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TAT

Last Updated: 5/23/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 31
Sign: Pisces

State: Indiana
Country: US
Signup Date: 3/22/2006

Blog Archive

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March 19, 2009 - Thursday

I'm Back
Current mood:

aggravated

Well I'm back online so I will get pics updated and shit like that done as soon as I can. Gotta work too tho so it won't be done like right now so stop lookin. I'll let ya know when I get it done!! AND KARA keep postin the dumb shit blogs you do LOL and GYPSY call me when you get a chance!!

2:00 AM

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August 23, 2008 - Saturday

Irony
Current mood:

annoyed

Well let's see we conceived on X-Mas which is sucky enuf but now the doctor scheduled the c-section for September 11. It's bad enough who the parents are, this kid's life is going to be screwed up enough without having to be born on that day. I mean c'mon how much irony can one person take. We're hoping to go into labor early naturally.

As most of you know we moved from North Dakota. And maybe we were spoiled up there or whatnot with the schools and doctors. Down here it took us forever to get my son registered for school and he can't go to the one a block away. NOOOOO he has to go to one all the way the fuck across town. It took over a month to get a doctor's appointment. Since I had to re-schedule my appointment that was on Monday I now have to wait until October to go. How fuckin nice. Thankfully my OB is in a different office in a different part of town or I'd go nutz.

Now that we're here I was informed that the insurance his biological has on him does not work yet they still need all the info I don't have. Since the privacy shit and since I am not the one carrying the insurance nobody will talk to me or do anything. Stupid shit like this is why my son can't see the dentist or eye doctor for now. Child support will take 3 months before they can do anything. It's in transfer. Stupid is what it is.

Done ranting now. Thought I would update everyone on the BS and the Demon Baby.

1:17 AM

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May 5, 2008 - Monday

TIME TO PARTY
Current mood:

amused

It's official I graduated. In a few weeks they will send my degree out. I have my bachelors in Criminal Justice with an emphasis on Forensic Psychology!!
Now go out and have a few drinks for me since I can't.

Wednesday we find out what sex the gremlin is. We are going into our 21st week so we've made it 1/2 way. WOOO HOOO GO PARTY FOR ME!!!

11:36 AM

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April 24, 2008 - Thursday

FUCK IT
Current mood:

ashamed

Is that seat taken
Congratulations
Would you like to take a walk with me
My mind it kind of goes fast
I try to slow it down for you
I think i'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years
My heart
My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
I came to see the light in my best friend
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been
My chance of being open was broken
And now you're Mrs. him.
My words they don't come out right
But I'll try to say i'm happy for you
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I have wanted to give to you for years
My hearts
My heart, my pain won't cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
My heart
My heart won't take this cover up
You left me.. hu hu hu hu
And I can't change this
I can never take it back
But now I can't change your mind
(You left me)
And I can't this
I can never take this back
But now I can't change your mind
can't change your mind
(You left me)
Can't change you mind
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)
(You left me)
Go away
Make it go away

6:22 PM

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April 7, 2008 - Monday

Listen Up
Current mood:

evil

Ok so here’s the deal, when you know someone who is pregnant or maybe you don’t know them DO NOT TOUCH THEIR STOMACH!!! You do not have the right to just go up and start touching. I know it’s a pregnancy thing and it’s uncontrollable. First off control your fuckin self and the next person to touch mine will get punched. You are forewarned.
Secondly we had some bad news. My dad was diagnosed with a type of cancer of the blood. It affects his bones and they can break which has happened which is how he was diagnosed. A couple days before that my uncle had a heart attack and small stroke.
Better news. We are out of here next month. Gonna move be with my significant other and enjoy the rest of my life.

JUST A REMINDER DON’T GO AROUND TOUCHING PREGNANT PEOPLE’S BELLYS UNLESS YOU ASK THEM FIRST!!!!!!

11:56 AM

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December 4, 2007 - Tuesday

Thanks Kara
Current mood:

animated

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years..

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM...

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know

9:58 PM

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October 8, 2007 - Monday

My other personality
Current mood:

accomplished

I made this vid under my other profile!! I love the song. Thanks Scotty Satan for making me listen to it!!

6:24 PM

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September 16, 2007 - Sunday

Can’t get enough

7:24 PM

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July 22, 2007 - Sunday

TO ALL THE MOMS
Current mood:

busy

Mom's Job Description

A Mother's Resume

If it had been presented this way, would you have done it?

(I would and I dedicate this to all mothers in the world. Hope you have a good day and a great weekend ahead!)

POSITION:

Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and must be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

For the rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.00 and must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule! And be able to go from 0 to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets, and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organise social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute and an embarrassment the next and handle assembly and product safety testing of a half a million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product and responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the house, including taking care of and catering to the family cat or dog.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses: a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and FREE HUGS FOR LIFE if you play your cards right!

1:38 PM

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July 22, 2007 - Sunday

How to bathe a cat
Current mood:

busy

Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
          *

          Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats
          Lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of
          Some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk
-
          Dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

          I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most
          Blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to
          The contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the
          Garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the
          Fireplace.

          The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when
He
          Must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to
          The contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a
          Port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

          When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I
Have
          Some advice you might consider as you place your feline
Friend
          Under your arm and head for the bathtub:

          -- Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness
          And lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of
          Strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the
          Battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he
          Can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If
          Your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that
          You get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass
          Doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower
          Curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply
          Rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift
          Positions.)

          -- Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove
          All the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you
          Are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I
          Recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction
          Boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey
          Face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

          -- Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out
          For a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak
          Jacket. Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo
          Is inside the glass enclosure. Make sure the towel can be
          Reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.

          -- Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat
Nonchalantly,
          As if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not
          Usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no
          Interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb,
          Calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing
          Experiment for J.C. Penney.) -- Once you are inside the
          Bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid
          Motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure,
          Slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and
Squirt
          Him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45
Seconds
          Of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now
          Has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do
Not
          Expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds
At
          A time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give
          Him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then
          Spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing
          Himself off. (The national record for cats is three
          Latherings, so don't expect too much.)

          -- Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always
          Assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans
          Generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just
          Getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple
          Compared to what you have just been through. That's because
By
          Now the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You
          Simply pop the drain plug with you foot, reach for your towel
          And wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up
Clinging
          To the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best
          Thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him
          Toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the
Tub,
          It is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

          In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from
          Your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three
          Weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to
          You. He might even become psycho ceramic and develop the
Fixed
          Stare of a plaster figurine.

          You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually
          The case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through
          your defenses and injure you for life the next time you
decide
          to give him a bath.

          But at least now he smells a lot better.