You can only do it for so long before it becomes monotonous, and I'm bored with it. I want a co-pilot to make navigating life more fun, if not easier. I've proven I can do it alone - but I don't want to do it anymore.

Where do you start at this late stage of life?

I cannot understand how Coalition Forces are engaged in an unwinnable guerilla war in Afghanistan while Robert Mugabe, like a modern-day Emperor Nero, is allowed to preside over a rampant Cholera epidemic he and his corrupt regime are trying to hide from the world - and this after years of living the high life while his people are suffering an economic crisis of his making. The number of Cholera deaths remains unknown because the deaths are going deliberately unrecorded. And hospitals are unable to function, leaving people to die on the handcarts they were brought to the hospitals on.

Surely the international community should be in Zimbabwe forcibly removing him instead? 

So, I went to the hospital yesterday for an appointment with my Consultant Urologist (see blog entry "Bloody Hell" for all the gory background details). The news isn't terrific. The kidney stone I have is probably too big to be dissolved by radio waves, so I may have to have a keyhole procedure to remove it. The thing is, they're making me wait THREE MONTHS until I get a decision. But that means I can't book my Christmas holiday in Spain until they tell me when it can be done.

If it wasn't against my political principles, I'd consider going private.

Harumph!   

I've just got back from spending an inadvertent 4 days in hospital. I had a sudden onset of a bladder infection on Sunday morning, which required urgent investigation and (very painful) treatment. The details would be too eye-watering for you to read, so you're saved from them - THIS time.

I honestly thought that was it - I was a goner - until they reassured me it wasn't life-threatening. I'm just glad I overrode the temptation to leave it and "see what happens", because I KNOW that would've been the end of me. I was losing way too much blood. And the thought of never seeing my nephew grow up is too much for me to even contemplate.

Thanks to the skill and dedication of the medical staff at the local National Health Service hospital I am here to tell the tale. We British often moan about it, but I have been saved too many times by it to complain for too long. The truth is, we're lucky to have it. I would probably never have survived childhood if there was no NHS.

 

I give you:

Pure Espresso SODA!

http://www.manhattanspecial.com/products_pure_espresso.html

I'm getting the Caffeine jitters just thinking about it....

My doctor gave me yet another pill for my high blood pressure. I took it for the first time, and I have that feeling you get after a night on the booze, where you’re not hungover, but opretty damn close. My face is flushed, I feel tired, puffy around the eyes and a tad spaced-out, but not exactly dizzy. If this keeps up I’ll have to get back to my doc, because I’m reluctant to drive in this state. I was going to have a drink tonight, but I’m already feeling the woozy effect without enjoying the taste - so I don’t think I’ll bother.

Got into a bit of a spat with someone this afternoon. I was trying to get them to understand that it isn't just simply a matter of deciding to change your life that helps you to achieve it. There IS a certain amount of luck involved, and being in the right place at the right time - physically and mentally. I related my story of how I have struggled since 1995 to find employment as a person who not only has a physical condition, but also Depression. I told him that statistically, Disabled people ARE less likely to be employed than our non-disabled counterparts.

Apparently, I was "bitchining and whining"- according to him at least. Maybe I lack the relentless "can do" attitude that Americans have - but then, I am British. We tend as a country to be more cynical/realistic (make your mind up which is more relevant). And I've found that those people who are really successful never seem to tell you how you can do what they did.

So ends my first blog of the year. I'd hoped to be more optimistic, but I'm afraid that is eluding me today.