Dear fellowmen and women. I will try not to write to much on this blog (that is, not everything on my mind). Not that words are not a nice way to get to know who I am, but really since I came back from my third visit to my birthcountry, Southkorea, I am not sure anymore... it is not about finding my roots via birthfamily and then I live live happy ever after.
It has got more to do with finding out how to integrate the asian parts of me and let them shine through my westernized upbringing -and way of thinking and empanicipating my female attitude. I am not either/or, danish or korean. The gathering for (korean) adoptees comming from all over the world to meet in Seoul is awesome to experience, even attending the second gathering in korea. Some of them could actually be me birthsiblings.
Meanwhile I figure out how to be "me" on my own definitions, I find it soothing to have found international adoptees to get a sence of community-feeling with. Yes, in a way that is not obvious in my connecting to danish or other friends of other etnic heritage. This said, I am on a very interesting journey not only filled with sorrow and yearning for the "land of the morning calm".
This is my past haunting me, but only because I see so little objects/people/expressions to mirror og recflect my identity-project(s) in. Not a critisisme on the Danish society as it displays itself in front of me, but merely an observation made from knowing the difference of walking along korean faces and bodies in Korea, and walking around danishlooking girls. I korea I found myself wondering again, am I being the history tolled to me, am I being who I remember I am in Denmark, am I the frightened child abandonned once on a busstation in Po'chun (north of Seoul), or am I want people project me to be?
This requires a mastery to balance the "make-over" (or invention) of me once again, as an adult, mother, mistress, friend, sister and daughter. I hope this space is ready enough for whom ever enters to get and insight of whom I am striving to become in order, just to be. Regardless of gender, nationality, age, hights, intelligens, educational level, taste in music, art and poetry, preference for books or movies or even television-crab.
Join me if you like, I very open to sincere and autentic networking. Let me point to Krishnamurti who spoke om himself being af nomade. A worldcitizent, I like this approach, that contains much more space, than being an european, western, asian og americanized person. What are you? Gay, a medium for divine inspiration, an intertainer, unhappy married, broke. What have we chosen to become... This is my quest, probably for the rest of my earthly time. I hope my future work indeed will assiste people in their own search, as I been travelling down many paths, up and down hill. Now are the days for tranquility for me. And to learn how to prioritize my hidden projects. The challenge is to choose which one I have the most passion to do, or even combine my many fields of interest and experiences.
Who knows this might be the platform I will get inspiration to live out things I don't trust to act out myself.
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Thank you for joining me so far. I might continue more writing when the time seems suitable. I so full of love at the moment. To life especially, which is a blessed feeling I did not feel for so long. Copenhagen can habour fantasies, ecstasy, blissfulness, passion and great friendships, maybe even a new lovecompanionship, I hope to dare more, just as much as I do when I am abroad.
Lee Mee Ja.