Hi dear non-readers. So, what's been happening to me of late? Suck. That's what
s been happening. Plain old suck.

Let's see. Mid October, I get the flu. Or whatever I though was the flu. Took a monday off, then went back Tuesday. And had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance. My blood sugar was all kinds of low and they couldn't get it to stay up. That's the first accusation of Munchausen. I was accused of taking insulin to make my blood sugar low. For shits and giggles I suppose. Feeling like you're going to throw up and pass out and flop on the floor like a fish out of water. Fun times - I sign up for those as often as I can. No, asshole nurse, I didn't do it to myself.

I get admitted with undiagnosed problems, one of them being sepsis. That = infection in the bloodstream. Like, when you have an infection that gets so bad it gets into the bloodstream. Apparently my white blood cell count was more than 3 times the normal amount. I get loads of fluids because I'm anemic, and finally get my gallbladder removed. I had multiple stones and other ickiness. And great flying spaghetti monster, the pain after surgery. I had one of those pumps that you push the button for painkillers every 7 minutes and I hurt too bad to use it. I had to go back to a smaller amount every four hours. Stupid pain, I don't like you.

I was discharged two days later. Went hom in some serious pain. I went to my pain management dr two days later and had my already huge doses of painkillers increased. That was a Tuesday. That week I was so sick I could hardly get out of bed, even to pee. The following Monday I had an appointment with the surgeon. At that point, I hadn't pooped in 14 days. Despite many, uh, attempts to get me to go. Then I had a poo that was white. WHITE! And, uh, fluffy. I don't know...it didn't look like it should have come from my ass. I was also running a high fever and had an infection. I was sent back to the hospital. Which was a fiasco that I won't even go into here. After many hours of waiting, I finally was sent to the ER with tests done. Another infection, this time a UTI (they say) and anemia. Which, you know, is concern since I just had surgery. Even though it was a laproscopic surgery. I shouldn't have lost much, if any, blood. My Hemoglobin was 9.4. Normal for a woman my age should be between 11 - 16.

After two days in the hospital, the hospitalist doctor said that there was nothing medically wrong with me besides being morbidly obese and needing psychiatric care because I'm making all these symptoms up. I guess so I can get IV painkillers and nausea meds. Because even though the hospital meds are weaker than what I take at home, apparently I like it better. Whatever. So I left. That was the second nod towards Munchausen...that I was just making up illnesses to get drugs, surgery, testing.

On Friday I woke up around 5am puking what smelled of poo. And had the color of poo. And since I hadn't eaten much and only pooped once in three weeks...chances were good that there was a blockage - a bowel obstruction. And perhaps a bile duct obstruction or leak even. Back in the hospital per my surgeons orders. I had to go through the ER and the staff refused to page my surgeon as he had suggested. Not until the next day did he get notified. Well, anyway...there was the nonstop puking. Oh, and my blood count had gone down to 8.2....indicating a bleed somewhere. The next morning, when asshole doctor came to see me, I asked if it was my fat ass that made me lose such a significant amount of blood in two days, or what that all in my head. After some back and forth banter, I apparently was looking at him with a raised eyebrow. And, no lie, the doctor said "If you're going to make faces like that at me, perhaps you should find another doctor." Uh....the fuck? The thing was, I had been trying to find another doctor. It's not so easy. Luckily the surgeon and GI doctor understood my loathing at the hospitalist and basically took him off my case - I didn't see him anymore.

Many, many tests later it was determined that I had gastric paresis. Which basically means that when I eat, it takes two or three times longer for me to process it through my stomach before it even starts to be digested. And this is what supposed to be causing the unbearable pain and constant nausea. Who knows. All I can say is that during the last month I've lost about 30 pounds. Which is a lot, really. Even if I am a fat chick...it's not normal to lose that much, that quickly.

So, I get out. I have two weeks before I see my doctor. There's this big waiting thing going on with work. As in, nobody will talk to me about it. Meanwhile, disability insurance hasn't kicked in. They say they're having problems getting ahold of my doctor. So I haven't been paid since the beginning of October. As you might imagine, this is taking a toll of my financially.

Something bad happened last week....but I don't remember. Then this past Monday, I got fired. For being sick. Because they couldn't accommodate me being sick. Even though I hadn't asked to go to the hospital in the first place, my boss made me Whatever.

In response to being fired, I took a few too many Xanax and wound up in a mental ward in a hospital for three days. Fun times. I slept through pretty much everything except meal times, med times and doctor times. I didn't do "group" therapy and the like. Oh well.

I had a meeting with social worker and my mom Tuesday. Since I was getting out the next day I gave her my clothes and such, keeping just my purse. She brought it home and left it in my car. Well, my car was burgled again last night. They took my cute pink Puma bag with clothes....including new undies and jammies that my aut gave me. I have no clue what else was taken from me, what else was in the bag. They also went through my glove compartment and console were ransacked...all change and the couple of dollars I had hidden are gone. Seriously, what assholes?

Now my car battery is dead. I'm not sure if the burglar left the dome light on or if my mom did...now I have to get the brand new battery.

Oh, and last week? My already crappy tooth broke in half. It hurts and is all sharp and sad. I need to find a dentist that accepts my insurance and will let me pay in a

What stupidness.

I Catalog Them by Penis Size and Strange Bodily Features

Redhead: You seriously don't know where Bruce Willis was born?
Brunette: No.
Redhead: I can tell you where half the actors I'm in love with were born.
Brunette: Honey, I can't even tell you where half the men I've slept with were born.
Redhead: That's true.
Brunette: Hell, I'm lucky if I remember their last names.

Bwahaha! Oh how true this is.

Wes and I kissed and made up. I'm very happy about this.

I have a kitten. She's adorable and doesn't know how to meow.

I have my own internets now. The stolen ones went away, which forced me to pay for my own. Bastards.

It's fucking cold, which is not a huzzah. However I have a fireplace in my apartment. But, as pointed out by the Andy, I do not have fireplace accessories for utilizing it. Still, in theory, I could make a fire.

I love my new apartment, and it's my own. Even if I do have my dad living on my couch, I still have a cute little apartment. And my bedroom has a mirrored wall. It's actually kind of sexy.

My job is boring, but at least I'm back at work. My first paycheck comes tomorrow. It's been a long time.

Things pretty much seem to be working out. For the most part.

So I'm back in Tampa now, and back at work - where I have very little to do. The bulk of our responsibilities have been transferred to a different group and location. It means a lot of internet surfing for me.

I have a cute apartment in South Tampa that I adore. My dad is staying with me for the time being, not sure when he's going back to WV. I guess he may even decide he likes it here and will stay himself. I'm sure once summer comes (with the heat, humidity and daily downpours) he'll rethink that. But he's enjoying wearing shorts in February.

I'm doing much better mentally, I'm finally on the right medications I think. That was such a frustrating process and I really felt like I'd never feel "normal" again. And my anxiety levels were so high that I could hardly function. My therapist said that she thought the depression was secondary to anxiety; all my problems were brought on by anxiety disorder. I took one of those tests to determine what's going on in your head, and I was basically at the highest possible levels for anxiety, depression and anger and submissiveness, and the lowest levels for self esteem and socialization. Oddly enough, I had the ideal amount of self control, despite everything else being out of whack. Anyway, I've been doing really well with working/talking to people, hanging out with friends, etc since I've been back. And I don't feel all shitty about myself either. The anxiety is definitely still there, but I have the medicine to help me with that now. I need to either set up phone appointments with my previous therapist or find another one here.

Ugh, the clock is getting later and later...I better go to bed before I have to wake up! Otherwise I'll fall asleep on the job - and I won't be alone tomorrow! Plus tomorrow night I get to hang out with a good friend, which should prove entertaining. I spent the weekend with my former supervisor (she got a different job) and had so much fun. It's weird, I normally don't get along well with girls; I just don't mesh with them that well. But Kimm is so laid back and awesome - it's a blast to be around her. We did pedicures, lunch and shopping on Saturday then a movie and shopping on Sunday. Oh and she gifted me with free stuff for my apartment! I got dishes and a tv! And she said she'd give me her old treadmill too. All kinds of kickass. Another friend is going to give me some of his old crap too. It's kind of cool - people get to clean their house of stuff they don't use and I get things I really need for the apartment. It works out well for everyone.

Ok, to bed I go!

I just read the best headline ever.

Scientists monitor migration of tiny saw-whet owls: Fist-sized raptors captured while flying to southern destinations.

They captured wee bitty raptors! And they did it with a gossamer net strung along the Appalachian Trail.

I got a new necklace today - I like...what do you think?

It's been a rough summer, and pretty tough the last week or so, but I'm finally home. It feels so good to be back in Florida.

More to come later.

Those who know me know that I have a few pet peeves when it comes to grammar. In most cases, I'll let things slide. If it's not a formal writing, then it needn't be polished perfectly. If it's documentation, I want clarity in it. It must be concise and readable to everyone, especially those people whose native language is not English.

However. Some things piss me off. Let's review, shall we?

I can't stand when the word "marshmallow" is misspelled. Why does everyone think it's marshmellow? That just looks wrong. Besides, "marshmallow" is perfect in every way. The weight of the word, the way it flows from the tongue, the satisfaction when writing it. The only thing that isn't good is eating one. Today alone I have seen marshmallow misspelled four times.

Well fuck. I had a mental list of things that piss me off, but the marshmallow bit took over.

Oh, I know! I cannot stand people using semicolons incorrectly. Just say no if you don't understand the proper usage! It connects independant phrases. This means that the phrases a semicolon connects could stand as their own sentence.

I also get a little pissy over who/whom...but I'll leave that one go for tonight.

Just another rant from your friendly, neighborhood Grammar Girl!

Also, I just saw my profile after the last entry was posted, and my "status" said I was a swinger. The fuck? Thanks, MySpace Tom. I can't keep one person, let alone a revolving set of handy fucks.

So I'm sitting in the airport, and decided to check how much money I had in the bank since my paycheck was just deposited and I bought very expensive dinner last night (seriously, I spent 60 dollars for the main purpose of having Pepsi delivered to my door.) Anyway, I check my account and there were two deposits. One was quite obviously my paycheck since it was my paycheck amount. The other is for a little more than half of what my paycheck is. I'm so confused, and since it's still pending I have no clue what it's from or if it will even stay there. I hate mind trickery like this.