Yes, it's true.  Carolina Rose is among us.

..

(picture removed at the request of a fiesty new aunt)

A few things.

First, Kelsey and I are going on a cruise Saturday.  We're driving to the airport Friday.  It's supposed to start snowing Thursday.  I hope all goes well.

Secondly, my company is looking to sell.  In about 20 minutes we're having a meeting to discuss exactly how filthy stinking rich we're all going to get.  Again, I hope all goes well.

Thirdly, the NFL released the schedule for the upcoming season yesterday.  Despite being a Vikings fan, I don't hope that all will go well, because I'll only be let down.  It's nice not having to be optimistic about everything.  Here's the schedge:

The games in weeks 15 and 17 will be meaningless for Chicago and Denver, so we'll be playing their 2nd string players.  In reality the Vikes will only earn 5 wins this year (and with 2 likely coming from Detroit and one all but guaranteed from Oakland, "earned" might be too strong of a word). 

(sigh)

At least I'm going on a cruise.

Today is Kelsey's 22nd birthday.  Happy Birthday!  Here's the napkin she packed in my lunch for work today:

Indeed.  Congrats on 22 years of life!  Let's go on a date!

So we've had some unusual and cold weather in Colorado lately.  The snow was sticking to things in a bizarre manner.  Here's a picture of my car, featuring the antenna in the foreground and a Minnesota state flag representin'.

Weird.

I put some new pictures of my boy Emery up in the album of the same name, so have yourself a look if you're interested.

First of all, my parents are coming into town this weekend.  This is a great relief to me because we'll be moving from the prepare-the-house-until-it-surpases-all-expectations mode to relax-and-have-a-beer-with-my-old-man mode.  Hooray!

Secondly, al-Zarqawi is dead.  Hey, al, are you enjoying your 72 virgins in paradise?  ...  What's that you say?  Oh my.  Well, my fair readers, you'll hear it here first.  Turns out there is a misinterpretation of the Quran.  A Muslim martyr's reward is actually having one's virginity removed by 72 pineapples.  Huh.  That's way different.

I wonder what the pineapples did to deserve such a punishment.

Thirdly, do you remember the post in which I described the mysterious blue biked that has been chained to a light post outside my office for weeks?  Yesterday it was gone.  All that remained was a sad blue bike lock laying severed and useless on the sidewalk.  But that's not the best part.  The best part is that a coworker of mine found DISEMBODIED CRAB CLAWS strewn about the area.  Holy macaroni!  I'll try and post some pictures soon.  The company I work for has a few blogs, and the sotry might make it to there eventually also, so I'll keep you posted.

Sadly, the site I've been using to post many of the videos here has disappeared and now points to its parent site.  This is not a site I be happy about linking to, so I've disabled the links to most videos on the posts.  Sorry!  I'll keep an eye out for a replacement site so that I can continue to bring you wheely-ing vehicles that have no business doing wheelies and strange women trying to bite police officers.  Excellent.

Until that day, however, you'll just have to live with whatever funny pictures I can dig up.

I hope this helps you make it through your day.

..to come up with entertaining material to write about.

Ha!  I just fooled you sensative suckers into this post.  You'll like the video at the end of this one though, I'll bet.  Maybe not.  You'll have to watch it to find out.

So, Kelsey and I are painting some of the interior of the ol' homestead.  Some walls remain white while others transmogrify into blue.  If you think "transmogrify" isn't a word, go read some Calvin & Hobbes.  It'll do you some good.

Anyhow, I'll let you know how the painting turns out.

Also, we're sanding and staining some of my ultra-macho homemade furniture.  I nailed together some boards and when two separate entities resulted, I dubbed one "book case" and the other "entertainment thingy".

Why all of the home projects? you may ask.  Because my parents are coming to town and Kelsey is worried about not looking like an accomplished and independent, successful family! I say.  Well, that's not entirely accurate.  It's all stuff we want to do, and company is a good motivator.  So there.

There's a bright blue BMX-style bike that's been chained to a pole outside my office building for about a week.  I'm a bit suspicious, but it's probably just a bike.

...or not.

So, a co-oworker of mine sent an email to everyone in the company advertising a FREE 27 inch tv.  Apparently many people responded, but I was the first.  Sweet!  It will become the monitor for the Nintendo.  Excellent.

Hopefully that funky smell problem will fix itself if I leave it out in the garage for a week or two.

Ok, so I'm pro-police.  I think a lot of young people like to be all cool via anti-establishment nonsense, but I don't fall for it.  Anyhow, the police are here to protect and serve, and if you were, say, a discheveled lady acting nonsensical to a male cop, he'd try and do his best.  Even if you suggested the nickname "doodoo" for an him, he'd try and help you out.  But if you try to bite him, you're going down.  Plain as day.

Is the above hypothetical?  No, my friends, it is actual.  And, lucky for you, footage of the above events exists.  Enjoy.

That's all for now.  Enjoy your weekends!

I'll be honest.  I'm hoping that the title of this blog intrigued those who don't recognize the phrase and created interest for those who do.  In fact, for statistical analysis, I am requesting that you vote for one of the following options when you comment so that I might know why you clicked to read this post.  Even if you don't want to comment, you should still vote.  So says I.

A) You are familiar with the band Thirty Called Arson

B) You were intrigued by the title with no foreknowledge of the band (yes, band)

C) The title had nothing to do with you reading this post

Okie dokie!  For those who do know the band, fear not.  I have a good reason for using their name as the title of this post.  For those who don't, I'll give you a one sentence summary of the band:

They ruled, they played tricky rhythms and screamed lots, they performed in their stocking feet, and they no longer exist.

I was saddened today to realize that Wikipedia had no entry for this band.  Then I thought, "Hey!  This is Wikipedia!  I can make an entry for the band!"  So I did.  It's very minimal as I don't know much about the band beyond the fact that I liked them.  So, for all of you fans, if you can think of anything to add or edit about the article, either let me know or do it yerself.  Neat.

Changing gears(somewhat literally), there's a spot on the road in Colorado Springs that typically gets clogged with traffic in the afternoon.  I often find myself stuck in (and contributing to) this clog.  I can live with that.  What I can't live with, however, are the people who drive hundreds of yards up the shoulder so that they can turn right at the light which is still a ways off.  Hey, jerks, there's a reason the shoulder is there.  That's for cars with flat tires and over heating engines.  It's for emergency vehicles.  It's not for your convenience, jerkfaces.  So, I do what any red-blooded American with a semi-alrming amount of internal rage would do: I pull three-quarters of the way onto the shoulder and maintain my spot in line in the right lane.

Boy, the looks and fingers I've experienced!

It's great though, because I usually get a grin and/or thumbs up from the law-abiding drivers around me.  That and I serve a nice, hot, steamy pile of justice to those shoulder abusing mongloids.

They should be grateful to only have to wait for a few minutes.  Things could be worse.  They could be hit by the Quehenberger.

Squish!

Lastly, you know those people who dress up and knock on your door and invite you to church?  You know, they usually worship something that's not Jesus?  Mormons and assorted, lesser-known religions.  You know who I mean.  Anyway, here's a video of a couple of college-aged guys having some fun at their expense.  It made me laugh, and it'll make you laugh too.  It takes some time to get funny, but have patience.  It's well worth it.

That's all for today.  Don't forget to vote!  A B C!

So, how was your weekend?  Mine was cheap!

Friday night I took the missus to a secluded cabin in the woods.  Armed with microwave dinners, a six pack of Miller Highlife and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, we set out for adventure.  We failed to finish off the beer and ended up watching a romance/drama flick instead, but it was loads of fun.  I'll have to stick a pic or two up.  Maybe.

By the way, the "true events" that the Texas Chainsaw yadda yadda are based on having nothing to do with Texas or chainsaws.  Some dude just liked to wear human skin, that's all.

Saturday we went to a wedding.  An outdoor wedding.  An outdoor wedding that got rained on.  Rock.  It was fun watching the musicians cover up their gear and single people go running for the nearest building so that they might preserve their well-laid plans to look good and land a date with a member of the wedding party.  Lest you think I'm cruel, I can assure you that both the bride and groom were able to laugh off the turn of events and continue the ceremony indoors and unscathed.

Then we watched the O.C.  (sigh)

On Sunday I did a lot of stuff that made me feel like my dad.  I took my family to church, mowed the lawn, changed the oil, and went to softball practice.  That night, however, things got wild and crazy when the wife and I went to Albertaco's to eat.  Whoa Nelly!  They had a website, but it expired in April.  The place is definitely a class act.

Last night I saw United 93. 

I won't say much, but I will tell you this: it avoids politics, it is un-Hollywood, and shows a very human side to both the passengers and terrorists while still firmly establishing which are the bad guys.  It is certainly worth seeing.

And because I'm me, here's a video of a guy running a red light in the way that I would invision a camel going through the eye of a needle.

So, sometimes I see something that is so insignificant and so cool at the same time that it nearly blows my mind (man).  One such incident occured today.

So, you know the FedEx logo?  Of course you do.  It's purple and orange, for goodness' sake.  In any event, give yourself a refresher:

Pretty good logo, if you ask me.  Simple, striking, easy to recognize.  Well, as many times as I have seen this logo, I had to have a subliminal detail pointed out to me before I noticed it.  "Now," as he who revealed this to me also said, "it's all I can see."  (Don't click that link unless you want to ruin the suprise.)

Before I tell you, do you have any guesses?

.......

.........

.......

Look closely.

.......

.........

.......

Think "obvious."

.......

.........

.......

Give up?  Sissy.  Well, here it is:

There's a stinkin' ARROW right in front of our unobservant faces!  Ridiculous.  Is that as interesting to you as it was to me?  No?  Huh.  Well I still think it's a big deal, so if you disagree you can take a hike.  They did, by the way, do that on purpose.

If that's not interesting to you, you could try clicking here for an incredibly hilarious cartoon video, which, among other things, has the phrase "For the love of God and all that is holy, my anus is bleeding!" in it.  Warning: if you don't enjoy senseless animated violence including, but not limited to: eyes popping out, babies falling down staircases, people using other people's stomaches as hats, and, of course, bleeding anuses, then, for the sake of all that is right and good, (including, obviously, horrendous run-on sentences) DO NOT CLICK ON THAT LINK.  Also, you might want to question your presence here.  This blog is all about humor of this nature.

  My anus is bleeding!

Well, I'm off to spend a spooky evening in a cabin with some scary movies, a bottle of cheap wine, and, most importantly, my wife!  Pictures to follow.

Happy weekend, everybody!

...and I for one am glad.  Here's why:

1) He wanted to be a martyr.  Now he doesn't get it.

2) The cost of life in prison, contrary to some beliefs, is not exponentially more expensive than life on death row followed by execution.

3) It sends an important message to the rest of the world, and especially to terrorists and their sympathizers.

4) He now has plenty of time to (potentially, hopefully) begin to feel remorse for his actions.  Perhaps someday he'll apologize.

5) There will be plenty of inmates who will make Moussaoui uncomfortable at best for a long time.

Thoughts?

for some background info on Moussaoui and his case, click here
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zacarias_Moussaoui

and here
http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/crime/terrorists/zacarias-moussaoui/

(the link thing for myspace isn't working.  sorry for the ugliness.)

UPDATE

I was the 83,673rd person to vote on MSN's website about whether or not I agreed with the verdict, and it's running along at 50/50.  What a fun issue to debate!