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Tossed Off!

Tossed Off


Last Updated: 3/29/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 98
Sign: Taurus

City: WINTER HAVEN
State: Florida
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/10/2007

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Monday, August 11, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
In a rare public appearance - well, actually, just a picture of him in his living room, TOSSED OFF! Executive Producer Chris Paris allows himself to be photographed in order to shill for Mininova.org, the "pirate" (koff-koff) torrent distribution site that will be distributing episodes of the series once it gets rolling.



If you want to look exactly like our Executive Producer, well good luck. God broke the mold shortly after Momma Paris spit baby Chris from her uterine walls. But you can buy Mininova t-shirts, in fashionable black (as modeled by our X-O above), or in KKK white, as will be worn by TOSSED OFF's contestant Randall (seen in this blog post.)

Just visit the Mininova store at Jinx, press a few buttons and send a few bucks, and you, too, can look as handsome as that twentysomething hunk seen above. Not more handsome, mind you, but some of you might come in the top nearest ten.

Support Mininova. Support online piracy of video content. Support Red Band Film Company. Support TOSSED OFF! Support terrorism!  Okay, don't support terrorism, but do all of the other things just by buying a goddamned $15 t-shirt.

Whaddya gonna do with that effort, anyway? Vote?? Please.


2:04 AM 
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Thursday, August 07, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Here's the first shot of Randall the computer nerd, as played by Chris Crimy. Isn't he gorgeous?


9:11 PM 
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Friday, May 30, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Many know our beloved Mike Tanley -- called "Big Gunshot Mouth Violator" by the locals of Pariah Island -- as the long standing host of TOSSED OFF! But few know what Mike was doing prior to his gig with The Network, other than that thing with the napalm and those nuns in the late '70s.

Well here's a blast from the past, and it's one that YOU CAN OWN YOURSELF! If you really are a Mike Tanley fan, you can go to a local Publix supermarket right now, and pick up a box of Publix brand Low-Fat Blueberry Fruit and Grain Bars, flip it over, and find a young Mike staring into space while holding architectural plans and wearing a hardhat.

Rumor has it that Publix totally stole this photo of Mike from that time he orchestrated the destruction of bridges during his stint as a soldier for hire in Lebanon, but Publix claims that they actually shot this during a formal photo shoot. Yeah, right. Like Our Man Tanley would even show up for a photo shoot. Sober, anyway.




5:13 PM 
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Monday, April 28, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Some of us will be heading over from the Islands of Adventure park to the CityWalk portion of Universal to see our very own Asif Khan in the worldwide premiere of NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ROBODOC.  So if you're up for it, let me know, or just go nab some premier tickets at:

www.robodocthemovie.com

Asif is prominently displayed on the site, so go check it out.

Congrats, Asif, let's hope playing "Danny the Muslim" on TOSSED OFF! doesn't cripple that career momentum you've built up!
2:58 PM 
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Friday, April 25, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Some of the cast from the newly renamed TOSSED OFF! show are gathering at Universal Orlando for a day of raping and pillaging -- or whatever it is they do at Universal. This is the second such cast outing, and this time we want to see more of our fans and cast show up. Those limited edition T-shirts "Pariah Island" MAY be available for those who come (gotta check supply).

When? Saturday, May 10th. 

If you're game, get back to either me (Chris) right here on MySpace, or Jeff Wells (who plays erudite nudist chef "Leonard" on the show) - Jeff is on MySpace, too, right here.

Or you can email me at chris@redbandfilmco.com, of course.

(Jeff will be there with his pals on three days, May 9 - 11, if you can't make it on the 10th. But we will try to focus the cast party thing for the 10th.)

Let's show Universal what they are missing by not airing our program! (Even though we haven't made it yet.)
1:04 PM 
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Saturday, April 12, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
As you know, this production has been plagued with leaks ever since I started this MySpace page. It's weird because I am the only guy with access to the account, yet somehow stuff keeps getting put on the MySpace page before the official announcement. Weird, huh? 

It's also weird how I never seem to mind. Isn't that weird?

Really weird.

Anyway, something strange is happening over at the www.PariahIsland.com main page, which (weirdly) only a few people have access to.



What's this mean? I dunno.

Weird, huh?
10:40 PM 
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Sunday, March 16, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Over at the official Red Band site, there’s an article on how the entertainment and advertising industries are starting to adopt approaches which look an awful lot like our planned Hypsersponsoring model.

Click here to see.

We’d be leading the pack right now if we had a demo to show around, but alas, that was not meant to be.

Good thing I have patience. I just hope the rest of you do.
2:33 PM 
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Lots of slow-moving, dull, conference-room-bound tasks underway, but not much to talk about with any level of excitement. It's tough to jazz up long talks about intellectual property.

But here, at least, is a little bit on where we currently stand:
  • Name change for the series is still underway. I've spent most of my time on researching possible titles and approaches before submitting to an attorney for his preliminary search. After that, we will conduct a full attorney-led search on a few final candidate titles. It's slow and agonizing and annoying, but necessary given the breadth that the "Pariah Island" franchise will eventually take (TV, internet, games, clothing, etc.) I've brought in two experts on the subject, and we are on our second IP attorney. Once this is done, the trademark will be locked down nicely.
  • Expert advice. I've brought a Tampa-based business adviser on board, albeit informally, to help us navigate these waters better. I say "informally" because his real role will materialize later, as we are further along, but he has given me some priceless advice on the trademark issue. He will be a great resource later, though, in day-to-day operations management.
  • Location negotiations. Still some work being done on this front. Since one of the new planned spots is private property, have to work things out with the owners. Fairly simple, but slow moving, task.
  • Mininova shirts. As you may know, we are partnering with torrent file sharing provider Mininova.org to help distribute the series, once it's running. In a cool bit of kismet, we were trying to come up some cool-but-geeky shirt for our character "Randall" to wear, and I just bumped into Mininova's online t-shirt store! So Randall will be wearing a Mininova shirt while on the island, making a great platform for our hypervideo technology -- whenever Randall is on screen, you will be able to click on him and jump to Mininova.org. In the mean time, if you just must have a Mininova shirt like Randall will be wearing, go visit their store.
  • Topo page for the website. We are working with Michael Shane Baker -- the young actor playing "Topo" the mysterious aboriginal boy who seems to run everything on Pariah Island -- on some makeup tests, primarily for the website. Under the new site design, Topo got dropped because there was no good place to fit him. We've decided to add a page on Topo, similar to the Mike Tanley page. Should be fun.
On a somewhat related note, show co-creator and composer Mac Styran is working on his thesis project, a conceptual sequel to the 1920 German expressionist film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, called The Caligari Experiment. Go to Mac's MySpace page and send him some love.

That's about it, for now. As always, I appreciate the patience and love everyone involved with the show has sent our way so far. As I watch some other shows rush to production without having covered all the bases we have, I not only get a little scared for those folks, but also feel our approach -- although slow -- is smart and will result in a long term success that faces few hurdles later.
2:31 PM 
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Monday, February 04, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
While we figure out what the heck to do about our name change problem, we came up with a working title -- Ahole Atoll.

It's funny, but doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, and I'll spend the better part of the rest of my life explaining what an "atoll" is, so for now it's just a working title.

My vocabulary keeps getting me in trouble. So far all the names I've come up with includes words like "abattoir", "charnel" or "idyll" -- my wife keeps telling me that those are MORE obscure than "pariah". Sigh.

So far the leading candidate is AMERICA'S NEXT LOST TOP SURVIVOR IDOL.

Believe it or not, that one would probably sail through the Patent and Trademark Office. The rules are THAT odd.
3:11 PM 
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Saturday, February 02, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Don't freak. The show isn't dead. The name of the show, is.

Thanks to the sluglike speed of the US Patent and Trademark Office (PTO), we are only now finding out that the name "Pariah Island" faces some significant obstacles in clearing as a trademark. It seems producer Gavin Polone (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Conan O'Brien) has the name "Pariah" trademarked for his production company, and since the filing codes for a production company and a production are the same, the PTO thinks there will be confusion. Ergo, the PTO has declined our application, which was sent one billion months ago. Literally. I had filed it using a flint knife on a bit of stone.

I called Mr. Polone personally, to see if we could get a "Notification of Consent" from him, which would give us permission to use it, and thereby bypass the PTO's objections. Alas, after discussing it, it was clear that there could be reasonable confusion between his company's work and our show, so we agreed that a deal could not be struck. To his credit, Gavin was far more courteous about the matter than his peers may have been. From his perspective, I was basically asking permission to piss on his leg while he watched. You know, ... metaphorically.

So while we can keep the word "pariah" in the script -- as the name of the island, perhaps -- we cannot use it in any capacity of trademarking television programming.

This means we have to rename the show.

As much as I like the name "Pariah Island" -- it really does sound lyrical, once you know how to pronounce it -- it's brought a lot of problems. No one knows what the hell a "pariah" is, nevermind how to say it. Everyone was insisting I misspelled "piranha" the fish. And every time I mentioned the name of the show or the website, I had to spell it out for people. That's not a good thing when it comes to marketing.

Now, before you start hitting reply with a host of suggestions, save yourself the trouble. I cannot take anything you might suggest. In fact, anything you suggest has to automatically go into the "discard" file. This is because if you were to suggest something I like, legally Red Band would have to purchase it from you, and that could cost as much as the lawyers. So please -- do not make suggestions on show titles. I put that last sentence in red, so you know I am serious. I put everything serious in red. You should see my Organ Donor Card. It's got more rouge than a Las Vegas showgirl.

Anyway, you may notice a lot of scrambling around the website and MySpace page -- all of that will have to change to fit the new title, and it may have to come down in the interim.  The folks at Pariah may be courteous now, but if we were to continue to use the name indefinitely, no doubt their patience would wear thin. And we really aren't in the business of intellectual property theft.

So that means Mac and I are scratching our brainpans trying to come up with a suitable new name,  one that won't get us sued. Some we were considering:
  • Servyver
  • The Amazing Racist
  • Gilligan's Island of Doom
  • Are You Smarter than a Network Executive?
  • On Top of America's Next Model
  • Project Runaway Train
  • Cloverfield
Frankly, I don't think any of those are unique enough to pass muster, either. But you get the picture.

We'll come up with something stupendous.

So, don't despair over the long delays and hurdles that are being thrown at us like mad lately. The philosopher Hegel presented that all forward momentum and evolution is the result of contradiction and negation -- the status quo challenged by an alien progress, resulting in a new status quo that is superior to and supplants the first, which itself is then challenged again by a new alien progress, pushing the entire history forward. In short, success may only be obtained by overcoming obstacles. The trick is to welcome the obstacles, and allow them to change the process in a natural way -- fighting them results in a stall, and history abhors inertia.

That's why I have a big bowl of Chinese Finger Traps on my desk, if anyone asks.

Did I lose you?  Drop by some day, you can have one of the official Red Band Chinese finger traps, and we can wax eloquent about Hegelian philosophy. Or, failing that, swap fart jokes.
1:56 PM 
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