1. be mentally prepared to kill a tiger with your bare hands (seriously, envision that shit, it's a great mental state to cultivate [rhyme!], you would most likely die, but the attitude of acceptance and lack of fear are extremely rewarding)

2. know all exits and hardcover, all the time
3. focus on the end results of any prospective action
4. live simply, concentrate like a roman, do not multi task

I'm getting more bearings in this place. What matters is the outcome of what you do. The outcomes that matter are the ones that make the world a better place.

Those are both simple principles, easy to adhere to, and make everything much clearer. Drinking with your friends, outcome: can strengthen friendship, makes you a fat unproductive slob if indulged too much, gives you needed social contact. Drinking alone, outcome: makes you a fat unproductive slob. Starting a weight lifting program and sticking to it, outcome: you look good, feel better, get stronger. Learning a new skill and sticking to it, outcome: you're more capable in any situation. Helping others, outcome: peoples experiences, and the world as a whole, become that much brighter. Hating, combating, punishing sin; loving sinners, outcome: sin (whatever your definition of that may be) is deterred, but not at the price of unnecessary (unjust) harm to those who commit sins. Establishing the rule of law, outcome: a monopoly on violence held by the most just apparatus yet devised, the chance for you and your loved ones to walk down the street with out fear

Any and all actions can only be judged by the outcomes they achieve. The whole point, to all of this, is the gain, the progress, everything else is entropy and waste. Judge the merit of your labors not by the feelings they evoke, but the fruits they reap.

still rockin the tude. lots of bad stuff everywhere, bad stuff doesn't seem to be anything that you deserve or earn, just something that happens, uncontrollably, to anyone at anytime in large doses or small.

face it, stare it in the eye, kick it in the nuts, move on. relax.

worst comes to worst, i'll bail with all my cool new little toys. and be free? maybe i'll go to az, there are lots of good prospects in az. and someday, switzerland? i need to head back to do a real scouting out...

i guess there's no real reason to worry. if you're resourceful, you'll be fine. just do what needs doin.

my work life is miserable, my coworker is going to get axed for being a moron. more divorces, no deaths this year (woo! yet), lots of bad things all over. everywhere. women are strange. not finding much a reason to stay here.

i think i'll be gone in a little while. i don't expect to stay. there's nothing here. at least not that i have found yet.

stick and move, kick ass, stack chips, and let goooooo. this is still so easy, you know what to do. i know it's just a little rough right now.. haha. focus on what you can see, and try to see as much as you can. what are the obstacles? peoples. what can you do? out think them. you was given a brain, you can take em.

the absolute worst that can happen is that you go down fighting. you cannot control all the vars, so don't worry about that, don't stake pride on it, stake pride on being a bad ass about it all. you should only worry about what you can control, the rest is pointless, in the most literal of ways. point less. there is no point to worrying about anything outside of your control. so move, act, strike, defend, shift; ADAPT.

g'night.

a quick rant i wrote earlier, enjoy.

-------------------------------

(12:57:42 AM) *******: so your neuron path to phrenology is mighty fine
(12:57:54 AM) *******: while your nueron path to sponge is a little crappy
(12:58:11 AM) *******: at least on the path that it takes from whatever you were using as initial input
(12:58:32 AM) *******: if it were a visual path for example you wouldn't have had a problem
(1:01:55 AM) *******: visual stuff is amazing
(1:02:02 AM) *******: if i could i'd scrap writing all together
(1:02:11 AM) *******: and move to a totally visual system
(1:02:18 AM) *******: or at least a much more visual system
(1:02:33 AM) *******: writing is pretty much a totally learned skill
(1:02:43 AM) *******: when we start, we have ZERO writing skills in us
(1:02:52 AM) *******: other than basic visual pattern recognition stuff
(1:03:12 AM) *******: while we do have a lot of basic speech recognition stuff
(1:03:26 AM) *******: intonation, gestures, etc that stuff is built in
(1:03:34 AM) *******: i think, because it's the same everywhere
(1:03:43 AM) *******: doesn't vary cross culture or cross time
(1:04:00 AM) *******: if you want back 10,000 years you could pick out an angry person and tell how they were feeling when they were saying something
(1:04:12 AM) *******: so that stuff is built in
(1:04:20 AM) *******: but writing is brand spanking new
(1:04:31 AM) *******: a completely learned skill, with no genetic basis
(1:04:43 AM) *******: which means we're SLOOOOOW at it
(1:05:03 AM) *******: i like to think of it as software vs hardware based
(1:05:14 AM) *******: or emulated vs nonemulated based
(1:05:28 AM) *******: when you run software developed for a mac on a mac, it runs fast
(1:05:39 AM) *******: when you emulate running pc software on a mac, it goes way slower
(1:05:48 AM) *******: same thing
(1:06:10 AM) *******: now, we have some visual helper stuff in our writing
(1:06:27 AM) *******: like how we canr ead mispelllled w00rds
(1:06:39 AM) *******: it's a visual pattern thing, you've probably read that
(1:06:47 AM) *******: imagine if we created a more visual language
(1:07:39 AM) *******: or more visual computer interfaces
(1:07:51 AM) *******: circles and squares and colors and other easy patterns
(1:08:06 AM) *******: instead of reading in context, and trying to assume it
(1:08:09 AM) *******: red is angry
(1:08:11 AM) *******: blue is sad
(1:08:19 AM) *******: green is happy
(1:08:21 AM) *******: that kind of stuff
(1:08:41 AM) *******: pictures, circles, squares, sounds
(1:09:01 AM) *******: all those other communication mediums, are almost totally untapped
(1:09:19 AM) .......: I went to the restroom and missed a bunch
(1:09:22 AM) *******: when it comes to information in books
(1:09:30 AM) *******: hehe
(1:09:35 AM) *******: probably good, i went uninterrupted
(1:11:41 AM) .......: Haha
(1:11:44 AM) .......: INteresting stuff
(1:11:54 AM) .......: Hadn't considered the visual recognition of unspelled words before
(1:11:55 AM) .......: Interesting
(1:15:46 AM) *******: yeah, all visual patterns
(1:15:52 AM) *******: first and last letters they say
(1:16:44 AM) .......: Pretty cool
(1:17:54 AM) *******: yeah, brains studying brains
(1:18:01 AM) *******: looking in the mirror so to speak
(1:18:17 AM) .......: Makes you wonder how possible it is
(1:18:18 AM) *******: deducing that that object in the mirror isn't something else, but us
(1:18:32 AM) .......: It just seems impossible that a thing could ever truly understand itself
(1:19:03 AM) *******: i think we're getting closer and closer
(1:19:07 AM) *******: the trick is finding inputs
(1:19:13 AM) *******: we're a pattern recognition thing
(1:19:22 AM) *******: but to find patterns you need inputs
(1:19:32 AM) *******: we don't have enough input yet
(1:19:45 AM) *******: but it's the same thing as a computer
(1:20:06 AM) *******: cumputers take 1's and 0's and based on rules create logical structures
(1:20:41 AM) *******: you can feed it anything, if the software is done right, and it'll start doing patterns
(1:20:50 AM) *******: same with us
(1:21:00 AM) *******: we're just a hell of a lot cooler and more advanced
(1:21:52 AM) *******: it's AMAZING to think of us
(1:21:55 AM) *******: like a baby
(1:22:06 AM) *******: a baby starts out with nothing but the preprogrammed genetic stuff
(1:22:22 AM) *******: and that stuff is so general, that it can take visual stuff
(1:22:24 AM) *******: junk at first
(1:22:32 AM) *******: babies have no idea what all that input must mean
(1:22:41 AM) *******: and then the patterns emerge

-----------------------------

in sum, books were once constrained by the limitations of printing presses. now they aren't. same with our other learning methods, textbooks for example. constrained by non moving images, and used to be constrained by non colored text.

those limitations have been removed, but we haven't caught up. a business idea i have been toying with, is a new media based learning system. i.e. interactive. since i have not done this yet, i thought i'd throw it out there. if anyone would like to collobarate, let me know. you could make a metric fuckton of money doing it.

percentages of black voters voting obama:

NC: 92%
IN: 90%
AL: 83%
PA: 85%
TX: 85%
OH: 88%

this goes on and on and on..

this morning i heard on NPR that obama lost indiana because race is a big issue for white people there (i.e. white people are racists, as usual) white voters were ~%60 hillary, ~%40 obama.

all data (for tram tram) here: http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/primaries/results/scorecard/ under exit polls after you click on a state

america is very racist still, but it ain't white people who are the primary culrpits anymore, we've all been scolded until we feel so guilty that we ignore it when it happens to us. now we've got hate mongers like wright (AIDS was a virus invented by the government to kill black people), sharpton, and all the rest. not to mention every black comedian out there who wont stop talking about cops and white people. there will always be some racism, on every side, but this is ridiculous.

please don't justify it because this may be the first black president, racism is racism, are you for race based voting? or against it?

i can't help but think i have entered the next phase of my life. it's great. it's goofy, and audacious, and funny. it is extremely realistic, but it is cocky and funny. snide. it is more solitary, but that is okay. i am a new self. becoming my own place to stand, place to feel secure, my own rock. coming to rely on myself, and to be original, and to push limits that aren't readily thought of or understood.

limitless, but skilled, dreamy, but effective. yes. is good.

anyways. business foray, the third. or fourth? i don't know anymore. but it's awesome. we'll see how it goes, i've learned a lot, i actually have experience in this shit, i know what makes sense, what doesn't. it's to die for. it's shocking me that i know what to do, how to do it, plans of actions, structures.

structure structure structure. it is the difference between flailing your arms and swimming. structure, pattern, makes you effective. can be applied to everything. effective is all that matters.

and always, ALWAYS, hack away at the inessential. make what is essential, the rest is a distraction, a path to get lost in that doesn't provide a suitable return. only things that are needed, should be done. get it?

anyways. lots of adventures too. and a new car soon, soon as i get back from europe, leather seats, convertible, fast, efficient :). lots of things like that. ridiculous things. FUN things. is all that is worth doing anyways. get it?

well. cheers.

i spend probably at minimum an hour a day watching events unfold around the world. venezuela recently hit the news in it's tiff with colombia, and here's the information i've gathered on it.

what's gone down so far:
venezuela and ecuador have some kind of deal going on and have advanced to colombia borders. venezuela has officially closed it's border to colombia.

VENEZUELA:
chavez is a militant communist douche bag who has been ramping up his military and been an irritant to the peace in south america for a while now. he openly back FARC, the drug lord rebel group that is trying to overthrow the popularly elected government of colombia. the venezuelan military is pretty tiny compared to colombia, but they have some decent tech, which i will review below:

air: 7,000 strong. venezuela could get air superiority, they have new fighter jets (14 active Sukhoi-30's w/ 10 more scheduled for delivery this year) from china. they say they have f16's but they've been trying to ditch them for a while and trade them to another country because we aren't supplying them parts, my guess is they're useless and not able to fly. the sukhoi's are pretty intense, considering colombia supposedly only has some 70's jets from israel, supposedly, more on that soon. air superiority is a really big danger though.

land: 34,000 strong. tanks (which are mostly pointless because tank fighting doesn't work in jungles, they'll only be useful on the few highways and if they ever got to a city). the tanks are AMX 30's, which are kind of the laughing stock of tanks, but considering colombia has no tanks, it could be a big problem. modern anti tank weopons, which colombia should have plenty of from us either infantry based or launched from helicopters would be the defense from that. danger there too. if venezuela can take the air, and the helicopters are fucked, then colombia is at real risk from those tanks.

naval: 18,000 strong. i don't know that much about it, but i don't think it matters, this looks to be mostly a land war. panama is an ally, and we control the seas if we chose to get involved, we currently have a nimitz class battle group en route to brazil for exercises.

COLOMBIA:
colombia is pretty legit, it's been dealing with the FARC rebels for a long time. the leader is popularly elected, he's a stand up guy as far as i'm concerned, very admirable. whereas chavez reminds me of hitler.

air: publicly they have 11 kfir's, which are isreali fighters from the 70's with lots of electronics and missile upgrades from us. privately, if you do some digging, they've been training with f16 block 50's and 52's which are the latest and greatest since at least 2006. here's one: http://unffmm.com/Galerias/Fac/fair%20general/fair13.jpg i have no idea how an air battle would go, what kind of fighters they have now, or if we'd help with our aircraft carrier. air superiority is going to be very important though, no matter what happens, it's their best bet to stop the tanks.

land: huge forces, above 89,000. infantry, no tanks. geared towards guerilla war and jungle fighting to deal with the rebels. don't know how they'd fare against those tanks, but they'll have to stick to anti tank weapons and infantry with air support, which is why air superiority is crucial.

naval: again, doesn't really matter.

ECUADOR:
they work with and harbor FARC, the colombian rebels. they've moved troops to the border as well. don't know much about them, looking in to it. this means colombia has 2 fronts.

FARC:
drug lords basically, they kidnap kill and extort for money. currently have around 760 civilians hostage including the opposition presidential candidate for colombia.

by Christopher Nyerges

I hadn't been able to sleep much the night before, so I arose very early. It was Saturday, and the sun had not begun to rise over the hills to the east. It was very quiet, and I could actually feel the collective heave and sigh of relief as the city took a break from the madness of racing around day after day so you can afford to do whatever it is that you believe you'd rather be doing than racing around every day making money.

The streets were still dark, and cool, and devoid of people. I began to bicycle through the streets of Pasadena, working my way first through the downtown apartment areas, and then gradually north where there were more trees and bigger yards. The mountains were glowing with the rising sun, and by now the sky was light and birds were chirping everywhere. A few cars were now on the road, and an occasional jogger whished by on the sidewalk.

The city was magical when everyone slept. Oh, I knew that there was some chance of encountering no-good criminals who would try to accost or rob me -- that's part of the tightness of the city. But everyone seemed to be asleep, even the muggers. I didn't even see homeless, for they too were tucked away in whatever spots they'd found for staying warm.

The sun took its time in rising and the sky was overcast and cloudy on this early Saturday morning. A cool breeze blew down the city streets as a mountain breeze might blow down a canyon. Where you'd expect to see hawks perched high in the tallest mountain trees, I saw pigeons perched on the edges of the tall buildings. No matter what man does, nature usually adapts, and ultimately overcomes.

I began to bicycle to the north, towards the mountains and Altadena, to nowhere in particular except north. What had been a truly casual and leisurely ride was now becoming a bit of work as I went uphill closer to the mountains. I slowly and eventually rode to the very base of the mountains and watched a group of Boy Scouts unloading from the family vans and station wagons and loading on their backpacks for a day or weekend of adventure. I could see the excitement in their faces and hear it in their voices. For most of them, this would be a first adventure in campcraft.

I turned my bicycle around and began to coast back down the hill, and after a few miles, I turned down a street where a family I knew lived. I slowly bicycled by and saw that only Jim, the young six-year-old, was out in the yard playing. I said hello, and he recognized me and said hello. He asked me if I wanted to see the dirt people. I got off my bike, and got down on my hands and knees, and he showed me the little tunnels and trails of the dirt people, and he showed me where they lived, and how they drove around on little pebbles. He pushed a pebble with a long stick, and made a sound like an automobile engine.

"See how they go?" he said, excited. "Make yours go," he commanded, and so I began to push a little pebble around with a stick. I had to make sounds like a car when the dirt people wanted to turn quick or stop suddenly, and I had to keep the pebble on the roads that Jim had built. Jim told me about the monsters that come out sometimes and the dirt people have to run and hide, because the monsters are so powerful.

He pointed to a little ant that had come out of a hole, and Jim gave voice to the monster-ant, a slow, deep growl as it walked along the dirt people's road. I was informed that the monster always takes the easy path along the dirt people's road, because the monster was lazy. That was its weakness, and the dirt people could use that fact to their advantage when they wage a war against the monsters.

Each pebble, each leaf, each stick, each undulation of the ground had a name and a meaning in Jim's world into which I had entered. I was lying there in the dirt with him, pushing a pebble, making sounds, and truly enjoying myself when his mother came out.

"What are you guys doing?" she asked.

"The dirt people are all getting together because the monsters are getting ready to invade. We watched the monsters begin the war, and the dirt people are now all trying to defend themself, right?" he looks at me.

His mother looks at me sideways, noting that I am covered in dirt as is Jim. She smiles, and says only "Oh." She just stands there and looks, and I know that it means nothing to Jim, but I feel the censure of an adult in the adult world, and I realize that I should feel embarrassment. When I think about it, I realize that I did feel a little embarrassed, but mainly because somehow I've been taught that some things are for children and some things are for adults. Adults are not allowed entry into the make-believe world of children, at least not by other adults.

So after a while, I got up, and shook off the dust. I told Jim's mother that I was just passing by, and I said goodbye to Jim. I rode on, and eventually headed back home.

I had truly enjoyed myself lying there in the dirt, without video games or electronic entertainers. We were enjoying a simple pleasure of life that required nothing but an active imagination and the ability to believe. And that's what's wrong with adults. Our bodies got older and we allowed our minds to ossify. We put aside imagination for pragmatism, and we gave up the ability to believe for hard-earned cynicism.

That morning, I realized that childhood ends when you can no longer lie in the dirt and imagine.

"When I was last here in '05 and '06, it was unheard of to get out of your vehicles for this long. And if you were on foot for very long, security was tight. Gunners at every corner; armed Humvees bounding from street to street to provide cover; a screening force patrolling adjacent alleys; a QRF ready to jump at a moment's notice.

Not now.

Instead it's traffic cops with blue-peaked hats and little white paddles directing cars, cabs and trucks around the main traffic circle of Karmah. Shops were open, kids were swarming, and we couldn't walk 10 feet without having to shake someone's hand. It's not so much a difference of security than it is of attitude. I don't know how it is all over Iraq, but at least in Karmah -- where insurgents and AQ terrorists found a bastion after Fallujah and Ramadi flipped -- the atmosphere has changed. People smile at the Marines rather than glower at them with cold, contemptuous stares."

------------------------------------------------------

god i hope it lasts. i was very much opposed to the war at it's beginning, the reasons were BS. a year or two ago, i changed my mind. not that going was right, but that leaving was wrong. the real reason i think we went, was to create something new in the middle east. and we have. now if only it can grow. the revolutions of the 1700's changed the entire world, every western nation turned, one by one, following in the foot steps of the others.

it makes me all teary eyed to think about it, to see these people not having to worry about being killed walking down the street, voting privileges, equality under law, justice, courts, smiling at marines, shaking our hands, because we've brought real, tangible good in to their lives. IF it works, if it lasts, then it doesn't matter why the war was started, doesn't matter what it cost. if it works the entire world would be changed for the better. i think that that's worth the price. the end result is valuable beyond comparison. if we can buck the patriarchy, the terrorism (and slowly but surely we have, it is condemned by more and more people every day, old terrorist groups are forming voting blocs and working through the system for change now, are fighting against al qaeda and working with our troops), the religious rule, and if it can be a shining beacon that gets the rest of the region to demand change, because they can see it and touch it, they will want it.

tienanmen square was the result of the fax machine. information, example, is supreme.