Sexe : Male
Statut : En couple
Age : 20
Zodiaque: Balance
Ville : Tucson
Région : Arizona
Pays: US
Date d’inscription :: 21/02/2005
|
|
|
|
janvier 22, 2010 - vendredi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  oublié
I remember all the good times we had together. I remember them, and I am happy.
I remember prom, and every time I looked at you I was in awe at how beautiful you were.
I remember getting cake smeared all over my face, and enjoying spending time with you.
I remember going to daddy's house, and having premonitions of Mustangs come true.
I remember buying this little puppy that you couldn't put down, and feeling jealous of that little furry guy.
I remember Stellar, and how even the stars couldn't compare.
I remember giving you a necklace, and you never taking it off.
I remember the trench coat with no sleeves.
I remember jogging like a gazelle, smiling and laughing at my own expense.
I remember you looking goofy wearing my fedora, but the whole time wondering, how did I ever find someone so beautiful.
I remember getting my eyebrow pierced, and almost passing out. And I remember who was there to hold me up when I almost fell over.
I remember tattoos, and how I didn't really feel up to it, but I did it anyway. And I never regretted it.
I remember reading Green Eggs and Ham in the back of a bookstore, sitting in the corner.
I remember drinking with both hands, because I didn't want to make a mess.
I remember lobsters, dinner, and water.
I remember selling eggs.
I remember flying motorcycles.
I remember you not being able to change the channel when that creepy little bastard came on TV, and I remember who you clung to for safety.
I remember Love Rocks.
I remember The Love Song, and how it brought tears to your eyes, but I could never remember how to play it.
I remember taking walks down the street when it was too cold, and holding you to bring you warmth.
I remember Gosha Bish. And I remember Simba.
I remember being a cantankerous little boy with no high horse.
I remember the first kiss, by the bonfire.
I remember all these things and so many more.
I remember the good times, and I smile.
I hope that someday, hopefully, you can remember these things too, and maybe then you can smile too.
And I hope that when you do remember, you remember me, and all the fun we've had.
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
janvier 22, 2010 - vendredi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  trahi
Two years. Three months. Six days.
That's how long she had feelings for another man.
That's how long she'd been hiding this from me, all the while telling me to be completely honest with her with everything.
She broke up with me because she had feelings for someone else, and thought it to be the best action to end our relationship and try one with him. She wants to know if she loves me or him better.
I wish her the best of luck, and I hope she knows how much she means to me. Even after all this, I still love her with all my heart and soul, and I would still do anything to make sure she's happy. I would obviously prefer her to be happy with me, but whatever she thinks she needs is what she will get.
I just don't see how she thinks he's a better man, when I have done everything in my power to keep her as happy as possible these last 2+ years. I completely changed my life around for her. I gave her as much of what she wanted as I could, and it apparently still wasn't enough. It's not like it's weird for a 24 year old guy to date an 18 year old girl or anything, right? It's not like he hasn't already been in trouble for things to do with her in the past or anything, right?
And it's not like I wouldn't still take a bullet for her... right?
And it's not like I wouldn't still carry the world on my shoulders for her... right?
And it's not like I wouldn't reach out and catch a falling star for her...
Or protect her from whatever she needed to be protected from...
Or love her til the end of time, no matter what happens...
Or raise children with her...
It's not like that. Not at all...
Not to her anyway... Apparently.
Nicole. I love you. I always will. And I'm always here for you.
I just wanna know one thing. Does he know what you talked to me about tonight?
Does he know how much you mean to me?
Does he know how much pain he's caused me?
Does he know how much I suffer just from hearing his name?
And does he know why you're dating him?
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
janvier 21, 2010 - jeudi
 |
Humeur actuelle :weak, broken, shattered to pieces, alone and torn
Two years. Three months. Six days.
That's how long I dated her. I've loved this woman with my entire heart, soul, mind, and body for even longer. Everything I do, I do it for her. I gave up all my old habits, all the shit that made me the man I never wanted to be in the first place. It was all just so I could spend the rest of my life with her. That's all I want now, is just to be by her side again.
The last few months of our relationship, to be honest, were hard on both of us. There was a lot of shit going on in both of our lives. It finally got to the point where she said that she needed to take time off from "us" to do some soul searching, and find out exactly what it is she wants out of life. She feels like she hasn't had the time or opportunities in her past to experience all that life has to offer. I was fine with this. I didn't see anything wrong with it at all. I mean, come on, we're both still young.
But, what I don't understand, is why she doesn't want me there to enjoy the simple things in life with her.
She broke up with me the day after she spent the whole day with one of her ex boyfriends. I figured that this was kinda fishy, so I asked her right out if she broke up with me because of someone else. She denied this, and I have no reason not to believe her. I asked her if she needed to be around someone else, and she also said that this wasn't true. Also, I have no reason not to believe her on this on either.
But now she's telling me that there's something going on that she just can't tell me or anybody else about, because if she did, she would lose me forever. So obviously, I have no idea what the hell is going on with her. She keeps reassuring me that this is just a temporary break from our relationship, but I'm finding that hard to believe. She won't even give me a chance to hear what she has to say and either accept it or go down another road. This can go in two different directions. Either she can tell me and possibly lose me with the truth out in the open, or she can let me find out later and possibly be even more angry or whatever about whatever this things is. She told me that I would find out with time, even though she knows that one of the things I hate most in life is being kept in the dark on things that are important or life changing. Especially when they pertain to me.
I don't know what to do anymore. even though it sounds bad, and like I might have problems, it is true that I live my life for this woman. I have done so much to better myself just so I could stay with her and not lose her. She made me who I am today, and I wouldn't ever want to be anyone else. But now she's keeping information from me, when we promised to never do that to each other. She's keeping something from me that is apparently the most important thing ever, and there's absolutely no way I can get to her tell me. She just tells me to "leave it alone" because she "can't do this right now."
I need her to understand that if she just tells me now, there's a chance that whatever it is can either be forgiven or worked out with time, but if she doesn't tell me, and just lets me find out eventually like she's planning on, that same chance is going to be marginally slimmer. That's just the honest truth to the matter.
I have stood by her for years. Always been there to listen to her, to talk to her, to be her shoulder to cry on. And now, when it matters most, I'm being neglected, ignored.
I need help. I need guidance. I need something to look forward to, because right now, the future looks bleak and weary, blurred and faded.
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
mars 8, 2008 - samedi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  déconcerté
Tonight, a promise was broken.
Tonight, I realized that nothing will be the same anymore.
Tonight, I fought with myself to not walk away.
Tonight, I forgot happiness for the first time in almost five months.
Tonight, I figured out what it feels like to be truly hopeless for a while.
Tonight, I knew I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, but
Tonight, it was almost fucked up.
Tonight, I wondered for the first time if I had done enough to help.
Tonight, I asked myself if I could ever possibly do any more that I already am.
Tonight, I regret bringing up a certain subject.
Tonight, I regret giving her that letter.
Tonight, I sit here, without her, wanting to be with her so badly.
Tonight, I walked away from the love of my life with a little piece of my heart hanging off by a thread.
Tomorrow, I'll still love her just as much as I did yesterday.
Tomorrow, I'll still look her in the eye and be able to tell her I love her.
Tomorrow, I'll still know that I'll always love her.
Tomorrow, I'll still hold her in my arms.
Tomorrow, I'll still kiss her like it was my last day alive, but
Tomorrow, even though it seems so close, is so far away.
 | Actuellement j'écoute: Summer of Darkness Par Demon Hunter Date de publication : 04 May, 2004 |
|
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
décembre 6, 2007 - jeudi
 |
Everything touched turns to rust. Neverlasting was the glory, shadowed by fate's unrelenting hands. The day I found faith in the ashes. As the blackened snow fell the to the earth, my eyes shattered with the sight of my own demise. There was a beauty about the flames as they licked the sky. Far above the klouds, a pale moon shook with fear. Far in the distance, kries for mercy kould be heard. Macabre was this night, as glistening fire brushed the skyline. Our city fell to the ground, and we danced on the grey fields of our past. Earth, trembling with the ferocious explosions that rocked our souls. This vision of hell at it's finest, we bask in awe at the spektakle of a twilight devestated. The dark of dusk entranced us, faltering in the shroud of embers, glowing with rage. Envious to the forces upon our lives, knowing that nothing will be the same ever again. Waltzing upon the dead bodies of friends and family alike, we laugh and smile the night away. In the morning, we will leave for the next city, start another life. Walking side by side, hand in hand, everything will be fine. Tonight we watched our lives dekay, but tomorrow is another day.
 | Actuellement j'écoute: Cold White Light Par Sentenced Date de publication : 09 July, 2002 |
|
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
décembre 4, 2007 - mardi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  méditatif
Our perfektion was flawed from the beginning. Thoughts of suicide fleeting between passive-aggressive attempts at reality. Warmth of a summer night in your arms, a time we thought no pain would kome to us. Surfacing tensions. Heeding temptations. Somewhere between an exkuse and a lie I found inner beauty. Kome, friend, take a walk with me down this path of sorrows and broken promises. The sun that once lit these skies has long since blackened. All that's left is this dark eternal night entangled within our hearts. We are forever shadowed by this now forgotten, pathetik, soul-less facade we once kalled love. Seeking something more to look to for solace, we embrace the nights alone as something more than they really were. These were the times when nothing was pure, times when you would never find a rememdy for your angst. Seldom are the answers found, and all too random are the questions which we will never understand.
 | Actuellement j'écoute: Sacrament Par Lamb of God Date de publication : 22 August, 2006 |
|
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
décembre 2, 2007 - dimanche
 |
Humeur actuelle :Desolate
Boundless, infinite. Sorrow, bleeding tears of pain. Inhale the devestation. Scent of a newborn horror, faltering. Senses falling to pieces. There was a glimpse of life in the twilight. Rememberance of a still life. Shattered mask of insanity, kovering the truth of desolation. The Oktober wind is rusting, krumbling through your hands, falling forth from the failure. Letting the darkness overwhelm youself, you sink deeper into the sin. Skreams, intense, flow outward from the abyss.. The embodiment of suffering, indifferent. Shelter found in shadows. Illuminate the illness bought by greed. Safe from salvation. Guaranteed damnation. Higher, lower than before. You fucked up again. Let it slip. Found yourself in the ditch, begging for mercy from an imaginary god you've never seen. Reaching up to the sky, blinded by the void of black midnight. Metaphor for your life. In the night he komes back to you. Asks for more. Denial leads to konsequences unforseen. Needles, pain skreaming through your neck. Haunting skars remind you of the pain you felt that night. The world melts away, leaving only a vision of death dekaying around you. Krawling over your face, insekts torment your every thought. Mirror shows half a man. A hole in your face. Skin falling from the bone, torn off by your own hands. Thinking to yourself, what if the spiders were really there? Laying awake, bleeding to death. No sleep for the wicked tonight. Guilt ensues. Failure. Addiktion.
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
novembre 24, 2007 - samedi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  déprimé
Pull me down, throw me out. Fuck me. Fuck you. Worthless existance trapped in the ashes. Light shines through. Brief flashes. Understanding you. Impossibilities sounded out. Break inside. I am my own. Shadows of yesterday parallel to tomorrow. Freedom of the beast. Surrender the weapon, build an empire of lies. Diversity dies. Deciet thrives. Something to behold. Something never told. A silence so loud. Chaos so sirene. Something never seen. Reality at it's weakest. Akross the river. Floating downstream, towards the destruktion of your truth. Living in serenity? Long before you kould see what was missing. Pick me up, my friend. Klose your eyes. Unrelenting pacifism. Grasp the ideals. Inhibitions surrounded by limitations? Enkroach upon thoughtless idiokracy. Behind this garden of broken dreams I lay awake and wonder. Is the point really obvious? Deep under the surface. Step one. Find the inner hatred. Step two. Replace with distrust. Step three. Diskard your stains. Breaking down the machine. Feeling awkward. Everything is right here for you to take with you. Find your way home. Just like reaktionary impulses. Surprising fate with a new way to die. Affirmative aktion. Agressive understanding. Weep for the loss of nothing. Joyous are the days. Unsurpassed willingness to go beyond. Darkness skars the beauty? Dear listener, new faith is just around the korner. Pit of angst. Angels weeping upon purest white of your imaginary snowswept mountaintops. Fallen from grace, nothing but disgrace. In your hands now. Hide your face. Temptations running on low. Turmoil?
 | Actuellement j'écoute: Through the Eyes Par Flaw Date de publication : 30 October, 2001 |
|
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
novembre 24, 2007 - samedi
 |
Humeur actuelle :  déprimé
A frightening dekay of the senses. Awake inside the dream. Soul slipping through the kracks in the void. Lengths of time passed with self-inflikted medikations. Delusions of insanity forcing away the reality of genocide. Poverty of the heart brings on a wealth of the mind. Shooting stars die too. Fantasy. False Hope. Yearning for a new tomorrow, better than yesterday. Day by day nothing seems to change. But from long past, nothing is the same. Change the world the the slip of the blade. Skarring your future. Reminders of a horrid past. Haunting the shores of your perfekt paradise. Fuck. Death. Denial. Rekreate. Medikate. Mediate. Mirroring the reflektions on the water's edge. Lost in a suddenly surreal appearance of ice upon the lips of a dark new midwinter dawn. Wandering throughout the windswept leaves of hope's last chance. Tonight's musik sings to us a silence unsurpassed in the deepest pits of unlimited space. Smiling in the distance, seeing nothing of what is to kome. The future brings hope in the form of pain. Seperated from within. Nothing is the same.
 | Actuellement j'écoute: Through the Eyes Par Flaw Date de publication : 30 October, 2001 |
|
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|
novembre 13, 2007 - mardi
 |
So Yeah... im gettin charged with unlawful possession or marijuana, and two kounts of endangering the welfare of a minor
honestly, i was just bored and i wanted someone to chill with, and [friend 1]wasnt like, awake or anything. [friend 2 and other person] kalled me wonderin what i was doin, i told them i was lookin for someone to hang out with, and they said they'd meet me at the gas station if i wanted to
i didnt see any harm in chillin with them, but apparently i was wrong
kuz they had fuckin weed and a bowl on em
and since they're both under 18, and im over 18, ALL the shit is legally mine
kuz im responsible for anyone under the age of 18 that im with at the time
so legally, i was spose to ask them if they had anything, and if they did either walk away or kall the kops
And i already have a kase pending. the judge just let me off easy as hell on that one too. shitty thing is, she told me that if i get arrested for anything before sentencing, she kan send me straight to prison without my knowledge if she wanted to. The police would just show up at my house, in skule, wherever i was, kuff me, and take me in
So i'm lookin at the time of my life here people.
1 1/3 - 4 in state prison
not a happy fucker right now
I finally got my life on track for once. And now it's all gone forever. im never gonna be able to graduate if this goes through. by the time i get out, everyone i know will be gone.
once everything got goin the way i wanted it to, as soon as i finally kaught a break, the first one ever.... it all goes down the drain.....
im so fucked, i dont know what to do anymore people. i need some fuckin help. ive never asked anybody for help before, and now is when i fuckin need it the most.
please, if anyone at all kan help me in any way at all possible right now, i will do anything in the world to repay you. please, even the littlest things kould help me get through the day right now.
and in kase i dont get a chance to tell anyone personally after this..
i love you all. you know who you are. you people are the ones that made me into the person that i've loved being for so many years, and there's no way for me to thank you all enough.....
Optimisé par  | | Anglais | | Albanais | | Arabe | | Bulgare | | Catalan | | Chinois | | Croate | | Tchèque | | Danois | | Néerlandais | | Estonien | | Philippin | | Finnois | | Français | | Galicien | | Allemand | | Grec | | Hébreu | | Hindi | | Hongrois | | Indonésien | | Italien | | Japonais | | Coréen | | Letton | | Lituanien | | Maltais | | Norvégien | | Polonais | | Portugais | | Roumain | | Russe | | Serbe | | Slovaque | | Slovène | | Espagnol | | Suédois | | Thaï | | Turc | | Ukrainien | | Vietnamien |
|
|
|
|