Hmmmm, it's been quite a long while since I've posted, hasn't it?  I guess that I haven't felt that I had anything of particular interest to say.  For those of you not familiar with all the little "quirks" of myspace, if you actually subscribe to my blog, then you will get an e-mail telling you when I've made a new post.  It's much more convenient than randomly checking to see that, no, it's the same old crap that's been there for months.
Since I am posting, don't expect something brilliant here....just had some thoughts that I thought I would write down somewhere.  This just seemed convenient.
I had a very interesting experience yesterday.  A journalism student, who is from Hong Kong, came to interview the Husband about his violin-making.  They visited for a very long time---she is very inquisitive, and seemed to be fascinated with trying to figure out what makes him tick.  (yeah, good luck with that one)  I must admit, I too am fascinated with him, what makes him tick, etc., so I quite admired her.  She found it very odd that he would conquer such great hurdles, make such great sacrifices, and take such great risks to try to accomplish his goals---his art, his craft, whatever.   At one point, she asked me about myself, what was I trying to do, was I an artist as well?  I told her that I played the guitar a little, and yes, I do a bit of drawing....but no, I'm not really an artist.  Much later in our visit---she was here for several hours---the subject of my religious and political beliefs came up.  The Husband asked me if I had told her about my fast.  No, I hadn't....didn't really think she'd be interested in that, as she had already stated that she didn't have much personal interest in politics.  He started, then told me to go ahead and tell her about it.  When I finished, she asked many questions, then, with her mouth hanging open in shock, or surprise, she said, "Now I get it----you guys are both crazy, that's why you are married!!!!"  I had to laugh, quite a bit actually.  But she was right.  As she continued to elaborate, she explained that she saw us both as incredibly committed, passionate people.  That's what made us special, and made our relationship work. 
She really did reach quite the epiphany.  And it was very accurate.  I imagine that there are few people in the world who would put up with either my or my husband's behaviors as they relate to our passions, but the fact that we are similar in very different ways makes it easier for us to understand each other.  I imagine that there are many outsiders who have looked at us and our various actions, thinking, "Man, they're just friggin' crazy!"  Once again, I resort to "hmmmmmmm".  Crazy, or passionate?  That is the question.

Here it is, Sept. 21, and I finally made it home to MO, all in one piece. (Mind not completely withstanding) Due to airline scheduling, I did, sadly miss the end of the vigil and breaking of the fast...but sometimes you've got to take what you get. I did want to make one major correction----in my blurred, malnourished, dehydrated, etc. state of mind, I had lost track of dates. For my own small sense of accomplishment, I want to state that I made it to DAY 44 of my FAST.  44 Days, that is something to be kind of okay with.  I wish that it had ended on a happier note, but once again---I'll take what I can get.
Well, it's late, and it has been a long day of travel--and dinner with the husband!!--and it is definitely time for bed.
Peace and Love to all.

I believe that in my last blog I mentioned that I was going to be going to Colorado for a family wedding. The wedding was wonderful, and I got to spend time with family members that I don't get to see often.
Then, the day after the wedding, as if some sort of Cosmic Karma had bestowed gifts upon me, I found out that my nephew (bless his heart) had gotten a hold of two tickets to the Broncos/Chiefs game in Denver on Sunday. Since it really doesn't have much to do with the main subject of this blog, I haven't talked about my major love of NFL, and especially, the Denver Broncos. Everyone has to have something to blow off steam, or a form of escapism, whatever, and mine happens to be NFL. I've been a football fan since I was but a wee-little thing of 8 or 9 years old. Growing up within 100 miles of Arrowhead stadium, one might (MISTAKENLY) assume that I am a Chief's fan. But, this is the furthest from the truth. I've always been a MAJOR Denver Bronco's fan. Through good and through bad, I've loved my Broncos. And just by nature of being a Broncos fan, I hate the Chiefs. (for those of you who may not know this, they are division rivals)
So, I've had the chance to see the Broncos play one other time. It was a brilliant Monday night game in Kansas City in which Denver completely annihilated the Chiefs. That was many years ago. So, I jumped at the chance to see them teamed up again, this time on the home field.
So, I quickly changed my travel plans, so that I would be flying home on Tuesday rather than Sunday.
My brother-in-law added to the excitement by telling me about something he had read in the morning paper. He said that my Cosmic Karma seemed to be continuing, because a small gallerey here in Ft. Collins had been selected among a very few for a showing of signed photographs taken by a famous photographer who had travelled with Paul McCartney on his 2002 tour. The art show had just opened, and would be there for a few weeks. So, after the Broncos beat the Chiefs on Sunday (joy) I got to go to a gallery and see some exquisite photographs of Paul McCartney. They were signed by both the photographer and Sir Paul. Of course, they also cost $1,250.00 a piece (unframed), but I did buy a nice hard-back book fillled with those photos plus many more.
I suppose that I should have known that things were going too well for me, but my mind doesn't usually work that way. On the advice of friends and family, I had decided to start varying my "clear liquid" diet in order to get my stomach ready to digest real food so that I could break the fast with the rest of the peace community at the end of our vigil on Thursday, the 21st. I had drank about half a glass of tomato juice Saturday morning, and also had some orange juice at some point. I bought a "fruit smoothie" drink from a convenience store after the game, and bought some Ensure-type drinks from the grocery store. On Monday evening, I drank one of the Ensure drinks, and another in the morning. My stomach wasn't feeling real great, but I didn't think too much of it.
That was...until I actually got to the airport around noon on Tuesday. I rushed to the restroom, and was sick in more ways than I care to discuss here. At some point, a sweet custodian became very concerned about me, and got another airport person. This woman tried to help me by getting me cold wet paper towels for my forehead and neck, but she quickly decided that I was sick beyond that point. By the time that the airport medics arrived, I was shaking so hard I was almost convulsing. Perhaps that is why the man had so much trouble inserting an IV---I think he was probably just not real good at it, and I was dehydrated which makes it hard to find a good vein. He did get me to bleed really well all over the restroom floor though! He, in turn called an ambulance. (after taking my vitals, finding out about my fast, etc.)
So, I got wheeled out of the Denver airport on an ambulance gurney, with an IV coming out of my arm, bandaged hands from the failed IV attempts, and blood all over my left hand. I did have a moment of funky clarity at this point, thinking--"Man, what a wasted photo-op! This would be great publicity!"
In the ambulance, they decided that that the IV in my arm wasn't good enough, and that they needed to insert another one in the only good veins left in my body. So, they pulled over on the shoulder, and inserted an IV in my neck! That was really freaky, and pretty painful. Once at the hospital, it was a blur of activity. I was hooked up to an EKG which monitored my vitals, and I had 2 IV's pumping me full of fluids filled with all sorts of healthy stuff. After getting my blood work back, my doctor told me that he was very impressed that I wasn't in worse shape for going 39 days without any food. He said that they should be able to "fix me", and that he didn't think that I had done any permanent damage to my body-yet. He did say, however, that it was IMPERITIVE that I start eating a healthy diet now, or I would do permanent damage to myself.
So, I slept off and on--waking to urgent needs to pee, as they were dumping massive amounts of fluids in me. (I was hooked up to all sorts of things, so this was never an easy process, and I had to go down the hall) I had gotten a hold of my sister who lives in Ft. Collins and had dropped me off at the airport to tell her where I was. My main concern though, was the husband. By the time I knew I was going to the hospital, and was not going to be able to fly, he had already left home in Fulton for the 2 1/2 to 3 hour drive to the KCI airport. And he doesn't have a cell phone. There was no way for me to get a hold of him to tell him that I wasn't going to be there, and that I was in the hospital in Denver. Major, major stress.
My sister arrived with perfect timing as to when they decided that my blood pressure was high enough, my electrolytes close enough to balanced, and my body adequetely hydrated to release me. It was just after 7:00 p.m., so I guess I was there about 6 hours.
Since I had told my husband at the beginning of this fast, that if it effected my health negatively I would begin eating again, I agreed with the doctor and nurse when they asked me to begin eating.
My sister and I stopped on the way home at KFC, and I got some mashed potatoes to eat. So, very unceremoniously, and only 2 days short of my goal, I broke my hunger strike last night with mashed potatoes.
My sister had called and left messages with everyone she could think of that my husband might call, but none of them had heard from him. Finally, about 5 1/2 hours after the flight I was supposed to be on had landed in Kansas City, my husband called. He had waited around the airport for a couple of flights from Denver, thinking perhaps he had the time wrong, then checke the other terminals to see if he had the wrong airline, then decided that I "had probably gotten sick or something", and drove back home. My stress was gone, but I felt badly that he had wasted most of his day.
I had thought that I would just fly home today, but I woke up feeling very much like I had been in a car wreck, so travel has been delayed until tomorrow. (Thursday) Unfortunately, due to scheduling, I won't be arriving in Columbia until 7:30 p.m. tomorrow evening. I will miss the entire vigil, and the potluck to break the fast. I had been looking forward to this gathering and event more than anyone knows, and my heart is broken that I won't be there to take part in it.
I guess that I should just be happy that I'm here and somewhat healthy.

Since the link to Evening Edition seems to have worked that time, I'm going to try it here for the first program that we did on Troops Home FAST. It was back on August 15th, I believe. If you would like to listen to it, click
here .  You can visit the website for KOPN at www.kopn.org.   You can go to Podcasts, upper right-hand side, to go to all the local programs.  They have some great things in the archives there, and I encourage everyone to check it out.

"People become what they expect themselves to become," Mahatma Gandhi

I am thoroughly enjoying studying Gandhi.  He was a very wise man, who has passed on much wisdom for those willing to listen to/read about him.  I love the quote above.  I could talk about this for hours, but I don't have time for that, and you don't want to read it.  (thank goodness my thoughts are somewhat filtered before they spill out in this blog!)  The power of the mind, the power of one's willingness is unlimited.  If asked a year ago, even 6 months ago, if I thought that I could go for over 45 days without food--by choice--I would never have believed it.  I think that the reason that I have been able to be strong through all of this is because I took a vow.  I said that I was going to commit my life to peace.  I said that I was going to complete this fast unless medical complications prevented it.  And it looks as if I am going to make it. 
I believe that I am going to start altering my intake over the next week, in order to be able to break this fast with the rest of my community on the 21st without getting terribly sick.  I'm not real sure what to do, I suppose that I should start gradually drinking vegetable and fruit juices.  I know that after the 21st, my meals will have to be small, and consist of easily digestable foods.  Does anyone out there have any advice about the best way to go about this?
This has been a hectic day, and it continues to be. I'm trying to prepare for a trip to Colorado for a family wedding. It always seems that I leave the majority of things until last minute. I have to have lists....sometimes I even have lists of lists. Without these, I'm bound to forget something of major importance. (wedding gift... plane ticket, etc.)  Last night I got to be a guest co-host for Mark Haim's radio show, Evening Edition. We talked about Troops Home FAST, as well as other current political issues. I've discovered that I might be able to attach a podcast enclosure to this blog, so I will try that.....okay, not having any luck there, maybe just a link.
I probably won't write until Monday--I hope everyone has a great weekend.

September 11, just another date on the calender???

Yes, we all know that this is the 5th anniversary of the World Trade Center disaster. No one is going to let us forget it. Nor will the government and media let us forget that this tragedy is the "reason" we are fighting an all-out War On Terror. It's kind of a funny name, in a not-so-funny way. That being that our own government is the one trying to ensure that its' citizens are terrified. As I've said before, it's best way to keep us under control.
So, I prefer to focus on a much more positive note today. September 11, 1906. Yes, today is the 100th Anniversary of the introduction of Satyagraha by Gandhi, a type of non-violent passive-resistance. Of course, it's a little more complicated than that, or it wouldn't have such a nifty name. But he first introduced it on this date in 1906 in Johannesburg, South Africa. For a consise lesson on this, I refer you to Friday's episode of Democracy Now!  Amy Goodman interviewed Gandhi's grandson about the subject, and it is very interesting.  Although I have Gandhi's autobiography, he doesn't spend a lot of time talking about Satyagraha, as such, as he devoted an entire book to this subject.  So, I'll just let you follow the link, rather than trying to talk further about it.
I'm looking forward to this evening.  The Columbia Peace Coalition has put together what should be a wonderful gathering, "9-11:  Moving Beyond Fear"  It is to be a candlelight commemoration remembering the lives lost in the attacks in our nation, and the subsequent wars.  The hope is to address the need to transcend fear, break out of the cycle of violence our country is in, and protect our liberties.  (our what?)  All I can say for sure, is that it will be a hell of a lot better than watching CNN, or ABC's mini-series mockumentary about events supposedley leading up to the 9-11 tragedies.
I wish everyone peace, and a loving heart on this day....and all days.

"There is nothing more precious than life itself."

Apparently, once media attention begins, it expands on its' own. After my interview in the Fulton Sun was published yesterday, I was contacted by a broadcasting/journalism student from MU. She explained that she wanted to do an interview with me for a class project, if I would be available. She also told me that if her teacher liked it, they would send it on to KOMU news as a lead to a story. We agreed on her coming here, to my home, this morning at 10:00. At around 9:30 this morning, I received a phone call from a reporter from KOMU news. She told me that she had read about me, and wondered if I would be available for an interview. Score! She was scheduled to come over at 11:15. So, I did one interview after another. I'm really glad that I didn't end my fast yesterday afternoon for some reason...that would have been embarassing. Plus, these two gals would have had to find another story.......So, I was pretty relaxed, and felt that both of them went pretty well--comparatively speaking, that is. I certainly don't feel like a seasoned interviewee. (is that even a word?)So, my story ran on the 5:00 edition of the KOMU news. (when you go to this link, you can both read the story, and watch it by clicking on the screen on the right side of the page) They were even thoughtful enough to provide a link to this blog on their website. (As any of you who are reading this because of that well know)
The process of editing a news story must be a fascinating experience. She probably had at least 15 minutes of filmed interview, yet my comments are shaved down to a few seconds. I think she did a fine job, but I can see how it is so easy to shape a news story according to the thoughts and beliefs that you already have in your mind.
One of the reporters told me that when she was pitching the story this morning, that several people had commented on the believability/realistic-ness (is that really a word?) of someone going for so long without food. For those of you who don't want to go back to the beginning of my blogs, I'll give you a brief list of what I've been doing to keep myself alive. I drink lots of water which is enhanced with electrolytes. The brand name is Smart Water. I am taking really effecient vitamin and mineral supplements several times a day, as well as wheat-grass, and barley-grass tablets. I also drink vegetable broth--this is the main thing that stops the horrible hunger pains. I also add a product called Emergen-C to my water at times...it is a powdered substance that is full of vitamins, especially vitamin C, and the kind I have also provides calcium. After the first three or four days of my fast, I found out about blood sugar---because I pretty much didn't have any and was on the verge of blacking out. So, I drink some organic apple juice every day. And yes, that's it. Actually, it's fairly complicated---I've never paid this much attention to what I was putting into my body before. But, you can get along quite well without any actual food--at least I have made it for 32 days now. I've only lost 15 pounds, which is surprising, but it is also good---as far as my health goes.
So, this blog isn't going to be terribly interesting, because it's late and I'm tired. If this is your first visit, I encourage you to read my past blogs, and hopefully you will want to return for more!

Ooops! Glad that I was writing this when I was. The 10:00 news, which ran late due to football, just showed my story again. It was a little different this time. I wonder which one, or both, you can see at the web-site....Well, it's still the same one, if it changes later, I'll update you.

"Let go of your attachment to the outcome."

Things went well at the university yesterday, considering how poorly prepared I was. I must truly and gratefully thank my friend Jeff for helping out. A seasoned public speaker, with a great ability to relay facts and logic leading to our current political situation, he took the pressure off of me, and made the talk far more interesting to the students than I could have. Yesterday, I was feeling pretty weak, both physically and mentally, and had trouble pulling myself together---mentally, physically, and verbally.  Some of the students seemed disinterested, but some seemed to be truly involved with our talk.  A few asked if we really thought that what we were doing would make a difference.  "Do you really think that by not eating you will stop this war????"  No, probably not.  However, there are 5,000 of us involved in this movement, and there is strength in numbers.  We all have to do what we can, what we feel compelled to do.  Jeff said that it helped him sleep at night to know that he was acting in response to his beliefs.  He stressed what I started this blog with.  Don't become too focused on, or attached to the outcome.  Do what you can do now.  Several students came up with ideas of their own.  One even came up with the idea of calling the Fulton paper to say that she had heard me speak on campus, and that I said that I had been interviewed, but that she hadn't seen the story run yet.  I was so pleased to see the metaphorical light bulb turn on over her head.  I told her that it was a great idea, that it was the perfect example of a small thing that an individual could do that may wind up impacting a great number of people.
This morning, the day that everyone in town gets the paper delivered for free, my interview and picture appeared.  It's not on the front page, but it's on the back--which is the next best thing.  It's at the top of the page, with a large head-line:
                                 
                               No food for thought
      Pacifist stops eating to support troops

I kind of wish that the headline had somehow included that I was showing support for the troops and the Iraqi's, but that is clear in the story.  And I suppose that some people may read this who otherwise may not have.  I realize that the most important thing is to get my message out, but good lord, could I look any fatter in that picture???? (click on that to read article)
 
People will see it and think, "well, it kind of looks like she needs to quit eating for another month or so".  Okay, it's not quite that bad, but I'm definitely slumping, have my legs squished together, and my arms pushed against my sides.  About everything that one could do to look fat.  Okay, that's just the self-conscious "chick" in me coming out, I'll stop now.  I was wrong--I have to add that I'd just gotten out of the shower and was towel-drying my hair during the interview, and don't have any make-up on.  Okay, that's really it.  Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the story.  There are several places, of course, where I read it and think, "wait a minute, I finished that thought with..."  or whatever, but all in all, I think it's a pretty fair representation of our interview.
                                 

Woo-hoo! This is Day 30 of my clear liquid fast! That's like a month! (I say "like" not to be using slang, but instead it's "like" September, April, June, or November, as opposed to those 31-day months) I made it through the weekend at home without a hitch. My energy was up, and I haven't become skeletal or anything, so my family showed support for my mission. Or at least they didn't try to talk me out of it. No dangling of my favorite foods in front of me--Mom even said she felt bad snacking in front of me. If any of you know my mom, apologizing for snacking is pretty major. I assured her that it was fine. She's one of those people--much like myself--who needs to either be snacking or smoking. She's never smoked. Both of her sisters do, so of course she's the one who has inherited the family tendency for emphysema. Life is cruel that way, isn't it?
Sometimes, even the shortest of visits with loved ones can be very good for the soul. It was indeed a short visit, but it somehow lightened my load. Just being at the old home place tends to lift the stress and strain built up by everyday life. Of course, as with any family, there are different stresses and strains to deal with there---but different helps.I feel very fortunate to not only have a very close and loving family, but to have a politically-minded one. After initial explainations 30-days ago, and a few discussions about my health, etc. in between, I've never had to really explain why I am fasting.  My close family members share the same political views as I do, I just seem to be the most active about them.
This afternoon, myself and a friend are supposed to be addressing college students about the fast, the war, etc.  Am I at all prepared for this?  Hell, no!  Do I even know where on campus I am going?  Of course not.  Have my co-speaker and I come up with a basic plan for the presentation/talk?  What do you think?  My brain was feeling somewhat liquified yesterday, and I did absolutely nothing.  So, I think I'd better get to doing, or at least thinking.  Something.....