I was watching Grey's Anatomy the other night and one of the guest characters said something pretty profound.  He said "We spend so much of lives looking forward to certain things that when all of those things have past, we have nothing left to look forward to.....".

Most of us spend our lives doing one of two things.  We are busting our butts looking forward to the life we want to live OR we are depressed about the opportunities we missed or left behind.    There's nothing wrong with looking ahead and there is nothing wrong with looking and learning from the things behind.   But what about right now???

Right now you have a lot of great things that you are doing.  You are making the moves for tomorrow.  You are planning for that future you are striving.   You are learning from the mistakes of the past.  But are you LOVING the life you have right now??  Yes, yes, yes, I know it's easy to grumble about the money you don't have, or the bills you haven't paid or the opportunities you may have lost.  Trust me.  I do that all the time.  But are you really THAT bad off??   I know it's trifling but if you can read this post, you have sight in your eyes when some people can't see.   If you are in an apartment or a home and you're reading this, some people are sleeping under the overpass or in the park.  If you are in a coffee shop reading this, some people can't afford to eat (or not even buy a cup of coffee).

I know that everyone is striving for a better tomorrow.  I'm one of those persons.  I can't wait until I'm in the position where I have a staff of people working for me.  I can't wait until I'm in a position where my wife doesn't have to work.  I can't wait until I don't have to worry about moving money around to make it from month to month.  I'm human so I have those same desires and same expectations. 

However, you gotta self evaluate and appreciate.  If you hate your existence, MAKE it better.  Once you've made it better, ENJOY IT!  I'm not saying that you have to stop growing.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't be hungry or aggressive or hard charging.  I'm just saying that you will have plenty of time to do alot of things.  What you don't have time to do is LOVE your LIFE.

You may not believe this but the circle of life that you create for yourself is the one YOU create for yourself.   You can retire at 65 or 45.  You can start multiple careers if you like.  You can buy homes, cars and all kind of things.  What you can't buy is your LIFE.   You gotta take a moment to enjoy the life you have and the blessings you've created for yourself. 

Trust me.  Once your life is over, there is no time to undo, redo, or DO anything.  So DO yourself a favor.  Love the life you have NOW and don't let it get away.

Anthony Reeves
Reeves Law Firm

Why did you stop making those cookies??? 

How come you don't joke any more??

Hey, are you throwing another super bowl party??

I know you think that you think these things are trivial or small but you would be AMAZED by the impact of the little things.   And you know what these things make such an impact?  It's because they are consistent!!!

Now, before you say "BOORRRRRRRRRRINGGGG", I want you to think for a second.  Despite all of the chaotic things you have going in your life, name at least ONE thing you look forward to during the year.    All you have to do is name one.  For me, I look forward to my wife and I making our annual drive to North Carolina to visit her aunt who spoils me rotten.  Yes, I love it because when I am in NC, I don't access my computer, i don't respond to text, and I can just sit outside on her deck and enjoy the NC air.   It is the ultimate form of peace.

Some of you out there LOVE running around buck ass crazy like a chicken with your head cut off but we all love those little things.  Those things are the important fixtures in life that gives us stability and continuity.  It keeps us grounded and refreshed.  It reminds us of who we are and where we come from and what is important.

Now, that we got the warm and fuzzy out of the way, what if that consistent THING is you??  What if YOU are the person who throws the jamming super bowl party that people look forward to attending?  What if YOU are the person who does the Halloween Bar-B-Q and Spades Tournament?  I know you don't want to hear how important you are (because you are) because unfortunately, YOU get tired.  You either get tired of doing the 'same ole' thing or you start to think that no one appreciates what you do. 

So what do you do? You stop doing what you normally do for a while.  You take a break.  Then, when you decide to do it again, like thirsty people to a watering hole, people come like they are feening for a crack pipe!  You are like "The hell??  What is going on?"  What is going on is YOU! 

But what if it's NOT an event and  it's your words.  How many times have you seen people who make a POINT to go see someone to talk to them and get their words?  IT's almost like a breath of fresh air.  Now, pause for a second.  What if that person is YOU???  Come on now, we all have at least one or two people who will look for us no matter what for our guidance and opinion.   Whether you believe it or not, your words make a difference.

Listen, I am not saying that you should be at someone's disposal for the rest of your life NOR am I saying that you should allow someone to use you for their own comfort.  What I am saying is that you should never undervalue the IMPACT that you make someone's life.  There are so many people who are walking through the desert of "NO CLUE", let them have a drink of your water from time to time to keep them right.

Anthony Reeves
Reeves Law Firm
The LegalBEAT

You know, when you're in your teens and twenties, you always feel like you have a boat load of friends and partners and 'running dogs'.  I never understood why my mom only seemed to have a handful of close friends. 

Now that I'm 'knocking on 40', I am looking back and I see that the friends I've had from college and high school are still around.  What's even more amazing, I can probably count on my hands the number of people that I contact on a regular basis.  Now, this is not to say that the friends that I don't hear from are NOT as important as the ones I do hear from.  That's not what I'm saying.  What I am saying is that if you stop for a second, you start to realize that the ones that you do hear from consistently are probably the ones that you have been in the trenches with on a regular basis.

What's even more powerful is that these individuals who I deal with on a consist basis have become an ever present source of reason in my life.  I have turned to them on numerous occasions to provide me guidance, instruction, wisdom, encouragement, and, of course, a reality check!

Along life's way, I've managed to pick up a few people who have become added powerful sources of reason.  They see me for what I am and they are ok with who I am. 

I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm going to be the next Obama or anything like that!  I'm going to be the FIRST REEVES!  However, in order to get to the FIRST REEVES, I learned early on that you have to have people in your life who are going to keep you grounded and help you see things in a perspective that you have not always seen. 

But don't confuse friends who are the voice of reason with friends who you've known for awhile.  Some people think that if they know someone who has been in their life for years and years that that person is instinctively going to be the voice of reason.  You have to ask yourself the question.  Is the person who you call a 'friend' there for YOU or just there BECAUSE of you?  No one wants to call out people and tell them that they serve no purpose but you have to think. 

If you have someone in your life who LOVES you, they will never be afraid to tell you what you need to hear to elevate you.  If you have someone in your life who has just been there, you have to ask yourself "How am I helping this person grow and how are they helping me grow?"

And let me tell you, as you progress through life, you are going to find a multitude of people who will appear and project the image of being your friend.   Don't think that this just happens to rap stars or politicians or entertainers or sports athletes.   All you have to do is display a modicum of success and you will find that people will gravitate towards that success.  All you have to do is display a modicum of caring and concern and you will find people who need it gravitating towards it.

You are destined to be successful and do great things and as you move through life, people will come to you seeking what you have or what you are trying to attain.  You are truly blessed if you have at least one person who can provide the voice of reason or serve a pillar of confidence.  Take inventory of your stock pile of friends and you may find that some have expired, some have spoiled, and some should have never taken off the shelf.

Anthony Reeves
Reeves Law Firm
http://legalbeat.anthonyreeves.com
http://www.twitter.com/legalgold

Does MYSPACE work for you?  It's amazing with so-many people using Myspace for a variety of things, I'm curious if it works for you at all!

This whole TWITTER thing is a new phenomenon for me.  Let me know what you think.

http://www.twitter.com/legalgold

With the very high profile case of Chris Brown and Rihanna, the issue of domestic violence has now (once again) been thrusted into the forefront and the public eye.

However, in this case, you're talking about a 21 year old young woman and a 19 year old teenager.  It is no secret that so many young people and kids idolize both of these two young entertainers.  No parents, counselors, teachers and adults may now find themselves in the unique position of not only trying to explain crime and punishment but also determine how to talk to their kids about their feelings (or how they should feel) about the violence that may or may not have occurred between these two entertainers.

My question is "How are you going to explain the CHRIS BROWN / RIHANNA situation to your kids who idolize both?"

Hi! My name is Anthony Reeves and this year, I will be 40 years old.  I know that sounds old but I want you to stop and see what that means.

I was born in 1969. That's right, 1969.  Just a short time earlier when my mom and dad were dating, my grandfather called my dad to make him bring her home because he had heard on the radio that Martin Luther King, Jr. had been assassinated.  My mother had actually participated on a march on Birmingham while at Tuskegee.  She still tells the stories of how she doesn't go to McDonalds because she remembers when she wasn't allowed to go into the restaurant.  My uncle tells the stories of how his class was the first class to integrate the main high school in my home town (and all the fights he got into after the integration). 

I grew up in the South during the 1970s.  Now, wrap your brain around this phenemom.  From age 1 to 10, I can remember being called the "N" word a few times.  I remember one of my white friends being told by his mother (with me standing RIGHT THERE) that he couldn't play with me because I was black. I was told that I couldn't come in another white friend's yard because his grandfather didn't like black people.(can you imagine this kind of information being slapped on a child under 10?). I remember being threatened by white teenagers who said that they were the KKK (now that was horrifying). 

Then came the 80s and the 90s.  Now, you probably wonder why I skipped talked about this time.  Well, the simple fact that right now, alot of my mentees are born in the 80s and 90s.  What I find fascinating is that THEIR parents are MY peers.   I always wonder one thing.  DO MY peers share their experiences with their kids.  It's fascinating because when I was growing up, my mother made it her mission to ensure that I was educated about the atrocities of our own neighborhoods.  She made sure that we knew about our past.  However, our generation had the added benefit of experiencing our own adversities to further underscore the lessons our parents were teaching us.

However, the 80s and 90s were supposed to be different.  These kids are a decade or two removed from those atrocities.  With MTV, VH1, AOL, Myspace, and Google, our communities are becoming more global.  With this globalization, one has to wonder if today's generation and tomorrow's generation can truly connect to the atrocities of the past.  When I was growing up, I still KNEW that there were some areas of the city that you just DON'T GO!  However, does today's generation have that same restriction?  Do parents make a point to educate them about their past? Or do we just arm our kids with the tools to fight against all challenges with the hope that they will be infinitely more prepared to deal with the challenges on a little bit more of an even playing field than our parents had or than we had?

For those of us in our late 30s and 40s, are WE the dying disconnect from lineage to the past??

You know.  Right now, everybody and their momma are running around all pumped up and motivated after the inauguration.  Yea, yea, yea, that's all beautiful and everything but it's time to make it happen.

Let me ask you a question.  You do realize that you are a part of the administration???  You do realize that you are a part of the circle of life?  And you DO know that this just didn't happen when President Obama was elected??

Right now, there are alot of foot dragging, trifling people sitting on their candy asses WAITING for something to be given to them, provided to them, or made available for them and doing NOTHING while they wait!  You know who I'm talking about right now. 

I'm not talking about the small business owner who just needs a few more dollars in terms of a loan or a line of credit.  I'm not talking about the employee who is working extra overtime to cover a few bills.  I'm not talking about the person who is juggling two or three jobs to keep the lights on in their house.   I'm not talking about the person who is washing clothes in the morning or waiting tables or doing construction work while going to college in the evening.  I'm not talking about the person who was laid off and is hustling to find another job.

I'm talking about those 'economy sucking' vampires that are doing NOTHING to help the problem but they are demanding help!  Those people are the ones that you need to slap in the back of the head!  Get up, dammit, and get right!

And OH, don't think that if you fell into one of those categories I listed above that you are exempt from this ass chewing.  You got to keep that "Every Day I'm HUSTLING" hat on your head!  We got a lot of crap to fix and even more important, we need to accept the fact that we have a ROLE in the process of fixing it.

Right now, we are at a low so even NOW more than ever, we have to watch our backs!!  We are going to have to use those special skills and abilities to help each other EVEN when the government is trying to figure out how to help the country!

So don't get lost in the HYPE BABY!  We are the PROCESS FIXERS and it's time to make it HAPPEN NOW!

Let me tell you one thing that I have learned as a lawyer.  No matter how much you say it, sometimes, people just CAN'T let it go.

Now, I know I give a lot of 'Rah rah' speeches and I try to stay positive when I say what I gotta say.  But I gotta take a second to throw out some cold water.

Let me tell you what I know.  You can use that ole tired ass cliche' "let it go" if you want to, but you need to recognize that for ALOT of people, "Lettin it go" is just NOT that easy!

Yea, yea, yea, it's all in your mind, it takes strength and faith and courage, blah, blahh, blah, yada, yada, YAAAAAAAAAAAA DA!!   For alot of people, it's just a HARD thing to do.  What makes it even worse for people to understand is that you don't know how much a person is tied to "IT"!! 

Think about it!  How many of us can't let go of how our EX treated us?  You know what I mean.  All the times you forgave them.  All the times you caught them tricking!! All the times you gave your money, your space and your time to get them right and now that they've moved on, you're STILL bitter because of the time you wasted.

How about that job?  You know the one.  The one you left on REALLY bad terms and you hate that you went out like that at your job.  You think you got punked or you're a sucker!!!  That's not WHO you are but that's how you feel!

How about that family member?  You know the one.  The one who ALWAYS calls on you for emergencies and money and then they STANK your behind ONE good time and you don't talk to them until somedody DIES!!! 

How about that one supposed good contact?  You know the one.  The one who says they are your friend but they always ride your coat tail but they NEVER let you know when something good is happening to them.  And you get pissed because they get a break and they don't share it with you but you share all your breaks with them???

I'm sure a few of you can add a couple of more righteous things on this list and few healthy well placed "go to hell" moments that still BURN you to this day.  Don't get me wrong, it took me a MINUTE to get over a BAD relationship I had over 10 years ago (A good wife will do that for you).

Listen heya, it's so easy to sit off on the sidelines and make funky fly comments about how somone should LET SOMETHING GO but the fact is, things that we HOLD onto that we can't let go are usually things that BURN us to the core.  Think about it like this.  How many have you have a burn mark that is still there??  You know? Or a cut mark?  I Have a mark on my hand from an auto accident when I was seven years old?  It's amazing how we expect physical scars from physical damages to last a long time but we get bent out of shape when we don't understand that emotional / psychological scars can last just as long if not longer.

I'm a firm believer of the "let it go" philosophy but I'm, also, a realist.  These days, I've pretty much modified my stance and now, I'm "Let it go as much as you can so we can get something done".  Sometimes, the best you can do is to at least get the person to let it go enough for them to go A LITTLE bit further. 

But RECOGNIZE, 'Lettin IT go' AIN'T easy!