rich in natural resources…blah blah blah…AIDS…blah blah blah…shithole…blah blah blah…Need I say more? I could probably copy this review and post it for most of Africa, ya know.

Guinea-Bissau – Republic of Guinea-Bissau –

          Equatorial Atlantic Africa…blah blah blah…coup happy…blah blah blah…corrupt and disorganized…blah blah blah….extremely poor…blah blah blah…AIDS…blah blah blah…shithole…blah blah blah…You sense a pattern here?

Guyana – Co-operative Republic of Guyana –

          Guyana is an agricultural state on the northern part of South America, right next door to Dumbo Chavez’s Venezuela. They FINALLY had peaceful elections last go around. Believe it or not, there is a movement inside that country that want to become a part of the United States. Wild. A poor country and it shows. Would visit, but not for very long.

L8rs-

Well, here I am on a Tuesday night. I, so far, have been keeping up with some of my New Year's improvement plans. I exercise on my bike 20 minutes a morning ( I said 3 x 30 min a week, so this is more. Besides, you need to work up to 30 when you are out of shape). I have set up my son's tank and finally solved my foaming issue on mine (was the chemicals...a few flushes and a different treatment solved it). So, things are going okay there.

I figured out that part of my distaste for my job is that I work solo all the time. Now, I like having that freedom, but it does alienate me from everyone else. I am not as close to anyone here as I was in my prior position. Makes slow days very, very lonely, and keeps me out of the office fun like lunches and gossip sessions. I need a little more human interaction. Besides, VAX machines are bitches and very stuck up.

I keep wandering over to You Tube to look at concealed carry videos. As you know, getting my CCP this year is a goal. I will probably purchase a small handgun soon to get used to it and get proficient. Problem there is that there aren't any "public" shooting ranges locally, and only one private place (members only blah blah blah). So, I am concerned how Joe Average practices shooting his firearm safely. It may be time for me to load up and find some salt marsh with no one around and a wooden backstop. Suggestions?

I keep this Yahoo messenger on, and I really don't know why anymore. Rarely do people message me outright, and if they do, its usually a barrage of those annoying audibles. Like that is cute. I try to strike up conversations with my online contacts, but it doesn't fly. I can't use Yahoo at work, and I am beginning to think that is a blessing.

I felt better today. I spent the whole day loading a program to the control systems. The load was a little bumpy, but I managed to solve all the issues on my own. I am proud of that. However, the program I wrote has some flaws that I couldn't see when I was simulating it. I asked a programmer friend of mine how they would handle it, and they had no clue. So tomorrow I will be searching for an answer and filing the necessary paperwork.

I recently found out a friend who was trying to get pregnant for many months has finally succeeded. Congratulations, and may your child be blessed with great health and fortune.

OK. Thats enough for an update.

L8rs

No, I think there is more going on. It could be I need an increase to my meds, but these meds aren’t anti-depressants per se, just some to spread out the manic/depressive mood swings. Maybe I should feel depressed, but I do not know why or for what reason.

A friend wrote to me about my last post. She pointed out the things I should be thankful for. She also identified ways to make myself feel better about my situation. It was so nauseously positive to the point that it took me several reads to take it all in so my mind wouldn’t shut down on optimism overload. And she is 100% right. Her advice is sound, flawless, and something I should consider. Thank you.

One of my problems, which exacerbates the depression, is that when I look at what I need to improve (let’s say the house), I see ALL the flaws and get frustrated because I cannot solve ALL of them. What therapists say is that you should pick one thing, one item, and focus solely on that item, solve it, and see it through 100%. The item should be reasonable (not like “Win Lotto”), doable (no like “rebuild house from scratch”), and has a short time to completion (not like “read every book at the library”). You’ll achieve immense satisfaction from solving the issue, and you’ll have one less thing off the list.

I have a hard time doing this. I see all the tasks being interconnected and I must complete all of them to complete one. It doesn’t help that I do so alone. My wife is great, but she is not my capable assistant.

So, I am trying to find one thing, one item I can improve, and hopefully this will start me down the road of improvement and possible happiness.

Looks like President-elect Obama is starting to renege on his campaign promises. And he is not even in office. Of course, the economy is to blame. *sigh*. It looks like we elected another politician, one that is full of promises but will bring only heartache.

I set up my son’s aquarium. We are waiting until the ammonia breaks down (nitrogen cycle) so we can add fish. Hopefully it will be this weekend. Yes, you fish-tank-purists, it will be a early. However, we’ll get a few hardy fish like Zebra Dannos.

MY tank is crapped up. Foamed up like crazy. I do not know if I had any weird residue in it (I didn’t use detergent, but had to use a chelant to get rid of severe calcium deposits). That tank uses an undergravel filter, so the two airstones make a ton of bubbles, and I have read that the water-prep I udes may cause the foam. The foam quickly goes away when I cut off the air, so I know it’s not a detergent residue. I did a 90% changeout, and the foam has not returned, however I haven’t added any chemicals. I think I will do another 90% changeout, treat it after 24 hours, and see where it goes. I am not in a hurry on this tank, so I will make sure I get it right.

I will be going to the Houston Gun Collectors Association show at Reliant Center this weekend. I can’t wait. I am looking for an 1895 Nagant pistol, preferably from the Tula armory ~1933 or so to match my 1933 Tula Mosin-Nagant 1891/30 rifle. Also on the shopping list would be a Bersa Thunder .380 ACP, a Mosin-Nagant M44, of course a M-1 Garand (preferably war issue), maybe a Makarov, possibly a Hi Point carbine, and maybe a .45 of some sort. Just depends on the deals. Of course, I can’t buy all of this at once. Whichever presents itself and is the best deal will get a purchase. My father-in-law will go with me, whom I am thrilled to go with. We haven’t had much bonding time, and I am looking forward to spending time with him.

My dad, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to want to spend any time with me, or us. Not to mention he made a really stupid and uninformed statement in an email. I wanted to debate the point, but it’s so off I just let it go. He is a hyper-intelligent man, so it surprised the hell out of me he made such a statement. I wonder if someone told him to write that, like my evil step-monster, er, mother. The subject is trivial, but just way off base.

No news from the bio-dad world. I hope his therapy and recovery from his stroke are going well. I sent them a Christmas card as I usually do, so hopefully they got to see our faces.

Well, enough of this for today.

L8rs-

So, as the new year is about to roll around, I thought I'd do a little reminiscing.

Before you go out and make new memories, you should always think on those past ones. Learn from the mistakes, expound on the correct actions, and learn from them.

I have been going through old photos I have and have compiled a mental list, a list of those who hold special places in my heart. These folks are not mere friends, but souls who have touched mine.

Of course, there is Chelsa, but I am fortunate to see her daily, and am very thankful for that. No, my list is populated by those whom I do not get to see everyday, or even once in a while it seems. Our paths have crossed, but they probably will not cross again. If they do, bonus, but it is not anticipated or expected.

First off, there is Rene'. I won't be using last names, so you'll just have to cope. Besides, since these are mainly women, their last name probably differs now from when I knew them. Anyway, Rene' was one of the first girls I really, fully, crushed on. For years. Now, it never was to be, and that is okay. We developed an awkward kind of friendship. We've never been close or anything, but she does occupy a soft spot in the ..ol ticker.

Robyn was my first girlfriend of any consequence, meaning, she is the proud recipient of my first kiss.

She broke my heart later, by means I was too naive to comprehend at the time. I just knew it was wrong. She did try to get back with me, but I turned her down. Who knows.

Betsy was never a girlfriend. I wanted her to be. We went out on one very hard-fought for date. Well, her and her sister and, like, the entire Brazoswood drama group. I would send her flowers, to no avail. So, my advances morphed into mutual respect. She is the only girl I regularly wrote to when I was in the Navy, mainly because I was not romantically tied to her. True, honest to Jeebus platonic friends. We attend each other's wedding, and have numerous, and somewhat humorous, stories to tell. I do miss her. She found the love of her life in college and is raising a beautiful family. I wish her well...

Andrea. We were too alike to be anything except volatile. But, there are a lot of cherished memories there. I still have that firetruck, as my son has taken a liking to it.

Angela. Even though she stabbed me in the back and lied to me and did her best to destroy my soul (and my faith in women), there will always be Greeley.

Both me & Chel miss Callie. We hope that where ever you are, you still think of us.

Mrs. Konvicka. She was like a second mom to me. She passed some years back, yet I never felt like I said good-bye to her properly. I miss her dearly.

And finally, there is Julie. She is more special than anyone to me outside of family. She is one of the kindest and most pure hearts on the planet, and I tried to destroy it with my philandering. She will always, always be that special other lady in my life, regardless of how our lives turn out. Thank you, Jules.

That's enough of the past. I will write more about what lies ahead in 2009.

l8rs-

Just a few quick things. Didn’t even write them in Word or OpenOffice Write….

 Well, I am sitting here with a pain in my lower back. You see, I had some chunks cut out of my hide to be biopsied this morning. I don’t like this feeling of waiting to see if I have cancer or not. This is different from all my colonoscopies. Yes, there that stuff was cancerous, but it was no big deal. I couldn’t see it, it didn’t hurt, and colon cancer grows so slowly that getting it very early made me feel great. Not this time. This hurts. The actually amount removed was relatively small. But, it still is painful. And it has me worried. I saw what skin cancer did to my uncle. It destroyed him. I don’t want that happening to me.

So, I have been down on myself. Had I not been on this medication, I’d probably be mired in a deep, dark depression. I ususally get into one about this time of year anyways. I think my problem is I read too much Faebook. So many people wanting to add me as a “friend”. These fucks wouldn’t give me the time of day in high school. What changed? Oh, I know. You are super succesful now. Jeebus, on eof em is a freakin Air Force test pilot. No freaking shit. He’s a good guy, but dayamn. What have I done in my life. He followed his dreams. I have not.

So, here I sit behind my desk, waiting for the clock to turn over, trying not to lean back in my chair. I finished three code issues, troubleshot another plant’s system problem, and have finalized all the paperwork necessary to do some code loads. I just have to wait until some engineers run theirs. *sigh*. I’d probably make a great engineer, but I have never given myself the chance.

I thought this job would be great. It is nice not having to deal with all the issues I once did. Unfortunately, I gave up a very, very high profile position for obscurity and less money. Hmmm. Oh, and you wannna talk about a glass ceiling? I have hit it.

So, I am bummed. It makes me tired, so I go home after work and nap. I really don’t care to wake up, except I do want to play with my son, so I make the effort. He’s a very charming and funny kid!

Oh, I did purchase my first firearm. Yuhp. Its a 1933 Mosin-Nagant 1891/30 rifle. It fires the 7.62×54R ammunition. I probably will never fire it (needs a good cleaning as it is in a preserved condition). Its great, though. A real WWII relic. I am going to get a Nagant pistol from the same period as well after the first of the year, and I am working up to getting into the CMP and getting a M-1 Garand. WWII weapons! Whoo hoo!

I hope to write more this evening.

L8rs-