When Christ died on the cross for you and me, He did not only provide for salvation and life eternal after we die; He also died that we might have His life now. We must have faith in him. 2 Peter 1:3 says that He has given us all things pertaining to life and godliness. That is for now while we are here on this earth. Some people say that they believe "in" Him, but many do not believe Him. (Notice the difference). When we read John 3:16, think of it this way, "whosoever believes, 'in Him' has eternal life". Notice where I placed the comma. The "in Him" is the key. We must place ourselves "in Him"; it is then that we have His life. If we want His resurrection Life (capital "L"), we must first die to ourselves, in effect nailing ourselves to His cross, just as He went willingly to the Cross. Go through the Bible and see how many places it reads "in Him", and "in Christ". We have nothing when we try to live the Christian life apart from (outside of) Him; we must be "in Him". That is our choice; He never forces Himself on us.

As you go through the Bible, also see how many places it reads "the faith OF Christ". (Check the King James of the Bible for Romans 3:22; Galatians 2:16, 20, 3:22; Ephesians 3:12; Philippians 3:9).

Revelation 14:12 (The Holy Bible, King James Version):

"Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus."

Think about the level of faith that Jesus must have had in His Father. He predicted that He would be raised the third day, but on a human level, the faith He had in our Father, that He (the Father) would raise Him (Jesus) from the dead. That Faith was in God the Father because, once dead, Jesus could not raise Himself. He had to believe that God the Father would do it. Full Faith and assurance only comes when we see God for who He is, and we fully rest in Him as our only source. When we come to know God that intimately, as did Jesus, then we too can have faith on that level: The faith OF Jesus!

I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the (my) future.

Barry

"God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn't deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all. The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that.

"With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

"The law always ended up being used as a band-aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it. And now what the law code asked for but we couldn't deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us." Romans 8:1-3 (The Message: New Testament)

What is the law of Christ?

Matthew 22:36-40 (New American Standard Bible)

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

1 John 4:7-8 (New American Standard Bible)

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

Each occurrence of "love" above is the Greek word "apapé", the love with which Christ went to the cross. (Romans 5:8 New American Standard Bible) "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." We are to Love just as Christ Loved -- dying to ourselves in favor of the other person(s).

If the church does not love, they are not obeying God and they do "not know God". The ten Commandments in Exodus 20:3-17 also follows this teaching: Love and obey God. And, if you love others, you will not commit the other offenses against them, and in the case of the tenth commandment to not covet, if you love,  you will not even want to break the other commandments.

I have listed a number of "one another" Scriptures. This is how the church is to respond to others, in particular, other believers:

·        Romans 12:10 (NASB) "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor"

·        Romans 14:19 (NASB) "So then let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another."

·        Romans 15:7 (NASB) "Wherefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God."

·        1 Corinthians 12:25 (NASB) "there should be no division in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another."

·        Galatians 5:13 (NASB) "For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

·        Ephesians 4:2 (NASB) "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love"

·        Ephesians 4:32 (NASB) "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

·        1 Thessalonians 3:12 (NASB) "may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another, and for all men, just as we also do for you"

·        1 Thessalonians 4:18 (NASB) "Therefore comfort one another with these words."

·        1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NASB) "Therefore encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing."

·        Hebrews 3:13 (NASB) "But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called 'Today,' lest any one of you be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

·        John 13:34-35 (NASB) "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Jesus said in Matthew 5:16 (NASB) "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." What does the world see when they look at the church of Jesus Christ? For those that the church does not push away, many others turn away, from both inside and outside the church, deciding that the message is not valid. I have a friend who once called himself a Christian, but now, because of the message of the church, says he is agnostic, and may be leaning atheistic. Shame on the church!

While there are many true Christians in the various churches, it is the contradictory message of the church that causes me to look outside the organized church for true loving Christians. I must not be bound together with religious Pharisees.

Romans 8:1-2 (The Holy Bible, New International Version)

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."

2 Corinthians 6:14-15  (New American Standard Bible)

"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?"

Philippians 2:12-16 (New American Standard Bible)

^"So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain."

Gambling with my life, betting on God to be True

For those who have read my various web pages here on MySpace and my personal website, I think it should be fairly evident that I have a deep abiding faith in Jesus the Christ, His sacrificial death on the Cross, His resurrection from the dead, His ascension to the right hand of the Father where He is seated on the throne ever making intercession for you and me.

It was my sin that nailed Jesus to that cross, and it was your sin that nailed Him there. We are all sinners in need of a Savior. You know the difference between right and wrong, and whether you call doing wrong sin or not, you know you have sinned.

I believe the Bible to be the inspired Word of God, and not only because one verse (2 Timothy 3:16) tells me that, but more importantly the Holy Spirit witnesses of Truth to my spirit. Others may question certain texts in the Bible, whether the story of the flood and other stories are accurate; they may argue regarding the dimensions of the ark or regarding the number of animals and food storage, and about many other Biblical accounts. They may question whether one text seems to contradict another text.

However, my faith is not in Moses or David or Jeremiah or the writers of the Gospels or Paul or any other person who wrote down what he was impressed by God to write. My faith is not in the translators from the Hebrew and Greek into English. And my faith is certainly not in any preacher. My faith is in God alone and the finished work of His Son Jesus the Christ who shed His blood for me, and the inner witness of the Holy Spirit.

I am not a Bible scholar, and quite frankly I don't trust them either. Different so-called scholars have too many differing interpretations, and I will not get into debates over things that we or I don't understand. Even if human personalities and beliefs from the original writers, translators or modern preachers have had an effect on the message I read and hear, I must rely on the Holy Spirit to be my witness of Truth. I may question or otherwise not understand some things in the Bible, but it is not the Bible per se that I believe. It is the God of the Bible Who I believe.

I have experienced the agape Love of God and I have experienced the grace of God. I hear Him whisper to me of His Love for me. For me, I hear it mostly in old hymns, but also in other songs, reading, preaching, and everyday conversations with those who are truly His. I hear Him whisper truth to me in the blogs of others. I have heard God speak to me while reading a secular novel, and I have even heard God speaking to me while viewing an anti-Christian video on YouTube recorded by a confused and angry ex-Southern Baptist pastor whose fundamentalist religion of his youth has failed him.

My spirit soars when I hear many of the old hymns. No, it is not just emotion. I may experience deep feeling, but it emanates from deep within. I have times when I ask, "God, where are you?", but when I hear those hymns there is that inner voice speaking healing to me and assuring me that He is with me despite all of the so-called Christians who do not know anything about me, yet mug me with Bible verses about my being gay. God assures me that in Him I am not under condemnation (Romans 8:1) and that His grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9).

John 3:16 (KJV) reads, "For God so Loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting Life." Most translations seem to group "believes in Him" as a phrase with no comma, but I submit to you that there indeed should be a comma and that the text should read "whosoever believes, in Him shall have everlasting Life." My life is in Him because I have believed that God gave His only begotten Son.

It is also important to point out the definition of everlasting as opposed to forever. Forever implies having no end, but the Greek aionios (Strong's G166) used in this verse is defined as perpetual time without beginning or end (used of past, present and future). When we believe we get much more than a "get out of hell free" card or "fire insurance". We have Life in Him in the here and now in this life here on earth; He has given us Life Assurance. Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10 KJV).

The Life that is spoken of in both John 3:16 and John 10:10 is the Greek word zoe (Strong's G2222), which is the very Life of God living in and through me. As Paul wrote in Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me" (NASB).

If there is no God, if my faith is misplaced, if there is no Heaven and no Hell, if when this body falls dead there is no afterlife, then I will have lived out my life simply choosing to believe and loving as I have been instructed, and "that's all folks". However, if God does exist, if my faith is not misplaced, if there is a Heaven and a Hell, if when this body falls dead there is an afterlife, then my faith will be rewarded.

So I choose to gamble my life on God being True. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain, so it's really not a gamble at all. Are you gambling your life away? Is God whispering to you? If so, respond to Him today.

"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is.".
 

All scripture references are New American Standard Bible [NASB]

A young man wrote to me stating, "I'd love to know how you've, as far as I can imply from your profile and blogs, managed to reconcile who you are as a Christian and as a gay man."

While I will not fully address the Christian/gay conflict through which I've lived, I will try to give my thoughts about being Christian, and very briefly about being gay. I hope that in some way, my thoughts will help you in how you choose to live as a Christian man, whether or not you are homosexual, heterosexual, asexual or anywhere along the sexuality spectrum, and also whether or not you marry, otherwise act or your own sexuality, or remain celibate.

I also cannot address what specific sexual activity is within Godly boundaries, because I do not know. There are certain scriptures that seem to exclude certain acts, but what about other activities, whether same gender or opposite gender? I am not qualified. In my experience I have sat under teaching in very fundamental churches that would say they interpret the Bible literally, that is until the literal interpretation doesn't suit what they "want to believe." The same is true of some teaching I've heard in less fundamental churches and gay-friendly churches. All seem to twist the Bible to their own liking, whether doctrinal issues or to condemn others or justify themselves. Some use the Bible to throw stones; others use the Bible to justify their own behavior. Some pick and choose passages to condemn you and me, all the while ignoring surrounding passages regarding their own personal behavior.

In 2 Timothy 3:5 [NASB], Paul tells Timothy that there are those "holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power." Paul goes on to advise Timothy to, "Avoid such men as these." In seeking Christian fellowship, I believe it is important to seek God's guidance because not all churches believe God. There are those who believe some facts about God and about Jesus, and may indeed be Christian having accepted the gift of Christ's atonement for our sin, but there is a difference in believing facts "about" God and believing God. External Christians have a form of godliness — their lives and actions betray their words — we are to avoid them. True Christians are Christian in their very core. The do not have to "suit up" to look like Christians — their very countenance and aroma will exude Christ-likeness.

In 2 Corinthians 6:14 [NASB], Paul tells us, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" And in Matthew 7:15-16a [NASB], Jesus cautions, "Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits." John wrote in Revelation 13:11 [NASB] about a beast who looks "like a lamb", but who speaks "as a dragon." When I listen to many of the mainline preachers, they sound like the beast in Revelation 13:11.

In response to your inquiry, the most important thing I have to tell you, is that you, and you alone, are responsible to God and the basis for your choices and actions should be only after you have listened to Him through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Are you "listening" to His voice? You must not use me and my choices and beliefs, or those of any other person, as an absolute for you. As you seek to listen to God, there will be many voices — some right and some wrong. As you listen to any person's input, take it before God in prayer and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

I've had a lifetime weathering numerous storms of many different types. Sometimes I had complete grace as I traveled the path, and other times I felt so alone and like God was far away. I do not understand God's ways and often I found myself so hurt or angry with Him, that I could hardly pray or read His Word.

Mostly, when I have felt abandoned, it was not that God had left me, but more that I had no support from other so-called christians (I use lowercase "c" intentionally). I do not believe that God ever intended that we should travel a lonely road. It was God that declared, "It is not good for man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). Of course so-called christians will remind us that God followed that declaration with the creation of Eve. I do believe that God intended woman and man, with their individual strengths and weaknesses, to compliment one another, but the principal still remains that God intended us to not be alone and to have others for support.

Three times Jesus told us to "Love one another". John 13:34-35 [NASB] "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." He repeated the command twice more in John 15 verses 12 and 17. Paul, Peter and John also repeated the command at least nine more times (see Romans 3:8, 1 Thessalonians 4:9, 1 Peter 1:22, 1 John 3:11, 1 John 3:23, 1 John 4:7, 1 John 4:11, 1 John 4:12 and 2 John 1:5).

In every one of those passages, the authors use the Greek word "agapao" that we know is the type of Love with which Christ chose to go to the Cross. John even declares that if we do not Love with the same intensity of Love, enough to give of ourselves for others, that we do not know God. (1 John 4:7 through 1 John 4:8 [NASB] "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.")

The mainline church, in general, and so-called christians, in particular, deny love and support to homosexual men and women. See the poem Looking for Love that I have added to my blog. Not only do they deny us apape Love, but very often they also deny us consistent brotherly "philadelphia" love. We may have a form of fellowship for a time, but in my experience, it does not last. When someone asks how I am doing and I tell him or her that I have much difficulty being alone, I am often brushed aside with a trite, almost flippant, response of, "You are never alone, God is always with you." When my brother died suddenly in 2004, I was very distraught and angry with God that He had allowed his death. Several times over a year, a Christian counselor discounted my feelings entirely. I don't need to be in the presence of people who consistently disregard my feelings and treat my as if I were a leper. I do need love and support.

I have also done the "ex-gay" thing. I was in the program for one year. While I learned some facts that helped me understand myself, there was nothing said that could assist to facilitate a change in orientation. The goal, if there was one, was solely to encourage a change in behavior. I do not know of any one of the other members who had any change in orientation, but several, including three group leaders, are partnered or "in the lifestyle."

I've now been out of the ex-gay "ministry" for nine years. I have personally spoken with three of the most prominent leaders of the ex-gay movement. While they would likely deny my assertion that they are still gay, every one of the three, who each are now married, admitted to me that the gay desires remain. I have no knowledge, nor do I assert, that any of them partake in same gender sexual behavior. If they apply the term "ex-gay" to themselves, they may be truthful regarding behavior, but not regarding orientation.

When I say I am gay, I am speaking of the orientation, which is mainly an emotional attraction. I do not believe that the basis of homosexuality at its root is sex. It is for that reason that I do believe that any sexual behavior should be reserved for a committed loving relationship. The emotional attraction and bond must come first. I have failed that standard.

So, my friend, my advice to you is this: Seek God as your primary source, find true Christians with whom to fellowship, and let the Holy Spirit be your guide. Don't allow others to deny you the worth with which God sees you. Don't look for "self-worth"; recognize that you have "God-worth" — you are worthy because you are made in the image of God. Learn to love yourself, so that you will be able to love others.

Matthew 22:36-40 [NASB] "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, "'you shall Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'you shall Love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 5. My father died shortly before that, but he and my mom had divorced when I was only 1. I never knew him. My mom raised my brother and me alone. She always took us to church, so I grew up in the church. When I was a teen I attended Sunday school and church on Sunday morning, Sunday evening church, Friday night youth group and sometimes Wednesday evening prayer time (it was much more like a gossip session, with "prayer requests" to God mainly a disguise to inform the other old biddies). During the summer there were guest speakers every night from July 4th through Labor Day. Once I could drive, I went to those services as much as I could, usually at least 5 times a week. Through the years, I responded to many invitations as I grew in my knowledge of what Christ had done for me. I'm certain some of it was emotional response, but that does not negate the fact that I had acquired a deeper understanding, a more resolute faith and a more firm foundation. "On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand."

I felt "called" to ministry and enrolled in Bible college, but once there I went home after the first weekend because I was homesick. I remained involved in the youth ministry until I was 32, planning and working on banquets, special events, after meeting outings, bus trips to other churches and very active in the planning for, as well as work before and during, the annual youth retreat.

I never dated any girls until I was 24 (more about that in a minute), but I had crushes on several boys since my freshman year in high school, and had "innocent" times napping with a straight friend from church. I never told him that I was gay, but he knew and outed me to our friends. I could not deny it (there was evidence), but I also did not admit it; I simply acted as if it were not so and nothing changed for any of the friendships. When in my early 20s, after a night out drinking, I tried to make physical contact with another boy (DM) from church, but he brushed me aside and I just acted as if nothing was different. I had become fairly good at make believe and denial.

Then, maybe when I was 22, I met this boy at work and we did have a physical relationship, but not sexual; although I tried to move things to that level, he was not yet ready to accept his own homosexuality. After a short time he moved to California and I remained in New Jersey. I've thought many times that I should have moved with him.

Anyway, that second boy from church (DM above) felt it was his job to find me a girl and I doubled with him a few times, but I never did anything inappropriate and never called any of the girls again. There was one female friend with whom I would talk into the wee hours of the morning, but there was nothing beyond friendship. Then it happened -- DM set me up with this girl and in only a few dates we were sexually intimate. It felt good and I fell in love with love. I had never been touched that way. I was still a virgin before I succumbed.

So at age 24, I married ONLY because I had had sex, and I thought to not marry would be sin. We had four children, but I fought the homosexuality for most of the 28 years we were together, with only brief respites when the feelings subsided. I sought out magazines, etc. just to fill a void, and I also prayed and cried out to God to "take this away". Of course He never did.

Jumping ahead, in 1994 just a few weeks before my 50th birthday, I had my first consummated sexual encounter with another man; he was only the second person with whom I had ever been sexually intimate; my wife was the first. It made me feel complete. It was at that very moment that I knew that this was the "real" me. The struggle was not over by any means, but I knew that I knew that I knew. The long unresolved question, "Am I gay?" was answered. The doubt was gone. I am gay!

That encounter was a one-time event, but the next spring I confessed to my wife and another year later came out to my kids with full intentions of going to find a man to love. My wife and I had not been intimate for a long time and we had had several unrelated conflicts through the more recent years, but the real turmoil in me started at this point. My wife, now my ex, moved into another bedroom and I started attending an ex-gay thing. I can't call it ministry because even though I learned some things about myself, in the end it, and the "Christian" psychologist they sent me to, did not minister to me and may have caused more harm than help. I was kicked out after I admitted that I had fallen in love with another guy in the group.

While I could not fully keep the wedding vows, I tried to honor my vow to support my ex "till death do us part", but when the money ran out so did my ability to keep that commitment.

I continued to battle the conflict between the teaching of church and my sexuality, but God has taught me grace and He has shown me that those who claim Him, but have no love are not the true church. It is only in 2006 (better late than never) that I have really begun to see that I can be Christian and gay and I no longer see sexual intimacy between two men in a loving and committed relationship as something that I must avoid.

I am now 62 years old, and I don't expect I'll ever find a boyfriend for me, but I hope to at least find other Christian gay men with whom to fellowship, and a church where Christ is preached and where I do not have to hide the real me. I may have to move to find that. I want to find a place where I can be useful without being used.

Just as being gay is an unshakeable part of my very being, so too is my belief in Christ. We have all sinned, and it is through the shed blood of Christ and my belief in Him, and acceptance of His free gift, that I have assurance that I am His and He is mine for all of eternity, but also in the here and now. He has come that I should have life abundantly. I am still searching for that abundance, not abundance of money or stuff, but of life as He meant it to be. I sometimes have doubts over certain things, but I've also learned that doubt is good. Doubt makes us ask the tough questions, and only when we ask those questions will we ever find answers. I can get very angry with God, but He always is patient with me. As He promised, He never leaves me nor forsakes me; and if I try to walk away, He always reels me back in.

Anyway, the rest of the story is still to be written . . .

Saturday, January 6, 2007 3:08 a.m.

I was awakened this morning with this song, He Washed My Eyes With Tears That I Might See, running through my head. I suppose that this may have come to me in the night after having communicated with several folks on Friday. Some longer-term friends (one almost 4 hours on the phone on his 40th birthday), and some newly acquired friends through GayChristian.net and MySpace (by regular e-mail and through website messaging, and one new friend by phone for maybe an hour or so.)  Among those conversations was one theme that was repeated, which was the issue of reconciling being Christian and homosexual. Although not yesterday alone, that question has been asked several times. One response I have given others who sit in judgment using the Bible in a spiritual mugging of sorts, is that they should go away and examine their own lives, and when they find themselves guiltless in the eyes of God, then I invite them to come back and throw stones at me. But that response is not adequate for the serious questioner. (If I have further insights, I may amend this writing from time to time, but for now, I hope this helps.)..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />

In May of 2003 (I think it was 2003) I attended a weekend Emmaus conference in which we were taught in depth regarding the grace of God. I came to understand that God's grace is bigger than all of our earthly thoughts on why, what, when and how we should do this or that, or think and believe a certain way in accordance to "sound doctrine" or even regarding any specific behavior. God's grace is bigger.

I have come to understand that God's overriding will for us is to love. We are to love God with all our heart, soul and mind, and we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. Jesus said, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole law."

On these two commandments depend the whole law.

It is recorded four times in three gospels (Matthew 19:19, 22:39, Mark 12:31 and Luke 10:27) that Jesus said that we should love our neighbors as ourselves, and Paul repeated it in two of his letters (Romans 13:9 and Galatians 5:14) and James also repeated that command (2:8). I believe that God is much more concerned with where I place my heart, than where I place my manhood. He is concerned far more that I love others, than any specific personal activity. If I love God and others I will not break the Ten Commandments.

1. If I love God, I will not have other gods.
2. If I love God, I will not worship idols.
3. If I love God, I will not take the name of the LORD my God in vain. (Warning to preachers who speak their own words claiming that it is God speaking: the LORD will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in vain.)
4. If I love God, I will keep one day in seven holy. (My Sabbath may not coincide with your own. You may have your Sabbath on the first day of the week or on the seventh, or if your job requires you on those days, maybe you take another day to rest and spend time in worship.)
5. If I love others, I will honor my father and mother. (For some this is not easy, but is commanded by God, that you may have a long life.)
6. If I love others, I will not murder.
7. If I love others, I will not commit adultery. (In studying the Hebrew word here, to apostatize, I do not believe this to mean sexual infidelity only. Apostasy is the abandonment of one's faith and includes the abandonment of one's vows made before God. Whether in marriage or other vows, covenants or contracts, we are to keep our promises. To break vows is to break this commandment. We are all guilty.)
8. If I love others, I will not steal.
9. If I love others, I will not bear false witness against my neighbor.
10. If I love others, I will not covet. (To covet would be to "want" to break one or more of the other commandments.)

So my brothers and sisters, God's grace is at work in me. God is calling me to love. It is God who comforts me and it is God who will judge me. And it is by God's grace that I am under no condemnation.

Romans 8:1-4 (New American Standard Bible):

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."

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I have spent years and years with my pillow soaked with tears -- tears of rejection by friends and family, and tears of rejection by the church. I've cried in anguish with inner conflict over my faith and sexuality, but God has wiped away those tears. And yes, I do still cry many tears because the pain of rejection lingers, but those tears help me see more clearly.

Video follows the lyrics.

He Washed My Eyes With Tears That I Might See

Ira Stamphill

He washed my eyes with tears that I might see,

The broken heart I had was good for me,

He tore it all apart and looked inside,

He found it full of fear and foolish pride.

He swept away the things that made me blind,

And then I saw the clouds were silver lined,

And now I understand 'twas best for me,

He washed my eyes with tears that I might see.

He washed my eyes with tears that I might see,

The glory of Himself revealed to me,

I did not know that He had wounded hands,

I saw the blood He spilt upon the sands.

I saw the marks of shame and wept and cried,

He was my substitute for me He died,

And now I'm glad He came so tenderly,

And washed my eyes with tears that I might see.

The Human Trinity – Made in God's Image

by Barry James Moore

Id, Ego and Superego

The following indented text is copied from Freud's Division of the Mind by David B. Stevenson ('96, Brown University). I have made slight changes in wording as well as for spelling and grammar.

While Freud's conclusions had some basis, his division of the mind did not account for the spirit. Furthermore, his thoughts about the id being pleasure seeking do not separate true physical needs from selfish pleasure seeking. He did not seem to recognize that true conflict and anxiety are due to the war between good and evil, mind vs. spirit, flesh vs. spirit, Satan vs. God, man vs. God, our own will vs. the will of God. We are at war within ourselves: the id (flesh) vs. the ego (soul — mind, emotions and will) vs. superego (spirit). The superego/spirit seeking satisfaction from a higher Life form, from God, spirit seeking satisfaction from Spirit; and our id, which is actually our desires that are described in the Bible as our "flesh", seeking satisfaction anywhere we can get it outside of God and His Spirit.

For me, "id, ego and superego" are best understood as "body, soul and spirit," and in the case of God as the Trinity of "Jesus, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit."

Why I have such a hard time with christians (lowercase "c" intended) is not that the uppercase "C" Christ is not a part of their lives, because in most cases He is, and they are saved. Church leadership, pastors, teachers, etc. have failed God by failing His people. They just don't know any better. It's a heavy burden to have to carry isn't it? Anyway, people perish for the lack of knowledge. With itching ears they look for someone, anyone to confirm they are right — and will go to any lengths to feel good about it — sounds familiar doesn't it. There is a tendency, on the part of many, to go to the Bible with preconceived beliefs and then find passages to prove the particular belief. However, many beliefs can be refuted using that same unacceptable method.

The problem is not that there is no connection to God. It's not that they (I/we) are not saved. For many the chasm between human spirit and God's Spirit has been spanned (although for some that connection or bridge has never been accomplished).

The problem is not that there is no connection within self. The connection with one's own body (id) and spirit (superego) usually exists. More problematic is the connection (mental acceptance of oneself) with the soul (ego). That may require the help of another.

A major problem is that there is no external human connection. What is missing is the relationship that God was talking about when He said, "It is not good for man to be alone." For many that type of connection does not exist in familial and acquaintance type relationships, where other persons may be in close proximity, but there exists no caring relationship. It is another deeper connection that is required — a spiritual (person-to-person) bond — real, not superficial, friendships.

Back to that missing human-to-human — person-to-person — relationship: Many Christians are approaching the Christian walk in error. There are two problems: we operate first, without Christ, and second, with total lack of understanding/knowledge. In telling others about God, we approach them with either only our own id or directed at only at the other's id — there is no Life in that approach — it's spiritually dead. Maybe we target the other's superego only — that's great and what's ultimately needed to bring another to repentance — but even that falls short if approached using only the id or ego to bring life to the superego of another. It simply is not enough — for others to feel the Love of God in and through us, what is required is for honest, transparent, compassionate listening, and a tender embrace in Godly affection — we become magnets drawing them to our Saviour and real Life, healing of the inner man, and peace that surpasses all understanding. We will have led them to the Satisfaction they seek, the very Source of Life.

Christians often try to do God's work with their own id — it will not achieve results in the other in the long term. We sometimes desire to know what we can do for God, instead of looking to God for what He wills to do through us. That may be self-gratifying, but it will not have the power of God to achieve His work in the individual. A message heard may be received because God is at work, but without God's love emanating out of the person who does the ministering, all of the appeals, arguing and sermons are, at best, incomplete.

The answer is that the superego of the one trying to minister must be conscious to the needs of the one to whom they are ministering. All too often we jump right in doing God's work, without listening to God's voice. What is needed is a word of knowledge from the Master. The order of ministry must be considered. Often, ministry to the superego (salvation, Spiritual insight) should not be our first and only concern. Granted, there are times, after seeing a need, that we minister first to the id (food, clothing, etc.), with a variety of motives, some of which are even selfish. However, the ego (soul) of the other gets lost in the shuffle. They continue to walk in darkness — a flickering candle almost always within just a wisp of being blown out.

This is also true after the fact; we neglect those within our own circles, leaving them to die inside. We fail to minister to the whole (as in "entire") person. We sometimes feed the hungry and clothe the homeless. We preach enough of God's Word to cause other's to see their need of repentance, and often involve them in "doing" church. However, we often neglect the soul needs of the person; they never experience the "one another" principles of the New Testament; they never experience Love God's way, nor ever understand the depth of their worth to our Loving God and King. As a result, too often our example and our teaching leave others (and ourselves) thinking that the "get out of Hell free" card is all there is to Christianity. They and we don't grow. We are taught that we have eternal security, and we feel "safe". As the child who falls out of bed at night might say, "I fell asleep too close to where I got in," many Christians "fall asleep too close to where we got in." Unfortunately, some who fall asleep return to their old ways.

We don't minister to the whole person and then we wonder why he is never made "whole". Maybe that is because we ourselves are not whole, having never been ministered to as a whole person by others. Let's all get into alignment with God's plan. Let's take a deeper look into our own and others' soul needs, as well as the physical and spiritual. Let's bear one another's burdens.

As we grow and mature in Christ, we come to realize that we are indeed becoming undivided and whole — our body, soul and spirit submitted as one under the control of the Holy Spirit. Our need for human connection remains, but is diminished in intensity. We have come to have true intimacy with our Source. He is our Living water — the Source of Life, Who is our all in all. He is our supply — for all we need and running over, splashing on all those with whom we come in contact.

Portions of this poem describe me (my life, rejection by the church, etc.). I didn't write it, but I did edit it and add a few stanzas. As you read, please consider what love from the church may have meant in this young man's (and my) life. Then consider what your part, as a Christian, should be now.

 

Looking for Love - author unknown

(Edited from a reading on January 17, 1993 by
James Ryle, Pastor, Vineyard Bible Fellowship-Boulder Valley, Longmont, CO
in his message Healing For The Homosexual, the second message in a
three tape series entitled Homosexuality: A Time To Speak)

Galatians 6:14 through Galatians 6:18 (The Message: New Testament)

For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can't you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!

Quite frankly, I don't want to be bothered anymore by these disputes. I have far more important things to do—the serious living of this faith. I bear in my body scars from my service to Jesus.

May what our Master Jesus Christ gives freely be deeply and personally yours, my friends. Oh, yes!